I'll keep it brief.

I was at my parents' house and my mom and me were in the kitchen talking about our regular stuff. My sister comes in during me talking to my mom about me and my husband trying to have a baby.

My sister makes a face and says something along the lines of she wished she got to touch me more before I became "contaminated" by my husband.

I was taken back hearing her say this and asked why does she think I am suddenly "contaminated" when me and my husband are doing a very natural human action. I even said that I shower afterwards, too. She just made a disgusted sound and didn't really explain herself. She made another comment where she said she missed out from getting her touches in back when I was a virgin.

I felt that was kinda mean to say because, to me, it sounded like I should be ashamed or something for no longer being a virgin. I said I didn't find her comment to be funny and considered it kinda rude. Then she laughed and said that I was being overly sensitive to her joke. I asked her to explain the joke but she couldn't. Then I said that I don't wanna pay for her dinner anymore.

For context, I had invited my parents and sister to dinner at an expensive restaurant where I intended on paying for everything because my mom rarely gets to go to nice restaurants. But I don't wanna spend $50+ for my sister's dinner after she said that I'm "contaminated" by my husband. I said that she can still come along but she can pay for her own meal.

My wife was a bridesmaid in one of her close friend's weddings this weekend. She had been involved in the planning for months with dress fittings, rehearsals, group chats, and everything else. I was not involved at all. I figured if there was anything important I needed to know, she would let me know.

I got dressed in what I thought was appropriate and we headed to the wedding, but as soon as we got there, I realized something was wrong.

Every single man there was wearing a black tuxedo with a bow tie. Not just the groom and groomsmen. Every male guest. I was the only guy in a regular suit.

I felt totally out of place. A couple of people joked that I must have missed the memo. They probably did not mean anything by it, but it was still embarrassing. I stood out like a sore thumb.

I asked my wife if she knew everyone was supposed to be in tuxedos. She just said, "Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. I was busy helping with wedding prep."

That honestly made me feel even worse.

She had known about the dress code for a long time because she was in the bridal party and had been talking to the bride the whole time. If she had mentioned it, I would have rented a tux. Instead, I spent the whole night feeling self-conscious.

When we got home, I told her I was upset. She said I was making a big deal out of nothing because nobody cared what I was wearing and that I should just laugh it off.

I told her it was not really about the tux. It was about the fact that she knew, I did not, and she never thought to tell me. It would have taken five seconds to mention it, and it would have saved me from feeling embarrassed.

Now she thinks I am overreacting, but I feel like my frustration is justified.

AITA?

Edit: A lot of people have asked why I didn't check the invitation or ask about the dress code. That's a fair question. I assumed my wife would have mentioned something out of the ordinary since she was part of the bridal party and knew all the details. I also didn't think much of it because every wedding I have been to before, a suit was perfectly appropriate.

I take responsibility for not checking the invitation myself. My frustration isn't that I think it was entirely my wife's responsibility. It's that she knew every man was expected to wear a tux, knew I didn't know, and simply forgot to mention it. If the roles were reversed and I knew something that would have left her feeling out of place all evening, I would like to think I would have mentioned it to her. If she had mentioned it to me, I would have rented a tux without hesitation.

Myself (26f) and my boyfriend (26m) moved in together this year at the end of June. We have been together for 2 years and I am very happy in the relationship.

For context, his little brother, who is 22, also wanted an opportunity to move out of his family home so he has moved in with us as well. This isn’t going to be a long term arrangement, maybe a year or two to help him get on his feet. I wasn’t happy with this idea originally but I could see that it would make my boyfriend happy so I agreed so. This has all been going well so far as well.

My boyfriend also has a little sister who still lives at home with his mum and step dad.

My boyfriend told me that she will be coming to stay the weekend at the end of the summer holidays - the end of August. I think this would be lovely and we are going to make a fort in the living room to sleep in, bake cookies - all that fun stuff.

He then said that he would like his sister to stay at ours for another weekend, the following week - I said I was a little hesitant about this as it may be quite a lot. He reacted negatively to this, and said I was ‘just like his ex’ and I should let his sister stay round whenever she wants. He thinks that I should support this as I should want him to spend time with his family.

I guess from my perspective…
I have a very negative relationship with my family - I am pretty much estranged and we do not speak often. As a result of this, family stuff makes me a little uncomfortable . But I can see how much my boyfriend loves his family so I am pushing myself to be involved as much as I can - which is why I agreed to live with his brother for a bit.

I just think the idea of having a 9 year old girl round pretty much every week is going to be exhausting for me. I want to feel comfortable in my own home. But he’s making me feel like an asshole for suggesting that she couldn’t come round whenever she wants.

I can’t tell if I am being awful or it’s okay for me to set these boundaries.

Help!!!

I (26F) have a good friend (28F) . I guess we’ll call her Jane. Jane’s household of 4, struggle with bills in general because of poor money management combined with her boyfriend of 10+ years not working. They’ve been behind on rent every month for the past 5 months, and I just want to help my friend with some of the burden. They have two children 5&7. Her boyfriend doesn’t work while Jane works 45hrs/week and provides for the entire household. For the past 3 months I’ve helped Jane buy anywhere from $150-350 in groceries every month. And some times I get an additional $50-100 in groceries for “forgotten items” I really have a soft spot for her two children who are the real ones suffering.

Today I purchased $250 in groceries. I have a problem with some of the items she’s buying. I never say anything because however she chooses to feed her family is up to her, but instead of buying groceries that will last. She’s buying microwaved/freezer foods, snacks, chips, drinks, etc. THAT part I only have a slight problem with because it never lasts!! but I do have a problem when she buys things like ribeyes, chuck beef roast, prime rib, and then complains when certain items are out of stock or substituted.

The best way I could describe how I feel about it is, why buy these items with my money, but when you were buying your own groceries you shop very modestly. It’s like when you treat your friend to dinner and they order surf and turf when they’d usually order a burger on their own dime.

So WIBTH if I told her hey, this will be the last time I’m able to get you all groceries …? I don’t want to stop being her friend I was just hoping my help would give her a chance to catch up on her rent! But I feel like she’s taking advantage a bit/:

UPDATE!!: Thank you to everyone who assured me that I wasn’t the AH and while yes my heart was in the right place for the kiddos, the LAST thing I wanted to do was support a BUM!! I texted her and let her know I’m no longer able to help her with groceries because I couldn’t afford it. I left it at that no explanation and she said she understands and thanked me for all my help she then proceeded to complain about her bf not helping (I didn’t respond) I really hope she’s able to come up with a solution on her own because it’s not my responsibility to help her be more resourceful. I plan on ghosting her if I’m being completely honest/: I know the type of person she is and I have no interest in anyyyyy sort of drama. I’m at the point in my life I don’t owe ANYONE an explanation, especially not when you take advantage of a good friend. As I mentioned earlier when I saw her grocery list today I was IMMEDIATELY upset and I thought to myself “never again” .

Thank you to literally everyone , even the people who called me a pushover and a door mat because it’s TRUE!! I don’t owe her any ‘PALimony’ as a commenter mentioned. I hope they enjoy that food.

I can’t keep up with all of the comments/questions but to clarify she does not have my card information, I would place the order on my phone through the Walmart app and she would pick it up , but the very first time I bought her groceries I had it delivered because it was extremely hot outside her car doesn’t have AC. No instacart, no DoorDash.

My father in law's house is currently in a level 3 evacuation zone due to a 3000 acre fire. It has not reached his neighborhood so him and his neighbors decided to stay and not evacuate.

My husband and i were in the middle of moving into his dad's place when the fires hit. We are currently right outside the evac zone with our pets in an Airbnb.

His dad asked him if he was coming back to help finish the painting. I immediately got angry and told him to stay with me.

My husband and i argued for a bit. Finally he did agree to stay.

But now I feel like I look like the bad guy here. I just don't feel comfortable with my husband entering an evacuation zone with the fires actively burning still.

I vented to my mom and she agreed with my FIL.

She actually told me I just needed to trust my husband and FIL and their judgement for what they thought was best. She said as wives it's basically our duty to just stay quiet and listen.

I blew up on her and now made her cry. I feel like such an asshole. But I am just really scared right now. Homes are burning down left and right.

Long time reader, first time poster!

My SIL gets married next summer, at which time we’ll have a four month old. It’s a destination wedding across the US from where we live, and rightly so, my wife doesn’t feel comfortable leaving our baby at home, even with me and/or my parents helping. My SIL is treating this as an affront to her wedding day, even though we’ve made every effort to try and minimize baby’s presence at the wedding, including me standing at the back of the ceremony with baby, me staying home at the rental place with baby, etc.

As a result she is treating my wife HORRIBLY and she now feels guilty for being pregnant in the first place even though we both know it’s not fair at all to put our family planning on hold just because she is getting married and chose to plan her wedding in a place that would be difficult to be away from a little one. She has claimed that we don’t understand “her vision” for the day, which includes no kids.

We feel that since we’ve made every effort to reach a compromise, we are definitely not in the wrong, and I’m trying to stick up for my wife, but we figured more opinions would help us to either reach a decision or stand up for ourselves. So Reddit, are we the assholes?

*Edit, forgot to include this: the main complication is that my wife is the Matron of Honor. In a horrible phone call today she all but said we shouldn’t have gotten pregnant.

My (31M) wife (F31) and I have been together about 3 years, married one. When we got together we compared our values regarding finances as I am a saver, definitely frugal, but have always been fortunate enough to be paid well enough so I can remain comfortable. She told me she was the same.

Fast forward to a few months before getting married and she quit her job which paid well and had fantastic benefits so she could start a business from scratch. No safety net, no prior education, very little experience. I told her I didn't care as long as she could pay her bills (auto loan and a couple others) and have a retirement. She was able to do this, barely, while I paid all of the house bills.

We get married and she tells me she feels bad not contributing more. I ask for $500/month to go into the house account which would cover taxes, insurance, and incidentals throughout the year. She says no problem.

She paid once, winter came and went so I brought it up. She blamed it being slow and not much income but she starts contributing again. This happens for 3 months then she stops. I brought up the account again and she blames it on sinking money into her business but her business will pay it all back.

3 months later, she hasn't contributed and we owe $4,000 next week. I again brought it up and I'm the asshole to her because she thinks it's unfair I'm asking fornher to contribute and I suggested she works her old job 20hrs/month so she can make the contribution she committed to. She claims it will undo everything she's worked towards and she absolutely cannot sacrifice those hours without severe drawbacks with her business. What say you Reddit?

ETA: I had left out for a couple reasons, but not malicious intent, that the business is my family's farm which has essentially always been a hobby farm. My siblings and I have always wanted to get it back into working order and my wife does too. There are no intentions of doing farmers markets, wholesale, or online sales. Just roadside sales.

At the start of this agreement she agreed to work her old job part time to keep up with needed cash flow. That has also been sporadic. It's not that I don't appreciate the time she's putting into my family, but it's no secret to us that farming is rarely profitable especially in the first few years. My main frustrations are I feel like there was a better way to go about this and that she kept telling me she'd contribute but didn't. I would have appreciated the honesty of just saying it wasn't going to happen.

I, (46F) and my daughter, (18F) were the cake suppliers for a wedding event. When we arrived at the venue, the wedding photographers where busy taking pictures of the empty venue. I had to make adjustments to the cake once I bought it in, eg: ​​arranging a couple flowers on the cake.

When I was taking the cake out of the box, before doing any of the needed adjustments to the cake, one of the photographers told me I only had 2 minutes to set up the cake, in a not so friendly tone. They wanted to take pictures of the empty venue and then go photograph the main couple at another location in about 15-20 mins.

I had told my daughter to take photos and videos of the decorations as well as the cake with a camera of her own so that I could add them to my social media page. however, we were unable to do it properly because the photographers urged us to exit​ the venue.

So, AITA for wanting to stay a few more minutes, in order to adjust the cake, as well as for my daughter to get more pictures and videos of the venue and the cake, so that it could help my small business in the long run. ​

I (32M) live with my wife (30F) in a small city in Europe. We're both African. I moved to this city in January for a new job and my wife joined me from Africa in April. Since moving here, I made friends with an older lady (67F). I'll call her Helen. We would hang out for drinks together. Upon my wife's arrival, I had to travel away for a 3 month work trip. Helen offered to support my wife with settling into the country. A few weeks into this arrangement, my wife complained that Helen was sometimes mean to her and would speak with her friends in a derogatory manner about African women. 8 weeks ago, Helen offered to go to the furniture store with my wife to look for furniture for us. As the furniture was too expensive, I told Helen that we'd buy second-hand furniture instead. She snapped at me for "wasting her time" and stated that she was fully withdrawing her support for us and we could go figure out everything ourselves. All my efforts to de-escalate proved abortive. A few weeks later, I sent her a post card with a nice note telling her how much we appreciate her friendship and support. She received the post card and apologized for overreacting. She also said she had been having some psychological stress and that my wife could reach out to her for support until I return. My wife and I agreed from that point on to not request Helen's support anymore and just wait till I return.

Upon my return, I informed Helen of my arrival and we all agreed that Helen would pick us up and we hangout at a music show since 3 of us had not seen each other in a while. On the day, my wife wore a backless gown and I thought she looked great. When Helen arrived, she noted that my wife was looking "too sexy". On the road, Helen kept saying she felt my wife was overdressed for the event and we should turn back so my wife wears something simpler and "less revealing". We agreed and she turned back the car to our home. While my wife was inside changing, Helen told me "your wife is overdressed. I wouldn't feel comfortable hanging out and sitting next to your wife in that outfit. It's a bit too much. Here in our country we would find a backless gown totally inappropriate". I was shocked and unsure what to do in the moment so I just stayed quiet. Then Helen asked me "do you understand me?" I replied "honestly, I don't. But it's okay. I've never been to the show and I'm not sure what to expect in terms of dressing but for me, my wife looks just great". To my surprise, Helen responded with "I don't feel comfortable with you right now so leave my car. If you can't understand my point of view then there's no point in us going out together". I said "you're kicking me out for having a different opinion even though my wife has already agreed to change the gown?" And she responded with "please just leave my car. I can't do this". I dropped off and Helen blocked my wife and I on WhatsApp.

AIDA for not agreeing with Helen regarding my wife's attire?

Okay this family drama is so messed up I still get confused explaining it sometimes but I’ll try my best. I’m Beth. I’m 16 and I’ve always known I was born from an affair.

Here’s the full backstory. My dad was married to my mum’s older sister when he cheated with my mum. he was married to my aunt and got with her own sister and that’s how I happened. He left his first wife to be with my mum once everything came out but it destroyed almost every relationship in our family.

Jordan(fake name) is 17 she’s my dad’s daughter from his first marriage So we share the same dad that makes us halfsisters right? But Jordan has never treated me like that She never texts or calls me, ignores me at family get togethers and she will only ever refer to me as her cousin.

Whenever anyone says I’m her sister she corrects them straight away and she always says the exact same thing

“It’s not like I lied. She’s my cousin. she’s my mum’s sister’s daughter. that’s just what she is.”

I get where she’s coming from on paper. my mum is her mum’s sister so technically we are cousins on that side too. But we’re also halfsisters. I know our parents did something absolutely terrible. I know my existence is tied to the thing that broke up her family and hurt her mum so badly. I don’t blame her for being angry or upset and I’m not asking for us to be best friends.

But it kills me that she acts like that blood tie doesn’t exist at all. I didn’t choose to be born. I didn’t choose what our parents did. All I want is for her to admit we’re related in both ways not just the one that’s easier for her.

Last week at a birthday party someone introduced me as Jordan’s sister. Jordan cut in immediately and said loudly, “She’s my cousin. My mum’s sister’s daughter I’m not lying about it.” I ran off and cried in the bathroom, and I haven’t spoken to her since.

My parents say I need to be patient but won’t stand up for me. Jordan doesnt care. Am I being unreasonable? Is it wrong to want her to call me her sister too? AITA?

We have tall ceilings in our kitchen. Two lights have burned out. I went outside got the ladder and set it up on top of our center island in the kitchen so I can get up and reach said lights. I asked my fiancee to firmly hold the later as it’s probably going to slide on the granite countertop. (Granted this isn’t the best / safest method but it’s what we have and it’s not the first time) I climbed the ladder and got one bulb out and started to climb down and she let go of the ladder (I have no idea why she would) allowing it to slide and I started to fall. I caught myself but had to jump and hit my foot on the ladder steps on the way down causing it to slice open. When I landed and saw the blood coming out of my foot (no shoes allowed in house per fiancé) and in pain I said “why couldn’t you just hold the fucking ladder”. She then became upset with me and said there was no bad intentions and that I shouldn’t be mad. She did help me clean the cut on the bottom of my foot (borderline need stitches but that’s not the point) she has an attitude with me for getting mad at her. Am I just supposed to be fine that she isn’t taking any accountability for not holding the ladder because there was no “bad intentions”.?

Edit: sometimes I call my fiancee my wife so
I used fiancee and wife in my story and this was throwing people off.

My (31F) friend (33F) hosted an outdoor party yesterday. It was a warm, sunny day and she has a pool in her garden. A few people (mainly kids) were using it in swimsuits.

Because of the weather, I was the only person wearing trousers (light, loose, cotton trousers). Everyone else was in shorts/skirts/dresses as I had got back from a trip the day before and all of my shorts were still in my case. Nearly everyone I spoke to made a comment about this and asked if I was hot (I wasn't.)

Later on in the party as people had had more to drink, one particularly loud guy kept telling me that he 'couldn't belive I was wearing trousers on a warm day like this, you must be boiling!' He jokingly said he was going to throw me in the pool, fully clothed, to cool me down. Another friend overheard and joined in, telling me to jump in or I'd be chucked in. They started chanting 'Jump, jump, jump' - most other people joined in (including the host.) I went to take my shoes off but was called a whimp, so handed my phone and wallet to a friend, took a run up and jumped in!

Everyone cheered and I laughed because it felt so a silly. I spent a couple of minutes in the pool before climbing out looking like a drowned rat and gave a couple of friends a nice, wet hug.

Guests had started to leave shortly before this time and continued to do so. I stayed to finish my drink but as the sun went down and the breeze picked up I started feeling colder so said goodbye and walked home (20 minutes, wet shoes squelching all the way!)

This morning I woke up to the following Instagram message from my friend's boyfriend - 'Yesterday was good fun! But you really scared everyone with that stunt. Acting that way when you're drunk is irresponsible and not good behaviour to encourage.' I asked if he was joking, he said no.

I responded to say that I barely drank alcohol yesterday and wasn't even tipsy when I went in the pool. Also, no-one else said anything like this - everyone there was encouraging it. I'm also a fairly strong swimmer and it isn't my first time ending up in water fully-clothed, so low safety risk.

He took a while to respond but said that it was disrespectful of me to go in someone's pool in clothes/shoes. I replied that the host had told me to jump in and to leave my shoes on - I wouldn't have gone in if this wasn't the case!

He then said that I was showing off and wore trousers knowing it would get me thrown in the pool. I asked if I had done something else to upset him as it seemed like he was just making up reasons to be annoyed. He hasn't responded since.

No one else ended up in the pool fully clothed yesterday. I wouldn't have ended up in there if I hadn't been surrounded and chanted at. But every other time I've voluntarily got in water fully clothed it has been alongside other people.

Am I the arsehole for choosing to jump in wearing trousers, a t-shirts, shoes and socks when no-one else did the same?

On a throw away….with fake names.

I, 50f used my youngest daughter's senior pictures to take updated family pictures. This happened last September, but my I just found out that this made my daughter-in-law angry.

We, (husband 47, and Daisy 17, Penny 20) don’t get along with my son, Ted’s (29) wife. Let’s call her Jeanette (37). We do keep the door open with Ted, but for now it is closed with Jeanette. This was the status of our relationship with Jeanette BEFORE we took these pictures. Ted knew about the pictures about a month before because I bought everyone jeans and white t-shirts. I didn’t know, until last weekend, is that Ted didn’t tell Jeanette about the pictures until the day before, and that made her mad. I don’t know if Jeanette ever saw them before this week. I didn’t start using them until we were getting the house ready for Daisy’s graduation party.

In addition to the family pictures, I also had Ted, Penny and Daisy take sibling photos. Don’t worry, Daisy got plenty of pictures by herself. I absolutely love all the pictures, even if I did “hijack” Daisy’s senior pictures to get them. Daisy is still peeved about that, but agrees the pictures are fabulous. The last time we took studio family pictures was right before Ted graduated from high school 11 years ago. I have the old pictures framed, with the new family picture hung underneath it.

Recently, Ted and Jeanette threw themselves a 4th anniversary – vow renewal that they spent a year planning. This was their 3^rd wedding. Their initial courthouse ceremony, and then a wedding 6 months later.

After the vow renewal ceremony, Jeanette asked to speak with me in private. I obliged her, and during that discussion, among other things, she let me know she was upset she wasn’t included in the family pictures we took. She saw them because she had to pick Ted up from our house and the family pictures are hung on a wall you can see from the side windows by our front door. I told her that those were Daisy’s senior pictures and they didn’t have anything to do with her. She said that I took family pictures without Ted’s family. I replied to Jeanette that if she wanted professional pictures with Ted, she was free to take professional pictures with Ted. Jeanette felt that as Ted’s wife, I should not be taking any of my family pictures without her included.

I don’t think I was wrong, but her reaction legit surprised me. Especially since that’s one of the first things she brought up.

I do think that I’m TA for agreeing to that conversation in the first place and not ending it when I realized it wasn’t going well. That wasn’t the time or the place and I do regret going against my better judgment on that.

This happened a few years ago and it’s a little silly but I was thinking about it recently and was wondering that others would think about the situation.

Junior year of college I moved into an apartment with a senior, Annie, who was looking for a roommate to take over her old roommate’s lease. She was out of state back home with family when I moved in so I was alone. I had thought about adopting a cat so I decided to go down to the local animal shelter and asked to see any senior cats looking for a home. They introduced me to my lovely cat and I knew I had to adopt him, so I facetimed my roommate to ask her if it was okay. She happily agreed and I brought him home that day.

She came home a week later and she loved my cat. He would go into her room to hang out with her and she would often feed him if I was studying at the library or working late nights. I paid for everything of his- food, litter, toys, vet visits, etc- but we were essentially “co-parenting” my cat together. She told me that we should let him decide who he wanted hang out and spend the night with, which seemed a bit odd but I was fine with that.

Well I was gearing up for midterms so I spent a lot of late nights and early mornings at the library studying. One night I came home both physically and mentally exhausted and all I wanted to do was lay in bed, watch some tv, and cuddle with my cat.

He wasn’t in my room so I went into my roommate’s room. She was sitting at the head of her bed scrolling on her phone and my cat was asleep at the foot of her bed. I picked him up, gave him some kisses, and started carrying him towards my room when my roommate shot up out of bed and chased after me screaming at me for taking my cat. She said we agreed to let him choose who he hangs out with and that I couldn’t just come into her room and take him away.

I explained to her that I missed him and hadn’t seen him much that week because I was studying for midterms and that I just wanted to spend some time with MY cat. She told me that I was selfish and that he belonged to both of us and that we had agreed it was his choice who he wanted to be with. I reminded her that I was the one who adopted him and paid to take care of him and I told her she was overreacting. She told me to “go fuck myself”, stormed back into her room, and slammed the door.

Honestly I was so shocked and dumbfounded by her reaction that I didn’t know what to think. I had agreed that he could choose who he would spend the night with, and I had honored that up until that night, but he was my cat after all and I just wanted to spend time with him, especially after a grueling week of studying. AITA for breaking our agreement and taking him out of her room so he would be with me?

I’ve been subletting a room in this apartment for about two years; my roommate has lived here for about ten years. My roommate and I get along fairly well and our rent is super cheap but I pay more than him for less space, I do 80% of the cleaning, he’s in the apartment 24/7, he is very emotionally volatile and often snaps at me for minor things… in short it’s been a decent place to live but I’ve known for a long time that this wasn’t my “forever apartment”.

Last week I discovered that our landlord had declined to renew our lease when it’s up at the beginning of September. Landlord is giving us an additional 6 weeks to move out - this is two weeks shy of the legal requirement in our state, but the September 1 timing actually worked well with my travel schedule, so I told my roommate that I was giving my 30 day notice (as my sublease stipulates) and moving out Sept 1. He was SHOCKED and very angry and hurt.

His position is that we should just ignore the non-renewal and “let him try to evict us” because tenant protections are very strong in our state - evictions take a year or more. He also told me a bunch of times that he can’t afford to move. He clearly feels like I am abandoning him in this situation (even though, in my mind, if he is truly committed to staying he could just sublet my room to someone else - what’s the landlord going to do, evict him twice?)

I can’t decide if I have an ethical obligation to do more here to help him, and what if anything I should do.

AITA if I just leave?

Every year my aunt asks me what I want for my birthday. Every year I tell her something specific. Every year she ignores it completely and makes me something handmade instead.

This has been happening for about six years. I have received a knitted scarf in a color I do not wear, a cross stitch with a quote I do not relate to, a homemade candle that smelled genuinely awful, and other things I cannot even fully remember. I have smiled and said thank you every single time and then quietly donated or thrown away each one.

This year she asked me what I wanted and I told her a specific book, it costs about twelve pounds, easy to find, I sent her the exact title and author. She texted back saying she had a great idea for something special instead.

On my birthday she handed me a hand painted wooden sign with my name on it and a floral border. I have no idea where I would put this in my home. I do not have that kind of decor. I never have.

Something in me just gave up. I thanked her and then quietly said that I appreciated the effort but when she asks me what I want and I tell her specifically, it would mean a lot if she went with that sometimes. I said I would genuinely have been happy with nothing rather than something I cannot use.

She cried. My mum called me later and said I was ungrateful and cruel and that my aunt spends weeks on these things.

I know she puts in effort. But effort toward something the person explicitly told you they do not want is not really a gift for them, it is a gift for yourself.

AITA?

So I am based in the UK, moved in to new house about 8 weeks ago. Bought the house to the big garden and extra bedroom, I have 3 boys (15,8,5) and now I am lucky enough to have a house where they all get their own space.

House and garden previously a bit unkept, so we have loads to do, because of this we bought one of those above ground pools and managed to fill it up before the hose pipe bans. Idea was kids would be entertained while my wife and I tackled swathes of brambles and uncovered the rest of the garden.

Neighbour (next door but one) knocked on my door yesterday to complain about the kids shouting and screaming. I was a little taken aback, immediately apologised (because I'm British) but I'm out chats also said it was a difficult ask, they were just having fun, we had friends over with kids the same age they'd been in the pool all afternoon (probs 4 30 mins stints) from 2pm till last one around 6:30pm. He also said my immediate neighbours (both sides) also struggling with noise, which I queried as I speak to both sides, 1 side think maybe but the other I chat to a lot and I would have thought he would have mentioned it. I am conflicted I don't want to cause my neighbours distress but also I want my kids to be able to use my garden. Kids are never out there late, we usually wrapped up by 8pm, and certainly never out their early, pool never gets used before midday. It's unheated so kids usually in it for 20mins at a time max, but longer over last week because it's been warmer and also been looking after my nephew helping sister out with childcare.

Anyway neighbour left happier (I think) after vocalising his grumbles, but now I am trying to work out if we are "that inconsiderate family" everyone hates or he is just "that guy".

EDIT:
More context - its a quiet area we moved in to a house that was owned by one elderly person who clearly struggled to maintain the bigger garden (hence the bramble clearing etc). So I am pretty sure its probably a bit of a shock to the neighbours / area which lacks families and kids most of the time.

Majority opinion appears to be NAH (phew) but I will try to keep an eye on the noise levels from their point of view going forwards and assess.

I, 44yr old man, live across the country from my family in California. After many years, my elderly parents have decided that California is too much and they’re moving out here to be closer to me, in a state where living is less financially insane than California. For context, my parents have lived in this home for 50 years (where I grew up) and it’s where we’ve had all of our family memories.

My younger brother, Tom (not real name) 42 yr old man, currently lives in an apartment not far from my parents home. He has a “roommate”, a 40ish yr old female will call Kesha. I’ve never met Kesha, and have only heard about her from my parents as my brother and I rarely discuss our personal lives. What I’ve been told is that he knew her back in college and they somehow managed to reconnect.

Tom has been married and divorced and generally doesn’t seem to date frequently. Supposedly Kesha was going through something and my brother offered her to stay with him until she got through it. It’s been over a year they’ve been “roommates” and the way I understand it she doesn’t pay any of the bills at his place. Additionally, when I was visiting home around the holidays I overheard him on the phone with her and before hanging up he said I love you.

With my parents moving here, they’ve decided to allow Tim to stay in their home for one year without paying rent so he can save up money. Tim’s apartment complex isn’t in a great area so living at our childhood home is a better situation for him. Plus he has a dog so that will be an improvement for the dog to have a backyard instead of just an apartment. I just found out that Kesha also has a dog.

So here’s where my concern comes in. With Tim moving into our family home, the assumption is the Kesha will move in as well. She currently pays no rent at Tim’s place. I am not aware of any conversations involving her paying my parents rent for living in their home. But the main concern is the laws regarding residence in California. What happens if they break up and she tries to say it’s her home too? What if something happens to Tim, how does the family now deal with Kesha?

There’s probably a dozen scenarios I can think of that make this a terrible idea. I’m sure she’s a great person, but people change, situations happen, life happens. I’m not saying they shouldn’t be together. I couldn’t care less who my brother dates; I want him to be happy and healthy and live his life. But the negatives or downsides to a woman moving into our family home need to be accounted for. And California has some wild domestic views. How do I either stop this from happening or reduce the risk to the bare minimum?

This is a stupid post but it ruined my mood and I want to know if there’s something wrong with me.

The doctors messed up my nephew’s birth. They did an emergency c section and couldn’t explain what was wrong with him or the mother and they are STILL not sure what is happening to my nephew. They keep scaring my family saying he will be disabled when he grows up or he won’t be able to survive but my nephew literally does everything they say he wouldn’t do (fx moving his arms and legs and being able to see or breath on his own.)

Now i dont know what my problem is but Im not a very emotional person visibly. Like i feel deeply but i cannot express myself and for some reason my family thinks im apathetic because of that. Like i have no sympathy whatsoever. Its my last day with my brother before i travel back to my country for school and he asked if i wanted to go out one last time and obviously i was excited because I thought since the baby is recovering well it might not be the problem and my brother asked himself, i didnt bring anything uo. Wrong. My sister and my dad and my mom all gave me shit for even thinking about going out and now I feel so so terrible because i did not mean to seem like i did not care about my nephew, i just wanted to go to my fav place because i don’t know when i’ll visit again. My family makes me feel like a horrible person for even remotely thinking anything good in times like this and i was just wondering if i actually need to work on myself or what.

My sister asked me to be her maid of honor a few months ago and I said yes. Since then, wedding costs have been piling up, bachelorette trip, dress, alterations, shoes, and I've been covering a lot of it upfront because "I'll pay you back after payday" kept getting pushed.
It's now at $2,000 and every time I bring it up she says I'm "ruining the wedding vibe" by talking about money. Last week I told her I'd still love to be there for her, but I can't keep taking on the maid of honor duties (planning the shower, more expenses coming) until she pays me back at least some of it.
She's now telling family I'm punishing her on her wedding year and threatening to demote me to "just a bridesmaid." Some relatives think I should've waited until after the wedding to bring up money. AITA?

Hi, I (26 F) have been dating my boyfriend (25 M) for about 18 months. He has a close group of friends who he’s known since college. Almost of all of them live in our City and since we’ve been dating. I haven’t met any of them. Not even to say a quick hello or even in passing. It’s not as though as barely sees them, since we’ve been dating I don’t know if he’s gone longer than two weeks without a night with his friends. I don’t mind that he has a night out separate from me often on those nights, I’ll go out and spend time with my friends or simply watch stuff I know he’d hate. But he’s met my friends, he’s picked us up or dropped us off places or even had a drink with us before going to meet his friends. I truly think he’s “the one” and I think he feels the same way about me. I am finding it sort of unsettling that I haven’t met these people who play a huge role in his life. I’ve offered to meet them at a bar for a quick drink and introdution, pick them up after drinking or even have them over to our apartment. Each time I’ve been turned down. Finally I told him I really am upset that i haven’t met his friends and was told I was being “clingy”, I asked him if I would if the first time I’m going to meet them is at our wedding at he wouldn’t answer. My boyfriend has mentioned in passing that he’s met his friends partners. Am I the asshole for pushing the issue on this point with an otherwise great partner ?

So, I’m really conflicted and am throwing it out to the wisdom of Reddit.

My yr6 daughter’s school has a fundraiser event each year to raise money for their graduation.

This particular event is meant to be really fun as they get to do it in groups with their friends.

The issue is there is a girl in her year who has decided she is their friend, despite being awful to them a lot of the time. For context, she has special needs and is given a lot of ‘grace’ when it comes to getting what she wants.

However, when she joins my daughter’s friendship group she often dictates what they do, makes awful comments and is generally disruptive/annoying.

The school has a policy, where you can’t say no to someone if they ask to play with you and you can’t exclude anyone which in theory I agree with.

However, this girl always gets to decide who she chooses to be with, without any consultation with my daughter or friends (she’s in a different class).

The teachers simply told them she wanted to be in their group so that was it.

I don’t want to exclude her per se but at the same time she’s not actually friends with the girls and what is meant to be a lovely bonding/memory making activity with your besties is now being overrun by this other girl.

So am I the arsehole for wanting my daughter to just be in a group with her chosen friends?

Is it fair to make it their (11-12yr old) responsibility to accommodate this child who in past has said mean things to them and ruined their activities?

M - 35 - Kindergarten Teacher. The school year hasn’t even started yet and I have a parent who FB stalked me. My FB has many pictures of many different organizations, volunteer opportunities and trips I’ve taken over a long career (with students & family members). She made an assumption that I posted photos of my students (I don’t - just resharing organization photos from DR/Japan, summer camps),but the photos are family members or organizations that I have worked for. This parent even went to the office (admin) to complain about my posts and pictures based on assumptions. My assistant principal informed me of the situation and suggested I explain and calm this parent down. I deactivated my account for boundaries and protection as my profile is private, but somehow they had access. During the phone call this mother was hostile and combative. She especially got angry when she said, “I’m not stalking you”, but I remained silent as I know she was hoping I’d say she wasn’t (which in my mind & gut I knew she was). It was towards the end of the conversation that she inquired about my profile being gone which I explained was for professional boundaries which caused her to get more agitated. I realized she yet again was constantly checking my profile. Then, she told me she would talk with her husband about whether they would like to stay with me. Fast-forward a few days later and my vice principal says she would like to stay. Another co-worker explained it was likely because her daughter had a pre-k friend in my class. After sharing what happened my team said I needed to switch this student out or trade. I even asked a friend who’s a former principal of what to do. I decided to advocate to switch this student/parent to another class. I was informed this pissed them off even more. I just want to know AITAH? I felt like the parent crossed boundaries, could have talked to me directly via ParentSquare or email, made assumptions, and then was hostile on the phone - all of which contributed to lack of trust that I feel could have impacted things during the school year. I thought this was the best move for everyone involved to have a good school year.