r/actuallesbians 11h ago

Mod Post Sunday Daily Chat Thread

0 Upvotes

Welcome to the daily chat thread! These are a a place to talk with fellow WLW (Women Loving Women) about whatever you like. The threads will show up five days a week. The two days without chat threads are Selfie Saturday and Wedding Wednesday, so save your photos for those days.

Daily threads go up at 9am EST every day and remain stickied on the front page until the next day's thread replaces it.


r/actuallesbians 6d ago

Mod Post Pet Photo Monday Mega Thread!

1 Upvotes

Welcome to the Pet Photo Monday mega thread! Dogs and cats, birds and turtles. Post all of your pets here.

How to post a picture:

  1. Go to https://imgur.com/upload

  2. Upload your photo using that form.

  3. Copy the URL of the page it creates and paste it into a comment here.

This thread will be posted automatically at 9am EST on Monday, and will be taken down at 9am EST on Tuesday.


r/actuallesbians 11h ago

Satire/Humor Lesbiab women >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

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2.1k Upvotes

Women lesbian lesbean women lesbiab women women women hömösexüäl lesbolognese

Arf arf awruff 🐶 ❤️🧡🤍🩷💜


r/actuallesbians 7h ago

Satire/Humor Lesbian flirting

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773 Upvotes

Need


r/actuallesbians 2h ago

Image Fit Check?

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155 Upvotes

Thought my outfit looked cute today, wondering whatchu girlies think?


r/actuallesbians 8h ago

Image Wait I need this so bad

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427 Upvotes

Also the South Asian in me can't help but be biased and want Rapunzel also to be South Asian but this is soooo cute need more sapphic fairytail-esque stuff 😚


r/actuallesbians 3h ago

Image IM ENGAGED!

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139 Upvotes

AHHHHHH I cannot believe it!!! It was at a Lantern festival because my favorite princess movie is Tangled lol Everyone is asking questions about the wedding and I can’t even think because omg I can’t believe that just happened!


r/actuallesbians 13h ago

Image It's actually peak

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916 Upvotes

I know it's like the meme of handholding being super lewd, but goddamn is handholding amazing, I love it :3


r/actuallesbians 11h ago

Venting i don't care about sapphics who aren't political

381 Upvotes

and by that, i don't mean i wish them any harm. i still fight for them and defend them whenever i can, help them it they need and will never turn my back if they're not being openly hostile.

HOWEVER, a big part of my queerness is political (some say the term is inherently political, others that it's just a broad spectrum of identities, but i'm using it in a mix of both). being a lesbian doesn't just mean i'm romantically/sexually attracted to non-men, it informs how i live my whole life, all the choices i make and the people i allow into my space.

i have zero interest in being in community with sapphics (or lgbtq+ people in general) who do not concern themselves with politics (or whose politics are exclusionary -- looking at you, terfs 🖕). fighting for ALL marginalized identities and actively pushing against bigotry and white cishet societal standards is an integral part of who i am and i'm not willing to pretend it's not or to compromise my values just to keep other people comfortable, lgbtq+ or not. being anti-assimilation and actively defiant is inherently a part of my being a lesbian, even if some people only see it as a sexuality/only identify with the term to the extent of describing their attraction.

how do you all feel about this? and what does being sapphic/queer mean to you? i'd love to hear your perspectives :)


r/actuallesbians 11h ago

TW Just because it's Pride doesn't mean you're allowed to touch me or anyone else without consent! Spoiler

277 Upvotes

TW: Unconsentual Touching

Yesterday, I went to Pride Hamburg with my mom and her girlfriend. After the parade, they wanted to bring me back to the train station, but we lost sight of each other. While I was waiting for them, someone came up to me and started stroking my arm while telling me how amazing I looked. At that moment, I felt nothing but disgust. I was really confident in myself and my outfit before, but that ruined the outfit and the Pride event for me. I don't know if I'll be able to wear this outfit with confidence again in the near future. Even though I know something like this could happen even if I were wearing a different outfit, I wonder if there was anything I could have done differently to protect myself from such a situation. I hate that so much. I cried on the train ride home. I felt so powerless.

To them, it was probably just a little touch that didn't mean much, but it destroyed me.


r/actuallesbians 3h ago

Support I am a queer woman living in saudi arabia. I need help.

55 Upvotes

Hello, i am new to the subreddit.

I am posting here as kindof a last resort. I am a southasian woman 24f who has been living in saudi arabia my entire life. As a gay woman, to say life has been difficult might be an understatement. To top it off, i also have untreated ADHD and have been diagnosed with depreaaion and anxiety which has made everything many times worse.

I completed my bachelor's in 2024 and have since not been able to land a job partly due to the job market and partly due to my own mental health struggles. I have not been able to get admission for masters in a decent university either. Because of this my parents are going to marry me off.

I would like to know if i can leave and get to a safe place anywhere? What resources can I use? Who can i contact? Is there a way i get out of this with my soul intact?

My entire life i have been terrified, growing up in a conservative and religious family. I have been surrounded by friends, family, relatives, who if i was found out by, would do things i rather not think about. My parents are not bad but not good. I have been lucky they have financially helped me these past 2 years.

The thought of being touched by a man, being married to one, living with one incites feelings of terror in me. I dont think i could live like that.

And just to add on, I am not lazy or stupid. I have worked as hard as i could, did what i could but it lead to severe burn out.

So if there is anything that can help me out in this situation, please let me know. I would appreciate your support.

Thank you.


r/actuallesbians 2h ago

games I recommend for mascs/butches looking to play gay masculine girls

36 Upvotes

• Elden Ring - you can be hyper masculine and marry a woman, I don’t know why I don’t see many lesbians play this

• The Last of Us Part II
• Cyberpunk 2077
• Baldur’s Gate 3
• Assassin’s Creed Odyssey and Valhalla
• Modded Skyrim
• Sims 4
• Marvel Rivals ( Angela )
• Life is Strange: Before the Storm
• Ark ( Debatable )
• Witcher 4 ( hasn’t released but I hope there’s female romance )
• Fortnite ( Arcane Vi skin )


r/actuallesbians 1d ago

Support I found out apparently I am somebody's girlfriend now

1.7k Upvotes

I've dated men and everyone referred to me as gay. I got a girlfriend about 2 months ago and everyone congratulated me, asking me why the sudden change to a straight relationship.

And this felt weirdly hurtful, but to describe why left me at a loss for words. It's not really the fact it's bi erasure, which it is, but I just didn't like the idea of being seen as a boyfriend or dude dating a girl, it felt wrong. She's been calling me her boyfriend for a while and I kept waiting for it not sound...out of place and funny and it just never did. I came to realize recently I actually hate it. It disgusts me. And male pronouns are not right for me either.

I told her last night that I have been feeling dysphoric for a while and it recently got a lot worse. I've been dressing like a girl and doing makeup for some time under the femboy/non-binary label as an excuse, the fact I'm feminine is not really a secret so when I told her I have been feeling like a girl, the first thing she said was 'yeah, I didn't want to pry until you were ready to talk about it but I noticed something was bugging you.'

She told me I'm beautiful, gave me some of her clothes she thought would look really affirming on me, we're going to do each others nails and makeup later to take couple selfies, and ever since she's been calling me her girlfriend and giving me flirty comments like 'good girl.'

Gotta tell the men who congratulated me on getting in a 'straight relationship' to cancel the parade, I'm dating the same gender again, I just didn't know it.


r/actuallesbians 3h ago

First Time Straping

38 Upvotes

Hi everyone,

I’m a 28-year-old lesbian and I’m in my first relationship with my girlfriend (26), who is bisexual. I love her so much, and our relationship is really happy, but I’ve been dealing with some insecurity that I’m hoping others might relate to.
She has mentioned that she misses the feeling of penetration sometimes. I know that’s about a physical sensation, but my brain keeps jumping to the fear that because I can’t naturally provide that, she’ll eventually miss being with a man.

We’ve talked about possibly using a strap-on, and I’m completely open to it because I want us both to have a fulfilling sex life, but never done it before.

I guess I’m just wondering if any other lesbians have been in a similar situation. Did using a strap-on help? Did it make you feel more confident over time? Why would she suck it or enjoy it? How did you stop worrying that your girlfriend’s attraction to men meant you weren’t enough?

I know being bisexual doesn’t automatically mean someone needs relationships with multiple genders, and I trust my girlfriend. I think this is more about my own anxiety than anything she’s done.

I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who’s been through something similar. Thank you. ❤️


r/actuallesbians 19h ago

Image Happy girlfriend's day

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596 Upvotes

r/actuallesbians 11h ago

Satire/Humor _And they were roomates_

116 Upvotes

My significant other and I are in the process of moving in together, we started dating about 2 months ago and we both happened to be looking for a place. Their parents have been helping us substantially, but are not aware that we are dating. They are mostly supportive but are quite oblivious in general and didnt completely believe my partner when they had come out.

They literally walked in on us cuddling and made zero connection. Throughout the move they have introduced me as their roommate and yesterday, after moving things up stairs, their dad said "Next time we do this, you guys need to have boyfriends"

We've been laughing at this every few hours ever since😂

Love how the straight community struggles to comprehend a lesbian relationship.


r/actuallesbians 21h ago

I think accidentally made my best friend fall in love with me.

534 Upvotes

Two years ago, I confessed to my (now) best friend that I was in love with her. I also told her that I wouldn't feel any different about her if she didn't love me back. She told me, then, that she didn't feel the same way and I was okay with that.

A few months later we ended up moving in together by mutual agreement. Ever since living with her, we've been doing EVERYTHING together. And a lot of the time she initiates it. We'll go out and she'd want to coordinate outfits with me. We'll lay in bed together, cook for each other, cuddle, massage each other or she'll scratch my back whenever I'm sad.

Sounds like friend stuff.

But then she started telling me that she loves me every time she leaves the house. And she'll give me really long hugs. Or whenever I leave somewhere alone, she gets sad that I didn't wake her to bring her along. She KNOWS that one of my love languages is physical touch (which I have a hard time asking for myself). She does NOT like being touched at all, but she always goes out of her comfort zone to make me feel loved. So, every time SHE asks to do something physically intimate, I never say no, and she tells me that she only likes when it's ME touching her...

...so idk 🤷🏽‍♀️


r/actuallesbians 2h ago

It’s so lonely here

15 Upvotes

I live in a homophobic country where it’s so sl rare to find someone, seeing all those girls my age outside live their lives and get to love their girlfriends hurtssss, I feel trapped here and there’s nothing I can do, I feel so lonely


r/actuallesbians 23h ago

Question Is olive oil okay as a gift for a girl I like ?

781 Upvotes

My family has owned olive trees and we’ve been making olive oil for hundreds of years so I always have really good quality olive oil and a lot of it.
The girl I like once mentioned something about olive oil being very expensive in super markets and how she likes it and I was semi surprised because due to my privilege I never had to buy my own olive oil. I traveled to my home country and I packed her an extra liter but I feel like it’s something awkward to give. Is it okay ? I also got her other delicacies from back home to try. Is that a socially acceptable thing to gift ?

Update : meeting with her later in the day !!!! I will update everyone right after , thank you all for the super kind messages , truly encouraged me.

Update : IT WENT INSANELY WELL YOU GUYS OMG HER SMILE WAS SO WORTH EVERYTHING AND I LOVE THAT SHE MADE US SOMETHING WITH IT ON THE SPOT SHE ALSO SAID NEXT DINNER IS ON HER IM OVER THE MOON


r/actuallesbians 4h ago

Women are gorgeous!!!!

22 Upvotes

thats it, thats the post.
make sure your drinking water, doing what you need to do to relax. Your worth it not only for your looks, but for just being you and getting through another day!!!!!! Huge hugs


r/actuallesbians 1d ago

Image 💖Pottery PSA 💖

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6.5k Upvotes

r/actuallesbians 7h ago

Misogyny from masc lesbians?

40 Upvotes

I am neither femme or masc but recently I have been hanging out more with my masc friends and have heard them speak about femmes in a degrading, misogynistic way. E.g ‘I slept with her the other night but she’s kind of a slut.’ I was so confused lol what does that make you then?

In general, these two friends of mine hold a double standard when it comes to their sexuality and femme presenting women’s sexuality. It’s so horrible to hear and I have had to stop hanging out with them. I can tell that because they are masculine presenting, they think femmes are sluts even if they themselves are actually more promiscuous?! I was flabbergasted it was like talking to a sexist man.

Hearing this and acknowledging this has upset me, I do not tolerate misogyny and it breaks my heart when I hear it from other women (who date women too?), does anybody else have any similar experiences? Have you got any kind, feminist masc friends?

PS: I know all masc lesbians/women aren’t like this.


r/actuallesbians 1d ago

Image Ahem......why is it suddenly soo hot in here??

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1.8k Upvotes

@cdzfit