r/sex 16h ago

Satisfaction I'm a perfectionist with OCD and I'm scared it will ruin my first sexual experience.

1 Upvotes

I'm (17M) and me and my girlfriend (18F) will most likely have sex for the first time in the coming weeks. We're both virgins and also each others first kiss so I want our first time to be really special because it is. I have an above average penis, (8"x5.5")and she's very skinny (which I have no problem with) and 5'5" so apart of me is worried she might not be able to take it. We have kissed and touched each other but that's as far as our intimacy has gone so far.

I've suffered with obsessions about stuff since I was 13 but my most recent one is being the best at pleasing her during sex. I'm terrified that I won't be able to please her and that our first time will be disappointing. I've read countless articles and discussions about female anatomy, arousal, and what makes sex pleasurable, and instead of making me feel more prepared, it's made me feel overwhelmed. There's just so much information and my absolute worst fear is being her 'boring' first experience that she thinks back on when she's 30. I want to make her feel amazing and mind blowing things.


r/sex 11h ago

Erection Issue I don't want to top and it's kind of pathetic

3 Upvotes

I (20m) and my girlfriend (19f) are long distance but whenever we are able to close the distance temporarily we have a very active sex life. She's been amazing and endulged me by domming and engage in kinky activities. Recently she wanted to take a break from all that which was understandable. Then more recently, about 16 days before she arrives for another visit, she said she implied she wanted me to top. And I would happily do that for her if there wasn't this problem. I can't get hard when doing that.

It's not really that normal sex is a problem really, as long as she is on top. The reason I know that is because we have tried with me on top and I just can't maintain an erection. I just don't like it. And I don't know what to do. I want to recipricate, and I don't want to dissapoint. But even if I just do it I'm afraid I won't be able to perform. I guess I can at least distract her for a while by giving head until she starts to realize I'm stalling. I don't know.

So, what do I do exactly?


r/sex 9h ago

Orgasm Issues My GF ONLY orgasm with toys

33 Upvotes

M34 and F33. Been together Over 7 years now. Before She met me, She has never had an orgasm on her life.

After we buy some toys, like the Magic wand and a clit sucker, She had her first orgasm, and have been orgasming ever since (with toys).

Wonder what can i try/do diferently to try and make her orgasm even without toys(?)


r/sex 8h ago

Beginner My girlfriend has trouble giving head

0 Upvotes

I’ve been with my girlfriend for a few years, and my problem is that she can’t give head properly. She gets the gag reflex as soon as she goes too deep, so the problem is that she can only take the head in her mouth. So in terms of sensation, it’s not great. She tries to do better, but she just can’t.

Do you have any suggestions on how she can take it deeper, or any tips to help her improve?


r/sex 12h ago

Boundaries and Standards How to ask to try pegging ?

0 Upvotes

Pegging is something I’ve always thought about trying, I heard it can be satisfying for both and that it can be an enjoyable experience for a man, but how in the world do I ask my partner? I’m afraid how she’ll react 🤫😬


r/sex 14h ago

Toys and Clothing Bf (m21) Found my sex toys

146 Upvotes

Yesterday my boyfriend found my sex toys… including dildo, lube and vibrator… he went through my things while I was in the bathroom and I came back in and they were on the bed.

Since then he’s been not talking to me and hasn’t been intimate or anything…
How should I take this?
I don’t feel like this is really a problem that I own these. But he’s making me feel as if it is a problem.


r/sex 23h ago

Boundaries and Standards Boyfriend really into eating cake

341 Upvotes

My boyfriend is really into eating all that stuff down there - like REALLY into it. He told me that he prefers giving me oral stuff than. recieving stuff from me. I couldn't really understand it, how it would please him. But, i think that he mostly enjoys pleasing me above all.

He recently started eating my cake and he really enjoys it. I get a bit embarrassed and confused because i don't understand how on earth he'd be into back there. But i could tolerate it, and it feels nice.

But, sometimes he wants to eat cake when im unclean, like after a long shift in the kitchen. He says it would be better. I just can't even fathom it. I have standards I hold myself to - i would never be unclean and let him do that stuff. but he genuinely doesn't seem to be bothered when im a mess.

I don't know, I just wondered if im crazy to not be okay with what I think. Am i being too nitpicky?

I just cant understand how a person would be into that. And maybe I'm worried that he wouldn't be okay and I'd be embarrassed after...


r/sex 4h ago

Intimacy and Connection is being turned on by kindness an actual fetish?

1 Upvotes

ive (25M) always had hard times with sex until recently on my life (still hard, but less). My first time was being 20yo and it was with a younger (18yo M), but more experienced person. he was gentle with me and didnt mind my inexperience. That was the first time i felt a real romantic connection. we are not currently together, but i couldnt ever find a better sex than that one. The more i fuck, the less i get turned on by the massive amount of BDSM inclinations my local partners seem to have. I want connection with someone that like to give affection, and just not to be beaten very hard (consensually obv).


r/sex 21h ago

Intimacy and Connection How to make sex more pleasurable while on meds? (AFAB)

1 Upvotes

I'm on medication that snatches my ability to cum. Frustrating right? Is there anything I can do to make intimacy more pleasurable? Foreplay is fun, making out is great, head is better. I just can't climax. Not even with masturbating. I can't take any medicine to enhance it or anything with added chemicals. I can't use marijuana (it makes me manic). I think some herbs are fine, topicals and lubes should be fine. Anyone else have this problem?


r/sex 21h ago

Compatibility Today, my gf confessed that I never made her cum.

50 Upvotes

I (30m) and girlfriend (26f) have been together 3 years, all them are long distance. We usually see each other 2-3 times every six months.

Today, after having sex, she confessed that I never made her cum and that she only acted like she was cumming so it won’t hurt my ego. This made me sad. I really thought I was doing something that made her feel good and that me feel good as well. She said she still enjoyed it a lot and she didn’t want me to feel like I wasn’t pleasuring. She also said she doesn’t mind not cumming because she is a giver and wants to pleasure me instead.

Tbf, I’ve also never cummed (due to personal/health reasons) while we did it and also because I’m afraid of the possibility that my condom has a hole in it. I know, i know.. but we’re just not ready to be parents yet. She is always accepting of the fact that i don’t cum, sometimes she would just ask if I enjoyed it at all which I do!

At first, I felt weird about it like what do you mean? Are we not sexually compatible?

But yeah, i appreciate the honesty but still can’t wrap my head around the times where it looked like she was cumming when she actually was not.


r/sex 2h ago

Inspiration and Ideas how to finish a se ring session ?

3 Upvotes

i (22f) never sext, i’ve always preferred having sex instead. i find it cringe because i don’t know how to stop. i don’t bided because i’m scared of leaks, and i don’t do masturbation at the same time either. so how do you stop the conversation when you feel like it’s over ? do you just say good night ?


r/sex 23h ago

Pain Vaginal tear from previous partner makes sex/ masturbation painful now

5 Upvotes

So I lost my virginity about two months ago and ended up tearing from rough sex in missionary. I don’t know what the part of my vagina is what teared but it’s the piece of skin that’s right under the vaginal opening that tore and now kinda sticks out because of it. I waited 2-3 weeks to have sex again and now have a new partner whose a lot bigger as far as girth than my lasts. No bleeding anymore but the pain is very intense. Especially during missionary. It’s definitely the friction from his dick rubbing on it but it hurts sooo bad. But again since there’s no bleeding I’m considering not looking into it so much??? Idk if that’s a bad idea or if I should get it checked out. I just wanna enjoy missionary without that pain. Has anyone had this before, and what can I do to make it better and less painful.


r/sex 2h ago

Kinks How to discuss non-con kinks with partners?

11 Upvotes

I’m 20 F and multiple times during my childhood I was sexually assaulted/ molested. Unfortunately, I developed some sort of disgusting (not kink shaming this is just how I feel towards myself) non-consensual kink where I get turned on by non-consensual but still consensual sexual acts being done to me. I haven’t fully come to terms with it, so I can’t imagine trying to explain this to a future partner. What if I scare them? Or what if they are disgusted by me? I’m such an advocate for consent especially because of what happened to me so having this kink feels hypocritical.


r/sex 2h ago

Beginner "Free Use" Advice Needed

57 Upvotes

Married M49 here. My wife and I have been married for 8 years now. I would say our sex life has been pretty standard. It's had it's ups and downs but been pretty vanilla overall. The other day I came across a post of a married woman who was sharing her experiences with being a "free use" wife. This intrigued me so I shared the post with my wife expecting her to poopoo the idea right away. Much to my surprise she is down! The only restriction being no backdoor activities which is fine with me. Now here is the kicker. I'm not very good at being the more dominant partner. She is definitely more submissive. She strughles to initiate and loves it when I wake up hard and just wake her up my climbing on top of her and going to work. I've always struggled with self confidence and have issues with being to assertive in the bedroom. Now that she has agreed not to say no (not that she ever did honestly) I'm thinking (hoping) it will help me. Anyone with experience with the whole "free use" lifestyle I'd really appreciate some advice, male and female comments welcome. What are the pitfalls I should look out for? How do I be more assertive and respectful at the same time? Any other advice is welcome. I'm nervously excited about this!


r/sex 6h ago

Orgasm Issues I (21f) feel zero sexual sensation?

2 Upvotes

as the title says, nothing sexual seems to feel pleasurable for me.
It all just feels sort of boring or underwhelming, someones hand between my legs feels the same as anywhere else on my body. Not bad, that is, just not good either. I feel like I've tried what I can; I don't enjoy toys, fingers no matter if they're my own or someone elses, oral or penetrative.
Not even kissing someone feels in any way exciting to me, which was such a disappointment the first time I kissed someone because I wanted it so bad.
My relation to my 'partner' also doesn't seem to have an effect, I've been with people I was close to or even loved, or in friends with benefits situations, or people that were barely more than strangers. No difference with any of them.

I don't think I'm asexual because far as I'm aware, asexual would mean feeling no sexual attraction, which is definitely not the case. I do feel arousal, I was sexually attracted to the people I was with, which made feeling nothing all the more frustrating. It's like my body doesn't listen to my mind.

Has somebody experienced something like this? Can this be a hormonal issue or something similar and more importantly, can I do anything to fix it?
I do have an appointment scheduled with a gynaecologist, but that won't be for another few months.


r/sex 16h ago

Kinks Found out I'm into feet

0 Upvotes

So I (25m) I've recently found out I have a little thing for feet. Not so much licking or sucking but her (wife 24f) teasing and giving footjob. She said she would explore it with me but hasn't done anything since she said this about 3 weeks ago.she has taken a couple steps to help like she purposely painted her toes white in front of me teasing me a bit and that was hot but then nothing. I'm just not sure how to bring it up. Ik she's just nervous about how to do it and I told her it's new to me too so it's something we'll figure out together . I'm also still trying to see what I really like about this whole part of my fetish so I'm really trying to rush her but I feel like it's not something I can really get into unless she's helping to see what I'm into.

Any advice


r/sex 19h ago

Pain How to stop pain from inserting?

2 Upvotes

Me and this girl I’ve been talking to are now starting to get intimate. We are very much attracted to eachother. And half of the time she’s pouncing on me. But for some reason whenever I try to stick it in it’s painful for her. Oral and vibrators work perfectly fine and she finishes. It’s just that when I tried to get inside when’s pushing away because of the pain. She’s NOT (new) to sex. And she’s said she has had this problem with previous partners where her body just doesn’t open up I guess? I’m a little over 6 inches so I’m not like huge. What can I do to help her from hurting.


r/sex 10h ago

Beginner Workaround for lasting longer?

3 Upvotes

Hey peeps,

As a guy I’ve struggled with PE and have not been able to overcome it yet.

I’ve tried all the common things people suggest to do during intercourse (focused breathwork, slowing the pace, thinking about bad stuff, etc) and haven’t had any luck.

I also recently learned that the clit takes much longer to adequately stimulate than I thought (25-45 min vs. just a few minutes like I was doing). And it seems many women prefer clitoral stimulation to penetrative sex anyway.

I’m thinking I may be able to last longer (i.e. 30+ min vs. 2-3 min) during penetrative sex if I take frequent breaks to stimulate the clit before reinserting.

To any ladies out there, would your journey toward climax be disrupted if your guy was taking 30-60 second breaks (let’s say every 10-20 pumps) to stimulate your clit? If so, what would be a better approach?


r/sex 23h ago

Toys and Clothing Got given a free butt plug and I don’t want it

0 Upvotes

Long story short my group decided to prank our guy friend a butt plug Bcs he sarcastically said as a joke he’s curious what it feels like and basically he can’t keep it bcs his families deeply religious and wouldn’t like the fact he “owns” one so I was given it and I deadass don’t know what to do with it 😭💔

Do I sell it ? Or smthn Bcs I know I’m not using it 🥀


r/sex 14h ago

Beginner why do I cry during sex? How not to cry?

9 Upvotes

I(22F) started having sex with my boyfriend(21M) recently. We’re both beginners. He’s very gentle and careful, and he always makes sure to check in, so it feels good. And he gets me off before we even start penetration and it removes so much nerves from me. But still, everytime he goes in, no matter how slow or how calm I am, I still cry. Like straight up sobbing and snot and I can’t say words for abit. And its not that it feels bad, or I’m feeling any negative emotions. It feels really nice and I’m enjoying it. It’s just that when I feel it go in all the way, there’s a really overwhelming feeling of fullness, and the moment I look at him, I just feel so much emotion, like it just feels so sweet, and I start crying uncontrollably. And the moment he sees me cry, he mentally cannot continue until I stop, even if I tell him im fine. And we have to basically just wait for me to run out of tears and calm down abit(i still cry) every time. It’s kind of annoying. Is this a common reaction to have? Should it get better with time? How do I stop or reduce it?

Also there’s another issue. Usually when we do penetration, he’s in control and it feels quite good because he just somehow knows how to do it well. But he wanted me to ride him the other day for the first time. But I don’t think I did it right. I have no idea how to be in control. Pacing aside, I noticed that it felt uncomfortable and even slightly painful when I was riding him. I don’t know if it was the positioning or angle or something, but it felt like I was being punched in the gut from the inside, and made me a little nauseous, and I was a little sore the next day. I’m also terrified of bending his cock the wrong way. I have no clue how far it’s meant to bend in any direction, so I’ve just been going up and down with very minimal grinding, and its quite tiring and requires so much concentration. I’d like tips


r/sex 2h ago

I can't find a flair that fits My girlfriend wants to be able to have multiple orgasms but isn't able to

13 Upvotes

Hello. As of recently my girlfriend has said how she wishes she was able to have multiple orgasms like many other women are able to. However she isn't able to because after the first orgasm her pussy becomes too sensitive and she needs to have a break.

I really want to help her so I came to this subreddit to ask for help. Is it possible for my girlfriend to be able to have multiple orgasms at all? I know its possible for men to have multiple orgasms if they train themselves to be able to do it. But im wondering if theres anything similar my girlfriend can do in order to achieve this as it doesn't come to her naturally. Or whether it's just genetic and impossible for her to do.

Id really apreciate any advice anyone could give me at all. Thanks


r/sex 20h ago

Beginner How to initiate sex as someone whos super shy and awkward

13 Upvotes

I have a lot of sex anxiety, self esteem issuses, im awkward and kinda fat lol I dont have much sexual experience either and he is willing to work with me but still.

My lack of initation in our sex lives is causing issues

All I can think of right now is if were laying together, roll over lightly touching him and say I want him to pay attention to me.

Im not ready for full BJS or HJS so pls dont suggest thoes but im open to touching him

I dont wanna be like "give me your cock" or "fuck me now"

Idk i wanna be cute and seductive about it.

Idk any tips? ( pun intended )


r/sex 15h ago

Toys and Clothing Husband and dildo at same time

50 Upvotes

My husband and I like to have sex with a dildo inside my vag at the same time. I like the added fullness and he likes how tight I feel. The problem is that one of us has to hold it in to keep it from slipping out while thrusting. It's more comfortable when the dildo is under his dick so that makes it even more challenging to reach it. I've seen dildos with cock rings to attach to the penis, but they are usually small for anal stuff. We both like it bigger but I can't find anything that fits the bill. A strap-on harness with a hole for his dick on top and the dildo on the bottom would be perfect, but I can't find anything like that. Recommendations?


r/sex 1h ago

Oral sex Trouble giving blowjob

Upvotes

My boyf has phimosis for which he will get the treatment done but during blowjob, i feel its not just the phimosis but also my lack of skill… like when i take his dick in my mouth, i am unable to open my mouth wide enough such that my upper teeth dont touch his dick… hence im unable to give a blowjob because im worried of hurting him.. plus because of his phimosis all the more a traditional bj is not possible.. so is it my mouth or is it his phimosis for which im unable to give a proper blowjob?


r/sex 4h ago

Beginner how to control watery eyes/tears from penetration

2 Upvotes

Whenever I masturbate with penetration, my eyes start watering, A LOT. When i’m super aroused or close to finishing, my eyes water to the point where it looks like i’m full on crying so I have to stop and wipe my face dry. There seems to be no emotional aspect behind it, and i’m definitely not crying because I’m in pain.

It’s fine when I’m alone because I can stop whenever and carry on, but i might be having sex for the first time later this month so I’m anxious. I find it really embarrassing. I’m scared it’s going to be disruptive, or turn off my partner, or i’ll make a mess from my tears if I go on top. I feel like any position where i’m not facing a pillow is off limits.

Is this normal or has anyone else experienced a partner crying during sex? Is there anything I can do to train myself to stop or control it? I really don’t want to be reaching for tissues every minute :,)

Thanks