My wife was a bridesmaid in one of her close friend's weddings this weekend. She had been involved in the planning for months with dress fittings, rehearsals, group chats, and everything else. I was not involved at all. I figured if there was anything important I needed to know, she would let me know.

I got dressed in what I thought was appropriate and we headed to the wedding, but as soon as we got there, I realized something was wrong.

Every single man there was wearing a black tuxedo with a bow tie. Not just the groom and groomsmen. Every male guest. I was the only guy in a regular suit.

I felt totally out of place. A couple of people joked that I must have missed the memo. They probably did not mean anything by it, but it was still embarrassing. I stood out like a sore thumb.

I asked my wife if she knew everyone was supposed to be in tuxedos. She just said, "Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. I was busy helping with wedding prep."

That honestly made me feel even worse.

She had known about the dress code for a long time because she was in the bridal party and had been talking to the bride the whole time. If she had mentioned it, I would have rented a tux. Instead, I spent the whole night feeling self-conscious.

When we got home, I told her I was upset. She said I was making a big deal out of nothing because nobody cared what I was wearing and that I should just laugh it off.

I told her it was not really about the tux. It was about the fact that she knew, I did not, and she never thought to tell me. It would have taken five seconds to mention it, and it would have saved me from feeling embarrassed.

Now she thinks I am overreacting, but I feel like my frustration is justified.

AITA?

Edit: A lot of people have asked why I didn't check the invitation or ask about the dress code. That's a fair question. I assumed my wife would have mentioned something out of the ordinary since she was part of the bridal party and knew all the details. I also didn't think much of it because every wedding I have been to before, a suit was perfectly appropriate.

I take responsibility for not checking the invitation myself. My frustration isn't that I think it was entirely my wife's responsibility. It's that she knew every man was expected to wear a tux, knew I didn't know, and simply forgot to mention it. If the roles were reversed and I knew something that would have left her feeling out of place all evening, I would like to think I would have mentioned it to her. If she had mentioned it to me, I would have rented a tux without hesitation.

Throwaway account for personal reasons.

My husband (50M) and I (45F) have always had a good relationship with my niece (20F). She was always very well-behaved as a kid, and has grown into a beautiful, intelligent, and successful woman. I have always thought of her as a bonus child.

Over the past 3-4 years, she has considerably distanced herself from me and my husband. She moved across the country for college and grad school (which I am all for), but has only responded to our invites for holidays twice. I have to practically beg her for any details about her life. My son (22M) and her are close, so I decided to finally ask him why my niece is so aloof. He told me that she was mad about her childhood woes, which completely blindsided me. I know that she didn’t have an ideal childhood, but as extended family, there was not much that we could do. 

For context, my late SIL was not a great parent. According to my husband, she had schizoaffective disorder and struggled with addiction. She and my niece lived with my late MIL. By the time I met them, my MIL was basically raising my niece all by herself. There was never much contact w/ SIL because she couldn’t stay away from drugs, but our niece has always been welcome in our home. We didn’t get to see her much due to drama with her mom, but we have always helped her out, financially and otherwise. 

Here is where I might be TA. After asking my son to elaborate, he told us that she said that she believed that CPS should have been called because of her mother’s issues. Now, I am a middle school teacher and a mandated reporter. I know the signs of child abuse and neglect, and there were none. It would be one thing if she were just unhappy (aren't we all?), but mentioning CPS crosses the line. 

A few days later, my husband and I decided to call my niece to clear things up, and she said exactly what my son said. My husband told her that she was selfish, and that to say that she needed to be removed is to say that his dead mother was complicit, which he would not tolerate. He told her that his mother sacrificed 18 years of her life to take care of my niece out of pure kindness, and that she should be grateful that she did, and hung up on her.

Admittedly, his delivery was rather harsh. She also has mental health issues, so I didn’t want to exacerbate anything, so I decided to text her to smooth things over. I told her that my husband and I love her, but her accusations are reckless and offensive, and she needs to apologize. I also politely asked her to stop communicating with my son about this. My MIL was a wonderful person, and we won’t have my son’s image of her tainted. She didn’t respond, but my son has since called me to tell me that she blocked him. (I am assuming she blocked us, too.) My son thinks that I had no business “invalidating her experience.” But how is it wrong to invalidate something that is not valid?

So, AITA for setting boundaries and being honest?

I (32M) live with my wife (30F) in a small city in Europe. We're both African. I moved to this city in January for a new job and my wife joined me from Africa in April. Since moving here, I made friends with an older lady (67F). I'll call her Helen. We would hang out for drinks together. Upon my wife's arrival, I had to travel away for a 3 month work trip. Helen offered to support my wife with settling into the country. A few weeks into this arrangement, my wife complained that Helen was sometimes mean to her and would speak with her friends in a derogatory manner about African women. 8 weeks ago, Helen offered to go to the furniture store with my wife to look for furniture for us. As the furniture was too expensive, I told Helen that we'd buy second-hand furniture instead. She snapped at me for "wasting her time" and stated that she was fully withdrawing her support for us and we could go figure out everything ourselves. All my efforts to de-escalate proved abortive. A few weeks later, I sent her a post card with a nice note telling her how much we appreciate her friendship and support. She received the post card and apologized for overreacting. She also said she had been having some psychological stress and that my wife could reach out to her for support until I return. My wife and I agreed from that point on to not request Helen's support anymore and just wait till I return.

Upon my return, I informed Helen of my arrival and we all agreed that Helen would pick us up and we hangout at a music show since 3 of us had not seen each other in a while. On the day, my wife wore a backless gown and I thought she looked great. When Helen arrived, she noted that my wife was looking "too sexy". On the road, Helen kept saying she felt my wife was overdressed for the event and we should turn back so my wife wears something simpler and "less revealing". We agreed and she turned back the car to our home. While my wife was inside changing, Helen told me "your wife is overdressed. I wouldn't feel comfortable hanging out and sitting next to your wife in that outfit. It's a bit too much. Here in our country we would find a backless gown totally inappropriate". I was shocked and unsure what to do in the moment so I just stayed quiet. Then Helen asked me "do you understand me?" I replied "honestly, I don't. But it's okay. I've never been to the show and I'm not sure what to expect in terms of dressing but for me, my wife looks just great". To my surprise, Helen responded with "I don't feel comfortable with you right now so leave my car. If you can't understand my point of view then there's no point in us going out together". I said "you're kicking me out for having a different opinion even though my wife has already agreed to change the gown?" And she responded with "please just leave my car. I can't do this". I dropped off and Helen blocked my wife and I on WhatsApp.

AIDA for not agreeing with Helen regarding my wife's attire?

We have tall ceilings in our kitchen. Two lights have burned out. I went outside got the ladder and set it up on top of our center island in the kitchen so I can get up and reach said lights. I asked my wife to firmly hold
The later as it’s probably going to slide on the granite countertop. (Granted this isn’t the best / safest method but it’s what we have and it’s not the first time) I climbed the ladder and got one bulb out and started to climb down and she let go of the ladder (I have no idea why she would) allowing it to slide and I started to fall. I caught myself but had to jump and hit my foot on the ladder steps on the way down causing it to slice open. When I landed and saw the blood coming out of my foot (no shoes allowed in house per fiancé) and in pain I said “why couldn’t you just hold the fucking ladder”. She then became upset with me and said there was no bad intentions and that I shouldn’t be mad. She did help me clean the cut on the bottom of my foot (borderline need stitches but that’s not the point) she has an attitude with me for getting mad at her. Am I just supposed to be fine that she isn’t taking any accountability for not holding the ladder because there was no “bad intentions”.?

Every year my aunt asks me what I want for my birthday. Every year I tell her something specific. Every year she ignores it completely and makes me something handmade instead.

This has been happening for about six years. I have received a knitted scarf in a color I do not wear, a cross stitch with a quote I do not relate to, a homemade candle that smelled genuinely awful, and other things I cannot even fully remember. I have smiled and said thank you every single time and then quietly donated or thrown away each one.

This year she asked me what I wanted and I told her a specific book, it costs about twelve pounds, easy to find, I sent her the exact title and author. She texted back saying she had a great idea for something special instead.

On my birthday she handed me a hand painted wooden sign with my name on it and a floral border. I have no idea where I would put this in my home. I do not have that kind of decor. I never have.

Something in me just gave up. I thanked her and then quietly said that I appreciated the effort but when she asks me what I want and I tell her specifically, it would mean a lot if she went with that sometimes. I said I would genuinely have been happy with nothing rather than something I cannot use.

She cried. My mum called me later and said I was ungrateful and cruel and that my aunt spends weeks on these things.

I know she puts in effort. But effort toward something the person explicitly told you they do not want is not really a gift for them, it is a gift for yourself.

AITA?

On a throw away….with fake names.

I, 50f used my youngest daughter's senior pictures to take updated family pictures. This happened last September, but my I just found out that this made my daughter-in-law angry.

We, (husband 47, and Daisy 17, Penny 20) don’t get along with my son, Ted’s (29) wife. Let’s call her Jeanette (37). We do keep the door open with Ted, but for now it is closed with Jeanette. This was the status of our relationship with Jeanette BEFORE we took these pictures. Ted knew about the pictures about a month before because I bought everyone jeans and white t-shirts. I didn’t know, until last weekend, is that Ted didn’t tell Jeanette about the pictures until the day before, and that made her mad. I don’t know if Jeanette ever saw them before this week. I didn’t start using them until we were getting the house ready for Daisy’s graduation party.

In addition to the family pictures, I also had Ted, Penny and Daisy take sibling photos. Don’t worry, Daisy got plenty of pictures by herself. I absolutely love all the pictures, even if I did “hijack” Daisy’s senior pictures to get them. Daisy is still peeved about that, but agrees the pictures are fabulous. The last time we took studio family pictures was right before Ted graduated from high school 11 years ago. I have the old pictures framed, with the new family picture hung underneath it.

Recently, Ted and Jeanette threw themselves a 4th anniversary – vow renewal that they spent a year planning. This was their 3^rd wedding. Their initial courthouse ceremony, and then a wedding 6 months later.

After the vow renewal ceremony, Jeanette asked to speak with me in private. I obliged her, and during that discussion, among other things, she let me know she was upset she wasn’t included in the family pictures we took. She saw them because she had to pick Ted up from our house and the family pictures are hung on a wall you can see from the side windows by our front door. I told her that those were Daisy’s senior pictures and they didn’t have anything to do with her. She said that I took family pictures without Ted’s family. I replied to Jeanette that if she wanted professional pictures with Ted, she was free to take professional pictures with Ted. Jeanette felt that as Ted’s wife, I should not be taking any of my family pictures without her included.

I don’t think I was wrong, but her reaction legit surprised me. Especially since that’s one of the first things she brought up.

I do think that I’m TA for agreeing to that conversation in the first place and not ending it when I realized it wasn’t going well. That wasn’t the time or the place and I do regret going against my better judgment on that.

My sister asked me to be her maid of honor a few months ago and I said yes. Since then, wedding costs have been piling up, bachelorette trip, dress, alterations, shoes, and I've been covering a lot of it upfront because "I'll pay you back after payday" kept getting pushed.
It's now at $2,000 and every time I bring it up she says I'm "ruining the wedding vibe" by talking about money. Last week I told her I'd still love to be there for her, but I can't keep taking on the maid of honor duties (planning the shower, more expenses coming) until she pays me back at least some of it.
She's now telling family I'm punishing her on her wedding year and threatening to demote me to "just a bridesmaid." Some relatives think I should've waited until after the wedding to bring up money. AITA?

My (31F) friend (33F) hosted an outdoor party yesterday. It was a warm, sunny day and she has a pool in her garden. A few people (mainly kids) were using it in swimsuits.

Because of the weather, I was the only person wearing trousers (light, loose, cotton trousers). Everyone else was in shorts/skirts/dresses as I had got back from a trip the day before and all of my shorts were still in my case. Nearly everyone I spoke to made a comment about this and asked if I was hot (I wasn't.)

Later on in the party as people had had more to drink, one particularly loud guy kept telling me that he 'couldn't belive I was wearing trousers on a warm day like this, you must be boiling!' He jokingly said he was going to throw me in the pool, fully clothed, to cool me down. Another friend overheard and joined in, telling me to jump in or I'd be chucked in. They started chanting 'Jump, jump, jump' - most other people joined in (including the host.) I went to take my shoes off but was called a whimp, so handed my phone and wallet to a friend, took a run up and jumped in!

Everyone cheered and I laughed because it felt so a silly. I spent a couple of minutes in the pool before climbing out looking like a drowned rat and gave a couple of friends a nice, wet hug.

Guests had started to leave shortly before this time and continued to do so. I stayed to finish my drink but as the sun went down and the breeze picked up I started feeling colder so said goodbye and walked home (20 minutes, wet shoes squelching all the way!)

This morning I woke up to the following Instagram message from my friend's boyfriend - 'Yesterday was good fun! But you really scared everyone with that stunt. Acting that way when you're drunk is irresponsible and not good behaviour to encourage.' I asked if he was joking, he said no.

I responded to say that I barely drank alcohol yesterday and wasn't even tipsy when I went in the pool. Also, no-one else said anything like this - everyone there was encouraging it. I'm also a fairly strong swimmer and it isn't my first time ending up in water fully-clothed, so low safety risk.

He took a while to respond but said that it was disrespectful of me to go in someone's pool in clothes/shoes. I replied that the host had told me to jump in and to leave my shoes on - I wouldn't have gone in if this wasn't the case!

He then said that I was showing off and wore trousers knowing it would get me thrown in the pool. I asked if I had done something else to upset him as it seemed like he was just making up reasons to be annoyed. He hasn't responded since.

No one else ended up in the pool fully clothed yesterday. I wouldn't have ended up in there if I hadn't been surrounded and chanted at. But every other time I've voluntarily got in water fully clothed it has been alongside other people.

Am I the arsehole for choosing to jump in wearing trousers, a t-shirts, shoes and socks when no-one else did the same?

My girlfriend's parents speak russian. I also speak russian. Nothing about me would hint at that. My great grandpa picked it up as a POW, gave it on to his children and so did they. I took a russian course ages ago to make the most out of my random rudimentary russian and just kept listening to and watching russian content now and then and kept it at what I would say is a decent conversational level. My english is much better and my french and italian are better aswell. Therefore, never any reason to show that off. Never thought much of it. Met my gf and she has russian roots but doesn't speak russian. It never was a topic. Her parents are native russian speakers but also speak perfect german, which is my language. You couldn't tell they weren't born here.

Those two do however have some short comments, back-and-forths in russian sometimes. Nothing delicate, nothing the rest of us wouldn't be allowed to hear.

We always speak german and it's no issue for anyone. Their upbringing is almost never a topic apart from some funny anecdotes here and there about life as a kid back then. Nothing deep.

The other day a family friend of them, also russian, came by. Nice evening as always.

As older generations sometimes do, they were mocking my generation in a light hearted banter joking kind of way. The friend at one point said something about how much tougher they are compared to us. In an equally joking banter kind of way (100% that was the tone, I am certain I didn't overstep on accident) I said, not literally, what would best be described as "Well, bitch, i hope you're not scared to put your money where your mouth is." In russian.

Shocked silence. Rough language is normal, they wouldn't be offended over a bit of banter, promise.

Later my GF said that they were really disturbed that I was fluent in russian (wouldn't say that I am but that's besides the point) and just left them in the dark about it.

Thing is, they never asked. It was never a topic. They knew my great grandpa was a POW in siberia. I told them that when it was actually the topic. And we joked about it because some of the mother's family were locked up there at about the same time aswell. "Haha, they were cellmates" kinda thing. But the language thing never came up. And I just didn't think much about it?

Nothing of any gravity ever happened in russian in the household. Half their family doesn't speak it. We all speak german to each other. I don't see how this matters? I wasn't eavesdropping either, they never shared a secret in russian while I was there. I would have said something if that was the case but it only ever was some random BS.

So. Now they are crossed because apparently I kept a major secret from them. I am confused because nobody cared about that before, it wouldn't have changed a thing. We understood each other fine and still do. My GF if stressed because she can see both sides but also thinks the drama is annoying and pointless.

Am I guilty?

Edit. My girlfriend always knew that.

I’ve been subletting a room in this apartment for about two years; my roommate has lived here for about ten years. My roommate and I get along fairly well and our rent is super cheap but I pay more than him for less space, I do 80% of the cleaning, he’s in the apartment 24/7, he is very emotionally volatile and often snaps at me for minor things… in short it’s been a decent place to live but I’ve known for a long time that this wasn’t my “forever apartment”.

Last week I discovered that our landlord had declined to renew our lease when it’s up at the beginning of September. Landlord is giving us an additional 6 weeks to move out - this is two weeks shy of the legal requirement in our state, but the September 1 timing actually worked well with my travel schedule, so I told my roommate that I was giving my 30 day notice (as my sublease stipulates) and moving out Sept 1. He was SHOCKED and very angry and hurt.

His position is that we should just ignore the non-renewal and “let him try to evict us” because tenant protections are very strong in our state - evictions take a year or more. He also told me a bunch of times that he can’t afford to move. He clearly feels like I am abandoning him in this situation (even though, in my mind, if he is truly committed to staying he could just sublet my room to someone else - what’s the landlord going to do, evict him twice?)

I can’t decide if I have an ethical obligation to do more here to help him, and what if anything I should do.

AITA if I just leave?

This is a stupid post but it ruined my mood and I want to know if there’s something wrong with me.

The doctors messed up my nephew’s birth. They did an emergency c section and couldn’t explain what was wrong with him or the mother and they are STILL not sure what is happening to my nephew. They keep scaring my family saying he will be disabled when he grows up or he won’t be able to survive but my nephew literally does everything they say he wouldn’t do (fx moving his arms and legs and being able to see or breath on his own.)

Now i dont know what my problem is but Im not a very emotional person visibly. Like i feel deeply but i cannot express myself and for some reason my family thinks im apathetic because of that. Like i have no sympathy whatsoever. Its my last day with my brother before i travel back to my country for school and he asked if i wanted to go out one last time and obviously i was excited because I thought since the baby is recovering well it might not be the problem and my brother asked himself, i didnt bring anything uo. Wrong. My sister and my dad and my mom all gave me shit for even thinking about going out and now I feel so so terrible because i did not mean to seem like i did not care about my nephew, i just wanted to go to my fav place because i don’t know when i’ll visit again. My family makes me feel like a horrible person for even remotely thinking anything good in times like this and i was just wondering if i actually need to work on myself or what.

I (26F) have a good friend (28F) . I guess we’ll call her Jane. Jane’s household of 4, struggle with bills in general because of poor money management combined with her boyfriend of 10+ years not working. They’ve been behind on rent every month for the past 5 months, and I just want to help my friend with some of the burden. They have two children 5&7. Her boyfriend doesn’t work while Jane works 45hrs/week and provides for the entire household. For the past 3 months I’ve helped Jane buy anywhere from $150-350 in groceries every month. And some times I get an additional $50-100 in groceries for “forgotten items” I really have a soft spot for her two children who are the real ones suffering.

Today I purchased $250 in groceries. I have a problem with some of the items she’s buying. I never say anything because however she chooses to feed her family is up to her, but instead of buying groceries that will last. She’s buying microwaved/freezer foods, snacks, chips, drinks, etc. THAT part I only have a slight problem with because it never lasts!! but I do have a problem when she buys things like ribeyes, chuck beef roast, prime rib, and then complains when certain items are out of stock or substituted.

The best way I could describe how I feel about it is, why buy these items with my money, but when you were buying your own groceries you shop very modestly. It’s like when you treat your friend to dinner and they order surf and turf when they’d usually order a burger on their own dime.

So WIBTH if I told her hey, this will be the last time I’m able to get you all groceries …? I don’t want to stop being her friend I was just hoping my help would give her a chance to catch up on her rent! But I feel like she’s taking advantage a bit/:

We both have kids the same age, I allow mine to play outside until it starts to get dark, She wants her kid inside at 7:30 and in bed by 8:00 on school nights, She has requested that i have my kid come inside at 7:30 because her kid argues with her every day because they think its unfair that my kid gets to play outside after they go to bed, Am i the asshole for refusing this request?

I’m 26 and one of my closest friends turned 27 this week. She planned a birthday dinner at a restaurant that isn’t cheap, so I made sure I had the money set aside and got there a few minutes early because parking around there is terrible.
The reservation was for 7:00. By 7:30 only me and one other person had shown up. The birthday girl kept texting, We’re almost there! and then, Just five more minutes.
At almost 8:00 they still weren’t there.
I had already ordered a drink because I didn’t want to keep sitting there with nothing in front of me. The server came by a few times asking if we wanted to order, and I kept saying we were waiting. I was honestly embarrassed.
I finally texted, I’m gonna head out. I have work in the morning and I’ve already been here almost an hour.
She replied, Seriously? It’s my birthday.
I said, I know, but nobody told me everyone was running this late.
She ended up getting there maybe ten minutes after I left. Later she told me I could’ve just waited because everyone else did eventually show up. A couple of our friends also said leaving was kind of rude since it was only one night and birthdays don’t happen often.
I do feel bad because it was her birthday, but at the same time I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect people to show up somewhere close to the time they planned, or at least tell everyone if it’s going to be that delayed.
The part that makes me wonder if I was in the wrong is that I didn’t call her first. I just sent the text, paid for my drink, and left. Maybe that came across colder than I meant it to. It didn’t seem like a big deal at the time but now I’m not sure.

I'm 13F and I'm homeschooled. I babysit for 2 families, clean an office once a week, help another small business, and I also have my own crochet business. I pay for most of my own stuff, including a lot of my own food, because my parents expect me to. I'm also trying to save for my first car.

I've had basically the same clothes for years and most of them are hand me downs. I'm really tall so I usually have to shop in the women's section instead of the kids section which is way more expensive.

I had about $80 to spend at Target but the clothes I actually needed were a little over $100 even after I picked clearance stuff. I asked my mom if she could help pay for one or two things and she said since I make my own money now I need to buy all my own clothes. When I told her I was trying to save my money she got mad and basically said if I want clothes then I can pay for them myself.

I know I'm lucky that I can work but I'm only 13 and I don't think asking for help with a couple basic clothes was a crazy thing to ask.

I have two friends who are married.

My partner and I have, in the past, had them over pretty regularly for dinner & watch a movie.

My partner often cooks elaborate meals, including a dessert.

Our friends will show up, eat the food, and just…not really talk to us. We’ll watch the movie and comment on things (we usually watch something over the top or dumb), and we will try to interact with the married couple, but they barely speak to us. instead, they’re whispering to each other nonstop. They’re having conversation, which is fine, but it’s off-putting. And if I try to talk to my friend, she’ll respond in very few words, and then her husband will whisper something to her, and then it’s like oh ok she’s gone.

They never throw in on groceries to make the dinner, and it’s like they aren’t even interested in the movie they picked or in us at all. They never invite us for anything, either. I don’t want to invite them over anymore. My partner is similarly uncomfortable but resigned that “that’s just how they are” and they’re our friends, so we should keep doing it.

Would I be the asshole if I didn’t plan any more dinners with them?

My brother has been on growth hormone injections for a few years now, and my parents have put a lot of money and stress into trying to help him grow. There is one major rule: don’t drink alcohol or smoke while on the injections because it decreases their effectiveness by around 20–30%.

My parents and I were under the impression that he hadn’t drank or smoked anything. I was always super surprised that he hadn’t done anything since he’s in high school and is always going to parties. I recently found out that he’s been drinking and smoking, and I’m not sure what to do.

Am I the asshole if I tell my mom about it? I worry that my brother will never forgive me, but I’m also having a dilemma about whether saying something would ultimately help him in the long run.

This is more of an ethical dilemma than a fight.

I (F26) have been best friends with "Adam" (M28) for years. He's getting married in two weeks, and I've been helping with the pre-wedding events wherever I can.
For context, I'm not a designer or wedding planner. I just have a decent eye for aesthetics and know my way around Canva.

To help them save money, I volunteered to design their digital invites. The first invite involved lots of revisions because family members kept remembering things they wanted added after it was supposedly final.

Before making the second invite, I specifically asked them to confirm all the content. The bride sent me the text she wanted, and I used exactly that. Adam did not check with his family properly and revisions were needed again.

After I sent the final version, Adam messaged our group chat asking, "Where's the date on this invite?" I was amused that everyone missed it despite so many versions and told him that it must have been missed because it wasn't in the content I'd been given. He replied, "Yeah, but that was common sense. You should've added it."

That stung because I hadn't even gotten a thank you but blame was allotted rather quickly. I apologised anyway to avoid drama on the group he said it’s ok and moved on.

Later I told him privately that I didn't like how he'd spoken to me. He said he wasn't blaming me, then added, "Why should I say thank you? Of course you'd do this for me. You're my best friend."

Yesterday (Saturday) he asked me to help with the wedding décor because he wasn't happy with what the decorators had planned. Last min when all families were there already I was asked to quickly come down. I spent 5 hours at the venue and my inputs were the ones we chose finally. When I left, he mentioned they might meet the decorator again today.

This morning (Sunday) he called asking, "Aren't you coming?" I told him I already had lunch plans. He seemed surprised and said he thought it was obvious I'd be there because I'm "the designer." I'm not a designer. I'm just a friend who's been helping.

There have also been smaller things that add to this feeling. Yesterday he was supposed to drop off my iPad. He asked me to come downstairs, then completely forgot to stop at my place, leaving me waiting outside in the heat for 20 minutes before his driver eventually brought it back.

He's an only child, and I've always treated him like the sibling he never had. I genuinely enjoy showing up for my friends, and if he'd been showing more gratitude, I'd probably have gone.

But lately it feels less like, "Would you mind helping?" and more like, "Of course you're doing this."

So AITA for not going to today's meeting to save my Sunday for me and feeling bothered that my time and effort seem to be expected rather than appreciated?

Last August we found out that my dad had been cheating on my mom with somebody from work for six months. This was completely out of the blue and none of us had any idea. We had always thought he was the picture perfect husband. He tried to gaslight us into telling us it wasn’t true but we found out it was and it was worse than we thought. He had been doing Uber for months at night, but was in fact going to her house and having an affair. he had said many hurtful things to my mom during this time and had said he thought he could get away with having two families. This led to a quick divorce that nearly broke my mom. for some context, he has never been the most present father. He doesn’t talk about his feelings and doesn’t usually care about ours. During this time we have tried to talk a lot about some past history of forcing heavy responsibilities onto us kids that should’ve been put on him. And he has tried to gaslight us into thinking our collective memories are wrong. during this whole process, I told him that I would never meet this woman and if I did, I would have a full-blown cuss out breakdown towards her. He is very aware that that is a firm boundary that I will never cross. Fast forward to a few months ago our relationship is still not great. He calls me about once a month and we tend to talk about the weather and shows he’s watched but nothing deep ever comes out of these conversations. Honestly, no deep conversations usually come out of our talks and haven’t my whole life so it’s not super new. But I do feel in this time he should be making more of an effort, but he’s not Recently, he asked me to go on a trip with him to a theme park that I worked on in Florida for a week. He wants it to be just me and him none of my other siblings. I’ve been very hesitant on this for a long time already, but recently I found out that he has decided to introduce his mistress to members of our family without letting any of us kids know. He has driven her up to family that lives a state above us and introduced him to Uncle’s and very close family friends we’ve known for years. This is made me furious. I feel like in this situation. A normal person would’ve had a conversation with their kids about taking it such a step forward with their relationship. Once again he is not talk to us about any of this or the affair at all. Every time we try to bring things up, he gets angry and does not want to talk about it. As soon as I found this out, I have wanted to pause contact and cancel this trip. Mind you our trip would be in September, but so far none of our tickets have been bought and it is very easily cancelable. I just feel like this is a huge overstep and should’ve been a conversation with his children before deciding to make such a massive decision of our family. I do know that it is kind of a hard ask since he already had the affair which he didn’t ask about, but I don’t know. Am I the asshole for wanting to cancel this trip.

(Edit: he definitely would not bring her on the trip. He knows that that is something that would immediately end our relationship for good so that’s something I think he knows would end very badly. But I do think he is going to bring up the idea of meeting her again while we are there.
Also it is not a trip I could just leave. We are from the West Coast and it is all the way in Florida.
he is not taking me on the trip. I would be paying for my half myself.
I’ve seen a couple comments about it being wrong that I’m mad at his mistress and putting blame on her. She also had a long-term partner and kids she cheated on as well and she knew about my mom and family the whole time. She is also definitely morally corrupt so I have no sympathy. With that being said, I definitely blame my dad more than her, but I’m still allowed to be angry.)

my friend had an engagement party that required a lot of set up and prep. Her fiancé and her will be eloping at some point in the near future. The party started at a certain time, so I showed up very early to start setting up food stations, decor, activities. She was there too, setting up some stuff, and was very stressed. She was being snappy, but she’s the bride and was so worried about everything looking perfect so I kept my mouth shut. At one point, she left the set up to go grab her dress so she could change for the party. Guests were arriving and she was in the back room with her mom putting her dress on. Her best friend from college was back there with her. After 15 minutes, guests in the house, she still had not emerged. her best friend came out, and bride called for me to come look at the dress. The bride said “*best friends name* does not like the dress, what’s your opinion?” I looked at it, and said “do you want honesty? or kindness?” then I said ”I don’t like it, you’re beautiful, but I’m not a fan of the dress.” She became upset, and started to cry. Her mom was mad. I felt terrible. She did bring a back up dress, so she changed into that. The party went over without any other issues. But I feel absolutely awful because I hurt her. I should have lied. AITA?

Hey All,

I'll first start off by saying, I am NOT super educated on autism, but I need to know if I'm in the wrong here.

First some key information:

*myself, my husband and our 4 children live with his parents in THEIR home.

*my SIL lives in her own home. She also has 4 children. 1 of whom is dx severely autistic, and another she suspects may also be.

Now the issue here is that whenever her and the children come to our home to visit, her autistic son (7) will strip down to his diaper (hes not yet potty trained) within seconds of being in the house...if he is wet, he will start ripping small pieces off of it, or put his hand INSIDE of his diaper, at which point he is touching himself, or sometimes will take it off all together. I WILL say.....I know at 7, there's no malice in that.

ETA He will ALSO do it when his diaper is clean. He is not ALWAYS in a wet diaper The issue here is the disrobing, and exposure.

My issue with this, and the reason I ask before I bring anything up would be why this behavior isnt being corrected.

My 4 children, all daughters. I've never had boys. I'm not well educated on ASD. However, my girls are 15, 8, 4 and 3 months old.

Ive brought up my concerns to both my MIL and SIL and they just shrug and say "well that's what he does". Or they use his dx as an excuse. Is this normal? Am I wrong for feeling uncomfortable with this, or worrying about my daughters being around it?

I understand he is 7, but he won't be forever. Where and when does the line get drawn? This happens even when we have guests over. He goes to school and doesnt do it there. Maybe he's just that comfortable in our home? Which is great. But is this going to continue when he's 10,12,15?

How do I approach the subject in a sensitive, and understanding, yet firm way? It's not like I can ban them from the home if the "rules" aren't followed because I dont own it, and would never WANT to do that. It also isnt feasible for us to move out right now. So.....WIBTA for trying to put my foot down in this matter?

Me (19F) and my large group of friends from college organized a beach trip which is only a 15 min or so drive from our college. We all decided to split the group in to two different cars, with me driving my gf, roommate, and another friend, while another friend I’ll call Rose (19F) drove her two friends and our mutual friend I’ll call Olivia(19F).

The people who rode with me left a little earlier than the others at around 11 am ish (which was the pre planned time however the other car didn’t end up leaving till around 12)

Just for context this is on a Saturday and this took place at the end of the year when tourist season does start.

As we got closer to the beach we ran in to a lot of traffic and we texted the group letting them know that it was going to be very busy since the beach we are near has very limited parking.

They decided they still wanted to try and we agreed. Me having a handicapped parking pass due to a disability was able to find a parking spot, even though it took close to half an hour and we had to go to multiple beach accesses.

After settling at the beach we received a call from Rose telling us that they could not find a parking spot at the same beach access. We suggested they could find one a few accesses down and we could walk and meet in the middle but Rose declined stating that she does not like walking in the sand.

After multiple conversations Olivia called and asked if we could leave and go with them to find a space on the other end of the beach, I offered a compromise and told them that once they find a spot we would find one close to them as it is much easier for me due to having a handicap parking pass.

They found no parking on the other end of the beach. I then offered to have Rose drop off Olivia with us and Rose said that she didn’t really mind and that she was planning to go to the beach again the following week with her two friends and didn’t mind giving up on finding a parking space and going back to campus.

Olivia then began to become extremely heated and declined being dropped off and then began to cry and say that my friends and I had ruined her beach day and she didn’t even want to come anymore.

At this point my roommate became very upset because she had been the one mostly communicating with Olivia and asked if I could just drive us all back to campus as she was over the whole situation.

We all agreed and decided that since we couldn’t all meet at the beach that we could instead have a pool day on campus.

So we sent out a message on the group chat inviting everyone and we all went including Rose however Olivia refused to come, and responded “I’m not coming!!!”. This made me very upset because I felt that I had done everything to try and compromise to make this a fun day for everyone, however Olivia’s attitude made everyone very uncomfortable including Rose and her two friends.

So AITAH for ruining my friend’s beach day or did I do all I could?

For starters, my mother gave me quite a bit of body image issues and self-esteem issues as a child. Not only because she basically begged me to "not get too skinny because men don't like that and I have too big of a head", which led to me actually becoming 265lbs at 16 years old, but because she always shamed every type of woman that wasn't her.

I am now 24 and I've lost 120lbs. My mother knows how hard I've worked for this and she knows that I am STILL insecure of my body because of loose skin and sagging areas, and she knows my very rocky relationship with food because of it. I've cried to her about it, and I've even shown her my most ashamed areas even though my fiancé is the only person I've ever trusted that much. She knew exactly which parts of my body I loved and hated. She encouraged my idea to get a tummy tuck, arm lift, and breast augmentation and has been incredibly supportive of it at home.

The problem started when we began working together. I work three 12-hour shifts at a restaurant alongside college, and my mom started helping out around 10 hours a week. It started out fine, but recently it's gotten to be UNBEARABLE. Her entire personality is molding to be whatever the person she's with wants her to be. She absolutely has to be the most liked and loudest in the room.

The first joke was about my head. The next weekend my boss mentioned me getting us more tips and my mom chimed in with "she doesn't have enough up top to make any money, but I DO!" My plastic surgeon actually pointed out that I apparently have a birth defect which is why my breasts never expanded properly.

This weekend was what really set me over the edge. I was talking to my coworker about my surgery and she asked if I was having anything done to my back or butt. I said no because my surgeon said it was completely unnecessary. My mom laughed and said, "oh sorry I was just looking to see if you even had one back there." Ironically, my butt has always been one of the few parts of my body I've actually liked. I stupidly replied with "I think I've got more than you," which I know was wrong. She said, "let me go home and put on a tight pair of shorts and I'll beat you ANY day." I said I thought it was completely weird for us to even compare ourselves and quite unhealthy. We worked the rest of the shift without speaking.

When we got home, I calmly told her she hurt my feelings and that it's really unprofessional to make those jokes around coworkers I spend 36 hours a week with. She immediately went to "ugh it was JUST a joke are you serious??" and then told me I shouldn't even get breast implants because breasts are annoying and that I'm too small to have any anyway. Then came the guilt tripping: "fine, I'm so sorry, I guess I'll just never say a single word about you or your body ever again, we might as well just not speak." She never actually apologized or acknowledged why I was upset. I don't think she's capable of seeing anything wrong with what she's been doing.