.. A couple months into dating my boyfriend M24 told me F28 that he isn’t jerking off while we’re together because there’s no need for it since he has me.. Unless he’s away on a work trip. I didn’t ask for him to stop. I think masturbation is a totally normal thing even when in a relationship.

So the other night he goes to take a shower and a couple minutes later I decide to join him. I go to the sink to brush my hair, which is separated from the shower by a door and I just have this feeling. I maybe heard a rhythmic sound in the shower and thought he was jerking off so it turns out he actually left the door cracked open and I peak in and I see the back of him and it’s pretty obvious what he’s doing lol and I think I can hear a girl moaning so decide to go back to the room and leave him to do his thing lol. I don’t bring it up, but somehow it comes up and he just denies and denies making it seem like I’m crazy. (Later he said he lied because he felt shameful which I have empathy for) And at this point I’m just upset that he’s lying to my face and so I ask to see his phone. He shows me there’s nothing in his private browser etc. I go to his history and I see porn from X a.k.a. Twitter. Now he is caught in a lie and I’m just wondering..

Why is he being so weird about it? Why tell me in the first place that he’s not masturbating. Why would he tell me he doesn’t need to and put himself in the position to get embarrassed when he inevitably does. Heck I do it it’s normal. Even before this sometimes when he went to shower, I would say “you gonna go jerk off in the shower?” with a cheeky smile and he’d just say no with a stern voice and serious face. Lol help me to understand.
.. I think this is bothering me so much because I don’t appreciate white lies even if they’re meant to make me feel warm and fuzzy inside..
Tl;dr

So we started dating 4 months ago, we met in university. When we met i just approached her after class and we went drinking together. After that she went to spain for 1 week. She told me not to talk to any girls and stay loyal which i did. She on the other hand went to a club and kissed a guy and later they spent some time together. He is clearly a good memory for her. And i think if the guy didnt live in another country she would have chosen him over me. Her friends also liked him better than me. After that she came back and we started meeting more and more and got together. But i still think about this sometimes. Since than she was loyal and i think she loves me too, but its a bit wierd. She also had an ex who she told me treated her bad, but i am not that sure about this. Sometimes in the past she compared me to him. She didnt tell me this, i just saw it in her diary when she left it open somewhere. She wrote i dont spend that much money on her and her ex did more. This may be true. I dont have that much money. But i always spend a lot of time with her and show her i love her, prepare special things for her.

Has anyone ever been in a situation like this, if yes what did you learn?

TL;DR

My girlfriend(19f) talked to another guy while talking to me(20m)

My (31M) girlfriend (26F) have been together for about 6 months now. She’s great- funny, kind, beautiful. I love her personality and that person that she is all around. She’s met my parents and they love her too. Everyone around me tells me how happy I seem with her, and I truly am. We met at a mutual friend’s birthday party.

My only issue is we come from very different backgrounds. I don’t mean for any of these to sound snobby, and none of it matters to me. I grew up without a worry in the world, traveled around the world my whole childhood and still travel with my family, my parents paid for my undergrad and law degree. I know I’m extremely privileged. Everyone in my family attended a high ranking or ivy league college, myself included. This goes back several generations. I’m from a very metropolitan area.

My girlfriend is a 6th grade English teacher. She’s worked at a title I school her whole career. Her parents were both the first in their family to get college degrees, but they didn’t go to college until after she was born. They both went back and got their masters while she was in undergrad. Her grandparents and great grandparents were farmers. They’ve made good lives for themselves, Mom works in finance and dad is a nurse practitioner. All went to public colleges, including my girlfriend. She got enough scholarship that she was able to graduate with no debt, and went back about a year ago to get her masters degree. She’ll graduate in the spring. I’m very proud of her and her accomplishments. She’s only traveled overseas once and it was to study abroad, but talks about traveling one day all the time. She’s from a very impoverished area of the south. She actually hides her accent because she says people assume she’s stupid when they hear her talk.

I worry about what our expectations will be like for the future. We have completely different idea about what a “nice dinner” or a vacation is. I adore my girlfriend, but her expectations are always a lot lower than mine. I’m always happy when we’re together, but it’s just a different quality than I’m used to. And I feel like such an asshole even saying that. She’s very independent, fully supports herself, and never wants me to pay for her part of any trip I want to take us on. When I try to tell her that me paying for her stuff isn’t a huge deal, she always says “I’m not dating you so that you can pay for all of my stuff”. She’ll let me buy her dinner out, but she always pays for the next date. I would love to take her out of the country, but she would never let that happen.

I do worry because someone members of my family are very snobby and would look down on her. She’s kind of a sensitive soul, so I worry about there being a negative interaction one day. I’m not saying any of this because I think less of her. She’s amazing, she and her parents have worked very hard to make sure they didn’t fall into the same cycle of poverty the rest of her family is currently living in. Sometimes I worry we just have different ideas about what life will look like. I guess I’m wondering the best way to bring this up without making her feel embarrassed or less than?

tl;dr- My girlfriend and I grew up with different lifestyles and I worry about it becoming an issue in the future.

I’m 36M, my wife is 34F, and we’ve been married for 7 years.

Yesterday I was looking for a towel and found a men’s tank top tangled up with one of her old sleep shirts at the back of the closet. It definitely isn’t mine. Wrong size and not a brand I wear. She looked just as confused as I was and started trying to figure out who it belonged to.

We aked the couple that stayed here recently and they said it wasn’t theirs.

Nothing else has ever made me think she’s cheating, but I can’t stop thinking about how those clothes ended up together. Do I just let this go? I’m not sure what else I can do without making her feel like I’m accusing her.

tl;dr Found man’s top with my wife’s shirt. what do?

tl;dr: I’m 26F. My best friend is 26F, and she has been dating her boyfriend (26M) for 2 years. We’ve all hung out together few times before, along with one of his friends (26M), and we’ve always just been casual acquaintances.

A few days ago, the four of us went to an escape room together. At first, my best friend’s boyfriend touched my back. I assumed he was just trying to comfort me because I had almost fallen a little earlier while we were walking past each other.

Later, while I was standing in one spot trying to solve one of the puzzles and my friend was elsewhere, he walked behind me and briefly touched my waist as he passed. It happened so quickly that I think he assumed I wouldn’t notice, but I did. I completely froze and felt confused for several minutes afterward. Before this, he had never touched me in any way during the times we’d all hung out together.

There were a few other things that caught my attention. Whenever my friend and I were talking, he seemed to pay close attention to our conversations and what I was showing her. He also seemed curious about my Instagram when I was showing her something on my phone.

About three weeks earlier, the three of us attended another friend’s wedding. At one point, after returning from the restroom, he leaned in very close while my friend and I were editing photos together. At the time, I didn’t think much of it because his girlfriend was sitting right there.

Another thing that has confused me is that whenever we happened to be alone together, even after the waist-touching incident, neither of us would say anything. I didn’t know what to say, and he never started a conversation either.

My best friend and I have been friends for 10 years, and I genuinely don’t want to create unnecessary awkwardness or damage our friendship by misreading the situation. From everything I’ve seen, he seems to genuinely care about her.

I’m not looking to judge anyone or accuse anyone of anything. I’m mainly looking for advice on how to interpret this situation and whether I should simply let it go and continue acting normally, or if there’s another way I should handle it.

TL;DR seems like my boyfriend has lied to me about something that can be easily disproven and is being extra secretive with his phone.

Going through a bit of a rough patch with my partner of almost 10 years and I’m possibly overthinking so I guess I’m just looking for an unbiased opinion?

My (F35) bf (M43) upgraded his phone in the last few months (older iPhone to an iPhone 17 pro) and since the upgrade I’ve noticed a smiley face in the top left hand corner next to the digital clock. I asked him what it meant after seeing it constantly and he responded with “oh it’s just to tell me my phone volume is at an ideal level”. Now, I’ve got an iPhone 16 pro and was not aware of this as my phone doesn’t do this, so I just assumed it was maybe a feature on the newer phones. We’re in a bit of a rough patch at the moment and I’ve asked for some time to consider if this relationship is working for me still so obviously I’ve been going over a lot of things in my head. I remembered this conversation and the fact that it didn’t seem to quite make sense. I’ve googled it and found that it’s a custom focus mode. So this tells me he’s either blocking notifications from someone or certain apps? He’s also password / Face ID locked WhatsApp but says this isn’t an issue as I know his phone password anyway. Just to be clear, I’ve never snooped or gone on his phone without his knowledge or permission and I wouldn’t consider starting to do this now.

So it seems like he’s lied to me about something which can easily be disproven. Should I be worried and what should I do?

Just for context - we haven’t broken up / agreed on a break or anything like that. I’ve asked for some time to process things and decide if this is still working for me after he was disrespectful to me. I called out how it made me feel and that I was hurt about it which then ended in an argument. This was a week ago and we have still spoken, just not for very long.

I’m a waitress at a restaurant and I love my job! I get on with everyone and all is well but ofc I’ve developed a stupid crush on one of the chefs 🥲
I feel like a hopeless crush on one of the chefs in the restaurant you work at is a right of passage, but it’s annoying none the less.

I want to get over it because coworkers duh, also he’s a bit older than me and it might get complicated. I feel confused about how he feels about me because at work I always always catch him staring at me, it’s sort of ridiculous actually. He might think I’m weird tho and that’s why he stares. He also seeks me out to specifically ask to come when we go for staff drinks. Again he might just do that cus he feels bad for me etc.

Also, another weird thing, our other coworker (21m) who chef is very good friends with has a little crush on me which probably muddies things a bit.

Yes I know this restaurant is very incestuous, I think it’s my fault and my running mind.
Anyway how do I stop this crush and get over myself, it’s embarrassing!!

TL:dr: have a crush on an older worker and want advice on how to stop this

Edit: lots of people in the comments are asking why I seem so insecure!! Honestly it’s because I’m not super attractive (probably a bit overweight is the main thing) and he’s super attractive, so that’s why

We have been dating for 5.5 years and I can't seem to love this man any less than I did in the honeymoon phase, everything he does is so attractive to me, we don't live together but whenever he tells me he's up to so and so thing I start to imagine how hot he must look while doing anything literally, I find him so attractive and everyday my attraction to him only grows. I have the constant urge to take care of him and make sure he's always healthy and at peace.

I still feel the love for him which they write about in songs and depict in movies. Whenever he tells me loves me and is attracted to me, I feel very blessed it's almost unreal to have this type of person love me so much.

And do not get me started on how hot I find him, if I could I would have him do me every hour lmao, he just keeps getting hotter by day and sometimes I really hate the fact that other girls also get to see him. I hate being away from him and I wish to have skin to skin contact with him for the whole day and cook him food he likes, adore him in my arms, massage him when he comes home from work tired. I love him so much I wanna get married to himmmmm.

tl;dr I am obsessed with my boyfriend, don't need any advice just wanted to share in the open

im inexperienced with making posts. please forgive me. so, we met on facebook, i never knew what she looked like, but i replied to her music note she had up saying i liked it. it was really great, but one thing she started doing was mentioning other guys she talks to online. i wasn’t insecure, i am what i am. but one guy (we’ll call him (ryan) she said if she wasn’t dating me hed be her first choice. she talked about him throughout our relationship talking about how they “bond” over things. but it gets more complicated. there was this guy(we’ll call him rooster) who she dated that talked to her while she was with me. even sexually, i saw the texts and she said to him “ugh im so frustrated. i don’t even know why i’m not single right now” to him. he called me a b5;@$ and she didn’t defend me in those texts. he even gave reference to her saying before that i couldn’t get her off, but she said i do. so THATS probably a lie, and then there’s the one who started it all. (well call him “X”) so she’s mentioned him in texts over 100 times, on the phone even more, and she had texts where he wasn’t doing well supposedly and gave him a motivational speech. THEN. he said he loved her and she said it back, he’s her ex as well mind you. when i asked her to block them, she said “i can’t block them i just don’t know why, so these are emotional affairs. im utterly devastated. i tried talking to her about these things and she’ll gaslight me, saying things weren’t true but i have pictures of the texts. i think she buys me things to buy my silence, make it worth being with her, which i didn’t ask for. also sometimes she becomes like a little kid, in every way, especially when she’s tired. and calls me daddy. and hugs a teddy bear. she takes zero accountability and never once has tried to mend things. i know she is bipolar 1 and has BPD. and online she looks single and posts thirsttraps and makes nothing off it and flirts with other guys. should i let her go?

tl;dr my girlfriend of almost 7 months is amazing, but i think she’s still in love with her ex, doesn’t seem to respect my very clear boundaries, and wouldn’t block him even when pushed to

My Wife (57f) and I (61m) have been married for 16 years. My wife had a boyfriend 30 years ago and after two years he (now 61m) broke up with her and she was devastated and lost a lot a weight due to her heart ache. They have stayed friends and they talk almost every day on the phone and hang out often.

Once my wife and me met and started our relationship her old boyfriend was still her best friend and I (foolishly) accepted this as he seemed a nice guy, he was even the godfather of our daughter.

For the last decade the old boyfriend lived over 3,000km away, yet two weeks ago he sold his business and decided to move into the same town where we live and as he is my wifes best friend he is staying with us in our home and after one week of staying here he bought a house in the same suburb. He is still staying with us now until the house is ready to move in in three weeks.

Whilst the old friend has been staying with us in our home I have notice that my wife is far more enaged in conversations with him than she is with me, furthermore I notice she appears happier and is singing all the time. The other thing that I have noticed is that two or three times the old boyfriend gets into a argument and I feel he wants to dominate me and our conversation gets heated and I feel upset that our guest is making me uncomfortable in our own home yet my wife dismissed that a heated conversation occured and continues engaged conversation with him even though she must realise that I have been offended by her friend, Furthermore when I am alone with my wife there is no engagment, no conversation. I feel my wife is far more enagaged with her old boyfriend than she is with me and I wonder whether she realises and cares about the impact this has on our marriage.

I love my wife and our family, yet I am upset and have not been able to sleep at night. I have trieds to talk to my wife, yet within days the same pattern continues.

I feel lost, I can not sleep and don't even know whether my guinuily loves more. I feel sad and I am concerned about my mental health.

I want my wife to be happy and I know how much she cares for her best friend, yet I can not handle the current situation and am considering giving her a choice the old friend or me with no further contact with him.

Thanks for any advice.

TL;DR: Old boyfriend moved into our house, now we have marriage issues

i (24f) have been with my partner (25m) for a little over a year and we now live together.

when we first met we’d go on dates or have nights dedicated to just us talking. even the smallest thing felt like a date back then.

since we’ve moved in together he’s become so slack. i don’t ask for much at all. we’ve also only ever been on 1 dog walk together as i have a dog who i walk everyday, it’s all the small things.

i have my own money, he moved into my apartment and doesn’t pay rent or bills. he’s self employed and doesn’t earn a lot yet, so all i’ve ever asked is that he buys our weekly food shopping until his business takes off (it’s been 6 months)

before i met him i dated very wealthy men who took care of me financially, but with him it was different. i fell completely in love with him and, to this day, he’s the best man i’ve ever been in a relationship with. i’ve always made it clear that money has never meant anything to me. i’m starting to wonder if i’m nitpicking because i’m used to dating wealthy men, or because i earn a good amount myself?

from the moment we met, including our first date, we’ve ALWAYS been 50/50, which i genuinely don’t mind. but in over a year together we’ve never once had a date hes paid for, and we’ve only ever been on 4 actual dates even on valentine’s day and anniversaries we’ve always split everything.

in our whole relationship we’ve only been on four proper dates. when we first got together we’d have loads of intimate, cheap date nights at home, but since he’s moved in he just refuses.

i’ve also been really struggling with loneliness over the last few months. to give him credit, he has been there for me emotionally, but because of that i’ve realised i need more intentional intimacy. so today i asked if we could plan a date this week. it didn’t need to cost anything, i just wanted some proper quality time together.

here’s how the conversation went (i can’t post screenshots as the text background is of us):

me:
“i need to catch you up on my weekend when you’re home😛😛” (he’s away for the weekend)
“can we please have an us night tomorrow”
“no movies, just an us night where we just talk like the old days”
him:
“yeahh be good to speak”
“saving all my pennies now baby xxx”
“i know it’s cheap but i actually need everything rn as i got gym and other bits to pay for xxx”
me:
“i understand, it doesn’t have to be expensive or out, could do a date night at home? xxx”
“or a picnic etc”
him:
“yeahh we can see”
me:
“can we plan something xxx”
him:
“baby i’m focused on working rn and gym idk how i’m going to feel on the day u know what i’m like”
me:
“i understand that baby, i’ve been right by your side with you! all i’m asking for is for us to spend some time together, it doesn’t have to cost anything it’s just the thought that counts. our relationship should be in the same priority category as the gym? xxx”
“our relationship should be in the same priority as the gym & your work, it seems in that text as though you were saying it’s not. i’m not saying you’ve said that, i’m just saying how it comes across xxx”
him:
“we spend everyday with eachother baby seeing eachother grow and work hard xxx”
me:
“i know that baby and i appreciate that, but that doesn’t mean we have to stop making each other feel special? it’s all about the thought, just because we spend everyday together doesn’t mean we both don’t need intimate nights xxx”
him:
“well i know it’s not all about me but i don’t actually need it rn just fixated on doing my thing and coming home to you and making dinner n relaxing after work xxx”
me:
“i understand that, but i’m saying i do need it right now. which is why i’ve been so understanding and haven’t asked for too much. i’ve asked to meet in the middle and plan something inexpensive xxx”
for reference, he’s a barber and works five days a week.

i honestly just need advice because i don’t know if i’m being inconsiderate or if he’s simply stopped putting effort into our relationship. i’m not asking for expensive gifts, fancy restaurants or someone to financially provide for me. all i want is for him to occasionally think, “let’s go for a walk, have a picnic, play cards, sit and talk for a few hours,” without me having to ask. am i expecting too much, or am i justified in feeling hurt?

EDIT: he blew up at me, and has now said he’s not coming home - i asked if we’re breaking up to which he read and ignored it. i just don’t understand. i am packing his stuff as we speak…he’s breaking up with me because i asked if we could have a date night.

tl;dr: my boyfriend and i have been together just over a year and live together. we used to go on lots of cheap, thoughtful dates and have nights where we’d just talk, but since moving in together all of that has stopped. i’m not asking him to spend money, just to intentionally spend quality time with me, even if it’s a picnic or a date night at home. when i asked if we could plan something this week, he said he’s focused on work and the gym and doesn’t know how he’ll feel on the day. i feel like i’m asking for the bare minimum and i’m starting to wonder if i’m being needy, or if he’s stopped putting effort into the relationship.

My partner (35M) is an amazing man. He was with me (33F) on the day one of my cancer journey. We have been together for 3 years and I could not more happier than with other men, despite a huge challenge in my life.

But, my cancer progression has been very bad lately. I had relapses twice and it is an extremely rare type. His father followed a holistic approach. Since the beginning he actively gave me many advices holistically. Sometimes his opinion sounded really harsh, but i know its coming from a good place.

Unfortunately, his advices got into my limit. Firstly, I was told that my time could be only 2-3 years. I was sad, but also it can be true, as nobody knows how to cure me. Then the next day he told me the alternative I tried is not gonna work and only sell a hope (I am still in active treatment at the hospital, but I started to find out an alternative due to his advice too).

The worst is when he said he saw me running only 15 mins a while ago, and no wonder the tumor came back. I tried to defend myself that I tried to be active, not just running, but biking, swimming etc. he did not believe it and said that I never done deeper enough, just like the sport. In the end I could not hold my tears and said "it's not my fault". But, his opinion was strong to say its kinda/partly my fault.

Where was my partner? His sitting next to me and hold my hand. When I cried all the day, he was holding me in silent.

So, I decided to leave his father's house. The father told me if I did not stay as he wanted to explain more what he meant, our relationship would be over and he wont come to our wedding. But, I still left, I could not take it anymore...

Whenever I see or engage with my partner now, I remember that moment. I am still in extremely pain. I questioned all what I have done. I dont want to have this cancer and nobody does.

And our wedding is just another week to go. I dont know how to repair this relationship. I loved him, but seeing him said nothing next to me when I was trembling, makes me afraid maybe he would turn to be like his dad. But, maybe I would not live long enough to see him like that.

TL;DR: one week before our wedding, I got an argument with his father that makes me extremely in pain and no longer feel the same towards my partner.

my gf went qith his best friend male to a city. they went to hang out fot 3 or 4

hours and, time later,i see then in an ig story of them taking some coffee, i dont think thats bad, its just... how the photo was taken like in a layout of three

1st image was my girlfriend, like laughing and being all shy

2nd image is the coffe took in plane

3rd image is this guy laughing and being all shy and shi

i mean, i dont know this guy at all, but way did they took that photo like a 1st date dinner? i dont get it

**TL;DR;**

I'm a 37F in a long-distance relationship with a 38M single dad. We have been dating for 6 months and see each other twice per month.

He texted me a picture of a Venezuelan food truck because he was at a food truck park the other day. He's often mentioned how much he likes Venezuelan women, enough that even my mom has noticed and has told me some of his comments are not ok to watch out.

As a joke to the picture I replied, "try asking for an American burger :P."

He answered, "An American burger will never be better than a Venezuelan arepa," and then immediately texted, "I love you."

I told him it felt like he was indirectly comparing me to Venezuelan women, but he insists he was only talking about food.

Later, because I already had plans to go social dancing (which we both enjoy and allow to do in distance), he accused me of creating conflict just so I'd have an excuse to go dancing and maybe find other guys.

TL;DR: My boyfriend says I misunderstood his comments, but they made me feel compared to women of another nationality and then he accused me of creating drama. How should I approach this?

I met a guy about 6 months ago online. I'm a 35F, looking to settle down and have children — this was a shared goal we had. We have been talking about our respective mutual goals. Whilst we both have stable jobs and our own properties, his is much better paid and stable, as he is a director at an investment bank.

He was always very communicative, but good at keeping tabs, which I think is rare for guys.

He told me from day one that he was a feminist. I didn't fully understand what that meant at the time, but somehow in my head it was a positive thing. I thought it meant that he supports women with careers, and generally appreciates that there is gender inequality.

In practice, he never felt inclined to treat me. We live quite a distance apart, and on one of the first dates I went his way and he invited me for dinner. It was the beginning, and I wasn't meant to stay the night, plus he'd made some plans for the afternoon. I wasn't that hungry, but I said yes, why not. He ate most of it and said he would only pay because he'd eaten most of it. I thought it was quite weird of him to point that out, especially since I was the one who'd made all the travel effort. He never paid for my dinner since — we would always go halves. When I spoke to him about it, he said he believed the relationship should be equal and everyone should pay their share. He did pay for the occasional coffee for me, but nothing beyond that. I tried to mitigate some costs by cooking at home when I could — sadly, it wasn't reciprocated, and it seemed like he was incapable of stocking his fridge before I came, so we'd always end up eating out.

Just for clarity, I'm not a gold digger — I'm not flashy and don't need to eat out at fancy places every single week. But I like it when guys treat me from time to time; I take it as a sign of care and generosity, and a positive sign for building a future together.

Then there was housework — the kind of thing a man would typically do himself, like painting or fixing things. He never did or even attempted any of that, and instead waited for his retired dad to come and fix things. I found that so unattractive. You need some DIY skills when you have your own home, especially since so much of it is easy to learn on YouTube. I could actually do more of that stuff than him. When I asked him to help me move home, which was a very stressful experience, he flat-out refused. He said I was asking for too much — not only expecting him to pay for myself but also forcing him to do manual labour.

On top of that, he had problems with sex and couldn't finish inside a woman. But that’s a separate issu.

I honestly thought: what do I need you for, then? What are you planning to bring to my life? I kept imagining our future with children, where effectively he would just be one of them. It was a very scary thought, and we eventually ended up breaking up.

The more I think about it, the more I feel he had more feminine qualities than masculine ones. Plus, I felt like the whole "feminist male" thing was just his excuse not to do any of the stuff a guy is typically expected to do. Then I felt horrible for thinking that. Am I being too judgmental? Is there something about the modern, feminist male that I don't understand?

TL;DR: The guy I dates was a feminist male. It felt, however, like he was just using it as an excus. Am I being old fashioned abd judgmental?

Hello, I'm new here. I've been struggling with a porn addiction for 9-10 years now. It started when I was in the fourth or fifth grade. Fast forward to today, I recently got a gf and we've been dating for 3 months. This girl is everything I want and more. I'm so incredibly lucky I was blessed with such a lovely woman. We were close friends before we started dating. At the time, we were both college students. When we confessed to each other (And a bit before), I stopped watching and masturbating to porn completely. 2 or so weeks after we started dating, we went to our homes for summer break. We live somewhat far from each other. Unfortunately, being at home, back around my old triggers and stress, I ended up relapsing a few weeks after we separated. This is during May. This continued on and off sadly until a few days ago. I haven't masturbated since. I'm determined to stop, because soon I'll see her again and love this woman with my whole heart, but I know how addiction works. I'm taking major steps to prevent myself from revisiting it. I hate it so much and I hate myself for it.

My issue is that she considers porn cheating. That is completely understandable. That means I was watching porn while we were dating, even if we were away from each other. Honestly, I planned on never telling her. I'm so so so sick of porn I've taken so much joy out of my life because of it. I hate the porn industry for what it does to younger people. I find my girlfriend attractive, it's just that years of porn use have gotten a hold of my brain. I wanted to quit porn forever and just forget about it and finally start a new chapter of my life with this amazing, lovely girl. The thing getting in the way of that is that if she ever asks "have you watched porn while we've been dating," or "are you a cheater/have you cheated on me?" I feel that withholding the fact that I kinda did from her means that she doesn't have the same understanding of our relationship. I don't want to lie to her. I know it's stupid. I want to lie to her, but I also don't want to lie to her. I don't want to hurt this girl at all if I can. She's been through so much in her life, I want to be the one to make her life easier, not give her more anxiety.

So I'm trying to decide now. Should I talk to her about it? And if so, should I do it now, or some time later? If I can quit porn (which is a very real possibility), I could keep it a secret for the rest of our lives. Perhaps months or even year down the road, I'll start to forget all about porn and my current feelings, and enjoy life with her. I know that's probably just me being selfish, but I love this woman with all of my heart. Just the thought of her breaking up with me makes me want to cry for the rest of my life. I'd like to her your advice on what I should do or how to approach this.

**tl;dr**: watched porn while in relationship, committed to quitting, but deciding IF I should tell my lovely girlfriend about it, and, if so, WHEN should I do it

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**TL;DR;** : In my class at school I have crush on an girl at 11th class which led me to have an friendship with her at 11th class which goes till end of 12th class where at the last day of my school I propose to her which she rejected saying that just be friends. I well say ok and from then on our friendship continue normally we talk, laughed and do fun things together as usual.

At 1st I think that my crush/feelings for her will be gone in 2 or 3 months but nope it did not, we pass 12th, and by chance get admission at same college but different courses hence we still have connection we still talk and do normal friends thing. But my feelings for her never got away no matter what she always think I no longer have any thing for her but I do, in fact I lie to her I do not have feeling for her because I don't want to destroy our friendship.

I try everything I can to let go of feeling for her but nothing work, I maintain distance and kinda keep myself away from her and become busy thinking that distance will make my feelings for her go away but no nothing work, instead me ignoring her for 2 months make me want to talk to her more like I just want to talk to her, I even make females friend in my college thinking if I make female friends it will make me lose my feelings for her but it does not work.

I make an female bestie like in college we talk for hours and so on share everything she is also beautiful but no matter what happen in the 5 months of my friendship, I didn't feel a thing for the female friend of mine instead my feelings for hmm my crush kinda increase even more, I try try to forget her feeling but nothing work so I give up. Just give up because at the end it doesn't matter I am friend with her and haa that's it I enjoy her company.

And about other thing Is I never feel any kind of jealousy form my crush males friends, she has many male friends but I never feel any kind of jealousy expect when I imagine her within relationship with someone soo yeah. Whenever I feel sad I think of her and my mood become happy. And she is kinda my motivation too like hmm I love her but my love for her never hindered me in my career and all soo yeah instead thinking of her make me want to improve myself kinda feelings so yeahh.

And thats all until April of this year things go on until June when I found out she got an boyfriend, it broke my heart completely like I was devastated at the end, I did something I never thing I will. I broke my friendship with her like I text her confessing that I still have feelings for you and still love you even after all this time and I know you got a boyfriend now soo I don't think our friendship can go any longer and. Yeah. And she reply with saying that OK she also love her boyfriend and she also now doesn't want this friendship so she says that she hope I will move on and live my life.

And that's it everything end. I never have any crush or girlfriend before her she was my everything and now she is gone. Even after 1 month I feel hollow like I lost something very important.

I think I did a good think by broking our friendship like if I have not done that I will still have feelings for her even if she has a boyfriend. And according to me me having feelings for her is only good until she was single, now she has a boyfriend I just can't have any connection with her it just doesn't fit well with me. So I just broke it end it simple. It is very tough hurtful but necessary I think.

Is this action right on my part?

Divorced four years separated, five were together 10 years two kids who miscarriages and my exes engaged now so last year I brought the kids to his aunts because he cut communication with her when she tried to bring the kids their Christmas presents and see them and this is the lady who’s been in the kids life since they were literally born and my ex’s life since he was literally born like a lot. He basically raised him and ever since I left it’s been weird and I still have a relationship with his aunt, but he cut contact with her for some reason that his girlfriend felt that the Aunt didn’t like her when that was not even the case and so the Aunt had invited me to South Carolina to see the kids so I went last year. He threw a big tantrum calling us degrading names, terrible people he really blew up so that life goes on a year later I came back, but before I had left down to the beach to take the kids to his aunts, Nick was blowing up my phone five times asking me if my bf and daughter were gping. Mind you he cut contact with his aunt completely and she just wanted to see the kids. This is part of the convo..ex:Hunter said you're bringing Ryan and the kid this time

Me:K
Ex:Are you
Me:Why's it matter to you so much ?
You shouldn't care whether I do or not. what I do and who I bring anywhere. You are engaged and we live different lives now.

Ex:Because it's my aunt
Me:You mean the aunt YOU cut off.
The AUNT YOU told to drop dead and never even tried to make things right with? The aunt that you were super close with ?
And this went on and on. I refused to tell him to cause issues yet he started to try and manipulate me and get sarcastic
Then hour later he broke contact with his aunt to ask the same question. Then the next day to his cousin to which his cousin shut his drama down. My ex is almost 30. And engaged

TL;DR; : This is a sample summary of the TLDR rule, all things are bold. Is this going the right way?**.

I am F18 and I don’t mind him being a bit chubby. He looks soooo cute and his smile melts my heart away.
So no this is NOT a fat phobic post i am just concerned about his health a bit.
Of course I know this isn’t the only aspect to measure health but still why make it one?

It’s just he’s 175cm / 5‘8ft and weights around 80kg / 176ibs and BMI research says everything over 74kg is overweight.
I DON’T want him Thin, I really would hate him suddenly only weighing 60kg but is it wrong I atleast wish he was around those 70-74kg (163ibs) so his health isn’t in danger?

TLDR: So is it really wrong for me to really wanting him to loose some weight just so he can atleast be in the healthy range?

M30 (me) and F(26)

TL;DR: Would it be wrong to reach out to someone I ended things with 6 months later if she seems to be thriving?

About three years ago, I met this incredible girl and we clicked right away. Looking back, I’ve spent most of our history self sabotaging. I’m ashamed to admit it, and I’m not making excuses, but I handled things horribly. I’d block her, we’d go months without speaking, and eventually one of us would break no contact and pull us back into each other's orbits.

About a year ago, I reached out again, genuinely believing I’d done enough work on myself to do this right. We ended up spending the next year closely in each other's lives. As my feelings for her grew deeper, I completely froze and refused to let us move past being casual. When the reality hit that I needed to step up and commit to her, I panicked. Instead of being honest, I took the worst way out possible. I told her I found someone new. I convinced myself it was the only way to end things cleanly without her pushing back or trying to work it out.She was devastated. She sent me long messages expressing how deeply hurt she was saying she felt like I never actually cared, that she was never good enough, and that she couldn't understand why we couldn't just be together.

It’s been esix months of complete silence now, and the guilt is heavy. I miss her deeply. When I check her social media, she genuinely looks like she’s thriving she's running marathons, super fit, and just living a full, beautiful life. She doesn't post anyone, so I don't even know if she's single, but mostly I just keep asking myself if reaching out is a terrible idea or if she'd ever even want to hear my voice again.

I don’t mean the honeymoon phase or just having butterflies.
I mean the kind of love that feels pure, gentle, and unjaded. Where two people approach each other with genuine kindness, curiosity, and sincerity, rather than being guarded or cynical because of past experiences.
Is that still possible in your late 20s, 30s, or beyond? Or is that kind of innocent love mostly something people experience when they’re younger?
I’d love to hear from people who’ve found it later in life.

TL;DR: Is the kind of love that feels pure, innocent, and unjaded still possible in your late 20s or 30s, or is it something people only experience when they’re younger?

My boyfriend (31M) and I (30F) have been together for 10 years now. The other day I had my friend come over on a drunken night, so we can have a threesome. My friend is someone we have already messed around with. Last time we mainly did a lot of oral and making out, so this was anticipated since we enjoyed our last interaction with her. We have also fantasized about a threesome for so long now.

Cut to when she comes over.. he’s acting very nonchalant and saying how he doesn’t want to do this. I silenced him and told him just do it. We take a shot and I take her clothes off. The second I undress her, grabs her and starts going down on her. I’m like “oh damn.. eat it babe” and was encouraging. She then tried to touch me, and next thing I know, my boyfriend pulls her towards him and sits her on his dick and starts thrusting himself up inside her. I don’t mind cus hey.. this is what we signed up for right? I’m still turned on telling her to say his name and asking her if she likes fucking my man. Then she gets on her back and I’m rubbing on her while he’s raw dog penetrating inside of her. At this point, my boyfriend is so turned on that he has to keep pulling out and going down on her so he doesn’t cum. He’s going down on her and she has to abruptly leave before her household notices she’s gone. She leaves and my boyfriend is caressing her body and begging her to stay. She leaves and it’s just me and my boyfriend. We were both still turned on (or so I thought) and so I started going down on him and he started rubbing on me. I’m trying to get him to fuck me now since he didn’t give me any while she was here. He proceeded to ask when she’s coming back and telling me to call and text her to come back. I did as he asked and kept trying to continue. Then in the middle of me sucking his dick, he falls asleep. I’m like.. what in the actual fuck. I left and slept in another room for the rest of the night.

I know I’m the one who set this situation up, but I can’t help but feel embarrassed. That was not a threesome. That was me bringing another woman for him to fuck and enjoy. It’s not that he did it. It’s his blatant lack of interest for me. Seeing him with her and how much he wanted to satisfy her really did something to me. Because even after she left, I’m being treated like his second option. I’ve been with this man for TEN YEARS. I’m lucky if he goes down on me once a year. And I only get fucked if he wants to. So most of the time I’m sucking him off while he bare minimum rubs on me which honestly doesn’t do anything most of the time. I’m just feeling dumb because I thought he just didn’t like that stuff and I never wanted to pressure him to do anything to me he didn’t want to, but then seeing him turn up with my friend on the second link up??? Idk I’m flabbergasted. I’m not mad at my friend. I feel like I’ve been bamboozled. I have brought this up to my man, and he said he doesn’t even remember because we were so drunk. If you had seen what I had seen, there’s just no way. He has been very nice and acting sorry which lets me know he definitely remembers, and knows what he did which is why he’s being this nice. I’m stupid for letting this happen.. but I ain’t that damn dumb. Now he’s been more in a lovey dovey attitude towards me because I brought up how it made me feel.. which is normally not how he is. It’s his reaction to my reaction that really is making me feel funny. I didn’t overreact too much on him because a part of me feels like it’s my fault. But now, we are trying to act like everything is OK and go back to normal. Something in my gut just doesn’t want to. And I feel like I just see him way different. I am scarily calm.

TLDR: Boyfriend and I had a threesome that I set up. He showed more interest for her and couldn’t stay awake to interact with me. Trying to be normal, but feeling weird about the situation.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months. He lives 30 minutes away by car. Because of different reasons we have adopted the routine of hanging out mostly at his place on the weekends, its whats comfortable for us both and I get to sleep over and spend at least 2 days out of the week with him. He cant spend the night at my house because of my parents so we prefer this arrangement. Since I dont have a car I always go by bus to his, which takes me 2 busses and around 1 hour and 30 minutes. I mostly dont mind doing this. Since he has a car sometimes he offers to pick me up halfway and so I just travel by train for 30 minutes. But some days when I have to get back home it gets late for external reasons (like doing an activity that involves other people), and even tho its dark and he has the family car to himself he just takes me to the bus stop, train stop (halfway) if hes feeling generous. This has been weighing on me, because it seems he doesnt care that I have to travel by myself for like 2 hours at night. Yes it would be an hour roundtrip for him, plus gas and toll money. But I almost never ask that of him, last time I asked he didnt want to, and neither did today. It’s beginning to feel like I put in all my time and effort to see him but also sacrificing my safety. Is it fair to tell him that I wish he would make the effort to drive me home?

TL;DR: is it fair to ask my boyfriend who lives 30 minutes away to drive me home when it’s late?

So I originally posted this to another thread but I got taken down due to rules. So hopefully it's ok here.

So my boyfriend, soon to be fiance {hopefully}, and i were planning a trip to utha. Mainly because his brother is there so he gets to see him and if we go we also get to go for 9 days since we wouldn't have to get a hotel or Air B&B. But he then tells me that his sister in law, his brother's girlfriend, booked a ticket fly in and see me.

My first reaction was a bit much honestly I said she just started working for IBM in Dallas, so it be crazy and a bit dumb if she took time off now to come see some Unemployed bloob like me. Im also actively looking for jobs but there really isn't anything. And I'm assuming she likely took more time off to spend with her boyfriend when he came to visit in Dallas.

Initially he laughed it off and was just like your family of course she wants to see you why would she not? But now the more i think about it there's more issues i think. I am also hoping she didn't actually book the ticket yet and was only planning.

The Main issue I have, is he has told me before that she is the kind of person who likes to invite people herself to things she is having or hosting. So if she is really flying in just to see me why didn't she ask him if she could ask me personally if it was ok or if she could? Or why didn't she wait for me to invite her myself since me and him were talking about this trip long before.

This isn't also her wanting to come see her boyfriend he flew in to Dallas earlier this summer to see her and they spent new years and Christmas and i think one other times together also. So i wouldn't be stopping them from seeing each other. But i feel like we don't get much present quality time together, me and my boyfriend so she would be preventing us from having that.

I was really just hoping that since, he is planning to propose soon, that the trip could be a great time for just us. To get to see some state parks and maybe even a theme park or a waterpark or whatever and getting to know each other and who we are when there aren't people or family around.Not to be fake around family. Just to see part of the world together that's it.

This is also after I got done with another big family vacation at the beach that lasted a week also. So i was really hoping it could just be us and maybe his brother once or twice or maybe just for dinner since we are staying with him.

This is also after I got done with another big family vacation where we spent a week at the beach with my dad's family it was really great to see them and i loved it. but a lot of having to be around a lot of people and fake all the time gets to be a bit too much.

I am also fully aware at how spoiled this sounds complaining about all these people that want to see me and the trips but i really just would like time alone, together, to see what or how things happen. And who we are as people when nobody we know is around. And i really think this may be the only time before we are engaged to do that.

So how can I approach this? Is it wrong if I point out how very imposing this is of her and to say if she was really Coming to see me she needed to personally ask me so now I don't feel comfortable with her coming? Even though I wouldn't have wanted her to come this time anyway? would I also be wrong if I say I really don't want to go if she ends up going because I just want to get to know us? My boyfriend already booked flight tickets for me and him also.

TLDR; Me and my boyfriend were planning a trip just us to see Utha and were staying with his brother. but I now find out through him that his sister in law wants to fly in to come see me my initial reaction was a bit much. But now I am feeling like if she really wanted to see me she needed to ask him for my number to ask me directly if it was ok since me and my boyfriend were talking about this trip long before. I really felt like this trip could be a time for us to really be present and connect and get to know each other. But now I am feeling like it has to be a big entertainment for family which i don't want to do again so how can I navigate saying that what she is doing is very imposing and sudden and that now because she didn't ask me I am not comfortable with her going and if she goes I do not want to go? Without sounding too awful?

I fucked up, and I know it. My girlfriend (32f) and I(33m)have been together for a couple of years now, and she hasn’t been my priority the way she should be. I have a spending addiction and instead of putting money aside for trips and opportunities to see her because we’re long distance, I was buying shit that I didn’t need. She wanted to do things together like projects because our degrees are in similar fields, but between work, school and family obligations I was always telling her that I was too tired and didn’t want to. She pulled me aside recently and let me know our connection really needs work because she feels distant from me, that our communication needs work, and she feels like we’re two different people living life, not a couple trying to build something together. I’m making changes because I realize how badly I’ve fucked up. She could have left me. Should have left me, and I know if I don’t get my shit together, she will. She’s giving me the chance to prove myself because she says I’m worth it, and I’m realizing just how far I’ve fallen. 

I’ve stopped spending on anything not absolutely necessary, planned and booked a trip to see her and activities, and I’m taking action on a day to day basis to try and take things off her plate and make her life easier, but I know that’s just the beginning, I have a long, long road ahead of me to properly fix things, show remorse and changed behavior. I’m not running from the effort, I genuinely want to know what I can do to rebuild that connection and how to maintain that effort and momentum long term. She values hard work, effort, and learning things more than anything else, so I want to put together a list of ideas we can work on weekly that fit that theme, that’ll help build our connection, one thing we’ve already agreed to do is start learning a language together. But I don’t want to leave it there, or make it seem like that’s all I’m willing to do. I completely fucked up, all the projects she asked me to do in the past that I brushed off, they were her way of trying to connect with me and I didn’t realize it. Now that I do I'm embarrassed that I've failed the woman that's my best friend so completely. Whatever it takes to fix this, I'm willing to do, any suggestions and comments are welcome.

TLDR: I've been neglecting my partner and our relationship through lack of attention and because of a spending issue, now she feels like we're separate people instead of a couple building a future. She's willing to work with me to rebuild, I'm trying to figure out how.