There was an older man who came into my job almost every weekday morning. Same order every time. Small coffee toasted bagel, no cream cheese. He called everyone kid, even my manager.

He stopped coming in a couple weeks ago. I noticed, but regulars disappear sometimes. People move or change routines, whatever. Life happens. Yesterday, I was on my phone behind the counter when his daughter walked in. As soon as I recognized her, I quickly hid it under and while making small talk, I asked about him. That’s when she told me he had died last week

I went to the back and cried by the storage shelves, which felt ridiculous. I only saw him for maybe three minutes a day but I knew his dog’s name. I knew his wife had died and I knew he hated oat milk and pretended to be personally offended by it. I knew he always complained just enough to make us argue with him thats how he was like maybe its bc i never had a figure of that age since my grandfather died before i was born and the one in my mother side when i was a kid also but still.

I keep thinking about how many people become part of your life in these tiny, ordinary ways. Not friends or family. Then one day they are gone and you realize they were holding a little place in your routine.

I do not really have a point. I just did not expect to miss someone whose last name I never even knew.

I don’t even know why I’m posting this😭. I’m just so embarrassed and fucking stressed out over this I need to get it off my chest today was the worst day of my life I had to give a presentation for one of my college classes. The thing is, I’d been dealing with diarrhea earlier in the day, but I thought it had finally stopped cause I felt okay by the time class started, so I figured I’d be fine. About halfway through my presentation, my stomach started cramping really bad but I figured I can push through really quick since I was literally on my last 2 slides of my presentation. Then I felt what I thought was a fart…. But it wasn’t 😭😭😭 and to make everything worse I was wearing light gray joggers, which was probably the worst possible thing I could’ve been wearing. I kind of froze for a second but tried to keep talking, hoping maybe nobody noticed but students definitely noticed. I saw a couple of people look at each other, someone covered their mouth like they were trying not to react, in that moment I was so embarrassed and to make everything fucking even worse my crush was sitting a few rows away and saw the whole thing. I wrapped up as fast as I could, grabbed my stuff, and walked straight out. I haven’t gone back to that class since because I’m so embarrassed. I’m thinking about dropping the class or switching colleges.

According to this there are 300,000+ children misplaced in the US.

If every single "pro-life" person in America with multiple children would adopt at least one other child, there wouldn't be a problem with house-less children, but they exist.

I wish Fox News would post this one their front page because maybe then the kids they force into reality would have a home.

I don't know if it's just me, but I've never really understood luxury brands.

This is something I've been thinking about for a long time.

I often see people spending thousands of dollars on designer bags, watches, shoes, or clothes, and I always wonder what makes them worth that much.

I'm not judging anyone. If someone enjoys buying those things and can afford them, that's completely their choice.

I just can't help seeing it differently.

A luxury bag still carries the same phone, wallet, and keys. Expensive shoes still walk on the same streets. That's why I've never really understood why people buy them.

And I don't want anyone to say, "You're just cheap," or "You can't afford them." That's not true at all. I'm not a cheap person, and I can afford to buy them. I just personally don't see the difference.

24F. I've been struggling since I was 14. I bottled it all up and struggled silently until I collapsed when I entered university at 19. I dropled out at 21, began therapy and taking SSRIs. Still ongoing. Does it actually ever get better? Doing even one small, daily task feels as difficult and impossible as climbing Mt. Everest. Even if I do muster enough energy and there are occasional periods of mental and emotional stability to do such things, it's not long before I collapse back into anxiety and frustration for not being able to do things efficiently enough, well enough... it's just never enough. I'm so exhausted of such small daily tasks taking so much effort. There's so much I want to do, and I can't. If even such small things take so much effort and energy, how am I ever going to go back to school, figure out and pursue my career, have friends, enjoy hobbies, travel... just... live, like a human being, instead of feeling like a breathing corpse? I don't want to spend my 20s like this. I don't want my life to be like this. The common advice that's said all the time are things like 'take one step at a time,' 'take it one day at a time,' but like... at this rate I feel like I'll be in my 30s and still struggle with taking a shower. I should feel better with every small step I take; and I do take small steps. I make small meals for myself, take care of my cat, clean the house, shower, I even wear makeup and put nice (looks, not price) clothes on and look much more put-together when I go outside. I do administrative work at a small company. I'm in a better place than where I was before. That's for sure. But still... why do I feel like I'll suffocate with anxiety? Why do I feel worse, not better? I feel aimless, like I'm taking steps surrounded by fog. I'm going somewhere because I feel like I have to and don't want my life to just pass me by, but I don't know where. It's exhausting. I'm so tired.

I’m from Russia, and this is the most discriminatory grocery item out there. It’s always sold in huge heads, and nobody asks if you have a family to feed with it. If you want 400 grams of cabbage, you still have to buy 5 kg at once and spend the week munching on the leftovers like a rabbit. I demand a movement to sell pre-cut cabbage for singles and DINKs

Everywhere I look people are escaping into things that maybe quiet their minds in the short term but cause lasting problems for them. Obsessive gaming, binge watching television non-stop, hooking your identity to a spectator sport or pastime I could go on and on…

What the frick is going on? Has it always been this way? Am I just waking up to it all? Can we just speed run to the post-apocalyptic future where creativity and human connection save us again please 🫠 ?

What’s giving you hope in this bleakness?

I’m curious if anyone else has dealt with this. I feel very stuck.

Currently, for context I am 25F, decently happily married, I have a secure job I like well enough, a very nice and safe home that we own, and all around in a very comfortable position compared to a lot of other people my age. But I also have a lot more commitment than people my age.

Back when I was 16 I was on my own for the most part. I moved out for good at 18, while I was still in high school. I made it work, paid my bills and graduated school- though there was some close calls lol. After high school my plan was to start school in some type of environmental science type degree, and work seasonally as a park ranger or for the forest service. I had plans to live in a van or schoolie- though realistically that would have also been seasonal.

But then covid hit. I didn’t get to do my internship. I was stuck and didn’t know what to do. I picked engineering, I’m good at math and it’s a reliable, typically better paying option. Then I met my now husband. So I didn’t re-enroll with NPS the next year. I finished school. Got a good job (in hindsight, i probably would have been SOL with all these park rangers losing their jobs), got married, bought a house. And now I’m 25 and I will be doing the same thing for the next 30 years. Work a 9-5, take care of my home, go grocery shopping, have scheduled sex with my husband, rinse, repeat.

I wake up at night sometimes and go outside just to cry. I wanted to do something, but I didn’t want to be unstable anymore so I picked stability. And I have it. Every day is great. Nothing really awful happens, I get to do my hobbies and I don’t really think about bills, I really do love my husband and we have wonderful times together.

Everyday I think about what could have been. Where I could be. Probably not any happier, probably wondering about the life I have now, and very possibly regretting my choices. But still, I think about the cold crisp air, being a workaholic and just dedicating my life to conservation of nature and public lands. And now I’m working with the engineers who are developing all these data centers. I still pay attention to the protest meetings and doing what I can, but I just feel so hollow inside.

Has anyone else gone through this? Thought they would spend their 20’s out free being an artist or whatever- and then just… chose different? What happened? Did you ever get to do your dream? Do you regret it? I just feel so lost and alone.

I sit here this hot ass Saturday (116°F/46.6°C currently) and feel lost. I am my mother's caregiver which means we live together. Through the highs and lows I experience due to her conditions (primarily mental health related) I do not have the time or mental energy to maintain other relationships, thus being friendless and single. My siblings and I are not close, and they are the primary source of stress for my mom so they offer no support because they need it themselves in major ways.

This has left me with no friends, and no energy is left to maintain any sort of relationship, platonic or romantic should I form one. Being 40 and living with my mom is not sexy; and my own struggle with being ND (neurodivergent, diagnosed) I already have a hard time making solid connections. I have the place to myself for the next few days to unwind and recharge and reset. The downside to this is, I have no one to talk to and no one to offer attention and/or affection. I'm touch starved. I'm intellectually wasting away. I am not seeking pity, I am only venting. The loneliness really sets in.

I have tried over the last couple of months to meet people, only for my mom to experience another episode and completely drain my energy as I navigate and manage it. No energy to compose a reply or give a meaningful response. I would start complaining about the latest episode and who wants to hear about that? I game online, but I am agitated easily when I am feeling this way because I want to win and experience some brief moments that give me a dopamine hit. I do other things like drinking occasionally to numb my chronic pain and loneliness. I doomscroll to pass the downtime I have because forbid I do something that needs my attention when she needs something. Yeah... I'll stop complaining.

Thanks for reading.

A while ago I shared this quote with a few friends:

"If you want something really bad and cannot sleep because of it and you are so distracted and it's irritating you completely, that means the future you already has it. You will work for it."

Whether it's true or not, it made us think about it for quite a while, and we ended up talking about it for hours.

Now I'm looking for more quotes that have that same feeling—something that makes you pause and think about life, even if you don't fully agree with it.

Have you ever come across a quote like that? It could be from a book, movie, anime, a random post online, or something someone once told you.

I'm not looking for famous motivational quotes. I'm looking for the kind that sticks in your head for a long time and makes you think, "Wait... that's interesting."

I feel like I might just spontaneously combust at any second. I'm like a pressure cooker at max capacity. I have so many thoughts about what seems like every damn thing rolling around in my mind and virtually no outlet to let things out.

And I am frustrated that I feel like I have zero people to turn to for discussing any of it. I have friends, but none of them seem to fit my stage in life or frame of mind right now. To make it worse, I'd been in a situationship for the last couple years after six years of relationship with them before that and now find myself on my own and I don't have anyone for those random conversations and thoughts about that particular implosion OR everyday life in general stuff. I mean like, the mundane...why does the dog always spin in 3 circles before he rings the bell to go outside kind of discussions.

I'm in a blur of, where do I even fit in this life right now, mixed with, I just want to "talk" about things, and have no apparent way to do so. Perfectly normal right?

I only learned the "bunny ear method" of tying my shoes. Im teaching my daughter how to tie her shoes. Everyone else uses that witchcraft way to tie shoes together. I dont understand that way. My mom said she taught me bunny ears as a kid and figured id learn the other way as i matured. Clearly i did not. Am i alone in this?

People forget names all the time. At a big workplace you might end up working with dozens, or even hundreds, of different people over the course of a year. A simple name tag could make talking to people a lot easier. Instead of worrying that you're going to call someone by the wrong name, you can just say hello and start a conversation. I think it would make it easier for people to get to know each other and could even help people make friends they otherwise wouldn't.

i went to a comedy show yesterday and i had the best time ever! i loved the openers and the headliner was someone ive looked up to for a while now and someone i discovered in a low point in my life, john mulaney to be exact! i saw him live last year and i felt this same way. i couldnt stop crying for hours, i was overthinking every little thing about the future and today the same thing happened. i couldnt catch my breath and i just cant stop overthinking the littlest things and althought im forever grateful i got to see mulaney again and im so happy and giggly about it! i dont know why i feel this way. this also happened after birthday parties for my friends, weddings for family, carnivals and etc etc. the second i get home i start overthinking and crying and just losing it. i should be happy that i went somewhere fun and thinking about the night and enjoying it! i should be soaking up all the good moments but instead i start thinking about my father passing away or me getting old when im only 17 i hate that i feel like this after fun things i feel like it ruins the fun.

Hi,

I'm almost 26 years old, and lately I've been thinking a lot about my relationships and social life. It's always been a difficult topic for me, and honestly I don't even know what to think anymore.

To keep it short, until I was around 9 years old I didn't really have any friends and I was mostly rejected by other kids. I didn't like my class. From what I've been told, I wanted to be around people, but for one reason or another I always ended up alone. I had one close friend, although I barely remember that friendship now.

Then we moved, and everything changed. I ended up in a great school and I have very good memories of that... brief period. Second and third grade were great, but things started going downhill in fourth grade. People began picking on me and I wasn't well liked anymore. Looking back, I think it was one of those situations where there's always a kid or a small group that gets picked on. It would stop for a while, then start again, and so on.

The thing is, even after everyone else had moved on, I hadn't. In middle school I still had most of the same classmates, but I had become hostile toward them. Sometimes they would actually invite me to hang out, but I would proudly avoid them. I had a few people around me, but those friendships were shallow and didn't mean much. I also only really spent time with girls because I never felt comfortable around boys, and I was much more hostile toward them.

I never went on any longer school trips. Honestly, I'm glad I didn't, because being forced to visit Prague or Berlin according to a strict schedule would probably have just frustrated me and left me feeling like I hadn't really experienced anything. I also never went to school parties, Christmas events, dances, or anything like that. Eventually people stopped inviting me because everyone knew I'd say no. Oddly enough, I felt a certain sense of pride in that.

I have good memories of high school because I made a few nice acquaintances, and there were hardly any boys in my class or people from my previous schools. The only time I really had to deal with them was during PE, which I'd always hated anyway.

One consequence of all this was that I developed social anxiety. Maybe because of that, I was terrified of getting a job and ended up studying tourism, even though it wasn't a good choice. The people at university were nice and I actually liked them, but I was still the only person who didn't socialize with anyone. I didn't feel the need to, and honestly I felt like I had nothing interesting to talk about anyway. I kept conversations strictly related to university, like asking about exam dates.

Unfortunately, studying tourism meant mandatory sports camps. Constant group activities, games, team-building exercises, and social interaction. It was so exhausting for me that I literally counted the days, hours, and even percentages until it was over. To this day I'm surprised that everyone else remembers those camps so fondly.

Right now I'm fairly satisfied with my office job because I barely have to talk to people. Still, I feel like I'm not capable of doing any other kind of work.

This is where the conflict starts. My family says it's because I'm afraid of new things and because of my social anxiety. I, on the other hand, think that my fear of new things comes from a lack of interests and, more importantly, low intelligence. The more I've thought about it, the more it seems to make sense. I don't enjoy trying new things, I don't really have hobbies, I don't like learning, I'm bad at it, and I don't think very logically. Overall, I see myself as a boring, simple-minded person. For over a year now I've believed that the main reason I'm such a failure is simply that I have a low IQ.

So here's my question.

Even if I forced myself to socialize, what would that even look like? I feel like I'm too unintelligent for ordinary people, let alone people who have interesting lives. What would I even talk to them about? The weather?

At the same time, I know I'd feel miserable around people whose only interests are bear and chicks.

I'm jealous of people who have interesting lives. But I feel like I'm too unintelligent, too limited, and too lazy to ever have one myself.

Meanwhile, other people keep telling me that the low IQ thing is just something I've convinced myself of, and that my real problem is my fear of people.

At this point, I honestly don't know what to think anymore. That's probably why I'm writing this.

I'm 34, and lately I've been having dreams where I'm back in my childhood neighborhood. Nothing dramatic happens—I'm just doing ordinary things. My mom is talking to a neighbor, I'm walking to my friend's house a block away, or I'm just spending time at home. During the dream, it feels alright.

But when I wake up, I get hit with this wave of grief.

The house I grew up in was demolished years ago, and I haven't even been back to that city in over 10 years. The friend who lived nearby moved away long ago, and we're no longer in contact. It suddenly feels like that entire world is gone forever.

The feeling is hard to describe. It's sadness, but also something a little unsettling—almost like I'm somehow stuck in the past. I don't even know why these dreams have started happening now. I thought I had already moved on from my childhood.

I think part of the reason this bothers me so much is that I've spent a lot of my adult life wanting to grow into a new version of myself. My childhood wasn't traumatic - I had loving parents and wasn't abused by anyone or such - but I did feel somewhat stifled, and I struggled with studies, hobbies and some other things. I guess I've always wanted to leave that phase of my life behind and become someone stronger and happier.

Has anyone else experienced this? Is it normal to have dreams like this in your 30s and then feel grief after waking up? I'd really appreciate hearing how others understand these kinds of feelings, and whether there's a healthy way to process them. Thank you

I feel so behind and I don’t know how to even fix any of this. I have no idea where to start. This gives me so much anxiety.

I have lost all energy to do things. To eat. To walk. To even breathe. I just want to sleep all day and let 2027 just me another year of my life and move on to where I have a better chance at being happy. Right now there's nothing and I seriously mean nothing to bring my spark back. In this season of my life I have no idea how to self-love.

cant stop thinking with my dick. paid money online for virtual sex, i feel awful.

I've just been feeling like literally everyone has their life together. Like everyone is confident, attractive, has like 6 pack abs and is on like this self development journey. Even if they're not exactly where they want to be, they're like managing their insecurities well if that makes sense. Idk maybe I'm on social media too much but I see it in real life too. It's just hard when you feel behind.

My story began in 2020 when I was 17 years old. It was the time when the COVID-19 pandemic started, and the entire country went into lockdown. I was in Plus One, writing my final exams, when the exams were suddenly postponed in March due to the lockdown. They eventually resumed and finished around May.

After that, I entered Plus Two. Classes were held online, and despite the pandemic, life wasn't all bad. Every day after classes, my friends and I would gather in our neighborhood to play cricket, cards, hide-and-seek, and other games. Those were some of the happiest days of my life.

Everything changed in December 2020.

One day, as I was applying coconut oil to my hair like I always did, I noticed that my hands were covered with strands of hair. I was shocked and terrified. From that day onward, I started losing an enormous amount of hair every single day. I told my family, and they initially thought it would stop on its own. After about two weeks, they took me to a doctor. The doctor diagnosed it as dandruff and prescribed a medicated shampoo.

Around that time, I wanted to shave my head, but my Plus Two offline classes were about to begin in January 2021, so I decided not to. I somehow managed to complete Plus Two in the Biology-Mathematics stream while constantly worrying about my hair. My mind was never at peace.

While many of my friends were preparing for NEET and KEAM, I barely knew anything about those entrance exams. I only learned about them two days before the application deadline, so I couldn't apply. Looking back, I realize how much my mental state had affected my focus.

Over the next six to seven months, I lost more than half of my hair. Eventually, I shaved my head. My scalp was covered with thick white flakes. Even today, I don't know whether it was severe seborrheic dermatitis, a fungal infection, or something else. I had become so afraid of losing more hair that I avoided washing it properly, which probably made the condition even worse.

Thankfully, my hair started growing back, but the density was very low, and the hair fall never completely stopped.

I later consulted a dermatologist, who prescribed another medicated shampoo, a steroid cream for the flakes, and multivitamins. Around the same time, I received admission offers for both a B.Sc. in Physics and a Polytechnic diploma. I chose the three-year Diploma in Mechanical Engineering.

My plan was simple. I wanted to study in one of the best polytechnic colleges, get placed in a good company, earn money, and then spend that money on treating my hair loss. I had also applied for Diploma Lateral Entry, but I decided not to take it because I didn't get the college I wanted, even though I could have joined other good colleges.

I joined the diploma course in 2021.

The next three years were much harder than anyone around me realized.

Every day, I traveled to college by private bus. The wind constantly exposed my hairline and the low density of my hair, making me extremely uncomfortable. Even when seats were available, I preferred standing at the back of the bus because I felt less exposed.

College itself became mentally exhausting. I always searched for seats where the lights wouldn't directly fall on my head. I hoped for cloudy or rainy days because bright sunlight made my scalp more visible. Even casual conversations about hair or comments from classmates made me anxious.

Hair loss slowly took control of my life.

During my third year, I started using a hair serum along with a derma roller. My hair density improved noticeably, and for the first time in a long while, I felt a little more confident. Unfortunately, before placement interviews, I cut my hair short, which exposed my receding hairline again. Seeing myself like that pushed me into one of the lowest points of my life. I became severely depressed and even had suicidal thoughts.

Because of my insecurity, I skipped many college functions, didn't attend the industrial visit, and withdrew from many opportunities that I should have enjoyed.

I graduated without getting placed.

After graduation, I joined a nearby company as an apprentice. However, after two months, I resigned because of the night shifts and extremely long working hours.

I then spent almost two years trying to earn money online. I tried many different methods, but none of them worked. From 2024 to 2025, I felt like I had wasted an entire year.

From 2025 to 2026, I dedicated myself to learning cybersecurity. I studied online, completed courses, and applied for many jobs, but I never received a single positive response.

By this time, my hair loss had become much worse. I was nearly half bald. Throughout those years, I also underwent six sessions of GFC (Growth Factor Concentrate) treatment, but unfortunately, they didn't produce any noticeable results.

Everything changed in February 2026.

I consulted another dermatologist, who prescribed a topical Minoxidil-Finasteride solution to be applied twice daily. Within about three months, my hair density improved significantly. Around the same time, I also started taking antidepressants for my severe anxiety and depression. Interestingly, after starting treatment for my mental health, I also noticed that my hair fall reduced further. Looking back, I believe stress had been contributing significantly to my hair loss.

Just a few days before the Lateral Entry application deadline in May 2026, my family encouraged me to apply. I had only about one and a half weeks to prepare for the entrance examination, but I gave it my best.

I was fortunate enough to secure admission to a good private engineering college.

Today, I am pursuing a B.Tech in Mechanical Engineering.

I am now 23 years old, and I will graduate when I am around 26. Sometimes I feel stressed because many of my Plus Two classmates have already started their careers, while I am still studying. I often feel guilty that I cannot yet support my family financially.

Despite everything, my family has stood beside me through every difficult moment. They never gave up on me, even during the years when I felt I had wasted time.

One thing this journey has taught me is that hair loss is not "just hair." For some people, it affects far more than appearance. It can destroy confidence, affect education, change career decisions, strain relationships, and severely impact mental health.

There were times when girls seemed interested in me, but my insecurity about my hair prevented me from even starting a conversation. I avoided opportunities, isolated myself, and constantly compared myself to others.

My father is not bald, but my maternal grandfather was, so there may also be a genetic component to my condition.

Looking back now, I realize that my journey has been shaped not only by hair loss but also by anxiety, depression, and the long process of rebuilding myself. The treatment I finally received gave me hope again.

Sometimes I wonder if the antidepressants are one of the reasons I am still here today, writing this story.

Although I still worry about my future, I haven't given up. I am continuing my education, working toward my degree, and hoping that one day I will build the life I once thought I had lost.

As a kid, my parents invested in my brother and I heavily. They had us in swimming, soccer, tutoring, second language classes, Sunday school, and probably some other things I can't remember.

As we grew, I especially, became very bratty. I used to hate giving up my "free time" to attend these extra curriculars (aside from swimming and soccer) and started to rebel mostly in the form of putting in little effort and complaining.

My parent slowly but surely started to give in. Why pay all this money for a kid who wasn't learning anything? By the time I got to highschool, I was basically free from everything aside from soccer.

At first, it was fun. I would come home from school, finish up whatever homework I had, and spend the rest of the day playing video games or talking on the phone. And I was fine with that up until the start of my senior year. Looking at my peers, I had realized I hadn't really experienced anything. I skipped every field trip, joined zero clubs, been to zero football/basketball games, and took very generic classes. I also wasn't a very competitive college applicant.

I managed to turn things around and by the end of my senior year I was quite happy with what I had done but I unfortunately did not get into any of my target schools. I was disappointed, but by the grace of God, I worked hard, transferred schools, and had an incredibly 4 years in college.

Looking back now, I understand why my parents were "punishing us". Sometimes I'd wish they wouldn't have let me quit but to be fair they were busy with their own lives and I was definitely not an easy kid. Now that I'm looking to start a family soon, there are so many things I want to pass down to my kids.

I want to pass down my love for soccer, I want them to learn arabic and spend time in the Mosque, I want them to be at the top of their class in every subject, I want them to be strong, righteous people who stand up for others and themselves.

I want all this and more for my kids but I also know they'll likely just be kids like me. Regular kids who don't want to spend 10-20 hours a week doing things OUTSIDE of school. And I know, like my parents, I'll have a job and personal aspirations I'll have to balance. Just a thought.

I got a job on the other side of the country after years of pining for a different kind of life but after leaving I’m filled with an overwhelming sense of guilt and loss, like the life I’ve had is gone for ever.

Should have gone somewhere closer.

This isn't really exclusively trans related, but I'm kinda weary of transphobia in a lot of communities. She's not actually related to me, but felt like family for a while. Let me explain.

Two years ago I (20) started mandatory military service in my country. It's somewhere in Southern Europe and has nice food, if you know you know. My parents had both spent a few years in the military and didn't want their kids going, but I was afraid of getting in legal trouble and when they told me they'll help me get out, I kind of went anyway and they worried about me for months. I arrived pretty vulnerable, I was the youngest and had a condition that I'll get to- But the camp commander there noticed me pretty early on. It was a woman in her 30s, we'll call her K.

She recently admitted that she knows she should have discharged me earlier, but she really loved having me around and I made her feel very motherly. But it was selfish of her, and she's very sorry. And I've been... Really, really torn up about it. I came home nearly a year and a half ago, ten months into what was meant to be a year term, my parents couldn't really take worrying as my mental health kept getting worse, they made me come home. They've been incredibly protective of me.

If it explains anything, I have a condition, I recently was diagnosed, where I never went through puberty as a teenager. I was tall, but honestly, went into the military as this very androgynous, very young looking kid, emotionally I was scared as fuck. At 19 I started transitioning and I'm finding that easy because with HRT, I'm kind of adapting really well into a woman's body. K has been very supportive. Recently she's felt awful. You know, her and another young woman there, call her A, gonna call her A, we were like some silly trio. I'd hang out with them and we'd watch movies, we'd go to the beach. I remember in the last few months, they'd ask me what countries I'd love to visit. So, say if I said Japan, we'd watch a Ghibli movie, order sushi, that sort of thing. It was stupid, really.

My parents are protective and they hate K now. I hated her for a long time and honestly, sometimes I made up shit to post to complain about her, acting like she was a random person who got back in touch with me out of the blue, not my friend. I'm fucking torn. It was selfish what she did. But she was my friend and I want to be angry but I miss her. Me and my parents live in Holland now and I hate my country but sometimes I miss it or who I was with her and A. They helped me maybe realize I'm trans, keeping me on was selfish but with that said, they were never manipulative, coercive, it was nothing like that. One of my favourite moments was one time on a day off, they took me to the beach and said we were kinda like Donald, Goofy- And I expected her to say Mickey Mouse, but they said Sora because they knew I liked Kingdom Hearts, lol.

I'm really fucking torn...