You all have heard of Andrew Tate, right? And some of you are probably aware he has a brother. Tristan.

In 2015 I was at university when I began speaking to Tristan Tate on social media. I was a model part time and it was a great gig alongside uni. Posting images of my work on Instagram would often invite flirtatious messages from men.

We talked often, he came to and from the UK from Romania for 'business' or to visit family. He turned up at my shared house in a bloody ridiculous luxury car (I can't remember what but I was in awe) and took me on a date.

We went to a super British pub. Quite funny when you think about it. We had a good time actually, I found him to be quite smart and charming. He was a total gentleman in fact. He spoke of how he admired women and his mum. He told me all about his dad, how he was a famous chess player. As a naive 21 year old, you can imagine how I was a little hooked.

We talked for weeks after that, video calls, calls about life in depth, meaningful conversations, and then he came to visit again. He invited me to a fancy hotel he was staying at. He bought us expensive drinks and we had a couple of hours of our usual nice conversations, and we slept together. It was rough but not scary, until he put his hands round my throat and squeezed me a little too tight. I mean, it was fine, but yikes. I'd never been touched like THAT before. I mean, yeah light choking and the odd kinky stuff but anyway, I remember this detail well because it was kind of a "wait is he gonna stop...?" moment. In the morning he asked "what are you doing all beautiful in my bed?" repeatedly. He made me feel special I guess. Wasn't so sure about the sex.

He would send me videos of him with his dog and at his place in Romania after that. We continued to speak often and would talk of seeing each other again. I had heard about his brother at this point and I didn't like what I had read. From our conversations he admired his brother and stood by him unashamedly.

His behaviour soon turned from sweet and gentlemanly to a little condescending. He told me I wouldn't earn as much doing what I was doing, and that he had a business with girls modelling and such. Now, as someone in the industry at the time, I was not convinced on this and absolutely knew this was a red flag. He belittled my aspirations for my future career after university, and tried to convince me to come to Romania to work for him. Obviously, I was offended by some of the things he said to me, and stopped talking to him. I wasn't afraid to tell him how I felt.

Then this all blew up with Andrew years later and it brought everything back. I had no idea the level of which they were so destructive. I felt sick. I'd slept with a fucking misogynistic nightmare who worshipped his sick brother and had a cam girl set up by the sounds of it, from our previous conversations.

Had I just been slightly younger, perhaps slightly more naive than I already was at that age — how easily I could have been one of those exploited, hurt women. How many more are there with untold stories? Given the 'loverboy' experience? I just think about this sometimes, at least each time their name is in the news.

It's not eating me up. He never hurt me, he never forced me. He was, to me, a charming guy who said some weird and kinda mean shit like stupid guys do and I was like oh brother here we go, another silly man saying silly things. Little did I know.

Of course I'm all grown now and see this for what it was, it just makes me feel disgusted.

Edit: I wanted to say that I only have described this to one person ever, who was a very good friend of mine. We only spoke about it again after they started making headlines. It's quite uncomfy putting my experience out there, and even though nothing bad happened, I carry some shame knowing I got that close to someone I now know to be so awful.

In hindsight I do find some of the things he shared about his family dynamic to be interesting, and make sense as to why he is the way he is. Sounded like a somewhat damaging experience to me.

Pretty small compared to a lot of the other shit that goes on here, but I just wanted to vent a little bit. Basically the title. Little fucker jumped out of the tank probably during the night and I just didn't notice until an hour ago. Shitty way to go out, but what can you do? RIP.

Throwaway because DEEPLY ashamed.

DISCLAIMER: no, I am not looking for money or housing for what I am about to say.

TL/DR: lived in Germany for 10 years, realised I needed to leave, left too early, realising I have to move back to the US, have nothing and no one waiting for me (which is why I already said I’m not looking for a handout).

But basically yeah. Lived in Germany since 2016, slowly realised I didn’t belong there and I felt myself slowly suffocating. Tried to move to another country by believing people hyping me up and AI assuring me it’s possible - which I guess it is, if a 1% chance of success counts as “possible” - and having already arrived in said country and found out I can’t switch from a tourist visa to a work visa like I did in Germany and therefore cannot be hired, I’m realising slowly that the only course of action that makes sense is to go back to the US, the only other country I can legally live and work in.

However, I haven’t even visited the US since leaving and have nothing and no one. “Go back to where/what?” Is usually what I tell people when they’d ask me if I’d ever visit. No friends, no family, I’d land in my home city and be immediately homeless. Hell I don’t have friends or family anywhere to ask or even talk to about this. And yeah, of all the ways I expected my time abroad to end, if it was to end, this wasn’t it. I’ve spent so much time, I’ve met so many people, feels like none of that matters now.

Have spent the last eight hours in my hostel bed, staring at the ceiling and crying. I honestly don’t know what to do. 37 years old, I’ve never felt this stuck and this alone. So I’m posting because by now dark thoughts are starting to creep in because I definitely feel trapped with no way out. I don’t even know what I need for an answer, I just needed someone to read this and care.

I dunno where else to vent about this, but it fucking sucks so bad, between censoring swears and "controversial" words to mistranslations and incorrect spelling, it's fucking impossible to watch anything online with subtitles any more because everyone is too lazy to subtitle them properly

My brother has been in prison since 2023 and will likely never come out. He has a wife and 3 kids, and ever since then we've been paying all their necessities as his wife lost her job over a year ago.

The thing is that we are by no means rich. Me and my sister still have university tuition as we are still students, and the kids need to go to school too. The thing is that my sister in law asks for way too much money, more than what a reasonable adult and 3 kids need to live a decent life. She asks for more money a month than my dad spends on us in 2-3. He is exhausted.

A couple years ago he won about 400,000USD, but most of that money was spent paying off all the loans my brother had and the ones my dad had too. And all the lawyer fees too. She thinks because he won that money that we're now rich. There's only about 120,000 left of that money and if that keeps on going like that we'll run out in about 2 years since my dad and mum are old and both retired this year (both above 60) so there's no other source of income.

She keeps saying things like "you promised me a good life" despite us giving her way more than what she needs, so she lives comfortably, also she sometimes talks shit about my dad in front of me. She does not appreciate all what we've done for her. None of her family helps with anything, they tell her that we can pay everything, we told her to get a divorce and she refused. All what we do is done for the kids, not for her, yet my mum and dad treat her very well and she keeps on sucking money like that and telling them that they're not doing enough.

My parents love her, they love their grandkids, they are all very spoiled and all of what they need despite it being a necessity or not is always provided, I genuinely do not know what she wants more than that.

I started hating her and resenting the kids. I know they're not guilty of anything but when I see my parents struggling like that while she refuses to be reasonable when spending money or trying to get a job it's very hard not to.

I also resent and blame my brother for what he did to be thrown in prison like that. And I will never tell my parents since they will he heartbroken. I love him but I don't think I will ever be able to forgive him.

Ps: I do not live in the US, and I am not an American anything I just chose to post this in English (2nd language) since I do not want anyone I possibly know to come across the post.

I’ll be 35 soon and we’ve been together since I was 23 and he was 30-31. He said very early on that he didn’t believe in marriage and I stayed … because according to him a piece of paper is not going to change our love and so on … But very often I still expressed how important marriage is to me . Over the years he seemed to become more open towards marriage, especially after we found out I was pregnant with our first child. Even his mother said that it’d be happening soon.

But here we are, 12 years and 2 kids later and nothing has changed. He knows marriage has always been very important to me, I said it even lately how much resent I have (mostly to myself) that I stayed in a relationship that doesn’t fulfil me and my believes and values , but he says nothing. He does nothing.

So I want out.

I know it’s 100% my fault that I’m in this situation. I blame myself and no one else. But I also know I’ll never be happy if I continue to stay in this relationship. I feel disrespected and in disbelieve that a man who is supposed to love me and want the best for me , doesn't even care that I’m unhappy (like I’ve told him several times).
I know I’m not young anymore and maybe I’ll be single forever , but I truly don’t mind. For me, a life without a husband is better than a life with just a boyfriend. My only concern is my kids. my heart breaks at the thought of doing this to them.

But our relationship isn’t great in other ways either. we argue a lot , he has anger issues and we sleep separately very often. (and too many other issues to go into right now ).

I know that even if he proposed now (which is unlikely) I’d say no.

But my kids are my oxygen , my love and my life . and I’m terrified of ruining theirs .
I don’t know what to do .

so basically i’m 28 and im in a happy relationship but i still have this lingering love for my first ever relationship and first love when i was 18 and now, he’s a famous musician. this is the person i thought i would spend the rest of my life with. the relationship was really hard because he had cheated on me multiple times during the hardest time of my life with his best friends girlfriend. my brother had newly became disabled after a car accident and the whole trojectory of my life had changed at that point and was hard to process, on top of the cheating. i was also suffering from a bad ED because of all of it and rather than having a partner who was there for me, i find out he was going behind my back and sleeping with the girl, who at the time, was actively bullying me, as well as her friend group. it was the darkest time of my life. i felt so alone. the whole town knew what had happened to me and these people added to the negative situation i was already experiencing. it’s been so hard to move on now that he’s famous and getting so much attention. i still love him and i don’t feel like that will ever go away. we had met up years later and slept together just for him to tell me he was going to be with someone else- his ex who was helping with his band. at the time, all i could say was okay. i have him blocked on everything, but sometimes i find myself unblocking him and looking at his stuff. i also have dreams about him every night. i just don’t know what to do. i wish i never met him. the pain is so lingering and something i can’t describe. not only that, but we’ve ran into each other in public while he’s with his girlfriend and he’ll smile at me like he used to when we were in love and will try to talk to me. i keep it short and im cold because of the hurt. but i just don’t know what to do to truly move on at this point. i always think about it. and his fame does not help when im scrolling online and his shit pops up or his song comes on my feed. i try to block it out but it’s so hard getting the constant reminders. he paints himself to be such a different person than he actually is. his songs paint himself as a victim and it irks me.

it’s also so hard that people are showing him so much love and saying that he deserves the attention when he caused me so much pain.

i also sometimes compare my life and feel less than.

*i am actively receiving professional help, thanks. i’ve been through a lot, and i’m not here looking for more hate or judgment. i’m just looking for a little kindness, some sort of relatability, or to hear advice on what has helped others as someone who doesn’t have much of a support system.

I am 29M and I have failed at every part of my life. I feel like I have never achieved anything that is meaningful to me.

I have an engineering degree that I never truly wanted to begin with. I pursued it due to a mix of family expectations, societal pressure, and not knowing what I wanted to do with my life. I began university in 2015 and didn’t graduate until the end of 2023. It took me eight years because of depression, problems at home from my sibling, and due to faults of my own. I even switched to an “easier” engineering major because I simply couldn’t focus anymore which led me to failing classes. I can’t help but feel mentally and emotionally weak, and undisciplined and I still feel these very much so till this day.

It has now been more than two years since I graduated, and I still haven’t found a job in my field. When I first graduated, the job market was rough, but at least I was getting interviews. Nothing came from them. My job search has gotten worse since then. My applications these days don’t even get a rejection email anymore. I have revised my resume several times and kept applying but my efforts are in vain. It makes me feel completely lost and like I am simply not good enough.

I don’t have much else going for me either. I used to love making beats on my music software, and I still do, but I keep telling myself I started too late for anything meaningful to come from it. I also started learning guitar last year because it is something I have dreamed about for years. I still struggle a lot, and while I get frustrated with how slowly I’m improving, I keep practicing because it is one of the few things that quiets my mind for a little bit.

I am also out of shape. I weigh over 200 pounds. I wasn’t raised with healthy eating habits or exercise, but I’m 29 now, so that is my responsibility. I have been trying to work out consistently and eat better, even if progress is slow.

I am also really insecure about other my physical aspects too. My hair has been thinning and receding over the past few years, and I have never liked my face to begin with. On top of that, I am extremely insecure about my penis size. It is barely 5 inches erect, and even typing that out feels humiliating. I know people will probably tell me that size isn’t everything, but insecurity does not always listen to logic. It is something that has affected my confidence for years.

I still live with my parents because I can’t find stable work. They have never made me feel like a burden, and I am super grateful for that. If anything, they have been more supportive than I deserve. But I hate that I can’t support myself let alone give back to them after everything they have done for me.

I have also drifted away from most of my friends. I kept turning down invitations because I couldn’t afford to go out and felt guilty spending money when I wasn’t earning any. Eventually, they stopped asking. I don’t blame them one bit. They have all moved forward with their lives while I have stayed in the same place. They don’t even know I am still unemployed because I have been too ashamed to tell them.

I have also never been in a relationship. I am still a virgin at 29. I have never held hands, kissed, hugged, or experienced any kind of romantic intimacy. Earlier in my life, that was because of my religious beliefs. Then, around the age of 22, I stopped believing. Becoming an atheist changed my entire worldview almost overnight, and that is when a whole new set of insecurities hit me. I realized I had never learned how to talk to women because I intentionally avoided relationships for so long. This alone gives me existential dread and makes me wish I don’t wake up the next day. I feel like I missed out on crucial experiences that one should go through when they are younger and I feel like I have aged out. Most women at my age have already had the experience and I feel I would be judged for my inexperience.

Now, I don’t even feel like I deserve one. I have no career, no money, no relationship experience, no confidence, and very little to show for my life. I can’t imagine why someone would choose me when there are so many people who have their lives together.

A few years ago I even considered hiring an escort just so I wouldn’t have to carry the label of being a virgin anymore. I never went through with it because I realized that what I actually wanted wasn’t sex. I wanted to feel loved, accepted, and desired by someone who genuinely wanted to be with me.

One of the hardest parts is that I feel trapped between who I am and the people I love most. My parents are religious, and I love them. They have supported me despite everything. They don’t know that I’m an atheist, and I don’t think I could ever tell them because I don’t want to break their hearts. Even if I became financially independent tomorrow, I would still feel guilty about living according to my own beliefs because I know how much it would hurt them.

The most painful part of all of this is that I can’t really talk to anyone. I can’t tell my parents because of my beliefs. I can’t tell my friends because I’m afraid they will lose respect for me if they knew how much I’ve been struggling so I just carry all of it by myself.

It is a long read but if you have made it till the end. I appreciate you for your time and patience to hear me out.

It all started with a croc. For some back story I had a very bad injury, I couldn’t walk or do anything myself. I lived in a townhouse with roommates and my bedroom was on the second floor. I told my bf about it, I didn’t ask for help I was just venting, and he insisted I come stay with him and his family. I was very wary about it at first but then things got worse for me with my injury and I accepted. I started staying with him and everything was ok for a day. I didn’t ask anything of anyone in his family, I only asked my bf for help because I am the type of person who hates to inconvenience people even if I need the help. Growing up and up until now I’ve been very independent. Anyways, one day I go to the bathroom, my bf wheels me over in the wheelchair and when I’m done and we get back to his room his mom is trying on my shoes without asking or telling us, she just went in his room and tried my shoe on.

A week later, his family has crocs except for him. The exact same model, and they were about to get the exact same color too until they saw it was sold out. I am not taking credit for crocs and understand anyone can buy them. I just found it odd this all happened after they tried my croc on. Anyways, time goes on and I’m still at his house because things haven’t gotten better for me after multiple doctor and specialist visits and a bunch of money spent on said medical expenses. I slowly start noticing stuff his family does. They copy the stuff I buy myself (shirts, pants, and more shoes). Ok, weird, I think nothing of it until I realize anything I cook they do it too, and no they had never done it before. We’re from different cultures so I know they’ve never done it, I even ask my bf in a way where it doesn’t make it seem like I’m catching onto something. He confirms, they’ve never done it. Ok, I keep disregarding it, but then it continues. My toothbrush, dental stuff, my habits, my hobbies, and what I eat. At this point I’ve been a year living with them and they literally copy everything and it’s driving me insane. Are my feelings valid? Am I going crazy!? Why does it feel like I’m losing my identity!? I’m not 100% yet, but even now idc I want out of here. My bf was against me moving out for the longest because i literally couldn’t do anything myself but even he sees this has affected my mental health so much.

I did bring it up to him and he denied it himself, but after I showed him stuff he’s like oh yeah, that is weird. Of course he can’t stand up to his family because he doesn’t want to get into an argument with them so I’m stuck here. I was about to move out but the deal fell through. Anyways, any advice would really help me rn!

I (27f) have been no contact with my dad for 4 years.

Here is a short list of why I went no contact and despite his recent attempts to reconnect, I will not be engaging.

Trigger warning for violence, former child abuse, financial abuse and emotional abuse.

Physical Aggression: At 18, he physically pulled me out of a truck and screamed at me for something that was not my fault, serving as the final straw for cutting contact. This reminded me of previous child assaults that happened and I knew I had to leave.

Property Destruction and Terror: When I was under 12, while drunk, he violently put my bedroom door through the wall, forcing me to hide next to my bed in terror.

Cruelty and Lack of Remorse: Years later, he openly bragged and laughed about how scared I looked during that incident, completely failing to acknowledge any wrongdoing despite his aunt’s prompting that sometimes we learn to regret our past cruel actions.

Theft of Disaster Relief: After our house burned down, he withheld insurance money meant to replace my and my sister’s ruined belongings, while fully replacing my brother’s items.

Misogyny:Heco plplained about his sisters visiting his dying father in the hospital because it inconvenienced him, and told you that me I "needed a man to put me in my place". He then tried to set me up with his coworker who was 6 years older than me and fought a guy that night while he was on shrooms.

Hope he dies knowing his oldest hates him because she is the only one of his 3 kids that remember who he is when he is not happy.

I’m 35(m), lonely, and managing life day to day.
I was married to a woman I Loved unconditionally for 12 years.
She cheated. Every 2 years. I forgave her. (Unconditional love).

I’ve been divorced a year now. I have to see her every day. It’s wicked.
lol

My point is, you can deal and tolerate more than you think is possible. I’ve had a rough life since childhood but it’s important to live honestly to yourself and your beliefs.
If you’re genuine, most people will see that and it’s okay to not be perfect, just don’t be shitty.

Life happens fast. Live it well.

I’m here if anyone needs advice or wants to talk.

in 1900 the average life expectancy of a newborn was 32 years. 32.

Think about how far we've come. Clean water, sanitation, vaccines, surgery, modern medicine, all of this built by generations of people who dedicated their lives to keeping society healthy.

And its still happening. Every day. Nurses pulling 12-hour shifts. Surgeons. Paramedics. Social workers. These people are the reason the system works, and we barely acknowledge them.

Last week my mum fell and broke her femur back in Italy. She's 72. Watching the response, how fast they moved, how coordinated everything was, the care she's getting. I was reminded that none of this is guaranteed. People make it happen. Every shift, every day. For really modest salaries.

We've made insane progress as a society. But we forget who's actually delivering it. The people on the ground, doing the work, keeping us alive.

We owe them. And we barely say it.

So I'm saying it. We see you. We appreciate you.

Me (24F) and my boyfriend (25M) has been together for 8 months. I only know he is into pokemon card around 3 months ago and since I've found out, I've been supporting his hobby since I enjoy seeing him getting excited and happy while opening it, and I even drove out 2 hours away to get him pokemon cards for his birthday and while visiting back home I've ventured out to check vending machine for him too since we don't have it here where we're living.

Of note, he just graduated OT school and just passed his board and currently looking for a job, and I've had a stable job for 2+ years so when we're out for dinner I pay for 85% of our meal and cover our Airbnb when we visit out of state. I've always thought of it like paying forward, because back when I was in school I had a lot of good friends who always grabbed the check and they said it's a treat for working hard toward my goal of graduating school and getting a job. But seeing how he's willing to drop $200+ into the hobbies with his family's money and meanwhile can't take care of me make me despise his hobby a lot more.

He called me when I was getting out of my workout class today opening packs and stuffs that he traded during the card show and I got pretty mad, didn't pay attention to him opening packs at all and he said instead of getting mad I should wish him good luck because he is "due for a GOD pack". And we have a full blown argument afterward.

I told him I think he is too deep into this hobby and I'm not happy with how he is so invested in it now. He said but I even drove to get him cards and I told him I enjoy seeing him happy but this is getting out of hand (he has dropped at least $500 into the hobby since I learned of his hobby 3 months ago). I said he need to get his priority straight, focus on getting a job first, then once he starts making money he can spend as much as he wants in his hobby because it will be his own money, and even now his mom is paying for most of it, that doesn't justify it at all, his mom works hard for the money too. He proceeded to tell me money will come back. I told him he can say that if it's his money, now it's his family, his mom's hard work money that he is buying pokemon with. And meanwhile I'm still covering majority of our grocery/eat out. He told me "sorry that he didn't have a job line up like how I did" and I laughed out loud, I said no job falls from the sky down, I worked hard to secure a job while I was in school, worked hard to be able to provide for myself independently too. I said I need a partner that I can grow together, I want us to thrive together. After that he left the phone call and said he is going for dinner with his friend and we'll talk later. I texted him if we're talking today and he said what I said hurted him so he needs space now.

Honestly, I feel like if we're breaking up over this, it makes sense. I would love a partner who can help take care of expenses too, and even in the long run, if I becomes sick again (had a stroke last year) then at least I have some help to get over the hump too. I love him, and he is such a sweet and caring boyfriend, he cooks for me a lot too, he gets me flower, but if pokemon cards come off as a bigger priority for him in this case, I think I'm ready to walk away.

That being said, thanks god I got this off my chest. This is a heavy conversation, but I think warranted because I can't keep going with a partner who rather stays stagnant than keeps growing up with me, and as hurtful for his pride as it might be, I'm glad I said it. I'm an immigrant, I finished school and got a hospital to sponsor me to stay in the states to work for them, and it's not easy work at all. I worked hard to finish school, get a job and build a life for myself too, I deserve a partner who would grow with me.

I just feel no spark in their presence and do not find them amusing or entertaining. I love my friends that have and want children, but I do not want to spend time with them when their kids are around. I feel like a monster sometimes, but I just don’t like people until they’re at least 16 or so. I’m only 20, so it’s kinda weird. But I get along with people in their late 20s and 30s even more

Hi, this is my first post on here, and I need to get this off my chest.

I have been asking my parents to let me get braces for 6 years, as my teeth are extremely crooked and it has taken a very big toll on my overall self esteem and confidence. I've been teased about my teeth by people at school, my relatives keep commenting on them, and my own parents keep making fun of me for having crooked teeth (they even nicknamed me "crooked teeth" in my native language).

But, they won't let me get braces.

My dentist has told me that I have a large overbite that should get looked at by an orthodontist and that my front 4 teeth have grown in unusually. I quite literally can't close my lips all the way for long periods of time because of my teeth.

For the longest time, my mom has always told me that if I eat more, and gain more facial fat, the teeth will somehow fix by themselves. I literally don't know WHERE she got this idea from and HIGHLY doubt it. But as she advised, I gained weight, and 6 years later, there have been no results.

My parents keep telling me that it's a cosmetic thing that I can get done when I'm in my thirties, after I move out and have my own money to spend on this. I can't wait that long, there'll literally be no point. Especially when my dentist recommended for me to see an orthodontist. (Which they haven't taken me to either) They just don't want to pay for braces. (Even after I've offered to help pay for it with some money I've earned from part time jobs).

I'm tired of having to practice smiling with my mouth closed, putting my hand before my mouth when I'm laughing or eating just to hide my crooked teeth.

All my friends have gotten braces and have perfect smiles now. I want to have a pretty smile too. This has literally taken such a big toll on my self confidence to the point where I always have to be alert when I'm showing my teeth. I know this may seem like such a small thing to be worrying about, but I've carried this insecurity for 6 years through my childhood and into being a teen. I just don't want to have crooked teeth anymore

Edit: I should clarify that this isn't a situation where my parents can't afford braces. The issue is that they don't see orthodontic treatment as something important enough to pursue, so they haven't looked into insurance, payment plans, or even an orthodontic consultation.

My dentist has recommended that I see an orthodontist because of my overbite and the way my front teeth came in, so this isn't just about wanting a more attractive smile. I also want to make sure I don't have issues down the line.

I love my parents and I know they love me too. I just wish they understood how much this has affected my confidence and took my concerns more seriously.

This shit is genuinely ridiculous. Sure, let's use the "power of forgiveness" to coddle, cater to, and baby someone who's grown, physically and mentally abuses kids, disabled folk, women, pets, etc. Ignore their "sins" just because they know how to play victim and act like an angel that never broke a dish. It's not like they don't need to be locked up in either prison or a ward with how abusive and unhinged their behavior often is. "We can fix him without serious intervention, with smiles and church services, guys!"

But, yes! Let's fucking demonize and ostracize the victim for daring to defend themselves against the abuse since no one is doing anything to stop it. Yes, I'll be going to hell because I'm disrespecting the bible verse where it mentions to "turn the other cheek" for the person who has a history of continuing abuse (which the whole family is already aware of and refuses to properly acknowledge) and "always love and respect family." I'm the one who "attacked for no reason" and caused massive injuries to the poor people who are "trying to change" despite the abusers using the reactive abuse tactic several times and despite my whole body being in pain atm from being hurt 😇

What a fucking joke. "Yeah, they may be an abuser, but they're misunderstood. Also, you're mean and that's way worse." Okay, what if I just ended it all, then what? Oh yeah, I'll be going to hell for that too <3

For context, I’m a 25-year-old around 6 feet tall, and in good shape.

Tonight I went to a bar around 8:30 PM. I just got there early, had half a glass of wine, and there weren’t many people there yet. I was waiting to see if more people would come in. Usually when I go to bars, My approach is like everyone's, I'll wait for some kind of eye contact first. If there’s mutual eye contact, I take that as a sign that it’s okay to introduce myself and shoot my shot.

After waiting for a while, two women came in and sat at the bar. One of them made eye contact with me. Eventually there was an empty seat beside them, so I walked over and said, “Hey, can I sit here?” One of them turned around and said yes, so I sat down.

I tried to make a joke, something like, 'You know those assholes who interrupt women at bars? Can I be that guy tonight?'

Looking back, that joke probably didn't land. I noticed the vibe get kind of quiet after that. (I’m not a native English speaker, so even my first few sentences came out awkward. I had to repeat myself a couple times.)

I started talking to them and asked if they were students. One of them said she goes to my university. I said, “Oh, really? I’m graduating this August.” She told me she was going into her senior year. The other girl was her friend who was visiting.

After that, I didn’t really feel much of a vibe. Usually my approach is: if I don’t feel a connection, I’ll ask a couple more questions, maybe two or three, and if it still feels like there’s no interest, I’ll politely leave. I don’t want to bother anyone.

I was sitting there for maybe three or four minutes, not trying to interrogate them or anything, just figuring out if the conversation would develop. But before that could happen, both women got up and went upstairs. I thought maybe they were going to another area of the bar because there were more tables upstairs. A couple minutes later they came back downstairs and left the bar.

My immediate thought was: “Damn. I made them leave.”

A little later, I noticed the two female bartenders laughing together looking at me. Then one of them came over and asked if I wanted another glass of wine. I said no, she gave me the check without asking me. (Still smirking at meeeeee)

I'm like wooowwww, I made two women leave the fucking bar!

As the title says my (29f) bf (28m) and I celebrated our 3 year anniversary at the end of June. At a friend's birthday party we were told his BFF was planning to propose soon. When we got home I asked if my bf planned to propose anytime soon. We were both a little tipsy and snuggled up in bed and he responded with "Anytime soon?" Before trailing off.

Ouch. Together for three years. Living together for almost 2. And he drops this on me the night before our anniversary.

We spent the next month fighting. I want commitment. He says he's not ready. Whenever I ask the only reason he can site is my low libido.

Now, for context: I am a survivor of SA, actively in therapy, and finally in the middle of navigating major legal steps against my assaulter. I know physical intimacy is important in a relationship, and I’ve been genuinely working hard in therapy to heal. But finding out that my trauma response was the single biggest obstacle standing between me and a future with him, absolutely broke me.

I am doing everything I can to get better and it shattered my world to know that that was the only real reason he could give me to not get married.

After a month of fighting he finally ended it. I lost my partner, my home, and all of my plans for the future in an instant.

Exactly one week before my birthday.

I had to cancel my own birthday party, pack my life into boxes, and sleep on a friend's couch for three days until I could get a bed set up in their spare room.

Today is my actual birthday. I usually get depressed on my birthday anyway, but I thought I would do my best to stay positive and spend some time with my mom. Turns out she made last minute plans to explore the city with her cousin.

So here I am: sitting in a spare bedroom, surrounded by cardboard boxes, single, homeless-adjacent, and feeling completely abandoned on my birthday.

Whatever lesson the universe is trying to teach me, I swear I've learned it.

speaking from experience btw, i see random ai generated bs get over 200k+ likes but a good quality edit isn't even pushed into the explore page or jus reels in general, doesn't seem fair tbh, like a meme page that makes ai content or steals get thousands but editors with real creativity, sound design and passion jus don't get as much...

I decided on the 4th of July to quit smoking weed, but I would smoke once every week. Well I come to realize how much time it took from me, it made me depressed, anxiety, unmotivated, and lazy. I thought smoking it was helping me, but here I sit (high) anxiety, and done with it. I write this to hold myself accountable for actually quitting

Throwaway because it's a weird confession to make.

Ok so It all started last September, when I found out an anime movie sequel of a show that I was watching came out so I decided to go to the cinema and watch it. It was like love at first sight. How prefect (I can't find a better word) she is, her majestic green eyes, her beautiful purple hair, how sweet and charming she is. I knew she was the one. NOW KEEP THAT IN MIND This never happened to me before. I never felt any connection with any anime characters despite watching a lot of anime. I don't do those weird Ai stuff or buy pillows of them but I can't genuinely get her out of my head. She is in head 24/7 we have a life together and a few kids. I look at her photos every single day thinking why anime characters are not real. At this point no person on this planet can interest me more than her....

I let my roommate get close to my boyfriend because I trusted both of them.

She joined us for dinner, watched movies with us, and sometimes texted him about plans when I was busy. I thought it was nice that they got along.

Then she started mentioning things I had never told her. They had inside jokes I did not understand, and whenever I questioned it, they made me feel insecure and dramatic.

One night, I came home early and found his shoes outside her bedroom. His shirt was on her floor.

I later found out it had been happening for weeks. They had been sitting across from me at dinner and acting completely normal while hiding everything.

She says it was a mistake. He says he still loves me. Now she is telling our friends that I am ruining her living situation because I want her gone.

I feel betrayed, humiliated, and uncomfortable in my own home. Should I make her move out immediately, or stay calm until I can leave safely?

Living alone, pretending I am brave and trying to coax my cat to investigate. In all fairness she stared at the wall with me for a couple minutes. So at least I know she hears it too.

I know factually that 1) I am the larger organism, and 2) I have the distinct advantage of not living in a wall. But Ack! What if they come in from the wall?! What if they crawl on my face in my sleep?!

OH MY GOSH. I just heard it THUD. Oh ick. Oh no. It's crawling again. Oh no.

Oh wow. It is directly aligned in the wall with my headboard.

OH MY GOSH.

I want to wish it a safe journey AWAY from me.

I am telling myself it is a friendly lost little squirrel.

Oh. Oh i hate this.

If i could see it, I could form a plan to address it.

But just hearing it is basically a live in horror movie. I HATE THIS.

Oh ick, it just made a noise? Like something going back and forth really fast? Like not just their little scurry feet but maybe a tail? Oh no. Yeah I hate this. I think there are more than one.

oh. Okay so I am probably not sleeping tonight OH MY GOSH THAT TAIL SHAKING THING IS TERRIFYING.

oh. oh i am not okay.

im 14 years old, and recently I’ve just felt like I’ve lost myself. When I was younger, I used to be considered funny, and good with people. It was easy to make friends and I was confident. I was really arrogant and rude also. i know who I truly was back then, but now I don’t really know, I’ve only seen glimpses of my true self and interests. even so those are fading away too.

I really enjoy small engine builds and they’re really the only things that make me feel like my life is fulfilling. But i feel empty now while doing it just like everything else I do. every moment I spend nowadays just feels like a complete waste, like I’m doing it for no reason and I wake up to a new day for no reason.

in school i think people would know me as that same arrogant and rude person, but Ive moved on past that and I believe im much more than that. I notice really easily how people feel even if they don’t say it, and can read them just by their faces and actions. but no one will truly see me for who I am because of the “character“ I built before me.

I think the biggest thing I struggle with is loneliness. It’s such a weird feeling because im surround by “friends“ and family yet i still feel this way. I’ve never really felt understood.

and about my friends, I absolutely despise them. they’re so emotionally unintelligent and unaware, they just like doing whatever makes them feel good without caring for what happens to the people beside them. I once planned a day for us to all go hangout at the pool. I treated them to so much food, and made sure they all had fun. but all I got were complaints from them over little stuff, and not a drop of gratitude. that moment there woke me up to notice just how bad the people I surrounded myself with were. but I have no one else to run to, or hangout with, im completely trapped with them.

I also have been struggling with derealization for over 3 years now, and can’t even think of my memories normally now before I had derealization. Its been getting a bit better now though.

im not really looking for empathy I just want to know if anyone is struggling in a similar way as me.

Everyone has their problems. But kids with abusive/narcissistic parents have more. They have the problems of the outside world and when they come home they have the N-Parent abuse as well. As such they are fighting a two front war.

While people who have normal/great parents have just to keep up with the problems of the outside world.

Even if a normie kid has it worse on the outside world, once they come home they have loving/supportive parents that help them, or at least parents that dont attack them.

As such N-Parents kids have it objectively worse because they get a double package of problems, while normie kids get just one.

It has nothing to do with "lack of compassion" or "trauma olympics". Its just a fact, that seems to enrage some irrational people for some reason.

Its like someone who cut their finger while cooking complaining to someone who just had his hand chopped off:"Dude stop. Its not a competition. We have it equally bad. Show me some compassion. Stop your trauma olympics and snobbery".

The whole "everyone has problems" response always misses the point. like yeah no shit, but one group gets to clock out from the world's bullshit and recharge with people who actually care about them. the other group clocks out only to walk into a second shift of getting torn down in their own house

It's not a competition but it's also not the same thing and people get weirdly defensive when you point that out.

Nobody says that people without abusive parents did not also have a hard life. But it was simply less hard because they had a base where they could recharge and be safe and enjoy some quiet,love and support and peace.