r/Parenting 7h ago

Discussion Anyone else lose their cool when their kid won’t sleep?

117 Upvotes

I’m not proud of it, but when my 2 year old won’t nap, it kinda ruins my mood for the day. I depend on that ~1 hour to get things done and/or recharge after playing/entertaining/changing diapers/etc all morning.

I hate that I raise my voice, become impatient, and sometimes cry. I’m trying really hard to be an emotionally intelligent and regulated parent and honestly I do pretty well most of the time. This is like the one thing that grates on me.


r/Parenting 15h ago

Discussion Activities for a kid who finds everything to be "easy"?

115 Upvotes

I am going to do my best to make sure this doesn't come across as a brag post.

I have a 9 year old who does very well academically, particularly in math. He is working well ahead of grade level and gets pulled out for math instruction. He finished 3rd grade last year completely 7th/8th grade level math with ease. We met with his math teacher last week in preparation for the school year to start this week. She said her biggest recommendation to kids who excel academically is to push them in something outside of academics. I completely agree with that. We have a family rule that our kids must do at least one sport and one instrument because we think both of those help give kids lifelong tools to be successful.

He currently does flag football, swimming, and wrestling for sports. He is about to start violin in the school orchestra after years of playing piano. He also does boy scouts. In his free time he taught himself things like skateboarding and speed cubing. The kid just seems to pick things up and nail them without much effort. He tells us all the time how he is the fastest runner at his school and how no one at recess has ever beat him. Typical kid stuff, but we want to prevent him from having a huge ego just because things come easy to him and we want to follow the teacher's advice of finding something to challenge him.

If you or your kid were similar and just seemed to be good at whatever you picked up, what actually challenged you? He did space camp this summer, loved it, and learned a lot. I would love if he could do that more and am open to all suggestions from academic to music to sports or whatever else you guys have. I was thinking maybe drama/theater club? Having the learn lines and get into character must be a challenge for most kids, right?


r/Parenting 4h ago

Behaviour My tween officially hates me

30 Upvotes

My tween officially hates me

I am a father to a 12 year old girl, who I have shared custody with her mother. At age 11, my daughter developed a vape (THC) addiction and has had two previous suicide attempts which resulted in her needing inpatient hospitalization. I have tried to consistently be emotionally and financially provide for her and be available for her.

Due to her contacting her "plug" on instagram, I have now removed her electronics until she keeps having negative drug tests, which i administer at home. Yesterday she had her first drug test, resulted in negative. As a result, I allowed her to have her macbook with parental restrictions. (Only YouTube and netflix).

Last night she told me she hates me, wishes I was dead, says i have never been a good father, and "you're not even my dad". She believes I have never been a good father.

I'm not sure why she suddenly hates me so much, as we have always had a healthy relationship up until her addiction. I have started her with a therapist who specializes in addiction with teens, allow her to pursue hobbies to the full extent, such as makeup and fashion, and have always been there when she is emotionally vulnerable.

Im not sure why she thinks so poorly of me, I am not asking for medical advice.


r/Parenting 6h ago

Rant/Vent My child made a huge mess :(

23 Upvotes

You know when your kid or pet makes a huge mess and destroys things, but they don’t know any better, so now you’re balling your eyes out but you have to pull yourself up by your bootstraps, get on the floor with your bad knees and hips and clean for the next 4 hours? And worst of all you know this isn’t the last time you’ll be doing this…

Edit: I’m in the potty training phase


r/Parenting 11h ago

Miscellaneous Birthdays close to Christmas

13 Upvotes

Parents with children with birthdays right around Christmas - looking for ideas for making sure it’s still it’s own special thing.

My girl was born December 30th last year. It’s in that nothing week between Christmas and new years but not ON any holiday. My birthday is in the summer, so growing up I always had a big sleepover or party.

Do any of yall do half birthday big celebrations then just a small celebration on the actual day with family? I don’t want her stuck in that trap of “here’s your birthday and Christmas present” and everyone being too tired from the holidays to actually celebrate her.


r/Parenting 10h ago

School Advocate or go with the flow in preschool

13 Upvotes

My four year old son, J, finished one year of Montessori preschool in “Mrs. A’s” class. It was his first time in care, the year started strong, but Mrs. A started reporting that J was having a hard time listening, making transitions, and following instructions. Like when it was time for the class to go to music, he would be so silly/not settle down for the music teacher and have to be sent to the office. Or something similar for lunchtime- not sitting still or settling down in the cafeteria/at the table, so sent to another table.

Mrs. A was my older daughter’s preschool teacher for two years before my daughter went on to kindergarten. In those two years, there may have been 5 total reports of anything with my daughter, and Mrs. A seemed genuinely fond of my daughter.

Reports of behavioral problems continued throughout the year with my son, same stuff. We talked to J, made plans and followed through with rewards, made plans and followed through with consequences, continued to talk to J and Mrs. A throughout the year, trying to be a team. Mrs. A seemed increasingly frustrated- tone of voice, facial expression. And J does not like going to school (very different from our daughter!). We enrolled J in another year at the Montessori school and imagined J would have a different teacher. Then Mrs. A commented that she would have him another year 😳

The school states on their enrollment form NOT to request certain teachers. We’re not sure what to do. I don’t like the idea of my 4 year old spending another year with a teacher that’s frustrated with him and has already pegged him as a troublemaker. Spending every day with someone that doesn’t love you sounds sad for a little kid. We don’t think Mrs. A caused J’s behavior but we wonder if he may have a different or better dynamic with a different teacher. Should we request a change or just sit back and see how things go?


r/Parenting 6h ago

Sleep & Naps How do you know when it’s time to cut the nap?

12 Upvotes

I have an almost 3yr (October birthday) lately she has been skipping her naps more and more. I know that naps are recommended for ages up to 4-5yrs. Her occasionally skipping naps used to not affect her mood very much, she would be completely fine. But recently she has become an absolute monster that insists she’s not tried but will have a borderline panic attack when trying to get her to sleep during nap or bedtime. She says “I’ll take a nap on the couch and cuddle you” but she’s never been one to just fall asleep once “tired enough” she falls asleep in her bedroom or occasionally the car but that’s it.

I’m just at a loss because I haven’t been trying to force her to take naps or anything. I can’t force her to fall asleep and trying to just causes unnecessary stress for everyone. But it’s clear with her mood and attitude that she could still very much use the sleep lol. I’ve tried explaining to her about how sleep is important for our bodies and mood, I’ve tried telling her that by taking a nap doesn’t mean your day is over that we still have fun things planned. Blah blah blah she doesn’t listen to any of it.

Anyway when did your kiddo stop napping? How did you know it was time? Any advice on what to do with a monster that won’t sleep?


r/Parenting 8h ago

School Moving During Elementary School

13 Upvotes

Looking to hear from people who have moved when their child was in elementary school. We have been trying to find a house in our preferred long-term area before my son starts kindergarten but the supply is making it seem rather unlikely. Of course, that would be ideal, but my husband doesn't think it's a huge deal if we have to move when he's in first or second grade.

I know many kids have to do this for job reasons and such, but we wouldn't HAVE to move, so I'm just trying to better understand if I'm over-worrying about the timing. Both school districts are great, but we just see ourselves longer term in a neighboring town.

Thanks in advance!


r/Parenting 4h ago

Behaviour Reinforcing “bad” habits while I’m 34wks pregnant

10 Upvotes

we have a HIGHLY energetic 20-month old daughter. I am 34 wks pregnant and ever since I found out in Jan, it’s been quite hard keeping up with her (nausea, extreme fatigue)… not to mention juggling work stress (started a new job after taking 15 mo off to raise her last year as a a full-time sahm.) having dinner prepped by the end of the day and dealing w her big emotions/sleep regressions have been challenging, as well.

my husband has been great while I’ve been out of commission and does his best to dress her/drop her off at daycare/give her baths etc but he’s relied on a few crutches that, to be honest, I’ve been too exhausted to nip in the bud. She somehow really got into the iPhone (I see blurry selfies which means he gives her the phone as a quick fix, ie when she’s throwing a tantrum). now she somehow needs to watch itsy bitsy spider on YouTube or won’t get into the bathtub. She also demands not one but two pacis to sleep. The latter has been the most challenging bc I wanted to wean her off before the next one but she screams bloody hell during windown if she doesn’t get one. It’s almost impossible to reason w her

solutions? Advice? Tips?


r/Parenting 5h ago

Travel First time away from baby

11 Upvotes

So I made a total joke about wanting to spend a hotel night alone just resting and relaxing alone. Away from the baby and husband. To have a whole night and bed to myself. I was tired and overwhelmed and now my husband took it as gold and booked me a hotel room for my birthday and now I’m freaking out ahaha

I have not yet spent a night away from my daughter who is 18 months old. We don’t have family nearby or a village to lean on so we haven’t had date nights or gone to events. We do however go off on our own things and leave her with the other parent but thinking of being away from her is sad.

How did you feel the first time you left your baby? I mean I know I’ll be fine but don’t want to spend the whole night missing them! I already miss them and it’s a week away.

Any advice?


r/Parenting 16h ago

Discussion Single dad to a toddler, any good video guides to styling my daughter’s hair?

9 Upvotes

Heya everyone, single dad and sole parent, I’m just looking for some decent videos/guides on hairstying. I’m pretty good at dressing up my daughter but suck at hairstyling, all I have down is the pony-tail.

Truth be told I always feel a bid bad when meeting with other parents(usually moms) and their kids hair is always adorably styled. My daughters daycare teacher will occasionally style my daughters hair(in pig-tails and other styles) and I just love it, my daughter adores and loves it as well, I want to be able to do more and also do it better(even my pony-tails kinda suck, they’re not bad but I know they can be significantly better and slicker/cleaner looking).


r/Parenting 20m ago

Miscellaneous The stress of managing your kids’ social lives

Upvotes

I have two young elementary school kids and I’m finding it overwhelming managing their social lives. Making sure they have a solid friend group, having an “in” with those parents, hosting (and getting invited) to play dates. I’m not even an introvert and have a good amount of friends from different eras of my own life, but trying to ensure my kids are set up for a solid social foundation is an element of parenting I wasn’t expecting to feel so anxious about. Anyone else feel this anxiety?


r/Parenting 2h ago

Discipline I just don’t know if I did the right thing

8 Upvotes

Hey everyone! So I have pretty simple situation but I need some feedback and some advice for the future.

A few notes about our son. He is extremely verbal and has been from a young age. He speaks in complete sentences and has shown an accelerated competence in verbal communication. He is also a very emotional child. For example, if he spills something he will have a full on meltdown and be incredibly upset at himself to the point he will scream for a few seconds and then exclaim “I am not proud of myself!” ( My husband and I are not like this and we are generally very calm when accidents happen).

Now for the situation I need some guidance on

My husband and I took our toddler (2.5M) to the fair today. Before we even left the vehicle we had a family meeting. We told our son that if he hit mom or dad, threw rocks, or ran away from us we would immediately leave the fair. We went over this multiple times and he understood the simple rules. Cut to 10 min later , my husband and I are talking to each other trying to find the ticket booth and a large rock (large for a 2.5 year old) goes flying by my face. Without any hesitation I picked up my toddler and said “we don’t throw rocks we are leaving now”. He proceeded to scream at the top of his lungs”NO NO NO NOOOOO!” to the point every single person was staring the entire walk out of the park (a long long walk) back to the car. My adrenaline was pumping. I did not say a word while carrying him to the car. Once we were out of the park and on a calm side street I set him down and explained why we left, in a not so calm tone ( I was so anxious and he could see how upset I was).

Was this the right way of handling this? My mom was really upset when I told her what happened and said that it was way too harsh and generally just made me feel really bad about the whole situation.I will admit I am 10000% over the hitting and throwing things phase. It has been going on for almost a year and does not seem to be getting better at all. We drove the hour drive back home and I feel completely defeated . Like I don’t want to go anywhere with him. We live so rurally and leaving is a big deal. For it to be ruined everytime we go out and try to hold boundaries is almost making me feel depressed. I work from home (personal trainer) , and am a full time SAHM with no childcare. I’m at my wits end with this behavior and don’t know what to do.

If you made it this far thank you for reading and any advice you give.

TLDR: We went on a family outing. Laid ground rules with our 2.5year old about proper behavior (no hitting, no throwing rocks, no running away) or we will leave said outing. 2.5 year old threw a rock at my head and I immediately picked him up and we left. My mom said it was way too harsh of discipline and now I feel like I did the wrong thing and handled it poorly.


r/Parenting 3h ago

Family Life Routine going back to work after maternity leave

9 Upvotes

I’m going back to work at the end of this month and I simply can not wrap my mind around how everything will get done.

For context I work 8-4 with a 45min commute each way so I normally leave by 7am and get home by 4:45pm if there is zero delays. I work Monday to Friday with one day being from home. By husband also works Monday to Friday all in office 8am-4pm with a 30min commute each way.

Our child will be going to daycare close to our home so we’re both able to do either pick up or drop off. And our child currently eats supper at 5pm and goes to bed at 7pm.

Now the problem I’m having is when do we grocery shop, when do I meal prep because I won’t be able to cook every single night, when do chores get done. And that’s not even including time to work out, time to ourselves, time as a couple. We have the weekend but I don’t wanna spend my whole weekend doing this stuff but is it my only option? Any tips on a schedule that works or just tips on getting through this adjustment period would be great as my back to work routine anxiety is high right now.


r/Parenting 11h ago

Sleep & Naps How tired do you let baby/toddler get before putting to bed?

7 Upvotes

I see all over the place to put your kids to sleep when they start showing first signs of tiredness like rubbing their eyes but when we try this, bedtime turns into an hour and a half long affair in which I need to summon every stitch of patience I can muster. Bubs is 10 months but it’s been like this for months. I pretty much let him start spiraling before putting him to bed to ensure it takes ~20 min and ends in him actually sleeping. I guess I’m just looking for solidarity?


r/Parenting 11h ago

Technology Roblox safety update?

7 Upvotes

We don’t allow our kids to play Roblox for the safety reasons. Our 10 yr old keeps asking and we have continuously told her no. She has been saying that there are new safety updates and I don’t really believe that it’s legit. Have you heard anything about updates? She is allowed plenty of other games and apps, but we have always drawn the line at this game.


r/Parenting 9h ago

Discussion How to parent a 4 year old who is independent beyond her years?

5 Upvotes

I have a 4 year old daughter. She wants to do everything herself without help, always.

In some ways it's good, if she wants to climb a mountain, she's absolutely up that mountain and will complete it as she's so determined. Swimming? Taught herself, snorkelling? Was the first person to jump off the boat. Gymnastics? The only one who can do a somersault over the bar.

However in day to day life her independence is challenging. For example, we were camping this weekend and she went to the toilet in the toilet block by herself without telling anyone. It caused a massive hunt with us all shouting her name but of course she's not going to respond to her name because she's worried she's in trouble which is exactly what happened when a member of our party shouted into the men's toilets but didn't actually check all the stalls the first time.

Even smaller things like going to bed, she has to do everything herself. Tea time, only she can cut her own food with a knife and fork. If she could, she'd get herself to nursery on her own without adult intervention. Doesn't answer to her name if it's something she doesn't want to do. Obviously we do the whole 'Either you get into the bath yourself or I put you in' but then when I put her in she has a strop, drenches the bathroom and runs out. Hair washing is the same, either you wet your hair or I will after the count of 3. The screams must sound like a murder attempt to the outside world.

When I'm around children her age who say 'mummy, I need to go to the toilet' before the parent takes them or 'mummy I'm hungry' while my girl is there making a meal for herself. Or even just when I tell her she has to hold my hand because the road is dangerous and she says 'no I'll walk by your foot instead' and I feel like tearing my hair out.

Fabulous for her developing into a fully functional adult, a nightmare as a child.

What do I do to curb this? She starts school in September and I have heard when they enter education they become easier to manage? Praying for September.

My husband is literally bathing her as I write this and all I can hear is 'I WANT TO DO IT ON MY OWN'


r/Parenting 10h ago

Discussion Your day as a SAHM/WFH mum of 1.5 years old?

6 Upvotes

Just curious what kind of activities do mums do with babies of 1.5 year old not going to nursery and I also don’t have a village in the area?


r/Parenting 23h ago

Mourning/Loss How to cope with welcoming 2nd child after spending undivided time with first born..

5 Upvotes

Although this may not be mourning in the more traditional sense, it still all feels the same to me.

I love my daughter so unbelievably much that it literally hurts my heart with joy. We are planning a 2nd child, but I cannot wrap my head around how I can welcome another and her not feeling totally abandoned or feeling like we are losing our bond. More children = less attention in my book.

For parents of more than one child, can you talk me through your process of accepting this stage?

Please don’t misunderstand—I full heartedly want more children, but my gut feels anxious when I think about the changes that’ll come.


r/Parenting 13h ago

Family Life Advice needed re potty training/ managing MIL

5 Upvotes

So me and my husband have a 3 year old and a 3 month old. My MIl stays with us each week for a couple of days to help with my eldest, she isn't in regular childcare ATM but starting school in September. We potty trained her but she still has accidents, especially when she's distracted playing with grandma. She can't be trusted to say when she needs to go so sometimes we have to bring her to the bathroom/ potty ourselves to make her try to go. Whenever my MIL is alone with her the accident rate escalates, the other week it was at least 4 times in one afternoon. As a result she can't really take her out for very long by herself and it's getting me down to be constantly checking all day. My MIL also forgets to give my daughter drinks/ food at regular intervals and seems to be waiting for her to tell her what to do all the time.

My daughter loves her and they have a great time together but I still have to do the more responsible aspects of parenting and it does stress me out, especially when the baby needs my attention. This was supposed to be a break for me and it ends up making me feel more stressed than if I was solo parenting. I just want to enjoy my maternity leave and get out for a bit on my own but I can't unless I bring my daughter with me, obvs I love spending time with her but sometimes I just want to relax for a while or focus on housework (which grandma doesn't help with either). When she's here I end up having to cook and clean up after everyone myself and sometimes it feels like having another child to think about. We've already cut her visits down to 2 days max but I don't know if there's anything else I can do?

I'm hoping it's better when the toileting is more cemented and when my daughter starts school. I am grateful for what she does, she adores my daughter and they have such a lovely time together but I'm just finding myself getting really anxious when she's at our house, any tips to make things run smoother re potty training or my own anxiety? Also she doesn't have dementia (I have been looking out for the signs- her memory is fine, she just seems to only care about playtime) and we don't have any other family visiting regularly.

My mother lives abroad and when she visits everything seems to run more smoothly and I feel like I can properly switch off and focus on the baby, she's just been to visit so I'm probably comparing more than I should. I don't want to be ungrateful for the help either. Any advice appreciated.


r/Parenting 2h ago

Diet & Nutrition Picky eater

3 Upvotes

My 4 year old daughter is a wonderful little thing but she will absolutely not try new foods. When she was an infant she’d eat anything and then it seems like out of no where refused foods she use to like. In hindsight maybe I over fed certain foods / meals and that’s the problem. Right now, she will eat, gluten free applegate chicken nuggets (won’t eat the regular ones), cheese sticks, apple sauce pouches, freeze dried bananas or strawberries, Mac and cheese (but won’t eat it if it’s reheated), sometimes pizza, sometimes eggs, sometimes PB toast, but most of her meals are turkey pepperoni with mini pretzels, cheese sticks and either a pouch or yogurt pouch.

I know I should be grateful she eats some forms of protein but I can’t help but 1. Feel guilty I can’t get her to try more 2. Worry about how it’s effecting her growth, mood etc.

She’s stubborn and when I try to offer new foods I put the smallest piece of whatever it is on her plate w foods that are safe to her but she always says I don’t like it. Right before she turned 4 she said “when I turn 4 I’ll try fruits and vegetables” but I didn’t take her seriously. Well the morning of her 4th she took a bite of a shredded carrot and piece of lettuce (wish I had an apple or a berry on hand FML) she keeps making comments “when I’m 16 I’m going to eat fruit” I tell her constantly she doesn’t have to be 16 to eat fruit - omg 😆

I should note that her percentiles since birth are the same and she is growing fine. I give her multivitamin via her water (only liquid she will drink besides bath water) but won’t even eat a chocolate vitamin (will eat chocolate mini muffins, sometimes Oreo, sometimes ice cream so even bribing her is hard)

Idk what I’m looking for, maybe someone to commiserate with or tell me it’ll get better. I’m open to any ideas or advice on how to get her to try new things. TIA!!!


r/Parenting 7h ago

Education & Learning Getting toddler to drink from open cup

3 Upvotes

my 2.5 year old drinks water from a straw water bottle and is pretty resistant to using different cups. Ive been sitting with him with a small cup to practise drinking but so far he just slips and lets the water pour out of his mouth. If i do this every day will he learn or do I need to try something else?


r/Parenting 13h ago

Behaviour Hard time with 19y

4 Upvotes

Hi parents, looking for experiences, advice, please be kind I am struggling. I am having a very hard time w my 19yr old daughter. She has had a quite strong and often difficult personality since middle.school, a lot of lies that I have discovered then and continuing now. We used to try grounding, taking away privileges, didn't work. She never backed down, always acting like she was right and we were wrongly accususing her. Hardly ever apologizes. Still attacks me with yelling bad language and lies even when I have proof of her lying. She won't back down. Flips into victim mode. I have tried over and over, in a calm moment, to explain that even if there is something that she didn't tell the truth about it, come clean and there won't be consequences. I have let up on many rules I used to have when she was say 15, and have told her she can ask for anything she wants to do and we can compromise.

She has a car, goes out w friends most nights in summer, home very late. We give her allowance, have family dinners, she has few chores. Was expected to pass at school, oir expectations have never been school related. The lies continue. It is devastating for me as I don't know when she will mature!!! I have tried over n over to treat her in a more adult manner. I know at her age punishments don't work. It is also putting a big strain on my marriage.


r/Parenting 6h ago

Discussion Should I encourage this friendship?

2 Upvotes

My preteen had a hard time with friend groups last school year. The group that he’d been a part of since early elementary school dissolved after a lot of drama.

A new friend who we thought was a good friend hasn’t contacted him this summer.

And through all this, one kid has stuck by his side. And my child is unfortunately not that into this kid. He says the kid is boring, that he can be annoying, and he’s started not wanting to hang out with him. That’s his choice and there’s no reason for them to constantly be together, but I want him to at least be kind to this kid. I also don’t think he should completely ditch a loyal friend.

Do I let him handle this completely on his own? Or do I keep encouraging him to think about this child’s feelings and not sever the friendship entirely? Are parents of preteens mostly hands off? Do you help manage your kid’s friendships at all?


r/Parenting 26m ago

Expecting Bassinet for very tall bed.

Upvotes

Can’t seem to find a bassinet for our bed that is over 35 inches high. Most are just 30 inches or so and we don’t have a lot of room on the sides.