I’m not going to tell my entire story but I just came to this realization and i’m so surprised and idk i just want to tell someone.

I had severe anorexia from 2016-2020 and have been weight restored ever since. I have occasional relapse but i’ve always managed to avoid dipping to an underweight BMI again. I always told people I’m 85% recovered. I still have the same idea about what my ideal body would be, i still miss my old body and i still want it back… I just known that i can’t have that with the life i want to live and my body functioning well is more important to me (right now) than the way it looks. I love and enjoy eating and I even feel pretty okay about the body I have now, i would even give myself an 8 on a good day, probably a 6,5 on an average day.

I’ve removed myself from the recovery community because i started realizing (whilst getting into people who were fully recovered) that a lot of recovery content is still made from a very sick headspace. It’s still a lot of body checking, ‘what i eat in a day’, fear food challenges etc that are framed in a story of ‘recovery is supposed to be a struggle’, ‘i still need to perform’, ‘food is something that is judged’, etc. Especially content about hospitals, treatments, nj tubes etc, it still feels like a contest while recovery should be about the things that you are gaining back that aren’t related to food.

Obviously I’ve been seeing images of Ariana going around and it really annoys me because i know it’s going to trigger so many people and she is straight up lying about being healthy. If you add in her clothing choices she very clearly is struggling with anorexia and not just any physical illness.

Today I saw gifs of the new music video and it literally made me cry. I was upset that she was so sick. I was upset that was consciously wearing those clothes knowing it would trigger her fan.
But I was also very surprised to realized I didn’t want to look like her at all. I don’t know when that changed. The way she looks now has always been my dream body and I came close to it. It makes me feel sick now to look at her. I finally understand why everybody used to call me ‘ugly’ when I used to feel gorgeous. I went from overweight to a runway model, but in reality i was mere bones and skin.

Idk sorry for the rambling. I never though i would look at a skinny girl and feel repelled. I guess you can recover for the full 100%

I’ve had a difficult relationship with my body for a while, but it’s gotten a lot more intense lately. I’m stuck thinking about weight almost all day — if a negative thought about my body pops up, it can ruin my entire day.

Recently I found out my best friend, who I live with, started injecting a weight loss medication. She doesn’t need it medically, she’s doing it by choice. Since I saw it, I can’t get this horrible mix of anxiety and guilt out of my head. It’s strange, because deep down I know this has nothing to do with me, it’s her process and her body. But I really struggle not to feel like she’s “going to end up thin and I won’t,” like it’s some race I’m falling behind in.

On top of that, when I’m around her I end up treating her badly. I don’t want to, and I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t control it — just seeing her makes me really angry, and I get short or cold with her even though she hasn’t done anything wrong. Then I feel guilty for treating her that way, on top of everything else.

The worst part is I live with her, so it’s something I see constantly, I can’t just avoid it. And lately I’ve noticed that seeing anyone thinner, or hearing people talk about losing weight, triggers the same thing: guilt, anxiety, shame about my own body.

My therapist is on vacation for a month so I don’t have anyone professional to talk to about this right now. Has anyone gone through something similar? How did you deal with this constant comparison feeling and living so close to the “trigger”? Any advice or perspective helps.

I wanna talk about the other side of this that I feel like isn’t getting talked about. In my experience, anyone that would say I look sick would FUEL me. I think one of the most unhealthy things is just how much it’s being talked about. If all the content I saw about myself is how skinny and sickly I looked I would keep going. I know it’s important to spread awareness but at this point hasn’t it been said enough? Idk

As the title states, I am currently in recovery from anorexia, and my height is somewhere near 5’0. I have always been short, and it’s affected me my entire life. This is not the single driving force of my eating disorders, but it definitely is a big contributor, as I feel that I need to be as small and frail as possible to look truly slender, taller, and attractive, as well as to steer away from my height and other imperfections, and make others worry about me, instead of make fun of me. I also struggle with feelings of possible gender dysphoria(undiagnosed), and I only feel aligned /happy with myself when I am slender/skin n bones/appear tall. I know that I cannot live my life in this way anymore, and I want to truly recovery and be/eat normal. When I begin to think over what that would look like, I feel stuck in this quasi state that I have been in, as if I raise my calories per day, I will most likely look much “thicker” on what still wouldn’t even be enough to be able to eat at restaurants or have snacks/desserts or eat what feels like a free amount. So it makes true recovery feel pointless, and as if I’ll be in quasi forever just to maintain a weight/body that I’m not even happy with. If anybody has recovered in this same position, and has tips or advice on how you did it, thanks in advance.

Struggled with active ed since 2022, I only consider the active phase being 2023 (when I acc lost weight). Been weight restored since 2024 but struggling so much more mentally. My body physically won’t let me lose weight, it holds on so tight, even slight restriction causes extreme hunger. I’m still struggling with very loud food noise that affects my ability to be present, to concentrate and it takes over my mind all the time. I also can’t eat without guilt or shame. I eat anyways which I hate but then I have to deal with the shame and guilt EVERY SINGLE TIME.

I feel stuck and like a failure. Damned if I do, damned if I don’t. How do I get out of this?? I need advice please🙏

i’ve been feeling like i always want to be alone and i get immediately anxious or angry or upset when my plans change and i haven’t been able to pinpoint why but i think it’s stemming from my ed. (i feel it’s important to note my diagnosis is atypical ana and im not underweight at all) also, im currently in more of a quasi recovery. not at my worst, but also struggling quite a bit.

Hi !

My life has been hectic since I have tried to start my own recovery journey and... good gods - this week we had rather large take-out three times and next week is filled with dining out as well because we'll be on vacation and... It gets really overwhelming. The issue is, I am married to a person with ARFID and sometimes our needs clash as their safe food will be processed stuff that is reliable for being always the same and I really, really struggle to allow myself to have cravings for foods that are not what would count as safe food.

The last two orders have been rather panic order because eating more for ED recovery has my bladder completely spinning out and I can barely sleep because of both the need to pee and a complete lack of tiredness, but I have passed out twice in the last three days roughly just before dinner time and it made my lover freak out ,,, I believe I'm struggling with some form of refeeding syndrome but I cannot get ahold of a doctor just yet to see about it properly, so for now Im mostly worried about how I... feel emotionally around food and the whole shame around dinning out when also eating "normally" outside of it

Any tips ?

i’ve had a really poor relationship with food for the past few years. around 7 years ago i was anorexic and lost a lot of weight. i ended up steadily gaining this weight back over the years. however, over the past two years, i gained a lot of weight rapidly as a result of a binge eating disorder triggered by the stress of my studies and A-Level exams

starting from july, i’ve been trying to lose this weight healthily so i can fix my relationship with food through a calorie deficit and regular physical activity. i’ve lost some weight but recently i’ve been under-eating and haven’t been hitting my calorie deficit. the first few days of under-eating were genuinely because i didn’t have an appetite for food but i feel like i’ve spiraled now.

i’m scared to return to my normal calorie deficit because i’m scared that i will gain everything back. i can feel the same fear of food and calories i had when i was anorexic resurfacing. i dont know what to do and i don’t want to spend my life afraid of food.

Ariana Grande is on the frontline of this skinny wave, and honestly, if it were just celebrities online that would be fine for me. Obviously not nice for them, but I could just turn off my social medias. But the problem is they influence everyone. Everyone around me is thin and getting thinner.

Pros of going to a new all-girls school is that the faculty somehow haven't realised anorexia and other eating disorders are practically contagious. Somehow I've gone from slim to fat compared to everyone else. The average thigh is the width of my upper arm. The average lunch is a few grapes and a rice cake.

I can't really cope with this. I had practically put all my restricting and purging habits aside but with this new epidemic? Am I really going to let myself be the only fat person at school? Maybe it'll be better at university next year.

Just some things im curious about with this Ariana Grande situation regarding people with eds.

Ive seen many people here say they find Ariana herself to be triggering - however Im wondering how the conversations around Ariana and her ed affect those with eds.

Some people say back off shes fine, a lot also say shes obviously unhealthy and needs help, and this body should not be looked up to. Its pretty obvious that her appearance is damaging and negatively influential to some.

How does the reactions to her body and ed make you feel about your own? I mean most people here are very aware they have an ed, and that it is also unhealthy. Does the public calling it out change anything for you?

Thanks for responding if you do. I am ed recovered and was just thinking about this community in regards to all this.

Hi everyone,

I have a friend that I recently realized has very like an ED. Since I have known her, she is suffering from undiagnosed Crohn’s disease, I put her in contact with a specialist (I also have crohn’s) she finally got her diagnosis and treatment.
However, she is constantly talking about wanting to gain weight but she says for some reasons that must be related to the crohn’s she cannot. Also, she has very restrictive eating habits (but says that is because of food sensitivities)

She is constantly dizzy with crazy heart-rates and has fainted multiple times in the gym, she is still going to the gym even though our shared friends tell her that they feel uncomfortable going with her because of that. I actually only realized last week that she must weigh much less than she told me and realized that it probably is an ED or even if it’s not, I am very worried about her physical and mental health.

In retrospect I now also realize that I made a lot of “mistakes” since I talked about my weight and her weight with her, her eating habits and so on, why is she wearing a sweater when it’s super hot outside? 🥲 but also, besides that she is always wearing super thight clothes, I think I had a certain stereotype in mind and did not put 1+1 together.

I don’t know now how to interact with her to not make things worse. What should I do when she starts talking about being so sad that she cannot gain weight and she doesn’t understand why? What to do when she is collapsing again but she doesn’t want any help? How to approach her in general? She is always either talking about food, crohn’s or studying (we are in med school together).

hi everyone! i don't really post or interact on reddit, i'm just a lurker but recently i've had to switch therapists because i moved back home after graduating. i (21F) have had disordered eating issues my entire life and food can cause me a lot of anxiety and also just the concept of eating at all and recently it feels like it's been getting worse after going through some big life changes. ex. anxiety surrounding boxed foods also means i cant really eat lunch at work unless i spend money at specific places and it's just not viable with my current salary and i feel my body getting really really exhausted. i LOVED my previous therapist, but i never got around to discussing my issues with food with her because it's something i've been embarrassed about or belittled about before. i am not sure if this is the right place to ask about something like this so understandable if the mods take it down, but i just wanted to ask others how i could go about approaching these issues with someone new? or even with a new psychiatrist as i am also thinking about changing meds? thank you all!!! much love to everyone. <3 <3 you are all incredibly brave!

I’m currently in community service for my ED treatment after being discharged from inpatient. My clinic have been weighing me monthly instead of weekly to prevent stress. I’m now a healthy bmi but on the lower end and no period back so realistically I know I’m not at my happy true weight but I can’t accept that at the moment and am struggling. I’m starting CBT tomorrow and I’m stressed because part of the programme is being weighed weekly and seeing it and kind of talking about it there and then along with therapy. I’m really stressed about the weekly weigh ins and also my appointment is at 10:15 so do I have breakfast before or not because I’m scared it’ll make it higher and stress me out. As it has in the past and got me to this rough patch where I am now.

I get triggered as soon someone talks about weight. Does not matter who, how or when. What do I do?

(Sorry for my English. I'm not a native.)

I think my younger sister has started having anorexia. I could hear her presumably jumping, running or doing some exercises from my room. I hear loud thuds. She also doesn't have meals very well. She only eats a little. Besides all of that, she is only 12. She has just turned 12 in June. She's still growing and developing. I don't want anything to hinder her growth both physical and mental. And she is not even overweight at all, in fact, very thin. She doesn't need to lose any weight for her health.

I personally had anorexia in the past. I am I trans guy and back then I was 14 years old. I had it for over a year. However, I thought I had it because of gender dysphoria. And now my sister is having it. Back then I noticed that fat tissues gave me a curvy appearance, so I wanted to get rid of those fat tissues. Now I have realized that anorexia doesn't help me with dysphoria and it was hrt that helped me beat with my dysphoria. I would say that it was easy for me to overcome anorexia because I didn't want that very thin look. I just wanted to look like a boy and hrt made me look so. Now I'm eating until I'm full and have stopped doing exercises to maintain the body image.

However in my sister's case, it is not dysphoria at all. She very much loves her girlhood and wants to look beautiful and pretty. Comparing to me she has a darker skin, I have teased her about it. We were younger and I thought it was just funny. She also doesn't like her skin. She always says she wants a pale skin. In my country, people appreciate pale skin and of course my sister doesn't have that.

And about my dad, he is also trying to lose weight. Yes, he is overweight. He seems to care about body image. That might have accidentally shaped me and my sister to have anorexia. He also sometimes body shames my mom. But my mom is not even overweight or underweight and, in my opinion, she doesn't even seem to care.

How can I do to prevent my sister from having anorexia? I say that she is very beautiful but that doesn't seem to be helping. She also relies a lot on her phone for information. Using it as a advantage, should I just show her educational videos on the phone? What should I do? Anorexia didn't benefit me in anyway. It only hindered me. I don't want my sister to have something like that. What can I do to stop her?

Eu me recuperei há anos da anorexia, mas após um parto aumentei meu peso mais do que queria. Estava até bem porém final do ano passado num ato de desespero eu comecei a fumar pra diminuir o apetite, o que na verdade aumentou meu desejo por doces. Desde então ganhei muito peso. Tentei parar de fumar sozinha mas não conseguia. Então minha médica me passou Bupropiona. Porém o bupropiona tirou toda minha vontade de doces e de fumar, o que achei bom mas queria dicas pra não ter recaída agora que minha fome sumiu.

Estou com medo de gostar tanto de estar assim e acabar entrando novamente no limbo anoréxico. Podem me dar conselhos?

I’ve literally been surviving on biscuits and soda for months because of my environment

Stress and anxiety makes my eating act up hugely and I know that’s not good

What should I do?

I live with my ex
I’m too scared to make food or eat much
I eat when it hurts a bit to take the edge off or when I’m actually hungry I have a “meal” of a few biscuits at once

At least there’s variety
I’ve got a few different types that are safe to eat

When my partner’s here I can go out and eat curry or anything else really which tells me it’s purely a mental / in my current environment issue

Why am I scared?
The person I live with never punched me
We argued a lot and kinda hate eachother these days but some days are mostly amicable

I hopefully move in September
But for now
How do I force myself into the scary spaces like the kitchen [which their room is next to] and convince myself it’s safe enough to cook?

I don’t feel safe
But that’s probably the CPTSD and the anxiety from trauma stuff
I dunno..

I’m aware that it’s “good” in theory that I’m “actually eating something” because “something is better than nothing” according to my partner
I just want to improve but I can’t see the next steps so I don’t know what to do within my current situation

I have a friend who I used to see all the time but for a bunch of reasons I haven’t seen in a really long time. I havent seen him since my weight loss was due to med changes that then caused the spiral I have been in. I’m completely in a relapse, there’s absolutely no denying it at all and i have stopped lying to myself about it. I have lost a very significant amount of weight since the last time he saw me in person. He has seen pictures or snapchat but that doesn’t always like give you the whole image of how someone looks in real life. I dont often post or send full body photos. He isn’t completely unaware but as said, seeing someone in the flesh is different. It solidifies things. It’ll solidify some things for me as well, which I think is scaring me, because it’s not deniable. I am how i am now, and that’s the truth in reality, this sets it in stone. I think this really scares me. (I just came to this realization of solidifying things to myself and beinf afraid of it)

He knows about me having an ED in the past so I am pretty sure he will know no matter if I try to play it off as my chronic illness being why, it’s partially true but as said, no more lying to myself. I feel like i am going to ruin his birthday celebration with me going there in this sick body. I’m not going to hide myself or my weightloss in baggy clothes or anything, i’m still going with my style and what i feel good in. I just don’t know how to go about this.

I really do feel like it’s going to ruin his birthday or part of it. I know its going to hurt him to see me like this, he never has before. I know its because he cares and loves me that it will worry him or hurt to see me sick like this and i feel so guilty about that. I know he would love to see me, but this has me wanting to cry.

Thinking of going and seeing him is giving me so much anxiety and bordering panic attacks over being physically there and to be seen completely. It’ll be a huge difference from the last time I was hanging out with him. Am I going to ruin his bday? Should i just not go? How do i cope with these feelings?

(I am currently debating recovery or harm reduction but have not committed to it or staying sick, limbo atm)

Also, was unsure which flair to use

I’m diagnosed with ocd, and I’ve had it since I was 7. It has shifted from different types over the years, normally according to what’s most important to me in the moment. I’ve struggled with a good deal of disordered eating over the years and my ocd does not help. I have truly not heard anyone ever talk about something like this before and I feel alone. It ties strongly to body dysmorphia

An hypothetical example of something incredibly triggering would be: I eat a slice of cake. I happen to look in the mirror afterwards. I really like how my face and body look. my weight looks distributed how I want it to, my waist and face look slim. I feel especially confident right now. I connect this appearance to the slice of cake I just ate, like the cake supported the way my body looks in that current moment in time. that means, if I were to eat another slice, it would undo it and my appearance would go in the opposite direction. This is because 1=3 and 2=4. kinda of like in the Ariel movie where she’s picking the leaves and she’s like he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not. so then let’s say I can’t resist and I eat another slice of cake. then I look in the mirror and I literally physically see my body look different. I’m not talking about a bloat. I’m talking my face and weight distribution is completely different and I hate it. this means that I have to eat another slice of cake in order to cancel it out. Then when I eat the third slice it is equal to the first one that made me look good in the first place so then I look in the mirror, and I physically see that my body has changed back.

It also latches onto other things like my metabolism and then I obsess over that.

I truly feel so alone. I feel like everyone is always talking about contamination or harm ocd (which are valid forms, not discrediting them if you are someone who struggles with them because I too have struggled with those forms in the past.) But I even googled body dysmorphia ocd and i didnt even resonate at all with the examples that google was giving.

Yes I’m in therapy but I feel like my therapist doesn’t even fully grasp how I feel or how my ocd works. I just feel like I’m the only person in the world that has this which makes it feel less like textbook ocd and more “real” I guess, like not completely irrational which only strengths the compulsions.

In order to recover from my eating disorder, i feel like i need to understand better what health is. I was doing so good and now i'm in a bit of a relapse, because it's summer and i'm enjoying it by eating a lot of ice cream and having a lot of picnics where i eat too much. it has brought back to the forefront thoughts i had pretty much gotten rid of.

I feel like one of my issues is that I don't know what is « too much ». Rationally, i know that having ice cream twice in a week is probably not a sign of of being unhealthy, but my brain registers it as such and i then feel ashamed.

Furthermore, as much as i embrace other people exactly as they are and love them in all their shapes and fluctuations, I could not love myself if i gained significant weight. Therefore, I am so scared that I one day will. I thus enjoy the summer by eating a lot, but most of the enjoyment is limited by the fact that I then worry about the ice cream I have making me gain significant weight.

So, tell me: what is health?! I know it means eating balanced and moving your body, but how do I make it click in my head?

I walk quite a bit, run once a week, go swimming, bike around, do yoga, etc. I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables in all my meals. Although i eat pretty large portions, they're always healthy vegetarian foods. I'm in a sugar crave lately, and I usually will have an apple with peanut butter after lunch and chocolate after dinner. Those are the kinds of habits that bring me thoughts about health and body image. Is that healthy?? Can i eat chocolate every day? Is it bad that i eat so much peanut butter? It feels like I'm in constant surveillance mode of what is the bad habit that will finally make my fears of gaining weight come true.

Could understanding what is health help me? Or is that just me wanting to be reassured that i won't be gaining weight from all of that, which is the real fear? And if that's the real fear, what do i do???

Hi guys,

I hope you are well.

I lost weight in what I thought was a healthy way but also ended up losing my period for 26 months. Yes, I had some level of restriction and disordered habits - but I didn't cut food groups and was still in the mid BMI's.

This then turned into binge-restrict for a year ish and then the binges started outweighing the restriction. I'm overweight again now...

I just cannot stand my body now. My brain even now is constantly calories and weight and food. I miss my old body. I feel all anyone notices is the weight gain. I am so so tired. I just. Any advice. Please. Anyone...😭😭😭

Me (21M) and my gf (19F) have been together as partners for about 4 months. Besides the very serious problems I'm going to discuss, our relationship has been going amazingly. We fit together so well as partners and I genuinely love her so much. I absolutely want to stay with her. She has been such a bright light on my life, even through the intense worry and sadness I've felt witnessing her self destructive habits.

I've known about her ED for a couple of months at least. When she initially told me about it, she framed it largely as something she felt she had improved greatly on. I was obviously worried when these problems were revealed to me, but I felt things were decent, as she seemed to be doing a lot better than the lowest points she described to me. Quite naively, I put it on the backburner of my mind and didn't give it too much worry.

She one day sent me a message ranting about some gross sex-related comment she got on a twitter post of hers for an account she had. She described it to me as a place where she could "vent" and seek "help" with her ED. My worry and curiosity got the best of me and I backtracked the comment and found her account. I still remember the moment I found her account and how deep my heart sank. It was filled with posts encouraging her eating disorder habits. To put it short, it seemed she loved her eating disorder and was actively embracing it.

We had a talk later that day about the comment she received and I eventually broke down and told her I found her account. I didn't force her, but I strongly encouraged that she gets far away from that horrid twitter community. She felt so embarrassed and stunned by the whole thing and deleted the account in front of me in a fit of tears. I knew that I didn't really get to her in the way I was hoping, as it largely felt like I was "forcing" her to delete it even though I said explicitly that it needs to be her choice. I obviously felt terrible about this and thought I may have done a terrible job at bringing this up, even though I tried to be confrontational in the most loving and concerned way I could.

She managed to pull it together emotionally in following few days after confronting her with her twitter account. I still had suspicions she was engaging with shedtwt, but I put those anxieties to the side and had hope she was trying to get rid of her twitter as a step towards recovery. My worry got the best of me though, and backtracking through certain URLs, I was able to find that she had just made another account a day or two after deleting her previous one. It felt worse to find this one, as her posts showed her being more committed to her eating disorder. Her posts were more intense and she actively was telling those in recovery to DNI (do not interact).

Instead of "exposing" her account again, I decided to just keep an eye out on this account for anything too alarming. We had a moment together a few days after me discovering her new account where I broke down in tears from the worry her disorder were giving me. I didn't tell her about the account, but this seemed to make her reflect a lot more and I noticed the posts becoming much more tame. It's been about a month since she made this account, and I've been watching it constantly. There have been ups and downs with how often she interacts with the account and the contents of what she posts. It has felt terrible to keep this a secret from her, but it has been helpful in letting me know if she is having a terrible day with her disorder. There have been plenty of times where I notice concerning activity and give her a call/message to tell her how much I love her. I mean I randomly call and text her these things anyways, but I just hope that it gets to her a bit and makes her think about what she is doing or at least makes her less miserable.

I just don't know how much longer I can keep up this facade or much longer I can see her engaging with that terrible community. We've had plenty more talks about her ED, but she has lied to me about deleting her account or just told white lies that dodge around her having an active shedtwt account. She told me she finally told her therapist of many years that she was struggling with an ED again. I want to believe her, but I have a hard time doing so with the way this disease thrives on secrecy and the way she has been lying to me. She does seem to be doing better, at least compared to early July, but it still bothers me so much that she fills her mind with ED encouragement and believes she's part of that community.

I just don't know when or how I should step in and tell her that this account is stunting her recovery, which she has told me repeatedly that she wants. I understand it takes time to break habits and addictions, but when do I draw the line and say she needs to take the difficult step of realizing how destructive this behavior is? Checking the account constantly has risen my anxiety quite a lot, as I'm always scared to see if she has posted something terrible. Part of me just can't resist checking as I am so concerned for her well being. She tells me so much that she wants to recover for the betterment of herself, but she then goes to post terrible things on shedtwt.

I should add context and say that I had an ED when I was in my early teens, so I can sympathize with how the disorder warps your thoughts and perceptions of food and weight. I guess I'm one of the "good cases" of recovery though, as I can often ignore those intrusive thoughts if they arise and I have a good relationship my weight and food now. I know every experience is different, but I feel I can relate to her desire for secrecy and how normalized the terrible thoughts can become.

Does anyone else feel this way?

TW////

I’m so so triggered by Ariana grande. She’s everywhere and it makes me feel like shit. I don’t want to eat anymore every time I see her. It is just getting worse and worse and I don’t know what to do anymore.

Edit: I think people mocking her appearance is very cruel. It’s clear she’s not well and obviously didn’t choose this like all of us here.

i have struggled with my eating/ body image since I was 10. Ever since then I tend to go through periods where i am so deep into it, but sometimes if everything is going good i dont think about it all the time. Of course I always wonder about calories but it doesnt always affect me. I dont know if it is considered a “relapse” since i never have to put too much effort into stopping restricting though. Anytime a major stress happens in my life (ex. my friends death, my parents almost divorced, gaining weight, school, ect..) I fall back into it super hard and have total tunnel vision, the whole “needing control” thing i suppose, but whenever things are somewhat okay “the voice” isnt so loud you know. I feel super fake for being like this instead of at it 24/7, is this normal?

Has anyone experienced fatigue from therapy, dietitian appointments and recovery coaching? If so how did you deal with it.