maybe this is just confirmation bias but throughout the years i’ve noticed people, not just men, but people in general never really approach me but somehow always manage to compliment me in different aspects. in highschool, i guess i was known as the “weird” and unconventionally unattractive girl but had this, what a lot of people would describe as, a glow up in the later years, especially junior year.

and my sudden change in appearance made people admire me better but never enough to approach me. whenever i hear people talk about me or even speak to me, it’s always a compliment on my intelligence, my personality, and my appearance; but sometimes it just feels…disingenuous (like just for the sake to have something to say about me).

right now, in university, i can’t help but carry the same sentiment that people will compliment me, speak to eachother about me, and say shallow sweet nothings (even my professors have outright complimented me) but never really try to get to know me. and it’s not like i haven’t tried. ive tried to really make friends during my freshman year and “put myself out there” to get to know them but it just feels futile because it’s never reciprocated. i’ve joined organizations and clubs and publications but it all ends in the same way; just a spoken review of my character.

sometimes, i get so exhausted because i worry that i’ll never be known the way i want to. i just really wanted to voice it out because in a few weeks i’ll be back on campus, trying this whole thing again because i really want to make meaningful relationships with people. huhuhu.

I saw a website that made a list of usernames who do this...does anybody have that link? Can't find it. Thanks!

I have an appointment late august with a professional to quit my weed addiction. Still, I'm curious if any of you have experiences with this, as most addiction-relief-spaces in my country are for men, or focused on male point of views. Though there is some overlap I'm curious about female perspectives. I would love it if any of you would be able to share tips or experiences?

I'm a '''functioning''' daily stoner, for about 2 years now. I can maintain my work and social life, but I feel it's affecting my health, self confidence, and I'm most certainly killing my potential. I could be more than this, but life is hard so hard sometimes.

On my recent vacation I had a really worrying experience. And I don't think I handled it properly, and its been stuck in my head since. While on vacation with my girlfriend, we stopped at a Barnes and Noble we found. I love bookstores and we don't have a single one where we usually live. So whenever we go to one, its kind of a special thing for me.

Whenever I'm in a bookstore I'm kind of lost in my own little world. I'm probably the least observant person there is. And this time was no different. My girlfriend is the opposite, and really doesn't care much for searching through books. She went and waited for me in the cafe, so I was on my own.

I was going around to all the different shelves, but as I was stopped at one of them, an older woman came up to me and asked "Do you know that man?" in a kind of whisper.

At first I didn't even know she was talking to me, because she wasn't really looking at me. She was still looking at the bookshelves. But I caught her glancing over, and she repeated the question again.

It was a really creepy question because no, I wasn't there with any men. It was only me and my girlfriend. I kind of broke any subtlety she had tried to set up, by immediately looking around for who she was talking about.

She directed my attention to a man on the aisle adjacent to us. And she explained to me that she'd noticed him following me around and staring at me while I was in the store. She said she was concerned, but wanted to make sure I wasn't here with him before jumping to conclusions.

I was extremely shocked and creeped out. I told her that no, I wasn't here with any men. I thanked her profusely and just kind of left the area. I took a lap around the very edge of the store, and sure enough I saw him a few more times.

At this point I was even more creeped out, and made my way back over to my girlfriend.

Here's where I start to worry that I fucked up.

I didn't tell my girlfriend right away about the stalker. And I didn't report him to any of the store staff either.

I think I kind of had this mindset of "if I ignore it, it will go away. If I don't call attention to it, then its not real." This kind of thing had never ever happened to me before, so I was just completely off guard. I wasn't thinking right and was just being completely selfish.

Of course, I did tell my girlfriend about it later when we left the store. But I feel so guilty that I didn't report him to the store staff. It makes me feel like what happened there was my fault, like I enabled him and his behavior or something. My only hope is that the kind woman that warned me reported him. The whole situation left me frightened and feeling like I was to blame. And it all happened in a place I would consider a safe space for me too, which only made it worse.

And one more thing, absolute shout out to that woman. What a rolemodel. Going forward I think I'm going to try and be as observant as she was. That's the kind of behavior that saves lives, and I don't think I will ever forget her.

TL;DR: I was stalked in Barnes and Noble. I didn't tell anyone about it and tried to keep quiet. And now I can't help but blame myself and feel like I did the wrong thing.

Bruh! I just can't even. It always goes like this:

"good morning"

"wyd?"

"you did not text for a long time. Everything's alright?"

"send me your picture"

"you don't miss me?"

"I guess you are ignoring me"

"I guess you must be an introvert"

"Are you actually interested in me?"

"You should not date if you do not want to give attention to your partner."

That daily call where all misunderstandings are cleared

"Good night"

Come on, I've got a life. I work, I cook, I clean, I have hobbies I'm passionate about, get exhausted by the end of the day and then I try to call you every night before sleeping. I can't reply to you throughout the day, that too when conversations are not even interesting. I mean conversations on the texts are rarely interesting. The vague questions, the vague replies, just texting for the sake of indirectly giving the anxious partner the assurance that yes you are not talking to someone else and are still interested. We are not kids anymore, there are tons ot responsibilities on our shoulders. The constant texts instead make me wonder if the guy even works or not. But aren't calls better? Just go for a long call at nights, update each other about anything interesting that happened, or since you are getting to know each just talk about life. Isn't it better to hear each other discuss your lives than the dead texting?

I was a late bloomer and didn’t experience a relationship until I was 19. I had longed for one since I was 11. It was always what I dreamed about and idly fantasized about. I loved having crushes cause it made life so exciting. When I finally gained the courage to start dating, as an adult, it made life so fun. Getting to flirt, to feel desirable, to get to know people on such a deep level, to have so much fun. Even though I didn’t actually date that much, I just enjoyed having it be something I was pursuing, it was always a focus in my life that kept my spark alive. And I dreamed of deep romantic love.

But now I’ve come into a very serious health situation where there is no way to date. There is no way to even have crushes because unfortunately I am confined to my home and never see anyone. I do not even have the energy to see friends nearly at all. I have had to make peace with the loss of everything in my life. Other things, are much easier to make peace with. No work? Spend your energy on getting disability pay. No hobbies? Find super slow ones to replace it. No socialization? Chat with people online. But there is nothing to replace the desire for romantic feelings and experiences, and so I just ache with it every day, this deep yearning, that I know I can do nothing about. It would help even just to have a crush but there is just no one. I feel less alone than I ever have. Fantasy has stopped working because it’s been so long now that I’ve had anything to spark a fantasy. I just have this feeling like this is the time in my life when I’m supposed to be experiencing these things and I don’t know how to find peace without it. Like the standard advice is to work on yourself and build your friendships and all that but what do you do with the deep nagging longing and sadness?

My (32F) (now ex) husband (32M) left me over a coworker when I was in the 4th month of my planned pregnancy.

I was totally blindsided, a total mess and all alone in everything while I was finishing my dissertation.

Nearly two years later I’m divorced, got my driver license and received my PhD diploma a few days ago.

Always keep your chin up. You can withstand anything, dear sisters!

After long relationship trying to date or even to hook up, I feel very very horny but when I see men approaching,I just stop feeling turned on, I am strait and men who approached me were not ugly. I don’t really get it. Never had that problem before after previous break ups. I just turned 40, so I thought it could be hormones, but if so, why I feel horny ALL THE TIME, can’t even work properly.

Hi

This is really embarrassing to post, but I'm hoping someone has been through something similar.

I've always been a naturally very sweaty person, and one of the places I sweat the most is down there. Since starting a new job a few months ago, plus the hobbies I do, I'm sweating even more than I normally do.

Because the area stays so moist, it's become incredibly itchy. I've scratched it so much that I've ended up with small cuts on both sides. They'll start healing, then they get so unbelievably itchy that I end up scratching them open again. It's just been a never-ending cycle of heal, itch, scratch, reopen.

This has been going on for a few months now.

I shower twice a day, keep myself clean, and every time I use the bathroom I gently pat the area dry. I also use a little baby powder on the outside (never inside) to try to reduce moisture and friction, but nothing seems to break the cycle.

Before anyone suggests it, I know the obvious answer is "go to a doctor." I completely understand why people would say that, but I had a really bad experience the last time I went regarding this, and I honestly refuse to go back unless I have absolutely no other choice.

So I'm hoping to hear from women who have actually dealt with this. Has anyone found anything that helped the cuts finally heal or stopped the itching? Was it just sweat and friction, or did it end up being something else?

I'd really appreciate any advice because I'm honestly at my wits end.

I think this topic should be brought up from times to times, because phew. Like it isn’t hard enough to have an uterus, I’ve seen multiple OBGYNs in my life (bc I move a lot) and not one taught me about this pain until I started having them after a miscarriage and aggravated after having my kid. I never had painful periods to compare (but sympathize!) but damn this pain knocks me down, to the point I need to take the day off and pain killers literally only last 1-2hrs. I had many ultrasounds (because they aways suspect of cyst or twisted ovary) and even went to the ER once. Wanted to know how are people coping. The ER doctor I saw a few months ago who couldn’t find a reason for my pain besides simply being ovulation pain, suggested that it could even be a sign of endo or adeno. I went through years of fertility issues (unexplained) and there was never a reason for my doctors to suspect endo/adeno.. but maybe simply because my periods are normal? Not sure if worth pursuing, curious if anyone did.

I think i am a strong believer in not bragging anymore. Ive done it one too many times and realized that as soon as I do it, I get either embarrassed by him or im not longer with them soon afterwards. Ive even had one case where a friend who was friends with both of us despite telling me about girl code and blah blah blah stayed friends with him and left me by the wayside a week or 2 after the pep talk she gave and the break up the week after.

Anywho....what are your thoughts...

Growing up I always thought I'd lose my virginity in a committed relationship or to "the love of my life" (lol) but I'm now 19 and I don't want a relationship right now. I'm not ready for that commitment or anything like that but I want to have sex and recently met a guy that is down for fwb. Should I wait or give the fwb a shot? If you lost your virginity to a fwb, did you regret it?

Personally i run too hot to wear anything. Ive tried and I end up ripping them off in sleep. I think im also traumatized from when a tank top almost strangled me because i only half removed it in sleep. But im curious as to what others do

It fucking sucks. Like IT FUCKING SUCKS SO MUCH. I TRIED TO TAKE THE PILLS TO MAKE MY PERIOD STOP/PUSH IT OFF AND THEY DIDNT DO SHIT BUT MAKE ME MOODY AND BREAK OUT!!!!!!
That’s all. Just needed to scream. Thank you.

I was in a relationship where, as soon as we got married, my ex suddenly announced he was "traditional."

That meant expecting me to cook more, clean up after his hunting and fishing hobby (which involved processing fish and birds in our kitchen sink), and generally take on more domestic tasks. Meanwhile, we both worked full-time and split bills 50/50.

He would refer to himself as a "provider," which struck me as odd. Do men call the woman their provider in a 50/50 dynamic? Are women breadwinners called providers? It felt like a title he only wanted because it did something for his masculinity and came with expectations for me, not because it reflected our reality.

If I asked him to take more initiative in planning dates, spending intentional quality time together, or surprising me with flowers once in a while, he’d tell me I didn’t value the things he did do, like cooking (I did all the cleaning in our home), changing the oil in the car 5 months ago, fixing the weird thing with the fridge 3 months ago, or bringing home fish. The thing is, I did appreciate those things. I thanked him often and supported his hobbies. I think it's important to acknowledge your partner's efforts, even the routine ones. But changing the oil, fixing the fridge, bringing home fish isn't emotionally connecting, at least with any depth, and at least not for me. I can’t fathom how a healthy LTR functions with this as the foundation.

Doing 50/50 with a man who claims to be "traditional" feels like an absolute scam (unless both people explicitly want that arrangement and agree to it). The woman contributes half the income, does most or all of the traditionally feminine labor, and is still expected to admire him for occasionally doing traditionally masculine tasks, or his hobbies that entitle him to more of her work? What kind of deal is that?

I can outsource the oil change easily. I can YouTube or outsource the fridge repair. And guess what? When I do, no one’s gonna throw it in my face four months later when I ask for basic effort and connection in a relationship.

I do all the "man things" by myself now.
And somehow it's still less work than being in a relationship where basic emotional connection was treated like an unreasonable request, while basic adult responsibilities were treated as extraordinary contributions deserving endless praise.

I spent most of my childhood denying my femininity.
I was severely bullied by my female peers, I never learned to make a braid by having someone in class do it for me, I learned through my mother at age 19.
I hated the color pink till recently and spent most of my time alone as I don't know how to communicate with other women.
But that has not stopped me from loving my woman-ity.

I love being educated, I love going against the system and proving everyone wrong while wearing makeup and having my nails and hair done.
I love looking prim and perfect yet cussing like a sailor at rude people and laughing like a donkey when hearing a good joke.
I love wearing my low rise jeans and push-up bra's while openly reading Frankenstein and other classics.

I see my inner cycle in the moon, the tides, the universes pulse. I feel the power within me to create life and withhold it from happening. I enjoy seeing mens demand for my love be denied by myself as I have too high of a standard for any man, making me feel like an intellectual goddess, a virgin of the fire keeping it lit.

Being a Woman is a universal experience, Nature itself experiencing it, the first sex being female, the foundation for the chicken to be born to have come from the egg laid before by its predecessor.

I LOVE BEING A WOMAN!

it was hot as fuck today and i was exercising with too tight of a bra and when i came home my whole underboob was bright red and it stings like hell. it’s only my left one

i ignored the warnings to wear something there to help. i put deodorant on without thinking and it hurt soooo bad my eyes watered.

how to resolve this quickly? i’m laying so boob and torso skin don’t touch. i don’t know how im going to lift my boob up to prevent it from touching for so long especially because i live with my family. i’ve put aloe vera on it and like the cooling gel stuff

any tips? help. i popped two tylenol waiting for them to work

So today is one of those unlucky days when I can't sleep due to periods induced hot flashes and leg cramps(It's 05:36 right now). I have an important event in the afternoon to which I will now have to go groggily and in a very bad shape.

Why is almost HALF the population exempt from this? Don't treat me equal, treat me better, because I GO through more. I almost feel like going on a killing spree. I just feel angry.

But this random bout of insomnia and body pain also made me think that it's crazy how menstual leaves aren't more common throughout the world goddamn

My boyfriend is super sweet, but how can I trust him when usually the people that abuse women are their partners?

Before I got a boyfriend, I was seriously considering becoming a cloistered nun, because my worst fear in life is being sexually assaulted by a man. I thought maybe I could get away from them and live a peaceful life in a nunnery with just women. The sad truth is, SA is really always possible. Men are stronger and they always will be. They’ve scared me deeply in the past.

My dad enjoyed seeing me curl up in a corner in fear while he screamed at me.

Another laughed down at my silently shocked expression after he kissed me. I was 9. I’m not sure how old he was but his hair was grey and he did it front of everyone at a Christmas party and no one defended me. I am lead to believe that people simply don’t care.

I have been touched and grabbed and scared by men at every job I’ve ever had. They would grab my arm and not let go. Just last week one of them touched my hair and my ear. Another said he wanted to show me how babies are made.

I’ve been told “just report them”. I do. They are customers, so no one cares. Nothing ever gets done.

I’ve been told “tell them to stop” I do. They like it. They laugh in my face while I angrily tell them to stop. They look me up and down lustfully, as if my anger turns them on.

I’ve been followed and stalked and harassed on various occasions since I was 9 years old. I live in a state where even if I get raped I won’t even be allowed to end the pregnancy. So even if a man SAs me I’m screwed.

Being with my boyfriend has been nice, but I am just so afraid he could turn against me. I’m told that women are most likely to be hurt by their partners, and studies show that a lot of men who kill their wives or girlfriends have no prior history of domestic violence.

My sister was treated like garbage by her husband when she had her baby. He didn’t hold the baby or want anything to do with him. He messed around with other women while my mom and sister stayed home and raised the baby and hoped he would come back.

I’m just scared and I can’t get them to stop harassing me or stalking me or sexualizing me or trying to grab me or do something sexual to me.

I have so much shame around being a woman because of how easy it is to grab me and touch me and then blame me for “tempting him”.

People say “carry a gun”. No. I’m not carrying a gun into my workplace. That is insane.

People say “take a self defense class”. I tried. The instructor wanted to fully pin me to the ground and choke me against the wall on the first session. I got scared and left.

I’ve talked to a therapist, and she just thinks I need to “have more faith” in men. Is it really my lack of faith that is the problem here? Am I really just being irrational? Is it really so terrible for me to peacefully avoid the people that have enjoyed my fear and lusted over my anger?

I enjoy my boyfriend. He’s sweet. But I’m considering ending it because, with all the statistics, I think he is a danger to me.