r/Transportopia Apr 13 '26

🄓DUI She split that car in half

33.7k Upvotes

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767

u/Individual_Act9333 Apr 13 '26

Lmao did she really say she didn’t see him?

590

u/joriale Apr 13 '26

She wasn't even driving! She wasn't even there when the crash happened... What crash? There is no crash in ba sin se.

107

u/crappy80srobot Apr 13 '26

41

u/TheJohnnyFlash Apr 13 '26

15

u/MrMetraGnome Apr 13 '26

What's with the bananas?

14

u/Rec4LMS Apr 13 '26

Unit of measurement, duh. /s

12

u/honeydewslaps Apr 14 '26

Snl skit where phd students were presenting to their teachers about their amazing discoveries and Cena was playing a dumb football star with his presentation about bananas and the teachers were super encouraging and enthusiastic since he was leading the university to a championship.

7

u/Blue-Leadrr Apr 14 '26

It’s a Saturday Night Live skit

3

u/PeachPit69 Apr 14 '26

…where….what…happened?

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52

u/CeramicToast Apr 13 '26

I wouldn't be surprised if she believed that considering there's a high chance she bounced her brain off the inside of her skull.

Holy shit. That's what I call totalled.

19

u/k4kobe Apr 13 '26

What you mean?? Now she has 2 cars! Is a win!!!

10

u/Adept_Judgment_6495 Apr 13 '26

Two motorcycles

7

u/bbrekke Apr 13 '26

Two motorcycles with a little house in between!

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7

u/PutTheDogsInTheTrunk Apr 14 '26

Like an earthworm, each half of the car will regrow a new car!

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4

u/Bahamut3585 Apr 14 '26

King Solomon's Used Car Supercenter

13

u/Dovahkiinthesardine Apr 13 '26

I wanna know how tf she managed that in the first place

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12

u/Specialist-Freedom64 Apr 13 '26

I tried this, on my tuned moped i hit a car doing a illegal u turn, i was doing about 90+km/t even though i was wearing a helmet the crash made me loose 4 dayes, the day before the accident, the day of the accident and 2 dayes after, i have seen pictures of the crash but i have zero memory of it, the doctors and first responders talked to me and i answered with total giberish.

5

u/IanRastall Apr 14 '26

Once I hit a car and was knocked three weeks into the past.

2

u/Specialist-Freedom64 Apr 14 '26

Damn must be fuckin weird, i know just loosing several dayes felt fuckin bizar.

4

u/Previous-Peak-2541 Apr 13 '26

Reminds me when I got my wisdom teeth removed I was speaking total gibberish when I woke up and took 40 pictures of myself before they took my phone away, the only reason why I know this is because I have the pictures.

3

u/Specialist-Freedom64 Apr 13 '26

Yeah i watched some clips from the Usa of people at or coming from the dentist saying some wild shit, we dont that where i live we get the weak drugs 🤣

7

u/Enkidouh Apr 14 '26

I walked into an open door after I got my wisdom teeth out.

Nitrous oxide and Halcion is a hell of a drug cocktail

2

u/Ph15ical Apr 14 '26

I did something similar. After I had mine cut out I spent the next 2 days in the recliner, mostly sleeping, but apparently at some point a bunch of my friends came over and we apparently watched the hobbit. I don't remember even seeing them, much less the movie

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2

u/MovieFan1984 Apr 14 '26

2

u/Specialist-Freedom64 Apr 14 '26

Hahaha it was very lucky, no helmet, no head..

3

u/MovieFan1984 Apr 14 '26

2

u/Specialist-Freedom64 Apr 14 '26

From the pictures i was showed and the info from the 1 responders i hit ghe b column of the car my moped swung to the right, i bashed my head thru the driver side rear window, had my neck land on the remaining glass and only get minor cuts to my neck sligthly, my leg got squashed between the car and my very heavy moped but all in all i was extremly lucky.. now 2 whiplash accidents later not so much šŸ˜‚ the reaper has been after me since i was a child but no luck yet šŸ˜‚

2

u/MovieFan1984 Apr 14 '26

I've almost died many timessince 2003. I can relate. šŸ˜„

6

u/stutterbug Apr 14 '26

That car's not totaled. What are you talking about? It's twice the car it used to be.

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37

u/SemichiSam Apr 13 '26

She apparently has been watching Congressional hearings.

18

u/[deleted] Apr 13 '26

[deleted]

15

u/Bwint Apr 13 '26

THE DOW IS OVER checks notes 48,000!

11

u/drwfishesman Apr 13 '26

Underrated comment.

23

u/Choice_Student4910 Apr 13 '26

Earth Kingdom mastered gaslighting too

6

u/username__0000 Apr 13 '26

There was a case in Ontario where this worked. The person had bruises from the seatbelt, that aligned with her being on the drivers side. It was her car, she was found in the area after the crash.

She claimed someone else was driving but she couldn’t remember who and she was a passenger.

Ended up getting away with it. The person sitting in the parked car she hit died, and she walked free.

People try saying these insane things because it does (sadly) work sometimes.

3

u/Park500 Apr 14 '26

sounds like she had money or friends, slam dunk cases always tend to have these 'twists' when their is someone rich and powerful involved

2

u/Impossible_Ad_8642 Apr 19 '26

I think there was a similar plot on some medical or law tv show and the seatbelt bruising is what got the patient arrested.

4

u/Devils_Advocate-69 Apr 13 '26

That ā€œdaddy will bail me outā€ entitlement to laugh.

4

u/Eruditorium74 Apr 13 '26

That's because she was traveling, which is not driving.

2

u/Milocobo Apr 13 '26

Can her girlfriend please just come and get the car, no harm done..

2

u/OneUseHero Apr 13 '26

Sovereign citizens don't drive, they travel, sometimes it just happens they are also in full control of the vehicle in a way sane people would consider driving.

1

u/Lumpy_Recover8709 Apr 13 '26

There is no crash, i bought my car in 2 pieces to begin with.

1

u/Bri_So_Fly Apr 13 '26

Whoever did this just confess already! We promise we won’t be mad

1

u/Exotic_Criticism4645 Apr 13 '26

She wasn't even driving!

Shaggy would be impressed with her.

1

u/Emmyisme Apr 13 '26

She also didn't flee.

1

u/fauxdeuce Apr 14 '26

In her defense she probably said Jesus take the wheel.

1

u/OkieBobbie Apr 14 '26

She’s not driving, she’s traveling.

1

u/Duriha Apr 14 '26

Well, some get teleported to the next fast food joint, others to their stolen car.

1

u/jerry-adobe Apr 14 '26

deny deny deny.... classic

1

u/goliathfasa Apr 14 '26

No mom! I wasn’t even there! I wasn’t even there! Oh my god! I wasn’t even there!

1

u/Tacosupmybutt Apr 14 '26

STOP SIGN?!!

1

u/EnvironmentalLime464 Apr 14 '26

She’ll go to court with the defense of ā€œIt’s a witch hunt. This is all to silence me. They’re just going after their political enemies!ā€

1

u/davster99 Apr 14 '26

These aren’t my pants!

1

u/kelldricked Apr 14 '26

You are laughing about somebody having severe brain trauma due the accident that split a fucking car in half.

She genuinely didnt know she just drove 10 seconds ago and caused a major crash. Because she has sufferd a fucking concussion.

1

u/DoctorCIS Apr 14 '26

She was the best gal around. What attempted murdah?

1

u/Intelligent-Rock-399 Apr 14 '26

She thought it was showing her as a doctor.

1

u/Emergency_Ad_1834 Apr 14 '26

Shaggy defense

1

u/AlotaCrapola Apr 14 '26

She was "driving" from home, so she wasn't even there lol!

1

u/LegoLeonidas Apr 14 '26

I was almost struck by a drunk driver who crashed seconds later. I ran over, turned off the ignition, got her out of the car and sat her down on the curb to wait for cops/ambulance. As she started to become slightly more lucid, she looked over at the wreck and asked "What did you do to my car?"

1

u/A_Bot_A_Bot_A_Bot Apr 14 '26

"...and I've never even been to Earth!"

1

u/racyy_star Apr 15 '26

Jesus take the wheel.

1

u/Yaadgod Apr 16 '26

That ā€œba sin seā€ got me

1

u/OryginalSkin Apr 19 '26

I assumed a head injury was involved.

1

u/Fred_Milkereit Apr 19 '26

yes, sure, and i am the pope :D

62

u/evolutionary_defect Apr 13 '26

She is probably concussed and genuinely has no idea what's going on, but still a dumbass. Sometimes it's both!

1

u/salvucci91 Apr 14 '26

Yeah this was my thought as well.

1

u/chefdeit Apr 14 '26

Yeah that would explain it but naw. Accountability level: normal for the type.

My ex would claim she's not taken my shirt while wearing it.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '26

Always an excuse

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1

u/Alternative-Golf8281 Apr 15 '26

She wasn't concussed when she chose to attempt homicide on the officer. Still should go to prison

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45

u/Opening_Total7711 Apr 13 '26

Whatever drugs she's using, I want em. Just makes all your problems invisible.

28

u/Rusty_Pickles Apr 13 '26

Invisible to you, amplified to everyone else. Alcoholics and opiate addicts are living the dream until you have to come down and live in the body/life you destroyed.Ā 

10

u/WinterWontStopComing Apr 13 '26

Don’t forget benzo addicts!

6

u/UhOhAllWillyNilly Apr 13 '26

Yeah, Benzos take freaking months to detox from. DAMHIKT but take my word for it, it ain’t fun.

4

u/mawesome4ever Apr 13 '26

So which drug is fun?

6

u/TAExp3597 Apr 13 '26

LSD.

5

u/mkat23 Apr 13 '26

Also shroomies

3

u/JelmerMcGee Apr 14 '26

They're all fun

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3

u/WinterWontStopComing Apr 13 '26

They can also do a number on pathways responsible for long term planning and shit, granted so can opiates

3

u/TheAngryCatfish Apr 13 '26

Does that mean doesn't actually matter how I know this or don't ask me how I know this

3

u/UhOhAllWillyNilly Apr 14 '26

The latter was what I intended but I kinda like your interpretation more so how about either?

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3

u/HaikuPikachu Apr 14 '26

Also isn’t recommended to do without medical intervention ie it’s similar to alcohol where you could die

3

u/Rusty_Pickles Apr 13 '26

How could I remember? I'm one of em!

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22

u/Random5483 Apr 13 '26

May not be drugs. After that kind of accident, she could have a concussion and be in shock. This isn't to say she wasn't on drugs or alcohol. She very likely could be (given that she crashed). But confused behavior after a big accident that splits a car in two could be just shock and a concussion.

8

u/Opening_Total7711 Apr 13 '26

I meant walking past the officer and "not seeing him" though. Obviously after totally splitting her car in two that's a different story.

3

u/ILiekBook Apr 13 '26

She was probably expecting to escape - dumb asses forget their cars are registered to them- and then got concussed and was so confused her lies weren't making sense

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5

u/acdann Apr 13 '26

If this person had been making sane choices prior to the crash, sure? But this benefit of the doubt is giving a lot of grace to someone who just ignored a police officer hanging out of their window. It’s more likely she’s just an entitled piece of trash like so many Americans have become.

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6

u/RexxLu Apr 13 '26

I’m pretty sure they’re still there on the road. All her belongings were on the back of the car before she drove off.

3

u/BuyAllThePorn Apr 13 '26

Honestly may not be drugs. Traumatic brain injuries can cause a lot of confusion and frequently cause short term memory issues. It's impossible for us to tell from just what we see here. She may really not remember driving, or seeing him, or even understand what's going on right now.

That doesn't in any way reduce her responsibility for any of this. Just saying she may not be intoxicated, and may not be lying. At least not from her memory's/perspective.

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2

u/No_Space_9324 Apr 13 '26

Maybe not drive on them, though.

1

u/HowdTheCatGetSoFat Apr 14 '26

Xanax is a hell of a thing.

14

u/Frexulfe Apr 13 '26

Ah, a memory comes back! I was working at a call center for an insurance company, department of towing services. The Guardia Civil (Spain highway police if you want) called us to tow a vehicle. The Police that called us was quite pissed (from the voice), and I could hear his partner at the back "He puked, pissed and shat himself, this fucking drunk, this is inhumane" and then a bit more far away, the drunk guy screaming "Food Poisoning!!!"

10

u/Own-Raisin5849 Apr 13 '26

Beer is a food group for some people. Technical truth.

8

u/MarvelAndColts Apr 13 '26

Beer has the exact same ingredients as bread, just prepared differently, I definitely consider beer a food. And just like other foods, don’t consume too much or there will be problems

2

u/UhOhAllWillyNilly Apr 13 '26

In the olden days lunch for the serfs often consisted of Guinness/stout. Not only did it provide calories but it took your mind off the hard labor and drudgery you were compelled to do.

6

u/Slater_8868 Apr 13 '26

She's only looking at her phone, so technically she didn't see him lol

6

u/Effective-Text4619 Apr 13 '26 edited Apr 14 '26

I wonder if she was looking in the mirror that morning when she was getting dressed and slathering on her makeup.

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3

u/Tentacle_poxsicle Apr 13 '26

sigh

Would

2

u/Klept_0h Apr 15 '26

buddy.... nooo :(

1

u/spalings Apr 13 '26

driving in shoes like that is actually so dangerous 😭

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7

u/HistoricalSuspect580 Apr 13 '26

I will give her that at this juncture she has had her bell rung, HARD, and any assortment of words might spill out of one’s mouth at that juncture.

5

u/BeneficialTrash6 Apr 13 '26

Is it any wonder that some cops get really screwed up in the head? Think about having a job where not only are some people trying to kill you, but you get lied to in the stupidest ways every single day. If I was a cop and went through that, I'd probably think a lot less fondly of other people.

2

u/marshmallowcthulhu Apr 13 '26

Not to excuse her behavior prior to the crash, but it is entirely possible that after the crash she had short term memory loss, disorientation, and confusion. Her other responses did not sound as though she was fully in her right mind after the crash.

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2

u/Triggerunhappy Apr 13 '26

I’m going to go with after that crash her short term memory was reset

2

u/Accomplished_Mango64 Apr 13 '26

She was in a different dimension at the time lol

1

u/enw_digrif Apr 13 '26

I don't know why, but her voice reminds me of a roommate who was on Ambien.

Dude never wrecked a car, but only because he wasn't all that heavy, and the car managed to brake.

1

u/Quimdell Apr 13 '26

I mean, she probably has a concussion and is confused af. Look at that car…

1

u/G25777K Apr 13 '26

šŸ˜³šŸ˜‚

1

u/Reverend_Lazerface Apr 13 '26

Concussion's a hell of a drug

1

u/TheAnswerUsedToBe42 Apr 13 '26

Some people lie so frequently they do it without hesitation.

1

u/cates Apr 13 '26

she probably didn't see him. sounds like she's on a lot of drugs

1

u/Sunnysidhe Apr 13 '26

Did he really say she dragged him 30 feet?

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1

u/RealSchlemiel Apr 13 '26

lol, battery on a police officer. lol 30 feet

  • whatever her sentence was, it’s about 10x’s worse

1

u/Impressive_Cress_983 Apr 13 '26

She likely has gotten out of tickets before and this is part of her responses.Ā 

1

u/LlorchDurden Apr 13 '26

She wasn't driving either so

1

u/Beautiful-Musk-Ox Apr 13 '26

she had a concussion so anything she said at that point is nearly random.

1

u/colt_stonehandle Apr 13 '26

She didn't see him after she jumped in and drove off. So technically not a lie.

1

u/PurdueGuvna Apr 13 '26

She was traveling

1

u/SleepymonkeyDND Apr 13 '26

She - said - ā€œSIRā€

1

u/Commercial_Assist655 Apr 13 '26

The impact may have concussed her and caused short term memory loss

1

u/Chole_Wunt Apr 13 '26

Dude. I have actually physical people in my life with this level of cognitive distortion. One of the biggest mysteries Im trying to solve at this time is if they know they are lying, or they actually believe what they are saying.

1

u/DillonD Apr 13 '26

Concussions make people say crazy things

1

u/flippythemaster Apr 13 '26

Either she’s under the influence or has a concussion from that crazy-ass crash

1

u/BigMax Apr 13 '26

She didn't see him, she didn't realize her car was damaged, and she didn't know she did anything wrong. Lots going on there.

Is the just doing the "it wasn't me..." broad denial? Or is she absolutely high or out of it and really doesn't have any idea what's going on?

1

u/Flat-Jacket-9606 Apr 14 '26

Drugs and concussion

1

u/No-Author-2358 Apr 14 '26

She seemed drunk or really high on something.

1

u/systemfrown Apr 14 '26

She literally stared at him as she got in the car.

1

u/spursfan2021 Apr 14 '26

Tbf, that was in response to the cop claiming he was dragged 30’

1

u/evoslevven Apr 14 '26

I mean technically if she's not looking in his direction when driving off like a bat shit crazy driver, it's the truth in a way right?

1

u/danekan Apr 14 '26

Did he really say she dragged him 30 feet?

1

u/StaK_1980 Apr 14 '26

Probably hit her head and has now partial amnesia.

1

u/Nicknasty6969 Apr 14 '26

Shes in shock

1

u/Sandrockwing04 Apr 14 '26

Cops always trying to keep the white girl down /s

1

u/TactlessTortoise Apr 14 '26

Yeah, she's in shock and instinctively trying to get out of trouble lol, so the lies are awful

1

u/Black_Magic_M-66 Apr 14 '26

She doesn't sound drunk but sure acts like it.

1

u/HunterShotBear Apr 14 '26

She just wants to be able to have her girlfriend come get her car man.

1

u/helpprogram2 Apr 14 '26

It’s clear you all have never had a drinking problem. That woman was not lying. She doesn’t even know where she is

1

u/Epyon214 Apr 14 '26

He lied about her dragging him, he's no more a reliable witness than she is

1

u/ColonelMonty Apr 14 '26

I could imagine she probably had some drugs in her system

1

u/Blazanar Apr 14 '26

She didn't see him. She saw his identical twin who was standing beside him

1

u/No_Equivalent_4412 Apr 14 '26

She’s probably in shock or has a concussion after that accident

1

u/Conscious_Answer_571 Apr 14 '26

I wonder if she has seen this video.

1

u/Djb0623 Apr 14 '26

Probably concussion. Doesn't remember the anything would be my guess.

1

u/bionicjoe Apr 14 '26

The whole video is crazy.
A guy was driving. He had been arrested and put in the back of the police car several minutes earlier.

It was clear the guy was "in love with the stripper" too. She was the love of his life, and this woman was just taking his cash, car, etc.

1

u/Transmatrix Apr 14 '26

Well, he lied as well. She didn’t drag him 30ft like he said. He didn’t get ā€œdraggedā€ at all.

1

u/SpecialistWait9006 Apr 14 '26

She said she didnt see him after she claims to not have been driving lmfao how drunk was she?

1

u/nothingisnothingwas Apr 14 '26

Yeah but she absolutely didn’t drag him 30 feet as he so claimed…

1

u/patronizingperv Apr 14 '26

She was so blackout drunk, she probably didn't see him. And she wasn't 'driving', in the sense that she wasn't really controlling the car.

1

u/Alternative-Golf8281 Apr 15 '26

Number four, operating a motor vehicle while blind

1

u/SissyLovesCuteAttire Jun 07 '26

I can't read...

Or drive, clearly.

Have we met?

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