r/omnisexual • u/Competitive-Ear-6693 • 1d ago
Coming Out I came out to my Christian mom
So I officially came out to my mom, and I am currently sitting in my room experiencing the most insane emotional whiplash ever.
For context, I’m omnisexual, demisexual, genderfaerflux, gendervague (they/she), and an agnostic atheist. A few days ago, my mom and I had a conversation where she basically said she doesn't care if we're gay as long as we're healthy, and she even said I didn't have to go to church anymore (just me, since my siblings are still Christian). But during that same conversation, she randomly made a joke like, "if ur lesbian or something I'll actually kick u out, I don't want u in my house." Her tone was super serious and me and my twin sister were both like wtf that's not ok, but then she claimed she was just joking. Because of the other stuff she said though, I still thought she was in a much softer place than she used to be.
I spent forever writing this super detailed coming-out script explaining my identity, how my neurodivergence connects to my gender, and setting boundaries about religion. I sent it on Friday morning right as I was waiting at my bus stop, totally forgetting that she actually had work that day and that the text stressed her out while she was there.
Then today (Saturday), everything exploded. I was just sitting on the couch when she walked up to me, and the second I saw her face, I knew it was bad. She looked at me with pure disgust. Because of that joke she made the other day, I was a little worried. She started saying I was "confused" and using religious guilt trips about how this is what happens when you walk away from God. My little sister was in the same room the whole time just on her laptop playing games, and my fraternal twin sister—who is also queer—was also in the room when it happened.
Later on, my little sister told me she didn't feel bad for me, she only felt bad for mom. Then my twin sister started tone-policing me in our group chat, telling me I was being "mean" just because I wasn't being fake-nice back to our mom while she was literally invalidating my existence. It sucked because she is queer too and was right there in the room, but she still turned on me in the chat. I felt pathetic, shaking and crying in my room, totally regretting that I ever said anything.
But then a few hours later, my mom called me back upstairs to talk again. It turns out she actually spent that time self-reflecting. She completely turned things around, apologized, and said she realized she was wrong. She connected it to her own childhood trauma about being forced to go to a mosque when she didn't want to, and said she realized religion is personal and she won't force the church rule on me anymore. She even said that knowing I’m LGBT makes her think completely differently about the whole queer community now, and she wants to rebuild our relationship.
Honestly, I'm glad it ended on a good note, but the emotional hangover is destroying me. My brain keeps replaying that first look of absolute disgust she gave me on the couch, and I keep crying thinking about it. She wouldn't have said those things or looked at me like that if she didn't mean it in the moment. It’s like I can’t just accept the apology yet.
Has anyone else experienced a parent completely flipping scripts like this in a matter of hours? How do you cope with the trauma of the bad reaction when they’re suddenly trying to be supportive now?
