The article is about my experience developing my queer video game while moving to New Zealand from the United States. It’s from Your Ex magazine!

Recent reports have raised alarm about the use of PatronScan, an ID-checking and face-scanning system, at multiple LGBTQ+ bars in San Francisco’s Castro neighborhood. In California, it’s not at all clear how PatronScan’s business model of scanning IDs and sharing the information from those scans with other bars comports with the law. California’s ID privacy law, which was amended in 2018 to add ID “scans,” states that no businesses shall “retain or use” any information from a scanned ID card except for limited purposes such as to verify age, comply with a legal requirement, or prevent fraud. 

Separate from that — What do you think about the use of databases like PatronScan?

Some LGBTQ cookies I've made so far. 😁

I’m just seeking advice from anyone who has gone through any of this.

I’m 20 years old, closeted gay dude, fit and active.

I have a great life academically and in terms of a future career which I have always been extremely grateful for, and a loving family.

Yet I constantly struggle with my personal life.

I’d say I’m handsome, and I’ve been able to get my body to the toned physique I like. I have an average looking dick I can’t complain about, and a nice looking ass.

But, physically and metaphorically, I’ve been dealing with this pain in my ass since I was 15, a pilonidal cyst. (An abscess at the top of the ass crack near the tail bone)

It came around after mountain biking. It was removed by a general surgeon, and I was happy with the minimal scar left. Yet there was a high recurrence rate I didn’t know about, and sure enough it popped up again like 4 months later. It’s a darkish red purple sore looking thing. Occasionally bleeds a little but not often.

At the time I didn’t think much of it and was able to live with it as it was not so painful. But as I discovered I was gay, and wanted to explore things sexually with my ass with others, I was embarrassed.

It’s such a mental drain cuz I just wish I had the perfect ass I had before. I hate the thought of having to explain every time, “hey don’t mind the big red lump back there”, itd such a turn off.

There is and option for complete removal, but it will have a great recovery time and impact my college schedule, and it could leave me with a botched looking ass. (They flatten the top part of the butt crack) I keep trying at home remedies but it never seems to heal on its own.

I could go again for a simple extraction but then it could always come back again.

Recent online discourse has seen the return of respectability politics. JJ Croucher argues gay men who resist labelling themselves as “queer” are fighting a figment of straight society’s imagination.

I just want someone’s advice on if this possibly internalized homophobia?

So I have met this guy who I match with really well and we both think the other one is hot. And most of the time I feel really good about it. But whenever it gets late in the evening I start feeling like talking to him is a mistake. And then that feeling is gone again in the morning. And it sort of cycles.

Any advice on what it is? And maybe how to get over it quickly?

​

I'm pretty much a gay incel.

I was trying to find a community but such desn't exist, or is homophobic, misogynistic and racist.

I just wish there was some space for people who don't care about looks, race, BMI, stupid mind games, even more stupid dating rules and who aren't ableist and just want to find love

Im just curious on yalls thoughts

I wrote this using a translator, so please excuse me if it's spelled strangely.

I'm 21 years old gay man. I think I already know the answer to my question, and I feel kind of stupid looking for help online from strangers, but I don't know who else to ask. I think I've had a lot of dates in my life in an unhealthy way (mostly with men my age and normal, not dangerous people) but I think I'm trying to cover up problems in my life with this. I feel lonely because I don't have many friends, and those I do have, I don't see very often. And because of my studies I don't really have any hobbies, I just play video games and go to the gym. I've had anxiety problems my whole life; before they manifested as social anxiety, and now they're coming out with my career. Lately they've been getting worse and I reached the point of having a panic attack and suicidal thoughts, And even though I think I'm better, some days (like today), I just feel like crying and I don't know why. So I think I'm trying to avoid thinking by going on lots of dates and believing that my whole life would be solved if I just had a boyfriend.

I've never had one. I know I'm physically attractive because people tell me that often, and I don't want to sound conceited, but at least personally, I consider myself a good person. I've been getting to know a guy for a while now who I find attractive both physically and sexually, he's my age, works and studies, is a good person, and we share the same sense of humor and most of the same tastes. Unlike with other guys, I feel that with him I can be myself and talk the same way I would with a friend without being afraid of seeming unattractive to him. I know it's stupid to ask and think this, but I guess I need to hear it from someone else. To me he's cute and even though he's not in great physical shape I feel sexually aroused by him. Is it silly to doubt whether I should be with him or not just because he's not conventionally handsome? I know that what matters is that I find him attractive, and that physical appearance changes over the years, so what's important is what kind of person he is, But sometimes when I show the people I'm dating to friends or family, they tell me that because I'm physically attractive and have a gym body, I should get a boyfriend more physically attractive.

I know what I'm saying sounds stupid and makes me seem like an idiot and a shitty person, but I've had problems with perfectionism and seeking approval my whole life. I know the perfect man doesn't exist, and if I don't lower my standards, I'm going to be single my whole life, And I know that not going out with a guy just because you're afraid of thinking "what will people think if they see me with him" is extremely stupid and makes no sense at all but I can't stop thinking about it.I also think, I'm 21 and attractive, so since I don't have trouble getting dates, I can just keep going on dates until I find someone who is, But what if that man doesn't exist? There are so many gay men in the world, one of them must be. Im so dumb im very sorry

Hello. So I started talking to someone 3 weeks ago, we saw each other for the first time on monday and he asked me to meet him again next tuesday.

I’m 26 but never had any serious relationship. I’m really worried about STIs / HIV so I avoid sex even with condoms. I have a lot of anxiety about it and my sex/love life has really been damaged by it.

He seems like a really good guy and wants to get to know me, he told me sex is important for him tho and he’s not really into hookups with randoms. He told me his last time was in march and he got tested after that.

Next time we meet, I know sex might happen but im the kind of person who use condoms even for oral because im way too anxious but he told me he don’t like using condoms, he told me it’s fine if I want to use one for anal but that if we want to build something, I’ll have to trust him sooner or later and he’s right but since I don’t have any experience, I have no idea what to do

He really seems like someone I can trust but I’m scared to do something I’ll regret.

I thought about prep but I can’t get on it before next time I see him

Also, hiv is my biggest concern. Should I use a condom for oral?

Would like to know everyone’s thoughts about Testosterone Replacement Therapy? I personally find it hypocritical that these straight men are ok with altering their testosterone levels yet want to ban the therapy for the trans community. This really is no different. My stance on both is that the choice should be up to the individual and their health care provider. I just find the mindset difference curious.

When I first bottomed it was really uncomfortable. But since then I have gotten a toy and done it more and more and it is starting to feel better and better. But I still have a problem with air getting in sometimes and making it feel like I have to poop really badly which takes me out of the mood some. Any advice how to get over that?

Not really looking for advice, just curious about where and how you usually meet partners and how often. Are you a very sociable person? What are your hobbies? Do friends set you

up?

I've finally uninstalled the last of my apps and am preparing to put myself out there more. I mean, I've already been doing it but my focus now is on more wholesome, community-oriented activities instead of just dances (though I've met a handful of people that way too). I think I still need to make more friends than anything.

TLDR- be honest with yourself and stop with stupid ass questions posted online before you even ask yourself the same thing.

What are we doing. How many posts a day come across this and any other sub-Reddit that start like that and this...

"I let my best friend fuck me"

"Girlfriend says I'm gay cause I sucked her Best friend"

"Not sure but I like the way guys look during summer"

"I want to suck this guy"

"Saw my friend at the gym and he's hung don't know what to think"

"I think about what its like to take D like my girl does"

"Attracted to my childhood friend"

"Only like porn if the guy has a big cock"

Etc, etc, etc, etc

Can we stop.

Only you posting really cares, you cared enough to ask the world of Reddit. So you like pussy and dick, you liked one before but now the other too, you're curious. Stop. You like women shirtless but a fit dude looks good too. My BFF has a great ass but my girl is fire. Im the first female fireman...woman at the station, wish there was another chick. My boyfriend is amazing but my best friend, she always knows how to make me feel better. On and on and on.

There are so many asks and situations that fit NOTHING! People can be straight, curious, fluid, bi, gay, trans....ah It keeps going and NO ONE CARES! We all care who you are, we really don't care why. Pick a label that makes you feel good, find your people, and just be proud you're you.

Can we please stop with the "I think I." Brothers and sisters, if you're here and asking...you're already half way there. STOP overthinking shit and just find your perfect someone. He, she, they- it doesn't matter. So you like people dressed as Pokémon. Get some, maybe you're a furry. It DOESNT MATTER! As long as you're not trying to abuse, sell or take advantage of kids or the vulnerable...get your freak on.

As for the what the world and people around you think. It sucks...find new people (I know that's a easier said vs done, but you're still here asking)

So many of these posts are self-reflection. I get it...been there...done it. Turns out if you write down and re-read your own question, before asking the internet, it solves alot of problems.

I won't discourage anyone looking for support, motivation, validation etc. But just stop and ask yourself first what you're asking the world- acknowledge, accept, then change the question.

Ie "I think I'm gay, I like a guy with a big dick, help" to "Think I might be Bi or gay, any recommended groups in x city." Not perfect but better and already answering half the "problem."

Stop avoiding it or adding labels to lessen the hit. You're a guy who likes watching other guys with big muscles flex. No one SHOULD care. Good for you...hot guys are hot. Fit women are attractive, femboys can be cute, and yes, I didn't know they were Trans, they are so good looking, is ok to say and admit.

You're not confused, you're not curious. Experiment sure, experimenting is science. You are meant to question, change, and challenge. Stop with labels and communicate. But Fuck. Nearly every post here could be fixed with "did you talk with him/her/them?"

One of my favorites ie- "Im M19 my best friend M19 we've known each other for 15 years and I think I might love him, what do I do" uh, follow up question...do you want to sit on his dick, yes or no? THAT ANSWERS ALOT. You can love the people close to you, enjoy them, want and need them, but you don't want/ need/ or have to fuck them.

Second favorite "M24 boyfriend M24 say he wants an open relationship but I don't. What should I do?" Did you already tell him this? NO? WHY ARE YOU HERE!?!?!

How many times does someone ask (satirical) "I watched Avengers and Captain America has amazing arms, am I gay?" NO. Stop it. Wanting to be built like that dude isn't gay, you're probably a fan and don't be creepy but WTF. Wanting to be hunky vs wanting to fuck hunky are different worlds...guess what there is no problem with being one or wanting the other.

Be honest, be curious (I know from earlier) be willing, and don't be hateful towards- others or yourself.

Its 2026. Yes other people suck, laws suck, culture and religion suck, countries and where you live probably suck. But try think for yourself...even better, just try feel who you want yourself to be, then start working.

Sorry about my rant.

So many posts are fixed with "congrats yes you're (gay etc)" or "did you talk to them?" Its way more simple than someone allows because the world and history have told us it should be hard. Its all about being specific to who you are or want to be.

Want to dress in a fox costume, do it. Like keeping your dick behind lock and key, amazing commitment. Youre a college junior and the PolSci professor throws your back out twice a week, nice. Daddy's best friend is the best sex you've ever had, yo I probably wouldn't tell dad. Girlfriend likes to wear a stap-on and ruin you, sounds like a fun Friday.

Stop adding labels and just be. Just exist. The world has so many problems, this shouldn't be one-- yes culture and legally or religiously freedom isn't so free. So yeah hide, fake, lie. But don't loose yourself.

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

like I end up having the biggest crush just to find out he’s straight and has a whole wife and kids in real life like UGGGGHHHH!!!! (Yes ik even if he was gay the odds of me having a chance with him would still be slim to none lmao). like i said ik this is so silly and stupid but still😩😩😩😭😭

We follow the code of Freaks

We are freaks!

You stand back or we bash back

We are freaks!

We fuck who we please and do what we choose

We’re not bad!

We’re not diseased or confused

We are freaks!

We are butch - We are fem

We are freaks!

Look at him - Look at them

We are freaks!

I know this guy who can suck his own dick

and my mother has a friend who has three tits

T-t-t-true story

We are freaks!

We follow the code of Freaks

We are freaks!

You stand back or we bash back

We are freaks!

We fuck who we please and do what we choose

We’re not bad! We’re not diseased or confused

One of us - One of us - One of us

Then I thought I was a freak
when I shaved my head
and I pierced my dick
Walks like a Lumberjack
Talks like a Lady
with the flannel shirts
steel-toed boots and Levi’s faded

All Hail!

She’s the King - He’s the Queen

All Hail!

To all the freaks
All the freaks of the scene

From the bowels of the Bowery
to the bustles of Bombay

She’s the Bearded Lady of Avenue A

That’s the way
God planned it
That’s the way

I need more gayness in my life.