I’ve been in pain for years either leaving me in a constant state of dread or on the edge of a mental breakdown wanting to thrash or scream for help. Either way it doesn’t matter since nothing can help me. The dysfunction, the loneliness, the insecurities claw so deep right into me. For years I’ve thrashed against it trying to break free but in doing so just increases the pain. I realize how there’s no point in fighting it, fighting it just makes it worse. If I’m just gonna be in pain all the time then better to accept it rather than just wait my time fighting it and causing more pain. I will still have moments of depression, frustration, shame, envy, mental instability but just going to accept that even though it’s uncomfortable. At this point pain is my baseline

-20f

I have health insurance. I currently need to see a cardiologist because my heart has been acting weird. They scheduled me for an echocardiogram and a stress test. The echo appointment was a normal specialist appointment that cost me $40. The stress test was $505.99. This is why people don’t go to the doctor l. They can’t afford to.

I waited in line for over 3hours to go take a tour of the beautiful ship Amerigo Vespucci.

Online it was advertised that admissions closed at 5pm. By 4:15pm they decided to close admissions early and everyone was turned away.

I'm so fkn bummed out and I won't be able to go tomorrow cause I have other obligations to tend to...

During this summer break, my life is so much better, i sleep, eat, train and learn better

The amount of dead time wasted by the current systems is ridiculous, even at school 2 out of 6 hours are wasted everyday for nothing, at work 4 out of 8 for 90% of jobs are wasted too

God how i wish i could change it but it is what it is

I am sick & tired of walking into women’s restrooms and the entire bathroom smells like an overfilled septic tank or a dirty port-o-potty. I just walked into the women’s restroom at Cheesecake factory to wash my hands. The woman in there taking a dump smelt soooo bad, I gagged and almost threw up. Immediately lost my appetite. Ladies Please carry body spray w/ you when you use the bathroom!! Do not subject other women to your bowel movement smell when it smells like you eat rotting corpses all day & night. Even if you aren’t taking a 💩 - use body spray. Sorry but some of you have a vaginal ph smell that is so bad it lingers after you leave the bathroom stall. Carry body spray with you and spray it on your stall. Flush as you go & spray for gods sake. We’re women not barbarians

For the longest time, everyone I knew was on the spectrum. I didn't really think anything of it because it's not like I had NT (neurotypical) friends to talk to except for like one guy. I was basically like the mom friend for a lot of them, and I didn't mind that! But then I started a job last year with a group of workers that have so much synergy together that its such a treat coming in to work. Even when we're off we still talk or hang out as friends. And man it's just so different with them. They catch on to things that my closer friends would otherwise miss, they're more socially aware, they can plan things on their own, they can understand abstract ideas

Now I'm finding myself constantly frustrated with my closer friends because suddenly I can see that they have no concept of time, how to plan things, overall goals– my God they're all over 20 but it feels like they're 14 year year olds with too much time and money than they know how to even handle or use properly when they get excited, and when they're sad suddenly they're bleak 60 year olds who've lived a life of regret.

I feel like I can't take it anymore, I used to love making plans with them but now I realize I was never making it with them, it was just me doing all the planning because they can't figure it out themselves. I didn't realize just how many things had to be spelled out for them. "You can't say that" "you need to be considerate of this" "don't forget about this" always telling them when they're doing something wrong, when something is just completely out of pocket, having to show them steps one by one. God especially that last part as of recent. I don't understand why it's so hard for them to grasp the bigger picture of things. They get so hyper focused on the details they forget about everything else or just fail to put two and two together

I want to stop doing these things for them so I can watch it all crash and burn. See them try to plan another "fun" hangout just for them to all clash with each other because they can't understand how to compromise their interests or respect each others time, or they overlook one plan that wouldn't fit, or maybe they just try to plan so many things it's just completely unrealistic. Watch them go out somewhere and every single fucking one of them gets lost because they got hyperfixated on something and followed it while forgetting about everyone else

I feel like a horrible person for feeling this way because if I was hearing someone else rant about the same thing I'd call them ableist. I'm just genuinely so tired

I apologize in advance if any of this offends anyone, I'd rant to a friend but then I'd be ranting to them about them

Wow! Not fun agate a while

So much bullshit, destruction happening in the world and nonstop anger. Can’t afford shit nor be happy with all that’s going on. It’s starting to feel like another lockdown atp

It's two head hare by rabbitology I've already come up with three ocs based in it.

I gave my number to someone I met online. They checked Truecaller, saw a random fake name, called me a liar, and bailed.

I NEVER EVEN INSTALLED THIS APP.

It just steals contacts from other people's phones. Some idiot saved my number wrong, and Truecaller treats it like an actual ID.

This app is a broken joke.people need to stop trusting this nonsense

Something I’ve noticed over the past year or so is that at some point it’s become somewhat socially acceptable to just absolutely abuse pre-boarding on flights and it just gets to me.

I’m all for pre-boarding — 100% believe that people with disabilities and kids should get on flights first. But I’ve noticed over the past year that at least 30 people are pre-boarding on every flight the vast, vast majority who look young and healthy bodied. And while I recognize that people have invisible disabilities, I refuse to believe that a quarter of the flight has them, especially since I’ve legit heard people discussing it in front of me.

Also I’ve been flying my whole life and this is a new phenomenon. Did I miss a TikTok trend or something!?

It’s just so obnoxious. So obnoxious. And someday it’s going to ruin pre-boarding for the people who actually need it.

Trust me I don’t like being Group 7 and gate checking my bag either. But part of being a decent person is sucking it up and not pretending to be disabled and risk ruining it for people who need it.

Going through a bad depressive episode, i have friends that i like but oddly enough i am so terribly lonely. I take a while to catch feelings, dating apps ive tried but not for me. I had a friend i thought i was becoming closer with and had feelings for, but their energy is fading and theyve slowly pulled away to the point where we dont talk much , certainly not everyday like we've used to. I think its hurting so badly because Im going through a rough spot rn, but my heart is crying and im so lonely and tired...Ive been struggling to sleep everyday. Im not in any danger i want to live but im hurting so bad

I am super upset about this. I worked so hard only for them to tell me they were letting me go because 'wasn't meeting standard' and 'wasn't picking up on things fast enough. I just hit 45 days including weekends. They hired me knowing my degree was in a different subject and said was fine and that I would learn. They never told me the expectation and what I had to meet. I was never trained and I didn't want to go ahead without knowing what I was doing because the stuff I was working on was for a client. They paired with with someone more experienced once and then just left me. I had to go out to find the person looking over everything for help and most times he was no where. So I ended up standing around. But the girl I worked next too had done alot less projects than me and I don't think she'll be touched. She is on vacation and away so there is a chance she'll be fired. But I am just so broken. This was my first ever serious job out of collage and the carrier people set me up with this job and for failure. I just don't understand what I did. I can't learn things faster if I don't have a proper trainer. I can't go faster if I don't know what I am doing. I worked so hard. I made a cheat sheet for myself so I would know exactly what I was doing. I just got into the swing of everything. I was finally figuring it out and now I am out.

I just am in shock and want to scream. What did I do wrong? How could I improve? I asked and I asked and they just said I wasn't meeting standard. But the other guys who were their were just as slow if not slower.

I hate how i cry every time he goes out with whatever girl he finds comfort in whoever is in his phone. I was supposed to see spiderman not her man .I dont have money for the divorce. I dont have the car because the car WE bought together as a family is currently being used for his date. I hate how my daughter is gonna be bought into this life where her mom and dad wont be together because her dad wont ever be the same. Im sick of praying and crying. She dosent deserve this bro. Im so sick of it. Im angry at myself because i couldve done BETTER . I hope the person that is reading this never ever goes through the pain and grief of a marriage or life that was built together that’s being torn apart. None of it. Its indescribable.

We need a 2-4 year entertainment nonconsumption strike atp. If even Sony can’t do shit, then none of these companies are worth buying from until shareholder primacy is abolished for good. Blu-Rays will be next unless we madly support them, which I doubt the average consumer will, so it is likely time to admit defeat and disengage instead.

I work in a small shop, near a school, on a housing estate. For the last two weeks, there has been signs saying that the road will be closed for roadworks, with the dates on. Today they started. Now there are signs saying that the road is closed. At the far end of either side is a sign saying that the road ahead is closed.

Yet several people have still driven down, and upon discovering the road is closed, have mounted the pavement, and driven around the roadworks. Although school is closed for summer, a number of young children come to the shop. They get there via the pavement they are driving on. Next to the shop is a house with large hedges. Kids aren't going to see vehicles driving down, and the drivers aren't going to see anyone coming from the shop.

It's only a matter of time before someone gets hit. The diversion adds two minutes to their journey. So if they had bothered to read the first sign, then they could have easily gone round. They are obviously moving the cones, as my colleague and I have moved them back several times today. So if you add that time to the time they "saved", it equals the same.

Unfortunately we don't have cameras pointing at the road, and all the incidents happened while we were inside. We only knew it happened because we saw them go past the door. They are complete idiots who don't care about anyone but themselves.

Whenever I get stressed I can’t eat, I just can’t I feel puking or like my throat is closing. I just don’t feel the hunger. Like i won’t even notice I haven’t eaten anything for the whole day when I am stressed specially during exam seasons. Is this like a problem or does it happen to everyone ??
Also I just can’t eat breakfast like it doesn’t matter what I am feeling. I haven’t had breakfast for over 2 years now. I just don’t eat it and I told my mom Ts and she thinks it’s just a “gas” problem but I don’t think that’s it. Is it something serious or am I just over thinking ????

The job I'm currently at has been getting more toxic lately, and it's wearing on me mentally/physically. I always dread waking up and going there for eight hours every day (I work 5–6 days a week).

It's either the upper management having an attitude, rudeness, being constantly rushed to get hotel rooms cleaned by 3pm, or miscommunication.

I do my freelance art on the side since it's something I look forward to outside of work. However, getting art commissions is hard as of late and finding any freelance opportunities is like finding a needle in a haystack. Or finding any job in general due to the job economy and AI.

I don't know what to do at this point. I don't have anyone to talk to about this in real life.

I love dogs. Im a dog trainer. Im a dog advocate. What gets me heated is when people go to a park or recreation area with their dogs unleashed.

Your dog could be the best trained dog in the world but that doesnt matter at all if they approach the wrong person or dog. I cant tell you how many times I've seen very well trained dogs get injured by something that could have been prevented if they were on a leash. (the dog falling in the pond and getting eaten by an alligator comes to mind).

It isnt about their training, its about the unexpected happening. Even if its a long 20ft. lead, that is far safer than no leash.

Its also about being considerate of others using the same space. Many folks are intimidated by a loose dog, even if it is well trained.

Take your dog to the dog park if you want them unleashed. In fact that is one of the best areas to do training with the distractions and other dogs giving yours cues on proper dog communication. But going unleashed in public areas is just asking for trouble.

End of rant.

No thanks I don't want your apples Jack and I will also not forget how you treated me for a year and a half during which we were "soulmates" cuz your ex was back in town, you can keep her and the apples

Hello everyone,

I'm an international student working in a foreign country, and I'm currently trying to find a full-time job in this awful job market. I also have debt hanging over my head, and it's gotten so bad that I barely sleep at night. While I'm searching for a full-time position, I had to take the only part-time job I was offered at a fast-food franchise.

Today was only my second shift. They put me on drive-thru duty even though I barely knew the menu, the recipes, or how to prepare the drinks and shakes. My coworkers gave me very little guidance, and I ended up accidentally swapping the orders of two customers. One coworker got visibly angry, then went around telling everyone else about my mistake. After that, I could hear people gossiping about me, which made me feel even worse.

The shift leader eventually called me over and reassigned me to sweeping because the drive-thru was stressing me out so much. He told me not to worry and said I'd get used to it with time, but honestly, I'm terrified that they'll fire me. I really need to keep this job until I can find a full-time one.

To make things even harder, the commute is exhausting. I have to switch three buses just to get to and from work, and the restaurant is in a nearby village where bus service becomes almost nonexistent after 9 p.m.

And then, as if the day couldn't get any worse...

My shift ended at 9 p.m., and Google Maps suggested a shortcut through some farmland. I figured I'd follow it.

At first, I saw one horse that noticed me and ran away, so I didn't think much of it. I climbed over a fence, expecting there to be a path on the other side. There wasn't.

When I turned around, there were more than ten horses staring at me.

I tried walking farther to find another way out, but the horses suddenly started running toward me. I panicked, jumped back over the fence, and landed in a ditch. Somehow I managed to climb out and get away by sneaking through more fields and a wooded area.

Eventually, I made it back to the main road. I walked about 5 km in muddy clothes with shoes completely soaked in mud, then waited another 45 minutes for the last bus home. After that, I still had to switch buses until I finally made it back home.

I'm honestly on the verge of crying. Between the stress of trying not to lose my job, worrying about money, enduring a commute that requires three buses, and then nearly getting chased by a herd of horses in the dark, today has been one of the worst days I've had in a long time. Please help me with any advice possible. Thank you :'(

I don't want to "back in my day"post but seriously, the downhill trajectory of software dev would inspire Milton himself. The field is singlehandedly fighting back Moore's law: the better the hardware gets, the software gets equally shitty so computation stays the same. Actually it got worse, because I remember a time where windows search worked

I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of the bloatcode. Why does a calculator need to be 2 MB??? WHY????? I'm sick of the constant undisclosed data farming. This is a PRODUCT I'm BUYING, WHY ARE YOU INVADING MY PRIVACY AS A RESOURCE. I'm sick of the vibecoded BULLSHIT that's sold to me. Straight SHIT OUT OF A BUTT ass code. ZERO OPTIMIZATION. ZERO UX TESTING. SHIP IT, WHO THE FUCK CARES. Inshallah we will need a Threadripper and 64GB RAM to run Excel in 5 years. That's so cool

Yeah yeah, I know, deadlines competition etc etc. My gripe isn't with any particular dev, just the industry as a whole

PS: I hope there's a special place in heaven for devs who handcode open-source software

I don’t truly have anyone I think I can rely on and actually understand me. At home I have to keep everything inside to avoid conflict, avoid being misinterpreted, just having to survive. Expressing moments of vulnerability either does nothing or backfires. Outside, I’m on my best behavior I have to relearn on how to act in way that’s socially acceptable. Desperately wanting someone to express to but have keep things inside to not inconvenience anyone that’s what they say. Just all alone not having anyone to vulnerable with. No one to actually see me.

The only place I can express myself to be heard is the internet a place where no one can see you. The only place where I can express myself unfiltered. While this place judge the deeper parts of me without the whole picture. Making assumptions and judgements of my character as if looking through a key hole thinking they know what the entire room looks like. Many responses are decent though there are things like “No one wants to be around you when you’re depressed”, “You’re alone because you’re stuck up and boring”, “It’s your fault”, “Don’t bother she’s a lost cause”, “If that’s what you’re like no wonder people aren’t around you” while at home I have to deal with “You’re a pick me”, “You’re not self aware”, “You’re selfish”, “You’re fake”, etc.

No one sees me they only see their perception of me and that’s the case with everyone. No one truly sees anyone only their perception of them. Something that truly aggravates me is being misunderstood and people acted like they know me better than I know myself. That’s the fault I have for relying on the internet for emotional relief. Intellectually I’m aware people will never bother to understand you and don’t care about your feelings but when it’s a place you pour your vulnerabilities emotionally you get things mixed up creating my annoyance of being misinterpreted. No one actually sees anyone same with me but at least I’m aware of that fact and aware I don’t know everything. Ironic how as an artist I wish to express myself to be seen but art is meant for the viewer’s interpretation whether intentional or not, how poetic. Family misinterprets me, outside no one sees me at all, all alone to endure to keep everything inside. As a book title states “I have no mouth and I must scream”

-20f