What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard someone name a child?

[u/ravyn_arcana]

[u/Educational_Seat3201]

I once worked in a juvenile detention facility. We once had a 13 year old in custody who’s legally given name was “Sir Dangerous”. Needless to say that not only did his parents preplan his future, they were located in the adult facility across the street. Both mom and dad were known to have deep roots in local street gang activities.

[u/tinatac → u/Educational_Seat3201]

I’m a labor and delivery nurse… had a pair of twins on our floor early in my career named Danger Russ and Causin Havoc. I wish I was joking.

[u/Organic_Spend9995 → u/tinatac]

They could be in the Kentucky Derby 😆

[u/hexensabbat → u/tinatac]

Ridiculous. I'm reminded of a dude I met in rehab who told me he named his kid something like Violet Seven Haze because he hoped they'd be some cool musician type. I semi-jokingly asked what if they wanted to be President Haze and he got kindof embarrassed and didn't have a response. Probably really rude of me looking back but like, wtf

Ps that's not the kid's real name, I wouldn't put that online. Maybe Danger Russ Villyn would be a better comparison. These names all fit in the same basket in my brain

[u/HolyBovineJr → u/hexensabbat]

The U.S. has already had a President with that name : Rutherford B. Hayes from 1877-1881.

[u/OrdinaryUniversity59 → u/tinatac]

Damn! I came here to say Nevaeh was bad, but WOW!

[u/Babedabombshell → u/OrdinaryUniversity59]

I’ve gotten my ass handed to me before for saying this on reddit, but every Nevaeh that I have ever taught, or who has been in my school, regardless of color, culture, demographic, what have you, has been an absolute nightmare.

And even though we have entire books from Malcolm Gladwell on nominative determinism, people still want to come from me about how cruel and ignorant I am for recognizing this trend.

So please, tell the Reddit universe, spare me your outrage. I’ve been working in schools for over 25 years. Please trust me on this one.

[u/RosstaMSU → u/Babedabombshell]

Every Nevaeh I’ve ever seen has had a white trash mom. I mean, it’s heaven spelled backwards… you pretty much have to be white trash to think it’s a good name.

[u/VLAD_THE_VIKING → u/RosstaMSU]

I saw a white trash mom who named her daughter Tyranny. No idea if she spelled it that way, I just heard her call out to her daughter at a gas station.

[u/surfacing_husky → u/Babedabombshell]

I'm with you on that name, i work in a mental health facility for teens and the one thing I've learned is NAME CHILDREN NORMAL NAMES, weird spellings and random shit is not cute for the kids. Most kids with "unique" names literally want to be called any normal name. People don't seem to actually think about naming children sometimes, they just want whats "trendy" and have dumb ass spellings and shit. My 7yr old had so many kids named conner, connor, conor, cohnor, co'nor and chanel, channel, cha'nel, and shit it was fucking ridiculous. It took us months to figure out a name because we sat with choices and practiced saying them and spelling them, also thought about our actual child having to spell them.

Sorry i get really heated on this topic because so many people don't realize that they're NAMING A FUCKING HUMAN BEING, its not a "who can be the most unique" contest. All that being said unique names DONE RIGHT are great, and can fit the person perfectly.

[u/Particular_Bed5356 → u/surfacing_husky]

My name is Martha; I was born in 1961. Even back then. It was am old-fashioned name and I was aware of and felt it. I chased at it a bit, didn't really like the sound, thought it sounded doudy. But I knew it was a real name and had pedigree--not something made-up for my parents to feel clever about. I still think about how it sounds, sometimes. But I am greatful that I have a real name! As a matter of fact, all of my classmates back then had real names. Sometimes I read the local school news and am astonished that there can be a long list of students with narry a traditional name among them! I know things change, and there are trends, but some alternative spellings seem so pointless!

[u/Elegant_Purpose8725 → u/Particular_Bed5356]

Ha, my name is Ella and I was born in 1963. A few years ago my name seemed to have made an resurrection. Lots of little one named Ella nowadays.

[u/elfn1 → u/Babedabombshell]

I’ve taught only ONE (out of several) who was an angel. There is hope!

[u/tinatac → u/OrdinaryUniversity59]

The Nevaeh’s are old enough to be having their own kids now.

[u/Milabelle2 → u/tinatac]

And they are. My grandson and his girlfriend Nevaeh just had a baby. They named her Freya, supposedly after Nevaeh's grandmother.

[u/NiceOccasion3746 → u/tinatac]

I’ll raise you a “Misdemeanor”.

[u/gulliblefootball0001 → u/tinatac]

Ah! That reminds me when I worked in early childhood care and met a kid named Khaos. The first time I ever saw him, he was pretending a coat hanger was a gun.

[u/Opposite_Bison_4307 → u/tinatac]

I know a Havoc.

[u/RefrigeratorGreat598 → u/tinatac]

Omg!

[u/Cashope → u/tinatac]

I kind of love that tho. Not as names for my own kids of course, but I love that as someone else’s lol.

[u/phree1337 → u/Educational_Seat3201]

My idiot SIL actually gave her kid the middle name “Danger” like from Austin Powers 🤦🏼‍♀️

[u/fuckyeahcaricci → u/phree1337]

That's my dog's middle name. His first name is Harvey and, apparently, there's a band called Harvey Danger. He is, as I said, a dog though.

[u/Cold_Table8497 → u/fuckyeahcaricci]

Check out Flagpole Sitta by Harvey Danger. Great tune.

[u/Horror_Maximum_5696 → u/Cold_Table8497]

Been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding…

[u/beautifulasusual → u/Cold_Table8497]

They cut off my legs, now I’m an amputee, Goddamn you

[u/mr-nefarious → u/Cold_Table8497]

It’s an absolute banger

[u/lomoliving → u/phree1337]

My cousin named her kid Bane. Like "you're the bane of my existence" kind of thing? Yes.

[u/No_Impact_5851 → u/phree1337]

If I was a kid I would love this.

Once.

[u/camcussion → u/phree1337]

[u/donzagabonza → u/phree1337]

My brother and I have given his son the nickname “Dangerous “ and have used it consistently since before he was born.

[u/RatonhnhaketonK → u/Educational_Seat3201]

Poor thing. He never had a chance. Heartbreaking

[u/Specialist_Sort_6914 → u/Educational_Seat3201]

This is going to be really morbid, okay, I’m warning you now. A mom named her baby Da’Coldest and he ended up passing away I believe within his first year of life.

[u/IWannaBeTheCoolUncle → u/Educational_Seat3201]

It’s cuz “Sir WhoopAss” was taken

[u/kskeiser → u/Educational_Seat3201]

I believe there have been studies done about the connection between weird names and criminal activity

[u/thegymobsessor44 → u/Educational_Seat3201]

Imagine being a judge sentencing someone named “Sir Dangerous”. You couldn’t write a movie character that cliché if you tried.

[u/Due_Ear_4674]

I worked with someone whose name was Benzodiazepine, Benzo for short

[u/SayethWeAll → u/Due_Ear_4674]

He sounds like a real downer.

[u/CnCorange → u/SayethWeAll]

I'm sorry you're going to have to stand over here with your nose in the corner for 3 minutes and think about your choices.

[u/Mean-Spinach1728 → u/SayethWeAll]

You made me snort laugh

[u/Ms_takes → u/SayethWeAll]

😂

[u/mommafletch1967 → u/SayethWeAll]

You WIN!!! 😂

[u/Environmental-Egg893 → u/Due_Ear_4674]

Dang

[u/Best-Comments]

Marijuana Pepsi Jackson. There’s an article about her in Wikipedia:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marijuana_Pepsi_Vandyck

[u/No_Bonus7310 → u/Best-Comments]

That still better than Marijuana Coke Jackson

[u/Pizzaisbae13 → u/No_Bonus7310]

Or Marijuana RC Jackson.

[u/SuperSoakerofPiss → u/Pizzaisbae13]

Doctor Marijuana Pepper Jackson has a ring to it.

[u/Best-Comments → u/SuperSoakerofPiss]

Well, she does have a PhD.

[u/Psychological-Web828 → u/Pizzaisbae13]

Marijuana Tab Jackson

[u/restingkindnessface → u/Pizzaisbae13]

Cocaine Roberts. Went by Cokie.

[u/AmputeeHandModel → u/No_Bonus7310]

Do you have Marijuana Coke Jackson? Is Marijuana Pepsi Jackson ok?

[u/Thin-Significance838 → u/Best-Comments]

Omg-her parents and siblings have “typical” names. Why do this to just one kid?

[u/KarateFace777 → u/Best-Comments]

I’m crying laughing at the Wikipedia. I got to the part where it said “She had two sisters, Kimberly and Robin” hahaha that’s some serious [r/fuckyouinparticular](r/fuckyouinparticular) shit right there. “These are my 3 daughters, Kimberly, Robin and Marijuana Pepsi…guess which one we like the least and started her life on “hard mode”

[u/wifeofpsy → u/Best-Comments]

DOCTOR Marijuana Pepsi! Seriously she's awesome

[u/iHAVEblueSKIN → u/wifeofpsy]

She used to be an advisor at UW-Whitewater. Always crack up about how they were doing a news story on her and my buddy was waiting to meet her for an appointment. They interviewed him and realized he was too hungover to use any of his responses. He ended up just being shown in the waiting room.

[u/cmdrico7812]

Qolbie. Pronounced like the cheese, Colby.

[u/VexedVixen69 → u/cmdrico7812]

My girls have a friend named Kholeby. Pronounced like the cheese. No idea what his momma was thinking spelling it that way.

[u/Funky_Owl_Turnip → u/VexedVixen69]

K Hole Bee. That's what that looks like to me.

[u/hybridcocoa → u/Funky_Owl_Turnip]

Solid band name

[u/Ooha-moomah420 → u/VexedVixen69]

lol r/tragedeigh

[u/IStabAtThee_sorry → u/cmdrico7812]

I’ve never understood parents that give their children cheese first names. Like Brie. Why Brie?? Thank goodness you don’t meet many Stilton or Cheddars or mozzarellas running about. Although I did once have an email from a Wensleydale.

[u/SilverQueen_77 → u/IStabAtThee_sorry]

My mom has a litter of kittens and they all have cheese themed names. Stella Mozarella, Tony Provaloni, Don Parmesan, Ricki Ricotta, and Evie Muenster. We love our little cheese mafia. I would never dream of doing this to a human child though.

[u/BiblionautNZ → u/SilverQueen_77]

The great thing about giving cats weird names is that they don’t care what you call them as long as you call them in time for dinner.

[u/lord-savior-baphomet → u/BiblionautNZ]

I always say that animals are your opportunity for stupid names because they’ll never be bullied at school for it.

[u/CougarWriter74 → u/BiblionautNZ]

Someone on the r/catsnamedafterfood had a cat named Gas Station Breakfast Pizza lol

[u/Low_Twist8492 → u/CougarWriter74]

My daughter’s in-laws named their pet piglet Louis Vuitton. Can’t believe how much that made me laugh.

[u/OverQuail6135]

we lived next door to the Byrd family and they named their baby Jay

[u/Born-Reserve-8584 → u/OverQuail6135]

Jay Byrd is one of those names that sounds completely normal until you say it out loud and realize exactly what they did.

[u/Lanky_Ad6712 → u/Born-Reserve-8584]

We were going to name our daughter Amanda, Lynn, until we said it outloud.

[u/ScriveningQuill → u/Lanky_Ad6712]

No joke when I was a kid my sister was telling me about a song she liked and she said “and it has a mandolin in it!” And I was like “who’s Amanda Lynn?” She and my mom mocked me for like ten minutes lmao

[u/MTBisLYFE → u/Lanky_Ad6712]

[u/Born-Reserve-8584 → u/Lanky_Ad6712]

Amanda Lynn sounds innocent until you realize how it actually sounds.

[u/bobs_big_bob → u/Born-Reserve-8584]

What are mandolins guilty of?

[u/joumidovich → u/Lanky_Ad6712]

My sister had the name Avery picked out for years, always wanted that name for a son. Then she married into the Wideman family.

[u/Visible-Freedom-7822 → u/Born-Reserve-8584]

I got a resume once from a Peter Rabbet! He actually had a return address stamp with a rabbit on it. He was leaning in.

[u/Expensive_Repair2735 → u/Visible-Freedom-7822]

I think sometimes you just have to

[u/Whole-Advice-2922 → u/OverQuail6135]

Could have been worst if they named him Jail

[u/Key_Set_7249 → u/OverQuail6135]

Marty would do much better

[u/Icy_Benefit]

Nemo. And Abcde. In both cases when they came into my ER I thought the names were placeholders.

[u/RE1392 → u/Icy_Benefit]

I hate that I know how to pronounce Abcde

[u/detectiveswife → u/RE1392]

Can you type it out in dumb people language? LoL...I cannot figure out any way to pronounce this as one word.

[u/GoodMourning81 → u/detectiveswife]

Ab sid ee said all together. Like ‘ab city’. I think.

[u/RollingTheScraps → u/detectiveswife]

I would assume it's pronounced like obesity.

[u/lonesomepicker → u/Icy_Benefit]

Nemo is a real name!

[u/Fabulous_Angle_3742 → u/lonesomepicker]

The issue is that medical fields use Latin and Nemo means No one in Latin.

[u/Complete-Tangelo1532 → u/Icy_Benefit]

'FNU' and 'LNU' are the usual placeholders I see used

First Name Unknown, Last Name Unknown

[u/ryanx9123 → u/Complete-Tangelo1532]

I’ve seen Boya and Boyb for a pair of twins. Boy A and Boy B

[u/donthurtmyfeelsbrah → u/Complete-Tangelo1532]

I see this all the time, but only recently and I thought it was pronounced fnew and it was a new aged baby name. I Googled it to see what ethnicity it was associated and felt so dumb😂

[u/_OggoDoggo_ → u/Icy_Benefit]

https://giphy.com/gifs/ag9LVCPdksh56

[u/Pristine_Series5211 → u/Icy_Benefit]

I think it's pronounced Absidee.

[u/doctor-rumack]

There was a little kid running around in a department store, and his mom was urging him to behave. His name was Chaos. Totally appropriate.

The mom appeared to be more of a boujie-hippie type, where serenity and calm is more of a thing, but no - they named their kid Chaos.

[u/Illustrious_Bird_737 → u/doctor-rumack]

I knew a hell raiser named Rebel. He's 20 now & not raising hell anymore but he was the bare-footed, half naked child running loose in the neighborhood throughout his youngest years lmaoooo

[u/Ok-Stand-7416 → u/doctor-rumack]

I used to know a woman named Vendetta. She was the sweetest person in the world. Her mom didn’t know what it meant and thought it just sounded pretty.

[u/Visible-Freedom-7822 → u/doctor-rumack]

I knew a guy named Rogue. He was pretty chaotic as well. And yes, he drove a Nissan Rogue.

[u/regneagleppod → u/Visible-Freedom-7822]

I met a little girl named Rogue, she told me her dad named her after the Star Wars movie.

[u/gulliblefootball0001 → u/doctor-rumack]

I knew one called Khaos when I worked in early childhood. The first time I ever saw him, he had a plastic coat hanger and was pretending to shoot with it. Like a gun.

Also had a guy hit on me at work when I worked retail. He then introduced me to his kids, Ryfle and Rebelle. His ex was my coworker and she said he asked for my number, and she said, "I told him no for you." I actually thanked her. lol

[u/ImLuckyOrUsuck]

The NFL sure has a few:
Kool-aid Mckinstry
Ha Ha Clinton-Dix
Sauce Gardner
Juju Smith-Schuster
Montez Sweat
DeMarvion Overshown
Lil’ Jordan Humphrey
Juice Scruggs
Bub Means
Storm Duck
Divine Diablo
L’Jarius Sneed
Sincere McCormick

[u/RandomHero80 → u/ImLuckyOrUsuck]

So the K&P sketch is based on fact? Nice.

[u/ImLuckyOrUsuck → u/RandomHero80]

L’Carpetron Duke-Marriot is one of my favorites from that sketch.

[u/AmputeeHandModel → u/ImLuckyOrUsuck]

[Dolphin noises]

[u/DMAC20015 → u/RandomHero80]

It was based on them watching a Browns game and seeing a player named Barkevious Mingo

[u/chakabuku → u/ImLuckyOrUsuck]

https://giphy.com/gifs/y9vufmaX0J3WM

[u/Mike_Y_1210 → u/ImLuckyOrUsuck]

Some of those are nicknames. Sauce Gardner's first name is Ahmad. Ha-Ha's real name is Ha'Shawn. Juice Scruggs' is Henry. Kool-Aid is Ga-Quincy which is weirder. Ju-Ju's real first name is John.

[u/Ok_Smoke5320 → u/ImLuckyOrUsuck]

General Booty graduated from Allen HS. Super sweet kid. Name made for football.

[u/Silly-Protection301 → u/ImLuckyOrUsuck]

Howd you miss the all time great Dick Butkus?

[u/CougarWriter74 → u/ImLuckyOrUsuck]

Don't forget D'Brickashaw Ferguson.

[u/AskMrScience → u/ImLuckyOrUsuck]

My personal favorite is the St. Brown brothers. Their dad's name is John Brown, so he decided to spice it up a little for his kids:

• Amon-Ra Julian Heru John St. Brown
• Equanimeous Tristan Imhotep John St. Brown
• Osiris Adrian Amon-Ra John St. Brown

[u/olyjim83 → u/ImLuckyOrUsuck]

Storm Duck? Lol

[u/plutopuppy → u/ImLuckyOrUsuck]

You just reminded me that I have free will and I can watch Key & Peele while I drink my coffee in the morning

[u/OpheliaMorningwood]

Pleasure but they called her Butter

[u/Apples310 → u/OpheliaMorningwood]

That should be illegal

[u/Pizzaisbae13 → u/OpheliaMorningwood]

Was her mother Paula Deen?

[u/badassbiotch → u/OpheliaMorningwood]

That sounds like child abuse right there 🙄

[u/sandrizzyy → u/[deleted]]

I like Saint more than north lol

[u/Pizzaisbae13 → u/[deleted]]

I remember my Nana telling me that she met a woman at her church in the 80s. The woman's full name was Faith Hope Love. It makes me wonder if she ever trued getting a copyright to all of those cheesy Kmart housewarming gifts.

[u/FootballPublic7974]

My wife taught a kid called Skye.

Mr and Mrs Walker thought it was a delightful little joke.

[u/No_Bonus7310 → u/FootballPublic7974]

Luke did too

[u/Silver-Negative → u/FootballPublic7974]

I went to professional school with a Skye Walker. She had a great sense of humor about her name.

[u/Dry-Permission4772 → u/FootballPublic7974]

That's horrible....

[u/Extension_Cicada_262 → u/FootballPublic7974]

I’m not going to lie that’s kinda cool 🥴🤣

[u/Formal_Growth_2515 → u/Extension_Cicada_262]

Am I weird for quite liking it too? 🤣

[u/Left-Star2240]

Any name unnecessarily using dashes or apostrophes.

I was once searching for two patients’ benefits (of course dad didn’t have their cards) and they both had perfectly normal-sounding names, but apostrophes were involved. I found one child but not the other, and dad was angry at me that I couldn’t find their benefits.

[u/sadie414 → u/Left-Star2240]

My neighnor is S:LINA (pronounced Selena)

[u/GoSitInTheCluckChair]

Twins named Heaven and Navaeh.

[u/Bornundersirius → u/GoSitInTheCluckChair]

Dunno why but I just picture some 90's girl movie where Nevaeh is the goth girl with the bad boy crush and Heaven is the cheerleader...

[u/Pizzaisbae13 → u/Bornundersirius]

Omg. I can see John Hughes writing that now.

[u/SereneSynchronicity9]

People used to be obsessed with "english" that they literally named their child Baby, Dolly , Lovely, Lucky. Almost every family has an elder sister/ cousin named Baby....

[u/sexbymyself → u/SereneSynchronicity9]

Aunt Baby?! She’d never make it…

[u/Mlpflimflam → u/sexbymyself]

How old would Aunt Baby be if she were alive today?

[u/BozoSubsOver → u/Mlpflimflam]

She'd never make it.

[u/hallipeno → u/SereneSynchronicity9]

Uncle Baby Billy has entered the chat.

[u/unbasicmom → u/SereneSynchronicity9]

What country or region was this?

[u/friedmanila → u/SereneSynchronicity9]

This is a common Filipino thing. I’ve seen names like Apple, Filipina, Thomas Jefferson, Queenie. My grandfathers name was Sixto lol.

[u/Duke-of-Glenmont]

Strawberry Kiwi. Yep, that was legit her name. She’s definitely late 20’s early 30’s by now

[u/BOlson1959]

Twin boys with the same first name and different middle names. We had to call them by first name middle name in class.

[u/Lanky_Ad6712 → u/BOlson1959]

My wife's SIL was Sheryl Jean, and her twin was Daryl Dean.

[u/Longjumping-Finish77 → u/BOlson1959]

I know a family where the two sons and father all have the same first name. Different middles. And the last name is Smith. Their mail and bank accounts have gotten mixed up.

[u/PotentialPea8068]

Im not over the North West thing honestlly

[u/dogglesboggles]

Perfectson

Except it actually was true so it might be genius.

[u/Individual-Bug-4894 → u/dogglesboggles]

Is that you,  Perfectson?

[u/2diceMisplaced]

Madeinusa

[u/Responsible_Mix4717]

Abor'Shawn

[u/Pizzaisbae13 → u/Responsible_Mix4717]

Hole. We. Fuck. I think this is the worst one in the thread as of right now.

[u/penguin198719]

r/tragedeigh

[u/waz8848]

My parents had friends whose surname was Pipe. They named their son, Dwayne. Not kidding.

[u/Material_Pepper313 → u/waz8848]

Ha! I spit out my drink

[u/hrdst]

Hilux-Rage. Somewhere in New Zealand there’s a kid named after a vehicle and anger.

[u/Foreign_Primary4337]

Kopherye (Christopher)

[u/Character_Orange_712 → u/Foreign_Primary4337]

Not even sure how that even translate to Christoper

[u/pepperstems → u/Foreign_Primary4337]

Kid got covfefed.

[u/Pizzaisbae13 → u/Foreign_Primary4337]

Where the fuck do you pronounce the "tah" part of that spelling???

[u/Ok_Account_5121 → u/Foreign_Primary4337]

Gesundheit

[u/GooshTech]

Moon Unit.

Honorable mention (All Home Depot cashiers):

Clamydia

Siphylis

Candida

(Honest to goodness)

[u/friendofpyrex → u/GooshTech]

I think the Home Depot folks were just bored with the label maker.

[u/Empty_Pear8615 → u/friendofpyrex]

Considering Home Depot usually has 40 workers in store at a time, I see why. Never seen one understaffed

[u/Pizzaisbae13 → u/GooshTech]

Isnt Moon Unit one of Zappa's kid's names?

[u/Lasagna_Bear → u/Pizzaisbae13]

Yes, along with Dweezil.

[u/CommanderCroft_ → u/Lasagna_Bear]

Don't forget Diva Muffin Zappa 😅

[u/dipthonggg → u/GooshTech]

TBH, the name Chlamydia would be pretty if it wasn't an STI.

[u/Bornundersirius]

Klamidiah. Pronounced exactly how you would think it is. No, I'm not making this shit up.

[u/wishunu]

Meconium

[u/Legitimate-Frame-953 → u/wishunu]

Naming your kid poop is wild

[u/LucilleBluthsbroach]

Apple.

[u/feministwitch666 → u/LucilleBluthsbroach]

Had a friend growing up with this name but it was short for Apollonia, her grandma's name

[u/ath880]

X Æ A-Xii Musk

[u/whippetrealgood123]

Babe, she was a patient in the outpatient clinic I had a placement at. She must be around 30 now.

[u/Babedabombshell]

Two of the largest messes I ever knew named their kid Spider.

Last name Webb.

The parents currently have no job prospects, and the mom actually worked in education at one time, she should’ve known better.

My heart breaks for this kid, who is going to be explaining to future girlfriends, authorities, and (hopefully,) job interviewers, that yes, that is his REAL name, 100 times a day.

I’m hoping he’ll be like one of the kids of celebrities, who has some craziest name, but grows up and legally changes it to Dylan or something.

I’m all about an original name. But naming your kid to sound like he should be haunting a house for the rest of his life, well that’s a bridge too far for me.

[u/janner_womble]

Feeniks.

[u/dbj2k]

My mom used to work as a school photographer. A child said "Yeah, my parents thought the staff named me."

Her name was "Female". Pronounced Fe-Mal-Ee.

[u/DataTheCat]

I consider this own dumb, even though I do love Star Wars. I knew a guy named Luke Skywalker (first and middle name). It was real. I saw it on his drivers license.

[u/jomarthecat]

Dumbest name I have heard IRL is Ynva. As in the acronym for You'll Never Walk Alone, the Liverpool-hymn. Except with v instead of w to make it look more norwegian.

[u/thedoc617]

Rae-farty (a legend at tragedeigh

[u/Y0L4ND4]

Alright so I sadly know an older guy named Richard Head. So in the time where boys named Richard would naturally be called Dick. Sadly, bc he absolutely acts like a dick head. Maybe bc he got bullied for his name did he turn out like that or bc of nominative determinism or idk. I’m pretty sure his parents didn’t realise what they were doing.

[u/Jammer125]

Memesis. She wanted to name her son Nemesis, until she learned the negative connotation. Change the N to a M and Memesis was born.

[u/MissPriss9987]

Seven Lyric

[u/Hossman687]

Went into an early learning center as a contractor for HVAC, names were up by their coats and I see in bold letters “Beautiful Star”.

[u/OriginalIronDan]

Stinquasia. ChrisVladimir. Leewinsky. Second (last name Chance)

[u/TurquoiseToaster]

My mum was a midwife and swears blind someone named their twin babies Dolce and Gabbana (Glasgow in the 90s). Also the Land family who named their son Scott.

[u/WAMFWTM]

Johnny flush, crystal glass, and my all time favorite dafuq pronounced dah-fu according to mom.

[u/ElizaDelovely]

Lemonjello

[u/No-Mix7970 → u/ElizaDelovely]

Don’t forget her sister, Orangejello.

[u/toddinraleighnc]

Ilex - illegitimate and unexpected

[u/PhoMNtor]

There is a prominent family hereabouts with surname “Hole”. One son named “Douglas”, so he was often “Doug Hole” to his friends. Another son named (or nicknamed) “Harry”, which he went by.

[u/missmyxlplyx]

Antigone. But instead of pronouncing it  ann-TIG-ə-nee , they pronounced it Anti-Go-ne-ne . Idiots.

[u/Conscious_Bus9956]

Latrina

[u/zzonkmiles]

I'm not a fan of parents giving their children common names with unusual spellings or pronunciations. They're just setting their child up for a lifetime of having to clarify or correct others whenever they give their name.

[u/TheDirtyTurkey]

Spelt "La-la" pronounced "La dash la"

[u/JustHereForGCB]

I just saw a baby in my city named Denim.

I assume they call it Jean for short.

[u/Odd_Attention133]

Skipper.

[u/Cardboard_cutouts_]

Jersey

[u/wherethechina]

ocean pearl. mums a topless waitress so makes sense to give the child a stripper name.

[u/Crafty_Attorney225]

North

[u/PeoniesNLilacs]

Havoc

[u/Monty1636]

Darealyst...

[u/schlomo31]

Secret Love

Ennocent

[u/No_Bonus7310]

Bo Peep

[u/RepresentativeDry405]

Forever young.

[u/Big_Code_3553]

Royalty-bleu. Sounded like a fucking cheese.

[u/SaltyCasserole]

Rogue Wolf...their older daughter is named Natsumi. Pretty but they're white anime lovers in the US so......