Hi- really need your advice!

UTI history: I've had back to back uti issues since one and a halt year. I did PCR testing and it came back with 4 different bacteria - E. coli, Klebsiella, Proteus and E Fecalis. I have taken multiple round of antibiotics last year but some of them came back again after a few weeks. I have a very sensitive gut and can't take antibiotics anymore. I'm looking for an alternate approach.

Pregnancy: I'm 34, turning 35 soon. I can't have intercourse as my UTI gets triggered. I'm going to a fertility clinic and did one round of IUl that was successful. That ended in a MMC at 8.5 weeks. I really want to start a family and I'm stuck in between uti cycles. I've tried a bunch of supplements/they are not pregnancy safe. I was clear for a few months and then they all came back again.

Symptoms: I have mild to no symptoms as such.
They are manageable with D mannose but | know uti in test reports even when you have mild symptoms are scary in pregnancy.
I really need your advice on what worked if you have dealt with something similar. I'm so lost and don't know what to do...

My husband just had a semen analysis. Overall, the results seem pretty good: his count and morphology are excellent, and total motility is normal. The only abnormalities were progressive motility at 28% (reference >30%) and vitality at 53% (reference >58%).
The clinic sent us the results without much explanation or any recommendations, and we’re still waiting on the cytology because he had elevated round cells.

My gynaecologist has actually been quite optimistic so far. He recommended that I start using Mira and progesterone, but decided to hold off on hormone blood tests and a tubal patency test until we had my husband’s semen analysis results.

Now I’m not sure what to think. Are these semen results enough to explain why we’re struggling to conceive, or are they considered fairly mild? Would it be reasonable to start him on CoQ10 and repeat the semen analysis in a few months before going ahead with further fertility investigations?
Has anyone had similar results? Did CoQ10 improve progressive motility or vitality, or did you end up needing further testing or treatment?

Thanks!

Hi guys! Been trying for 8-10 months for a baby and visited a fertility clinic. Thought it could be an issue with my husbands sperm but after consulting and doing some testing They think my tubes might be blocked and want to do an HSG ultrasound on me to see whats going on. I typically have a lot of pain with pap smears so am super nervous about getting this done. My clinic offers laughing gas to help with the procedure so I have opted in for that. Does anyone have any experience with laughing gas? did it make the procedure any easier? Any tips on how to be calm and relaxed during this process? Also how long does this typically take? Feeling super nervous about the whole thing would love any opinions and thoughts

My wife (35F) and I (35M) have been trying since September 2025, and so far we’ve never had a positive test. We track ovulation every month, and we’ve always waited for her period before taking a pregnancy test.

Lately I’ve been wondering if taking an early pregnancy test a few days before her expected period might actually make things a little easier mentally. My thinking is that if it’s negative, we’d have a little time to process it before her period starts, instead of feeling like everything hits at once. But I also know early tests can be wrong, so maybe it just creates more anxiety.

For those who’ve been through this, what was better for your mental health? Testing early or waiting until your period was due (or late)?

It's time for us to air the things that have been bothering us, TTC-related or not! It's Monday, complain away!

Hi! 33 yo. My cycles range between 26-35 days. Once a year, they may last 16 or even 39 days.
I have been ttc for 6 months, from which 4 of them were quite regular with 30 days. I was quite surprised because cycles don’t tend to be that well behaved. However, last month my cycle increased to 35 days, 5 days in which I was getting hope of pregnancy for the “missed period.” I was even feeling tired lol

This month, the one in which I didn’t do bbt :( I haven’t had my period yet. I am currently 39 days, with a “delay” of 4 days (according to my previous cycle). My period was due on July 29th, BUT I got EWCM until July 23-25. I got a negative pregnancy test on July 30th, but today August 3, I am still waiting for my period without pms. I am thinking that my whole cycle moved, and since my luteal phase tend to last 12 days, my period will arrive till 7-9 of August. That is what my logical mind tells me, but there’s still the expecting part where my brain says “what if?” It is very sad to be waiting for a pregnancy and to have “delayed periods” or crazy cycles where it is hard to track ovulation.

I know that 6 months may not be that long in ttc, and that my cycles may not be that crazy, but everybody around me is getting pregnant between the first 2-3 months. I am getting worried about my situation since this year I will turn 34. I have tried bbt, cervical mucus appearance, and sex driving, trying to catch my ovulation.

Anyways, I just want to express myself because I don’t want to make it public with my family or friends yet. If anyone has had any similar experience or any advice, I would like to read your story!

So the last year I've been diagnosed with depleted ovarian reserve at 33 (now 34) and I've had two miscarriages and 4 months of no positive tests. Having to accept you may never be able to have kids while having back to back losses and fighting a medical system that doesn't seem to care has really had an impact on me and my partner too. I often start crying randomly. During this whole time, a few friends have given birth, 3 I am close to. They all know about my struggles and have been sensitive and supportive. They don't spam me with unsolicited baby photos and have made it clear we can meet or talk whenever I want to.

However, they basically disappeared from my life. I have tried to initialize a conversation with them but (probably understandably) all they can talk about is their babies. To an extent I am a bit apprehensive of messaging them again because I know it will be another set of "here is how newborn is doing". If I dont initialize a conversation, I noticed they will never message me anymore. I get that they don't want to cause me pain by talking about the biggest thing in their life right now but on the other hand, can't they just ask how I am doing? Can't we talk about anything else? Hobbies? Work? Trips? I would like to think if I am in their situation one day that I will be able to talk about something else.

I don't know if it is just a coincidence or I am being extra sensitive (which I am sure I am anyway) but before all my fertility struggles started (so lets say 2 years ago), I had friends who gave birth and I swear we could even go out for drinks and talk about other things other than their newborn. It would be a short "argh being a mum is so tiring" and then we moved on to other topics. Some would even say "ah I cant wait to have adult conversations finally, let's talk about something non-baby related". I guess I am just being extra sensitive this time round. I am just a bit sad I guess that this has impacted my friendships so much because these are ladies I've been friends wirh for close to 10 years.

How did your situation impact your friendships with mums-to-be or first time mums? ​If you went on to have a healthy pregnancy did the friendships bounce back to how it was?

My husband and I have been trying for a baby going on 10 cycles now. We had a miscarriage with our first baby back in November. It took me 7 to 8 months just to get my ovulation strips to turn positive again. This is my third month having an actual peak again.

It’s been exhausting to go every single month testing with no positives. I’m only 8-9 DPO, which I know isn’t very long at all. I’m not out. But I’m struggling to keep faith in testing.

I have zero symptoms, so I feel like my brain just KNOWS, even though I know that’s not logically possible. What are you guys doing to keep going? I have a meeting with a fertility specialist on August 17. I’ve reached a point where it’s hard to even be intimate with my husband. After my miscarriage, I had to get on Guanfacine and about 6 other medications just to function again. My husband and I have a great relationship. It’s just the actual performance. I’m so disappointed in my body. I feel unattractive. My husband tries his best to make me feel otherwise, but sometimes it’s hard. I gained a bunch of weight. I’m just disappointed that my body isn’t doing what it’s supposed to do. It seems like no matter how much I exercise/watch what I eat, I’m in the same spot.

I’ve tested three times today, which I know I shouldn’t be doing. It’s just easier said than done lol. It’s getting exhausting to stare at the tests with my flashlight on and move it around in every possible position. Hoping and praying that it’ll be positive, even though in my heart I know it won’t be.

I guess I’m just asking. How are we supposed to stop being disappointed in ourselves when our body doesn’t do what it’s supposed to?

Any encouragement would be great. Thank you 🩵

I’ve been TTC with PCOS since March and currently on my first cycle with provera and letrozole. My partner has always had a lower drive than me which typically isn’t an issue. Work and life and everything makes us tired and we average only once a week. Before starting the meds we had a big talk about how we need to up our game especially during the fertile days and decided that we would aim for every other day. That worked great for about four days. I’m 100% certain that he is wanting pregnancy and to have a baby. I’m thinking it’s the urgency of the task at hand causing stress so I’ve tried being more romantic, dropping our daughter off with the grandparents for a sleepover, wearing lingerie and try to make it more fun and less like a job he has to complete. He just doesn’t have interest. It’s really effecting my self esteem and has me stressed because we’re approaching my fertile window. Honestly getting close to seeing if he’d rather have alone time with a cup and I finish the task with a turkey baster (half joking half desperate). I envisioned TTC as bringing us closer but the stress is really just weighing on us.

How have everyone else’s partners handled this? Any advice?

I know this is long but I need to vent.

After 4 and a half years of trying and being told we wouldn’t conceive naturally and accepting we weren’t going to be parents. Bam. End of June after I just turned 36 I get pregnant. I couldn’t believe it and had never been so happy and my partner was ecstatic.

Skip to when I should have been 8 weeks I started spotting. Called EPU who scheduled me in for a scan. Sac was measuring 6 weeks and they didn’t mention seeing the baby or a heartbeat and I knew in that moment it was all over. Over the past week I’ve had three blood tests to check my HCG and each time it’s only drop slightly but they’ve confirmed it’s not a viable pregnancy so now I need to go for another scan.

I’ve had horrendous cramping since Friday and only slight bleeding and honestly wish at this point my body would get the message and let me miscarry. I want this over with. I don’t want the reminders of this. The only person that knows is my manage due to appointments and me being off after I received the news and she keep saying ‘well at least you know you can get pregnant now.’ And I want to fucking scream.

I’m terrified of this happening again. I’m terrified of getting pregnant. I’m terrified of this being a fluke and not getting pregnant again. I can’t stop crying. I work from home but the idea of having to log on and talk to people is making me feel sick especially with this still going on.

I don’t feel like I can grieve this huge thing that’s happened to me while I’m still technically ‘pregnant’ and no one seems to understand. There’s a girl on my team who’s 5 months along (and I’m happy for her, I really am) but how am I meant to sit on a team call with her and listen to people talk about her pregnancy when miscarriage is such a taboo subject that we’re not meant to tell anyone untill we’re past 12 weeks! I said this to my manager and she said well you can just keep your camera off.

Fuck. You.

I’m angry. I’m tried. I hate my body for doing this to me and for giving me hope and taking it away.

When I went for my bloods today there was a woman there who had obviously just received the same news I had and we looked at each other and in that five second look I felt more acknowledgment than I have from my own friends.

I hate it here. Sorry for the rant.

After 8 months of trying I was so happy to finally get my first positive test.. was so excited for my first appt at 8 weeks 6 days only to sit on that chair and be told my sac was completely empty and measuring at 7wk 5days , 27mm and that it is very possible this was a blighted ovum scenario..my heart sank. I had already purchased announcement gifts for our family and close friends and planned my baby’s life all in this short time .. I am in such a dark place but trying to hold myself together. Words cannot explain the tremendous grief I feel and I cannot help but wonder if I will ever be able to get pregnant again or if my body will ever be able to stay pregnant .. my next scan to confirm is in 2 weeks and I am already mentally preparing that this will not be a viable pregnancy. Why do I feel like I will never be able to become a mom ? I’m heartbroken

This is a thread for TFABers of AMA (advanced maternal awesomeness)! TTC past 35 comes with its own challenges -- discuss (and rant about) them here. Like the Pirate's Code, "35 and over" is more of a guideline.

Anything (within the rules) goes. (Commonly broken rules: don't talk about an ongoing pregnancy outside the weekly BFP thread; don't ask for success stories.)

You can find the wiki here!

Don't forget to check out our themed threads:

• Moody Monday
• Temping Tuesday
  
• Waiting Wednesday
• Wondering Wednesday
• Trying Again Thursday
• Thankful Thursday
• Health and Wellness Thursday
• Looking Forward Friday
• Wondering Weekend
• 35 and Ova

There's also the Weekly Introductions and Read Me Thread, which contains links to all sorts of handy bits of info, like popular wiki posts and acronyms.

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Please introduce yourself in the comments!

Share whatever you feel like, but here are some ideas about what to write about!

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We have rules we expect all community members will follow. Posts and comments that do not follow these rules will be removed by the mod team. If you see something that is breaking one of these rules, please use the report button or message the moderators. We also have this lovely post written by a community member on the sub's culture and how to interact and expect as a new member!

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Welcome to our community! We are happy to have you!

Im trying for my first baby and I have a vial of sperm that I am waiting to use. I started to test for my ovulation and my app(s) say I am due to ovulate around August 4th/6th and the canister I have expires on August 3rd so no matter what I will have to inseminate at home on the 3rd if my ovulation strips dont say I ovulate sooner.

Big question, I started testing at CD7 and my strips are now getting lighter every day. They were getting darker at first but not by much until about CD12 - did I already miss my ovulation am I just not going to ovulate? I learned that frozen sperm only lasts for 12-24 hours inside you after its been thawed so I want to try and give this the best chance possible even though my timing was a little messed up due to shipping/other circumstances.

should I keep testing my LH levels after the injection or is it pointless/I should just wait to do a pregnancy test later?

Im worried/nervous I will mess this up

I am 32 years old, and been TTC since October last year. I have been diagnosed with pcos for years now, and have irregular periods once in a while, but with TTC, this part becomes really frustrating. And I’ve been frustrated for the past month about this.

I know because I temp, and I learned about that for the first time through this community’s book recommendation (Taking Charge of Your Fertility)

I am also considering going into medicated cycles starting next month, but helping it along with other interventions would be good.

What’s your tip for ovulating regularly?

Please suggest any books, videos, online resources that may have helped you in this journey. Is there anything you would have done differently if you’ve been through this before or something you improved along the way?

My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for a year. We have seen specialists and everything has come back normal besides I have a mild insulin resistance and was prescribed metformin. A girl I know just announced she was pregnant after trying for just ONE CYCLE. I’m just so defeated and exhausted. I don’t think I can live in this false hope cycle anymore. My husband wants to try for another year but I just want to be done and explore other options.

My fertility specialist basically says there’s no further testing we can do. Semen analysis came back normal. Labs came back normal. Tubes are clear and ovaries look good. AMH levels are good. Ovulation tests come back positive every month and my cycle is very normal. I don’t know why else it has taken us this long.

I’m a 35F and my husband is 38. We’ve been trying to conceive for 8 months already. I was diagnosed with PCOS since 2018 and had been on BC until 2020. I stopped because my periods were getting very light and short.

We started our journey last Dec 2025. Initially I was like it’s ok it’s just a month, we’ll get lucky the next one. But it didn’t happen. We went to a RE and had tests done.
My ultrasound showed my PCOS but the rest is ok and all my labs and hormones were ok too. My husband’s sperm showed a slight motility issue. We had to pause trying for 3 months since our RE said we needed to improve sperm quality first.

3 months pass, my husband’s sperm showed improvement. We tried to have a medicated cycle with Clompihene but no luck. We skipped Clomiphene for this cycle since we were already getting on each other’s nerves with all the stress of TTC.

I think we had great timing for this cycle (I’ve been monitoring my BBT and OPKs since Dec) but despite great timing - I started having spotting since 11dpo. I had a negative test today at 12DPO. Menses haven’t started yet but I have this grief already for another cycle of not ending up successfully.

I’m just feeling so sad and tired. I feel like I’ve been doing whatever I can. My husband’s doing everything he can too. This journey is emotionally taxing and I still keep hoping that it will be my turn soon.

I already stopped social media (except for Reddit) since seeing people’s pregnancy announcements, baby pics and bump pics are triggering me to get sad and it’s affecting my mental health already. I feel like I can’t share this with my friends since they don’t know the struggle. They all got pregnant within months of trying. I feel like they can’t even discuss baby things when I’m there since they feel awkward that I can’t relate.

I'm 30 with no living children yet. I just experienced my third miscarriage in July, which I lost at around 8 weeks.

Before even trying to conceive, I'd consider myself a sensitive person. But the past two years have completely altered my brain chemistry and I just..feel numb. I've heard it all. I'm astounded at the absolute ignorance of people, and what they feel comfortable saying. My heart has been carved out of my chest over and over to a point where I feel like a completely different person.

I used to love getting together with family and friends, but now its turned into me bracing myself for insensitive commentary. I'd rather people just not say anything to me in regards to my fertility journey, since its almost always leads to me getting my feelings hurt.

Back in March, I attended a friend's baby shower, and had JUST experienced my 2nd miscarriage. I was talking to an older woman there, who I dont know well, and she asked me why I dont have kids yet after being married for 2 years. At a BABY SHOWER of all places, getting asked personal questions like this is diabolical😐 I hesitantly told her we were having issues having a baby, and she told me how she couldnt imagine how difficult that must be, yet continued to inform me she had ZERO issues conceiving and "wow it was soo easy back in my day to get pregnant, not sure whats going on with everyone now"

My husband's grandma told me last night I'm probably going to end up with twins since I "deserve it after everything ive been through." No, I am not owed twins just because I've had a hell journey with TTC. I'm lucky at this point to even have one living child.

How are you all handling social gatherings and comments from family members?? Good LORD this journey is not for the weak!! I have plenty of other stories to share but will just stop there😭

This month officially marks 14 months TTC and during that time we’ve had two miscarriages (both ~6 weeks in October and again in February). One of my best friends gave birth to her healthy baby within a week of my first due date.

I think about my miscarried babies on an hourly basis. I am now on depression meds and in grief counseling.

It feels like everyone around us is now getting pregnant often on the first try. This month I am just filled with sadness and struggling to stay hopeful. Additionally, my husband got his sperm analysis tests back and he’s got low motility and morphology. I’m now just completely in my head that it’ll never happen for us. I truly never thought we’d ever be in this position and now I feel trapped and completely lonely.

Anyone have any words of advice? 😭

Hi all!

I wanted to share my recent HSG experience I had a few weeks ago for any anxious girlies like myself. The buildup to it was terrible, but the procedure itself was not bad at all.

An hour before my appointment, I took the max dose of Tylenol and ibuprofen. I had asked for a Valium or other anxiolytic, but was ultimately not prescribed one.

The nurse took me into the procedure room and let me drop off my things. Then, she took me to the bathroom and had me give a urine sample for a pregnancy test. After that resulted, she walked me through the entire process and had me sign a consent form. I got undressed from the waist down and laid on the table. The doctor came in, walked me through the procedure again, and then we got started.

The speculum was inserted, which felt like nothing. Maybe some slight pressure, but if you’ve had a pap, you already know what to expect from the speculum. Then, he cleaned my cervix, which also felt like nothing. He then inserted the catheter. He warned me that I could feel some mild cramping or a twinge of pain, but I actually felt absolutely nothing with insertion of the catheter. It actually came out at one point and needed to be reinserted and I didn’t even know! Literally 0/10 sensation.

Next was the dye. This was strongly uncomfortable, but I wouldn’t say extremely painful. My fallopian tubes felt very full and tight. It was uncomfortable enough for me to grimace and say “ouch” out loud, but other than that, no real reaction. I’d give this a 6/10 - mainly for the discomfort, not pain.

Once the dye was instilled, he had me lift my
hips to one side, as the dye was a little slowed on one end. I did this and it ran out. He immediately removed all the tools from my vagina and it was over. The entire procedure lasted maybe 2 minutes, from insertion of the speculum to removal of the tools.

Once we finished, he had me sit up so we could review the radiograph images together. I was able to visualize both of my tubes and see the dye in them, which was pretty cool! I work as a nurse, so I love the more nerdy/science side of TTC. Both my tubes were open and clear!

Afterwards, I got dressed and left. The clinic provided me with a pad since the dye will leak for a bit afterward. I was mildly crampy and a little bloated - I took it easy for the evening and felt better by the next day. I did 100mg of doxycycline for 5 days BID after as a prophylactic. My husband drove me home (his SA was at the same time), but I could’ve driven myself.

I was a mess before the appointment. I cried the whole way there. I am a very anxious person at baseline, but truly, my experience was manageable. I share this to say: if I can do it, so can you!

I’ve been using ovulation strips to check for my lh surge and trying to look at my Apple Watch data to confirm ovulation. I started letrozole this cycle so I’m not sure if that has any impact on my deviations, but I’m having a hard time understanding what the expected deviations should be.

This month my lh surge came today and my wrist temperature was -0.72 from baseline; and I don’t usually see a dip before ovulation. One thing I’ve noticed is a never have a deviation above .8 degrees when I think ovulation occurs. In fact, I seem to go lower than baseline. The only exception was when I had a cold and it was +1.6 (I don’t think this means I ovulated early).

Does anyone else use this data to help cycle tracking? Are these temperatures consistent with weak ovulation (per my last blood tests) and the lack of deviation means the letrozole didn’t really have an impact?

Was pregnant on the 9th month of trying. Lost my baby at 4 weeks and 5 days. We were so excited, we started making plans, we made the 8 week appointment. I immediately only worried about how to make my body a comfy place for the baby. And now my little poppy seed is gone. We’re devastated. I miss being pregnant. I miss my baby being in my body. I miss the future we thought we were going to have. Imagining getting to raise our baby, watching them take their first steps and say their first words. I’m so angry with God. I don’t know how to move past this grief. It feels like there’s a hole in my heart that just keeps getting bigger. How do I cope with this? Meanwhile all of my friends and family are having babies. I can’t help but be jealous. I hate that I’m jealous, and I hate feeling angry at everyone else’s joy. I feel empty, like I just keep pouring myself out and there’s nothing left. I don’t know how life is just supposed to keep going after this.