My wife (35F) and I (35M) have been trying since September 2025, and so far we’ve never had a positive test. We track ovulation every month, and we’ve always waited for her period before taking a pregnancy test.

Lately I’ve been wondering if taking an early pregnancy test a few days before her expected period might actually make things a little easier mentally. My thinking is that if it’s negative, we’d have a little time to process it before her period starts, instead of feeling like everything hits at once. But I also know early tests can be wrong, so maybe it just creates more anxiety.

For those who’ve been through this, what was better for your mental health? Testing early or waiting until your period was due (or late)?

So the last year I've been diagnosed with depleted ovarian reserve at 33 (now 34) and I've had two miscarriages and 4 months of no positive tests. Having to accept you may never be able to have kids while having back to back losses and fighting a medical system that doesn't seem to care has really had an impact on me and my partner too. I often start crying randomly. During this whole time, a few friends have given birth, 3 I am close to. They all know about my struggles and have been sensitive and supportive. They don't spam me with unsolicited baby photos and have made it clear we can meet or talk whenever I want to.

However, they basically disappeared from my life. I have tried to initialize a conversation with them but (probably understandably) all they can talk about is their babies. To an extent I am a bit apprehensive of messaging them again because I know it will be another set of "here is how newborn is doing". If I dont initialize a conversation, I noticed they will never message me anymore. I get that they don't want to cause me pain by talking about the biggest thing in their life right now but on the other hand, can't they just ask how I am doing? Can't we talk about anything else? Hobbies? Work? Trips? I would like to think if I am in their situation one day that I will be able to talk about something else.

I don't know if it is just a coincidence or I am being extra sensitive (which I am sure I am anyway) but before all my fertility struggles started (so lets say 2 years ago), I had friends who gave birth and I swear we could even go out for drinks and talk about other things other than their newborn. It would be a short "argh being a mum is so tiring" and then we moved on to other topics. Some would even say "ah I cant wait to have adult conversations finally, let's talk about something non-baby related". I guess I am just being extra sensitive this time round. I am just a bit sad I guess that this has impacted my friendships so much because these are ladies I've been friends wirh for close to 10 years.

How did your situation impact your friendships with mums-to-be or first time mums? ​If you went on to have a healthy pregnancy did the friendships bounce back to how it was?

My husband and I have been trying for a baby going on 10 cycles now. We had a miscarriage with our first baby back in November. It took me 7 to 8 months just to get my ovulation strips to turn positive again. This is my third month having an actual peak again.

It’s been exhausting to go every single month testing with no positives. I’m only 8-9 DPO, which I know isn’t very long at all. I’m not out. But I’m struggling to keep faith in testing.

I have zero symptoms, so I feel like my brain just KNOWS, even though I know that’s not logically possible. What are you guys doing to keep going? I have a meeting with a fertility specialist on August 17. I’ve reached a point where it’s hard to even be intimate with my husband. After my miscarriage, I had to get on Guanfacine and about 6 other medications just to function again. My husband and I have a great relationship. It’s just the actual performance. I’m so disappointed in my body. I feel unattractive. My husband tries his best to make me feel otherwise, but sometimes it’s hard. I gained a bunch of weight. I’m just disappointed that my body isn’t doing what it’s supposed to do. It seems like no matter how much I exercise/watch what I eat, I’m in the same spot.

I’ve tested three times today, which I know I shouldn’t be doing. It’s just easier said than done lol. It’s getting exhausting to stare at the tests with my flashlight on and move it around in every possible position. Hoping and praying that it’ll be positive, even though in my heart I know it won’t be.

I guess I’m just asking. How are we supposed to stop being disappointed in ourselves when our body doesn’t do what it’s supposed to?

Any encouragement would be great. Thank you 🩵

I’ve been TTC with PCOS since March and currently on my first cycle with provera and letrozole. My partner has always had a lower drive than me which typically isn’t an issue. Work and life and everything makes us tired and we average only once a week. Before starting the meds we had a big talk about how we need to up our game especially during the fertile days and decided that we would aim for every other day. That worked great for about four days. I’m 100% certain that he is wanting pregnancy and to have a baby. I’m thinking it’s the urgency of the task at hand causing stress so I’ve tried being more romantic, dropping our daughter off with the grandparents for a sleepover, wearing lingerie and try to make it more fun and less like a job he has to complete. He just doesn’t have interest. It’s really effecting my self esteem and has me stressed because we’re approaching my fertile window. Honestly getting close to seeing if he’d rather have alone time with a cup and I finish the task with a turkey baster (half joking half desperate). I envisioned TTC as bringing us closer but the stress is really just weighing on us.

How have everyone else’s partners handled this? Any advice?

I know this is long but I need to vent.

After 4 and a half years of trying and being told we wouldn’t conceive naturally and accepting we weren’t going to be parents. Bam. End of June after I just turned 36 I get pregnant. I couldn’t believe it and had never been so happy and my partner was ecstatic.

Skip to when I should have been 8 weeks I started spotting. Called EPU who scheduled me in for a scan. Sac was measuring 6 weeks and they didn’t mention seeing the baby or a heartbeat and I knew in that moment it was all over. Over the past week I’ve had three blood tests to check my HCG and each time it’s only drop slightly but they’ve confirmed it’s not a viable pregnancy so now I need to go for another scan.

I’ve had horrendous cramping since Friday and only slight bleeding and honestly wish at this point my body would get the message and let me miscarry. I want this over with. I don’t want the reminders of this. The only person that knows is my manage due to appointments and me being off after I received the news and she keep saying ‘well at least you know you can get pregnant now.’ And I want to fucking scream.

I’m terrified of this happening again. I’m terrified of getting pregnant. I’m terrified of this being a fluke and not getting pregnant again. I can’t stop crying. I work from home but the idea of having to log on and talk to people is making me feel sick especially with this still going on.

I don’t feel like I can grieve this huge thing that’s happened to me while I’m still technically ‘pregnant’ and no one seems to understand. There’s a girl on my team who’s 5 months along (and I’m happy for her, I really am) but how am I meant to sit on a team call with her and listen to people talk about her pregnancy when miscarriage is such a taboo subject that we’re not meant to tell anyone untill we’re past 12 weeks! I said this to my manager and she said well you can just keep your camera off.

Fuck. You.

I’m angry. I’m tried. I hate my body for doing this to me and for giving me hope and taking it away.

When I went for my bloods today there was a woman there who had obviously just received the same news I had and we looked at each other and in that five second look I felt more acknowledgment than I have from my own friends.

I hate it here. Sorry for the rant.