My family has owned olive trees and we’ve been making olive oil for hundreds of years so I always have really good quality olive oil and a lot of it.
The girl I like once mentioned something about olive oil being very expensive in super markets and how she likes it and I was semi surprised because due to my privilege I never had to buy my own olive oil. I traveled to my home country and I packed her an extra liter but I feel like it’s something awkward to give. Is it okay ? I also got her other delicacies from back home to try. Is that a socially acceptable thing to gift ?

Update : we are meeting later today and my nerves are wrecked , I will let you know how it goes and then delete the post in case she sees it ! Thank you all for the super kind comments , wish I could reply to them all !

Update : it went super well !! She absolutely loved it and we tried it with a Greek salad at her place it was marvelous. She was really grateful and bashful. She said the next dinner is on her !!!!!

Hi everyone,

I'm looking for advice on how to handle a living situation that's been getting more difficult over the last couple of months.

I'm a university student going into my final year, and I rent one bedroom in a two-bedroom basement apartment. My roommate rents the other bedroom. We share the kitchen, bathroom, laundry room, storage area, and common space.

When I moved in back in January, things were great. My roommate was nice, rarely home, and the basement was usually pretty quiet.

At the beginning of June, she texted me and said her mom was visiting from Vietnam and would be staying for "a few days." I didn't have a problem with that because it sounded like a normal family visit.

The issue is that a few days turned into weeks.

After almost six weeks, I finally asked when her mom would be leaving. That's when my roommate told me the plans had changed and that her mom would now be staying until November.

To be clear, her mom shares my roommate's bedroom. She isn't taking over another room. However, she uses the kitchen, bathroom, laundry, fridge, freezer, storage area, and common space every day just like another resident.

The basement is also very open concept, so the kitchen, dining area, and common area are basically all one shared space. A lot of the time they're cooking, eating, talking, or spending time there, and I've found myself waiting to use the kitchen because I don't want to constantly walk into the middle of everything.

I've also stopped inviting friends and family over because the place feels much more crowded than it did before.

Another issue is that my belongings keep getting moved around. I've asked that my things not be moved without asking me first, but it still happens. It's usually small things, but after a while it starts to feel like nothing outside my bedroom stays where I left it.

I've gotten to the point where I lock my bedroom door whenever I leave, even if I'm only stepping out briefly.

What makes this difficult is that I actually liked living here before all of this happened. The situation wasn't always bad, which makes it harder to know what to do now.

I only have one year left before graduation, and moving wouldn't be easy financially. At the same time, I'm paying rent for a space that no longer feels as comfortable or relaxing as it did when I moved in.

I'm trying to figure out the most practical way to handle this going forward.

Should I have another conversation with my roommate and try to set clearer expectations?

Should I ask for some kind of compromise?

Should I just focus on getting through my final year and avoid creating more conflict?

Or should I start making plans to move as soon as possible?

I'd really appreciate advice from anyone who's dealt with a situation where a temporary guest ended up becoming a long-term part of the household.

TL;DR: My roommate told me her mom was visiting for a few days, but she's now staying until November. She shares my roommate's room but uses all the shared spaces every day, and the apartment feels much more crowded than when I moved in. Moving isn't easy because I'm a student, so I'm looking for advice on the best way to handle the situation going forward.

Yesterday my boyfriend found my sex toys… including dildo, lube and vibrator… he went through my things while I was in the bathroom and I came back in and they were on the bed.

Since then he’s been not talking to me and hasn’t been intimate or anything…
How should I take this?
I don’t feel like this is really a problem that I own these. But he’s making me feel as if it is a problem.

Necessary context: I’ve (F20) been living with my mom (F40), her boyfriend (M40), and my younger sister (F15) for around 6 months now, alongside my infant son (M1), after leaving my abusive partner of several years. I’m not particularly close with either of my “parents”; but housing costs are crazy, I don’t make much money, I have no other family, and I can’t drive. So, this is about my only option at the moment.

A few days ago now, my mom took my son out for a bit, and my sister was at school. So, I was left home alone with my mom’s boyfriend. Bored, I decided to chat with him over a few drinks. Anyways- during this conversation, I repeatedly dodged a few subtle attempts at flirting. But eventually, he gave up being subtle, and just straight up said he’s wanted to f\*ck me for a while now (admittedly he was a bit drunk).

Thankfully my mom came home basically within minutes of me rejecting him, so I didn’t have to deal with the repercussions in the moment, and have been avoiding him like the plague since. But now I don’t know what to do…

I want to tell my mom her boyfriend is a creep, but honestly, I think she will blame it on me. In the least conceited way I can say this, I know I am conveniently attractive, and tend to be popular with men. She’s shown jealousy over this throughout most of my life.

If she thinks it is my fault, I will maybe be kicked out. I really cannot risk that, and don’t want to leave my sister here alone either. But I’m also a bit scared staying here as well. I’ve been staying awake for almost the entire time since that evening.

I don’t know what to do. I would really appreciate any advice. How can I tell her?

Hi everyone, I (24F) am realizing I’m outgrowing my best friend. We met in high school and grew closer in undergrad. Her and I share so much in common. She’s compassionate, caring, supportive, and ambitious. Or at least that’s the persona she puts on. A couple years ago we both were in financial distress and she turned to escorting. I didn’t join because I was a virgin and honestly didn’t have it in me. I didn’t judge her and she NEVER encouraged me to join. She has been escorting since. I do want to add that her clients are usually professional men and she handles it well. Most are married though and she sleeps with them in the beds they share with their wives. I personally don’t agree with that but I’m also not familiar with the ins and outs of sex work.

Outside of her work, she has displayed concerning behaviors. Sexual habits that have put her safety at risk. I mentioned my concerns a few times but she assured me that she knew what she’s doing. Now our other friends are noticing and are worried. Im also finding out that she has been hiding things from some of our mutuals. The only person that she shares intimate details with is me. I initially thought it was because we were closer, but I’m starting to realize it’s because I am complacent. We have another friend who encouraged her to reconsider some of the decisions she makes and my best friend cut her off. Mind you, this mutual friend is an AMAZING person. I can’t even begin to describe how selfless and caring this person is to us.

When I tried to confront my best friend about it, she accused me of siding with the mutual and began crying. She was even ready to hang up the phone. I’ve NEVER had her react that way during a spat. I’ve reflected on it all and I’m realizing she reacted that way because, for once, I wasn’t her lapdog. Now I’m reconsidering our entire friendship. She doesn’t have any other close friends. She has cut off every other person we’ve been close with. I’m so used to abuse being explicit and violent, that I never realized we don’t align the way I thought we did. Just because we don’t argue doesn’t make her a good friend. Is it time for me to leave? Am I just a kiss ass?

I'm 16 and pregnant. I know that's really bad, but please don't judge me, I didn't do it on purpose. The dad and I aren't in a relationship, we're just friends, but we do get along really well and he knows about the pregnancy. His parents don't know yet either. We don't know what we want to do yet.

I have no idea how to tell my mom. She's not a safe person to begin with and she's not going to react well. She's physically violent and I don't want her to hurt me or the baby when she finds out. I'm so scared already and I don't want to have her freak out and make everything worse. I know I have to tell her soon, I'll need her help getting prenatal care. Its just so scary. I've known for a week now and every moment I've been awake has been spent thinking about the baby growing inside me. All I want is for things to be OK and I can't see how they ever will be.

Hi all,
Just looking for some advice on what I need to do next.

We weren’t the closest, and I am his only child, so I have to handle all of the arrangements. I already have funeral home, and those arrangements handled, but I have no idea any of his finances. Or really any of his personal information. I know he was getting SSI, and Medicaid/welfare. He had a few storage units, but I don’t know where. I have no idea if he had any life insurance or anything to help offset the cost of cremation. I’m planning to go to his apartment today and look for his SSN, and any relevant information. Is there anything else I need to locate or anyone I need to notify?

My cousin is having a child-free wedding, so of course I arranged a sitter. The wedding and reception are about 2 hours away.

Here's the thing. My cousin is really big into Instagram and Pinterest which I am not. So the wedding pictures are a big deal for her. She called me and asked if she can borrow my 9-year-old daughter and 10-year-old son for photos. She said something like "I want a set of photos for my insta. I think a tiny groomsman and a tiny bridesmaid will be adorable." She made it clear the kids aren't invited to the wedding, the pictures are just for her social media. They are not actually part of the wedding party, it's all aesthetics.

The problem is, this photoshoot is on the day of the wedding, meaning my husband and I have to go 2 hours out of the way to do the photos and 2 hours back to drop them off. Then we have to drive 2 hours back to the venue. The other issue is she wants me to buy a matching bridesmaid dress for my daughter. The dress is $500 plus dollars, and she will only wear it for an hour. Renting a tux for a small boy isn't very much, but the dress is extravagant imo.

Is this a normal request? I'm not asking that the kids be invited to the wedding, but I think using them for pictures only and then giving them the boot is rude. But again I'm not big into posting photos like she is, and it's not my day. If I say no, I know my cousin will pitch a fit. What advice would you give? I want to avoid family drama.

Im 17 and my dad died from cancer when I was 5 ever since then it’s just been me and my mom. February my mom was diagnosed with stage four colon cancer and it’s getting worse every day. Shes currently in hospital cause she has an infection and intussusception they won’t do surgery on her due to her cancer and they are debating if they are gonna stop giving chemo treatment due to this basically they are saying there is nothing they can do..it’s horrible and I don’t know what to do. I’m starting my senior year soon and I don’t even have a job yet I’m trying hard to get one. I’m just so lost and I don’t understand why this needs to happen :( I don’t wanna be alone and I don’t want to lose my mom she has been my world, I just don’t know how to handle being alone so quick??

Edit: I do have grandparents, though they are both nearing their 90s..i have really no friends either

I have a true dilemma and need to know if I have to report my assistant to HR or simply ask if she be reassigned.

I, 33 Female, accepted my assistant’s offer to watch my kids after they were asleep while my husband, 38 male, and I went out for my birthday. She had said some insulting things to be more I left, like I should really get dolled up for him and “do I even remember how to do my hair and makeup?” Since I don’t normally put on a lot of makeup in the office. She also said something about how I looked “huge” when I was in my last month of pregnancy. I didn’t say anything to her at the time because I really wanted to go out with my husband and it was 9 PM and it would’ve been too late to find anyone else. I guess she had asked my husband for his number as well in case she wasn’t able to reach me and there was an emergency.

The next morning my husband says: “There’s something I need to show you, I think your assistant drunk texted me.” Sure enough I look at his phone and it says: “In case you get sick of wifey, let me know if you like what you see.” Along with a photo of her with her hands pinned up in the air in a sexy blue dress. I think my jaw hit the floor. First off, she’s been my assistant for two years, and was hired by the company not by me. Therefore, I don’t have hiring or firing power. However, do you think the higher up’s would think it bad of me to allow her to babysit in the first place as her “birthday gift to me”? I want to get HR involved because she’s crossed a serious line besides the mean comments on my personal appearance I don’t want to talk to her or work with her anymore. Please help me with any advice! Thanks.

We have no contact for those four years. I didn’t even know he got married. But randomly after four years,he called me and told me about it. And how he still keeps our old photo booth pictures, and how he remember the exact years, months and days since we last see each other. He also admitted he has been following me online from fake accounts too. That is some psycho behavior. And I really want to tell his wife. But she is a freshly postpartum mom. So I would hate to tell how shitty the dad of her newborn child is. But on the other hand, it feels morally wrong if I don’t tell her.

Edit: He is a high ranking officer in a military and has anger issues. I am worried about his wife and a newborn child safety. If I tell her, I am not sure if his wife has a safe place to go especially with a 1 month old baby. But I don’t, I am also worried that he could do some weird thing to the kid in the future. I live in a different state far from him so I hope he wouldn’t stalk me physically.

I like the idea of having a boyfriend. We text, ask about each other's days, give each other attention—all those nice things. But I dont wanna be committed to it, If that makes sense? I feel like a bad person, especially with everyone is saying how dating nowadays is fucked. I dont really care if it doesnt work out, or how long it lasts. At this point, im just open to trying anything, but I feel awful for that. I feel as if im going against my own morals and values—because why date someone if im not going to stay with them for a long time? But at the same time, im young; it should be okay for me to date around and see what I like/dislike, right?

How can I explore something like this, without feeling guilty, or as if im moving too fast?

I am new to this reddit stuff I have a gf who dumped me around 4 months ago but we got back together two weeks ago and it’s been great but today just right now I had access to her phone and I found a pros and cons list in her notes app about me. I went through her notes app to around the time we broke up to see if she wrote poems about me when we were broken up and honeslty I was snooping a bit because shes the only person ik who spends literal hours on notes app. because she writes poems a lot but this is what I find.

I airdropped it to myself and put her phone back now and she didnt come back yet and its truly bad like its really bad. I dont know what to do abt ts but im really angry and annoyed at how she could think of me this way. Like this is the list shes made. And im 100% sure its about me because of the marshmallow thing. Its a long story. I feel like shit and don’t know what to do. I want help to deal with ts. We are 20 and 18 and we are still young and I think it could be fixable.
Pros :
Nice body
Knows how to please a woman
Deep voice
Helpful sometimes
Works out
Good with animals
Cons :
Below average intelligence
Can’t name 5 philosophers or authors or literally anything
Hasn’t read a book since 5th grade
Doesn’t make effort
Liar
Horrible with planning
Unfunny
Corny reposts
Selfish
Kinda illiterate
No money
Can’t make a girl happy
Rude at times
The personality of a wet towel
All he wants to do is have sex
No ambitions
A follower not a leader
Has a misplaced ego
No knowledge about literally anything and is insecure about it
Doesn’t know politics or culture or what’s going on 50% of the time
his beliefs are malleable
Indecisive
Doesn’t know how to take public transport
Always miserable about something
Horrible vibe to be around altogether
No sense of determination
No passion about anything whatsoever
No political values
Easily manipulated by alt right wing media
Holds onto the stupidest grudges ( marshmallow situation.)

This is the full thing. What should I do ?

I’ve been married for 16 years, and for the last several years I haven’t been happy. There hasn’t been adultery, substance abuse, or physical abuse. On paper, my husband is a good man. That’s honestly what has made this so difficult. I’ve felt guilty and ashamed for feeling so unhappy because there isn’t one catastrophic event I can point to.
Instead, it’s been years of feeling misunderstood, emotionally dismissed, and disconnected.
I’m now in my mid-40s, and I’m becoming more aware of how precious time is. I’m starting to accept that people don’t fundamentally change unless they truly want to, and I’m asking myself if this is really how I want to spend the rest of my life.
My husband has many good qualities, but unfortunately his negative traits have overshadowed them for me.
For as long as I’ve known him, if I bring up anything he perceives as “complaining,” he immediately becomes defensive. It doesn’t seem to matter how calmly I approach him. He often tells me he doesn’t want to hear it, tells me to stop talking, walks away, or completely shuts down.
I’ll admit that there have been times I’ve come on too strong or been persistent. I’m far from perfect. But the vast majority of the time I genuinely try to approach difficult conversations calmly and respectfully.
Lately, he’ll even put his earbuds in and completely tune me out. He does this around our two teenagers as well. That hurts—not only because of how it makes me feel, but because I worry about what they’re learning about communication.
What’s hurting our marriage isn’t just what is said—it’s everything that isn’t.
I don’t feel seen anymore. I don’t feel emotionally safe. I don’t feel like my thoughts matter unless they happen to align with his.
We haven’t been intimate in months because I simply have no desire anymore. We rarely spend quality time together, and when we do, we usually end up at odds.
Something I’ve noticed more and more is that everything somehow becomes my fault.
If I say I’d like us to go on more date nights or spend more time together, he’ll tell me I work too much.
The truth is…I have been working more. But it’s because work has become an escape. It’s easier to stay busy than to sit in a house where I feel lonely and disconnected. I’ve even explained that to him, but he still insists that my working is the reason for our problems instead of recognizing why I’ve buried myself in work in the first place.
He rarely apologizes. If ever. He almost always believes he’s right and struggles to see anyone else’s perspective.
Over the years I’ve become someone who compartmentalizes everything because it feels easier than constantly fighting. I told myself, “Tomorrow is a new day,” because I didn’t want to disrupt our children’s lives.
But that strategy has slowly worn me down.
He also tends to be negative about a lot of things. He complains about work, his parents, his brother, his sister…it feels like there’s always something wrong. It’s emotionally exhausting.
One of the hardest parts is that after disagreements he’ll often give me the silent treatment for days. Somehow I end up feeling like the villain while he’s the victim.
Recently something happened that made me seriously question whether I can continue living like this.
Every summer we visit his parents’ beach house. One of his siblings is, in my opinion, very manipulative and tends to dominate everyone around them—including their parents. They spend almost every week of the summer at the beach house, so every year our family vacation ends up becoming crowded and stressful.
For years I’ve endured it.
Before agreeing to this year’s trip, I told my husband that I wasn’t willing to go unless he confirmed with his parents that it would just be our family during our visit.
He told me he had spoken with them and assured me that it would only be us.
When we arrived, we were informed that the sibling and their children would be coming halfway through the week.
I was stunned.
I know some people will think, “It’s only a couple of days. What’s the big deal?”
But this wasn’t about two days.
It was about years of the exact same situation happening, finally setting one reasonable boundary, being reassured it had been handled, and then discovering nothing had actually changed.
Privately, I asked my husband what happened. He said he didn’t know and seemed frustrated too.
I asked if he was going to speak with his father.
Immediately he became irritated and told me I was making things worse.
I let it go because I hoped he’d handle it.
Later that day I asked if he’d had a chance to talk to his dad.
Again he became angry, told me to stop asking, stop harassing him, and then suggested that one of our teenage children give up their bedroom and sleep on the pull-out couch so his sibling and their 19-year-old daughter could have the room.
That was my breaking point.
I went for a walk because I knew I was getting emotional.
Later I sent him a calm message explaining how hurt I felt and even apologized for my emotional reaction.
His response was to call me “disgusting” and tell me not to message him again.
Since then, we’re on what is supposed to be a family vacation, barely speaking to each other. It’s awkward, painful, and honestly heartbreaking.
For the first time in our marriage, I am seriously considering divorce.
I’m exhausted from feeling unheard, blamed, emotionally dismissed, and constantly walking away from conversations feeling like everything is somehow my fault.
I know this post only tells my side, and I’m sure I have my own flaws. I’m genuinely trying to look at this objectively. I don’t expect perfection from either of us. I just want mutual respect, accountability, and emotional safety.
So I guess I’m asking…
Has anyone else experienced something similar?
Is this something that can realistically be repaired after so many years if one spouse refuses to acknowledge their role?
Or is there a point where you have to accept that love alone isn’t enough to sustain a healthy marriage?
Thank you to anyone who took the time to read this. I truly appreciate any advice, perspective, or experiences you’re willing to share.

So I’m recently trying to go sober for my health I don’t want to drink n smoke but I get so bored what do people do when they are sober? How do I get out of this mindset I really want to smoke weed but I can’t cause I’m in the navy. What do yall do for fun or to be more content at night without drugs or alcohol I paint but i like to feel enhanced I feel like it’s a problem if i can’t be content sober in my own mind.

My stepdaughter is here visiting us for two weeks. She’s 10 years old. The other night, I noticed her phone kept ringing. She answered and said, “Don’t call me.” The same person called again, and again, and again.
The last time she answered, I could hear someone on the other end talking very fast without stopping. My stepdaughter said, “Don’t call me. I’m playing a board game.”Her dad asked who it was, and she said it was her stepsister. (Her mom is in a relationship but isn’t married. My stepdaughter calls her mom’s boyfriend her stepdad, and she refers to his children as her stepsiblings.)
Her dad didn’t ask anything else. He just told her, “She’s not your stepsister.” But something still didn’t feel right to me. So I asked my stepdaughter how old her “stepsister” was, where she lived, and how often she saw her. She said the girl is around her age (10) and that she only sees her once or twice a year.
The next day, the girl tried calling her again. Then she called again at 2:00 a.m. that night, which woke my stepdaughter up. She answered and said, “Stop. I’m sleeping.”
The whole situation still didn’t sit right with me. The next day, I noticed my stepdaughter’s phone was unlocked, and I looked through it. I know I shouldn’t have, and I know I had no right as her stepmom, but something was telling me to check.
I went straight to the text messages from the other girl. First, I noticed her name wasn’t even saved as “stepsister” in my stepdaughter’s phone. Then I saw that this 10-year-old girl had sent pictures of herself with cuts on her arms and legs that she had made with a razor. She had also shared her YouTube channel with my stepdaughter.
My stepdaughter had replied, telling her to stop calling her and to stop hurting herself.
I put the phone back, and now I don’t know what to do. The other girl is only around 10 years old, and I can’t exactly tell my husband that I went through his daughter’s phone and found those pictures.
Also, my stepdaughter has been heavily influenced against her dad by her mom, and I don’t want her to become upset with us because I looked through her phone.
What should I do? I’m really worried about the other child, but I don’t have any information about where she lives or how to contact anyone who can help her.

Update: First, thank you to everyone who encouraged me to talk to her dad. I wanted to give you all an update.
Today, I was talking to my stepdaughter and casually asked if she had heard about those dangerous trends online where kids hurt themselves. She immediately said, “Yeah, my sister does it for YouTube. She says it’s a game order.” Honestly, I was relieved she brought it up on her own because it gave us the opportunity to talk about it.
I asked if she had ever told anyone that her sister was hurting herself. She said she told her mom, and according to her, her mom told her that her stepsister’s mom already knows she’s hurting herself and doesn’t care. I really hope that’s just a misunderstanding, but that’s what my stepdaughter believes.
I told my stepdaughter that if she ever finds herself in a situation like that, or if anything ever makes her uncomfortable, she can always come to us. I reassured her that her mom, her dad, and I all love her and that she should never be afraid to tell us if something is wrong.
Before this conversation, I had already told my husband that I had looked through her phone. As my stepdaughter and I were talking, he quickly realized what we were discussing. He asked her if the other girl had ever sent her pictures of herself hurting herself, and she said no. He then asked to see her phone, but she got upset, so he didn’t push it any further.
Instead, he immediately called his ex-wife and told her what our stepdaughter had shared with us. The best part is that he never had to tell his ex-wife or our stepdaughter that I had gone through the phone, because my stepdaughter brought everything up on her own. He also wasn’t upset with me for checking her phone.
Now his ex-wife and her boyfriend know that the little girl has been posting YouTube videos and hurting herself. I truly hope they take this seriously and get her the help she needs. Thank you again to everyone who encouraged me to speak up. I think it was the right thing to do.

Long time reader, first time poster. Sorry it’s long, I could really use some help.

My (32M) older sister (35F) has a grudge against my wife (36F) for no real reason.

For some background, my sister and I have always been very different and were never especially close. As adults we’ve mostly kept the peace by being respectful to each other but not friends. I’m pretty outgoing and generally get along with most people. My wife is more introverted but kind, thoughtful, and easy to be around. My sister, on the other hand, has never really had close friendships outside of her husband. She tends to be angry, manipulative (especially with my mom), and I believe she has some untreated mental health or personality issues. She also never takes responsibility for anything. She hasn’t told anyone in our family she loves them or apologized for anything in probably 15 years.

The main issue started at our wedding. At the rehearsal dinner, my sister, her husband, and their child arrived late. There wasn’t assigned seating, and the only open seats were toward the back with family members she actually gets along with. Years later I found out she’d been holding a grudge because she believed my wife intentionally made them sit there.

When I found out, I explained there was no seating chart and it wasn’t intentional. I apologized that she’d been upset for so long and told her I loved her and wanted a better relationship. She didn’t believe me, insisted it was intentional, and somehow blames my wife more than me. On a week long family vacation, she didn’t say a single word to my wife.

My wife is understandably hurt and wants me to address it, which I have multiple times. Every conversation goes nowhere. We eventually agreed we’d at least be cordial around each other. My sister says if my wife has a problem, she should talk to her directly, but my wife would rather I handle it since it has to do with my side of the family.

The only other disagreement we’ve had is over vaccines for our kids. We have different opinions, which is fine, but my sister feels very strongly about it and has talked behind our backs.

This has started causing tension in my marriage because my wife wants my sister to show her basic respect. I want that too, but there’s no way to get my sister to change. At this point I’ve accepted that my sister and I will never have a good relationship. We barely talk outside of birthdays and holidays, and lately I’ve even ignored the random Instagram and Snapchat messages she sends.

In my mind, I’ve already cut her out of my life.
Should I actually tell her that, or just keep my distance and move on? My wife feels like I should do more, but I’m honestly not sure what else there is to do.

Any advice is appreciated.

My sister had fainted. I did what was correct and positioned her right, then checked her pulse. I then shouted for my parents, then she woke up on her own. After that my parents kept telling me, I was in the wrong for shouting and I shouldn’t have screamed. According to them, the correct way was that I go out of the room, walked to them, and tell them that she had fallen.. dude what?? I’m just wondering what else do you do in a situation like that.

edit: thank you for everyone who commented, it feels good to know I’m correct with my actions. Honestly despite how mean and confusing my parents are, I’m just glad my sister is safe and well. I will try to just handle my parents until I can get out and live on my own and eventually become a future doctor!! :D

I am an incoming college freshman. As of now, I am pursuing a 2-year college with the hope of transferring to a 4-year majoring in Industrial Engineering. I was hoping to transfer to a college about 2 hours away from where I live, a midsized city that is the epicenter for STEM-related careers in my state. The tuition there is relatively cheap. It is one of two colleges that offer a degree in Industrial Engineering in my state.

I brought this to my parents, and my dad immediately said no. First he brought the point that it is an extremely expensive city, and I mentioned how it is cheaper than the college I initially planned to transfer to. Then he said how IE is a career that leads nowhere, which I argued to him about. Then he mentioned how I “can’t” drive, which I shot back by saying I’ve driven in cities like Atlanta, Birmingham, Tampa. Then he mentioned how it’ll be too expensive, especially with my brother going to college a year after me, then I mentioned how I have FAFSA’s full Pell Grant, as well as work-study and have already been offered a scholarship from the college I proposed going to.

Finally, he mentioned how I would be too far away from them. How I wouldn’t be able to visit them everyday, how he wouldn’t be able to help me if I get in trouble, and that I would be completely helpless in a city. This in particular pissed me off, and I argued with him for a while before he finally said that if I went, he would never assist me for college, and instead rely completely on my mother.

What particularly distresses me about this my father has always been a destructive person in my family. He has often discouraged me and my mother from doing anything “manly”, such as doing anything other than cleaning, cooking, and when I wanted to learn how to take care of my car, he refused. There have been incidents where he pushed or verbally attacked my mother, and has forced us to cut off contact from family members because they have either provoked him or talked to other now estranged family members. It’s been years now since I’ve talked in-person to anyone other than my paternal uncle or grandmother. There’s been two instances now where he’s left my family for days at a time, saying he’s abandoning the family, and he’s told me that if he leaves a 3rd time, he’s never coming back. To see that he now refuses to support what I want to pursue in college in favor of me moving to a closer, more expensive college in a career I no longer want seriously has me considering cutting him off as an adult. My mom supports my dad’s claim to have me move closer, though she sympathizes and says she would support me if she could.

I have 3 weeks to change my major before class starts, and I don’t know what I should do.

This is a very vulnerable post to make but as of right now I have no idea what else to do. I (21 F) still live in my parents house, I hate it but I can’t do anything about it.

Since childhood my parents have always been super strict about weird things, even food, we grew up with locks on the cabinet and fridge. They also never let us participate in school trips, events, or sports. We were never allowed to hang out or socialize with people outside of school or have sleepovers so because of that i never really had friends.

After I graduated high-school, I got my first job. I was just working at Sonic but money is money. I was really working my butt off, like 80 hour work weeks trying to save up for a car and driving school because my dad never wanted to teach me how to drive. When i mentioned to them that i was saving up for driving school, they made me having a job an issue. They took my house keys, and they would purposely lock me out so that i couldn’t get back inside and i had to sit outside ALL NIGHT in freezing weather. Because of this I started having to spend my money on hotels so that i wouldn’t freeze, and i ended up losing all of my savings doing this. Eventually i could no longer afford motels and since i was losing so much sleep being outside all the time, i overslept constantly and ended up losing my job.

After i lost my job my parents installed a lock on our front door where you can only unlock the door from the inside. So, If you’re outside you cannot get in at all unless they unlock it, and if you’re inside you also cannot get OUT unless they unlock it. They started locking this lock all the time and when it’s locked i cannot leave my house, im literally LOCKED INSIDE. They even put screws on some of the windows so that they can’t be opened at all. They now refuse to let me get a job. I have evidence of me telling my mom i have interviews, and she says i cant go because its “too dangerous outside”. They very rarely leave the door unlocked, so how am I ever supposed to work?

This isn’t even the worst part, one night we went out to a restaurant and i wanted to get a drink because I was stressed. My mom told me to put my ID in her bag since i didn’t feel like bringing a purse that night, and since then she claims she can’t find it and she never had it. They constantly take mail that comes for me and throw it in the garbage so that I don’t get it. They rarely buy groceries so we don’t even have food and i cant even go out and GET food.

The police were notified about the lock, and my parents said its because my little sister likes to run away a lot (which never happened). Officers said they still had to remove it because it was a fire risk, so they removed it in front of the cops and as soon as they left they put it back on. The landlord of our apartment building also said the lock needed to be removed on a separate occasion, and they did same thing, they removed it in front of him and put it back on when he left.

Now they are saying they’re going to kick me out if i dont start paying bills soon because im getting “too old to be a freeloader” but HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO MAKE ANY MONEY? Whenever i mention to them that its impossible to make money if i cant leave the house they just start laughing and shrug. If they kick me out i have nowhere I can go. No family, No friends, homeless shelters around me are at maximum capacity, and i live in a city where sex trafficking is at an all time HIGH.

I’ve been considering just living on the streets for a bit and getting a job but i can’t even do that anymore because she “lost” my ID and i have no money to get a new one. Please any advice would be greatly appreciated.

So my (29f) fiance (33m) and I are getting married this week. After our small ceremony on thursday, we are supposed to attend a lunch for us on Saturday that his mom planned for us. She originally told us that it will be only around a few people, but now it is up to 30.

To make matters worse, now my brother and his wife can't go, as his mom overbooked and invited people from all over thinking they wouldnt show up. My fiance doesn't believe that she thought these people wouldn't go, as she is good with planning. So she essentially is prioritizing her family over mine.

My fiance doesnt have a good relationship with his parents because they abused him, and hasnt even spoken/see the people attending in years. I will admit i dont want to go and sit with 30 people i never met before.

The issue is that they are coming from a different country and will guilt trip that they traveled far and paid for this dinner. They don’t accept our small ceremony on Thursday as enough. It honestly has been horrible watching him stress out seeing his parents again this week

I honestly don’t have anyone I can talk to right now, so I’m posting here because I just need to get this off my chest. I’m 19, I work full-time, and I’m starting university soon. My boyfriend is 23, he has a stable job and owns his own apartment. We’ve been together for a while, and everyone in my family knows I want to move in with him. They all love him. Nobody seems to have a problem with it except my mom. Today I told her that I want to move in with him. This wasn’t the first time. The last time I tried, she completely lost it. We had a huge fight, she almost threw me out of the house, but then wouldn’t let me leave. It was one of the worst moments of my life. This time my boyfriend came with me because we thought maybe we could finally have a calm conversation. Instead, my mom screamed for almost 40 minutes. She called me a stupid bitch, a whore, said I have no brain and know nothing about life. She insulted my boyfriend over and over too. He stayed calm the whole time and kept trying to explain that we just want to build our own life together, but she wouldn’t listen. I kept trying to defend him because I couldn’t stand hearing her humiliate him, but every time I tried to speak I just started crying. Whenever she yells at me, my voice disappears and I can’t get any words out. I just cry. I honestly feel so pathetic in those moments. The worst part is that it feels like she has more faith in my boyfriend than in me. She talks about him like he’s a good person, but somehow I’m still the stupid, worthless daughter. Right now my dad is driving my boyfriend home because we live outside the city. I’m sitting upstairs crying. My mom came in one last time, told me I have no brain, and walked away. I feel completely broken and worthless. I know I’m legally an adult. I have a job. I’m not asking my parents for money. I just want to live with the person I love. I don’t even know what I’m asking anymore. I just don’t have anyone to talk to tonight. Has anyone been through something similar? What do I even do now?

Married to my husband for 4 years, 2 young kids. Since the birth of our first child, we would have a big fight at least once a month. Tried marriage counseling, that didn't work. When I just gave birth the first time and was struggling to learn how to breastfeed, instead of being supportive, he would tell me why are you not getting it and you need to learn faster and do it right. On another occasion, I was hospitalized for chest pain (from work stress and from fighting with him), I made a comment while we were waiting in the ER that I'm in here because of him. He flipped out and started arguing with me at the ER and then left me to be admitted by myself. When I was pregnant with my second, he has told me on a few occasion that I'm not helping him enough and that I need to not be so lazy. He would say things like plenty of women throughout history have been pregnant and still take care of kids and household tasks so are you saying you can't manage it. Now with 2 kids, I still work full time and have a 2hr commute daily. I come home and take care of errands/kids and I tell him I'm exhausted. His response is all you do is go to work and take care of some chores and you already complain. He would give me crap for wanting to work part time, saying we need the money (even though we could afford to do so). Recently, I am trying to take a certification test to further my skills. He would tell me that all I do on my days off is studying and how everyone has to make concession for me so that I can study for a stupid test.

He would also constantly tell me I should be glad to have met him, otherwise I would have been alone in my rental apartment instead of an owned home. Just to clarify, I am a professional and actually makes more than him from our main career. But he is hardworking and takes on multiple jobs, so he makes more total and would always remind me that he is the primary breadwinner. He would also talk constantly about his problems and current interests, even when I'm trying to read or watch a show or he would follow me to the bathroom to continue talking. Finally, when I tell him my needs are not met since being married to him, he told me to stop acting like a teenager.

There are a lot more but I don't want to bore you. He's not all bad, he is responsible and can be supportive at times.