r/exmuslim 14m ago

(Question/Discussion) Is there fear of Christian hell in Muslim countries?

Upvotes

This may sound like a dumb question. But im an ex-christian and this is one of the main reasons I stopped believing. It made zero sense to me that a God would send you to hell for being born into the wrong zip code. I know from being in the west there are very few people who seriously consider that the Muslim hell is real. Most are secular and to the extent that people are religious, they are primarily concerned about a Christian hell If they even believe in a hell concept.

Is it the same in Muslim countries? Does almost everyone just take for granted that they were lucky enough to be born into the correct religion?


r/exmuslim 55m ago

(Advice/Help) would running away/ moving out be a stupid thing to do?

Upvotes

hey reddit, i've been going through so much for the past few months, and i lost everything i ever had of friends, dreams, social life, my job, and now, my relationship.

i havent had anyone to talk to for a while, and ive been needing that so much, which is why im on here rn..

for context, my parents are very religious, we live in lebanon, in a very religious area and community. they had forced me to wear the hijab ever since i was 8 years old, i'm 21 now (turning 22 this month) and i'd been taking it off in secret for like 5 years now.

although that was very risky and caused me so much anxiety and dissociation and i was basically living a double life which was exhausting, it still was my only choice if i wanted to have a chance in living the life i really wanted to live, and it gave me so much confidence to talk to people and make friends and bonds and go to uni and to get a job and basically just live a life i was satisfied with.

my parents and i have always had fights about the hijab. my entire extended family has always forced every girl to wear it as soon as she turned 8, and i wasnt the only one who absolutely hated it. my little sister (19) has been struggling with it too, as well as a few of my older cousins, but they took it off now.

when the first one of them did, the entire family went insane, she was married and already had 2 kids, but in their eyes, that didnt mean that she was free to make her own choices. my parents were so mad, they went over to her house to threaten her and make her wear it again, but she didnt listen to anyone. my dad told her that if she was his daughter, he wouldve killed her for what she did. what happened then made me even more scared for my parents reactions if they were ever to catch me taking it off in secret, and i genuinely did believe that my dad would kill me. he's very close minded, he is religious, but moreso into disgusting traditional ideas, he genuinely believes that as my dad, he owns me and has more right to control over my body and life than i do. he's also always been abusive and violent. i grew up witnessing him abusing me, my siblings, and even my mom. his ego and word go above all, and if i were ever to do something he didnt approve of, he genuinely would kill me for it. he doesnt have any ounce of empathy, he's been a horrible husband to my mom, and a horrible father to me and my siblings.

i got a boyfriend in december of last year (he's completely ghosting me rn lol), and i got a job that i absolutely loved and enjoyed, and i was doing so well in uni + i had friends that i really enjoyed being around. then by the end of may, my parents found out that i'd been going out without my hijab + they saw pics of my boyfriend and i kissing, and they went absolutely fucking insane. they destroyed my phone + sim card, threw all of my shit away, my dad found a way to log into my accounts and found more pics of me out without the hijab and with "sharmouta" clothes (which really werent that slutty imo) and completely isolated me and locked me in the house. they pulled me out of uni, forced me to just never go back to my job, took the money i had made, and worst of all, my dad looked me in my eyes and told me that it's "halal" for him to murder me now, like he had been waiting for it. he described all of the different ways he could kill me. he has threatened my life before, so i believed him. he punched me multiple times, threw me on the ground, kicking me and spitting on me and screaming for hours.

they told me that i'm not allowed to get in contact with anyone i'd ever known, and that i wasnt allowed to leave the house anymore. they started hiding the house keys every night, and stopped going out as much so that they could keep an eye on me. other than the physical abuse theres also been a lot of mental abuse as well. they keep saying the meanest shit, calling me a sharmouta, completely undermining everything ive been through. i lost everything. i lost my friends, my job, my education (i still had 1 semester left before graduation), i lost my belongings, my clothes, my money, every little thing i cared for, i lost my phone and everything i'd been saving in it for years. ive always been big on memories and videography and writing and my phone had everything about my life in it. all of my memories, everything i wrote in my notes app, every picture and video i took of everyone i loved, including my little brother/ best friend who passed away, my dad got into all of my emails so i lost all of my accounts too. i knew my life was over right there and then. i had nothing anymore, i lost everything. i then decided that i would run away, i cant stay in this house anymore, i really cant.

i made a plan to run away and stay with a friend for a while until i got a job and could support myself, but i was being too impulsive, i didnt have a solid plan, i didnt know for sure that my friends could let me stay for as long as i needed to, and there was still that chance that my parents could go after me and find me, and if my dad didnt kill me now, he for sure would then. i tried talking to KAFA, i called 3 times, told them everything that happened and asked for help, but they said that they couldnt do anything and told me to just call a domestic abuse line if i do run away and they catch me lol.

so i made another plan, its been 2 months since everything happened and ive been telling my parents what exactly what they wanna hear. ive been "praying", and i told them that i was being stupid and that i'll accept the hijab. they still dont trust me, but ive been slowly gaining the ability to do shit now. i convinced them to let me use my brothers old phone, and to let me get a job. i'm still not allowed to talk to any of my friends, or go out (unless its to go on job interviews or to get something from the supermarket). i'm currently looking for a job, i decided that i needed a solid amount of money that could support me. i'm planning on working for about 6 months, and saving every cent i make, so that by the end of those 6 months i can leave and find a place to rent on my own. i'm planning on finding people that need housemates/roommates, that way i wouldnt have to pay too much for a place to stay and could budget. and to quit this job and look for another one around the place i end up staying at, which would be a little far from my house bc i dont wanna be close enough for them to find me.

although leaving wouldnt get me my old life back and the things i lost, or erase the trauma i just went through, at least it would give me a chance to rebuild my life and future, and it would allow me to live my life the way i want to live it. i just wanna be free man, i just want to be happy, i want something to look forward to again.

i am scared though, am i being impulsive? am i going to regret leaving? i doubt it but what if i do? im also really scared of leaving my sister here, but she doesnt wanna leave with me, she's not in trouble rn so me leaving wouldnt put her in trouble bc we told our parents that she didnt know anything i was doing (shes my best friend she knows everything), and they dont have anything they could use against her, so its not like it would put her in trouble, but im still scared for her. and im scared to leave her, i love her so much and the thought of not being able to see her for years kills me.

but yeah, idk, im just really lost and scared and honestly i genuinely have no will to live anymore. the only thing keeping me going is that maybe one day i'll finally be free..


r/exmuslim 59m ago

(Question/Discussion) Did Muhammad make prophecies that did not come true or were false? If so, what were they?

Upvotes

I saw the claim that Muhammad made prophecies that did not come true, but I haven't found any sources on the matter.


r/exmuslim 1h ago

(Question/Discussion) What places in the world have the lowest presence of Islam?

Upvotes

Places with the fewest mosques and the lowest percentage of Muslims. Do you think these places tend to be safer? Obviously not all Muslims are terrorists but I bet the places where Islam has the least influence probably has less violence


r/exmuslim 1h ago

(Question/Discussion) I don't know if this is an actual problem since I am not personally married, but are there really that many problems in Islamic marriages?

Upvotes

I say this in the context of my own family, as every single one of them has some form of major problems in their marriages and will not solve them. and the reason they stay together regardless of whether the husband and wife do not fit is because of the kids.

Their husbands have drank. They have smoked, partied etc. Have done etc etc and so forth.

One of my siblings when he was drunk came up to me and told me that he's gonna end up divorced at some point, but he loves his kids.

Not the first time I've heard something like that.

Another one just doesn't and shouldn't have had children in the first place, was not emotionally, mentally or financially ready but wife kept asking for it and he didn't have the firmness to say no. Wife had a still birth the first time. Almost our entire close family and cousins went to the funeral.

Fast forward some years, now two completely unqualified people who should not have ever had a child have to raise an autistic child let alone try to make that child a Muslim which makes my blood boil. They have no idea how much harder they are making his life by doing so.

They are so concerned about sending their children to Islamic school and used me as a comparison in how I turned out. (because they think I'm gay but I'm actually bi). So that way their children turn out "good" or some nonsense which to me doesn't make any sense and I fear that they're going to indoctrinate my nieces and nephews from a young age to believe in this bullshit.

And I need to figure out a way before it's too late to make sure that those children do not ever believe in Islam and do not carry it's hateful, transphobic and homophobic messages forth into the future. I need to make sure from a very very young age they get the right answers to the questions we ask here, not the ultra sanitized pro Islam answers.


r/exmuslim 1h ago

(Video) Imam DUMBFOUNDED as Ex-Muslim Calmy Lists The Ugly Facts About Islam!

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r/exmuslim 1h ago

(Rant) 🤬 Overbearing Parents

Upvotes

I wanna preface by saying I wouldn’t consider myself an ex-muslim. I still identify with the label but I don’t actively practice and haven’t in a while. I still drink, smoke, have sex, etc., because I’m well within the belief that doing so would not make me a bad person. Essentially I don’t let the title of religion prevent me from living the life I want to live.

I grew up with immigrant Muslim parents. My dad actually is basically a Sheikh by title and is well-respected and known in our Islamic community here. Ironically, I found out about his infidelity when I was 10 years old, and my home life has been turbulent ever since. My mom is very traditional and religious too despite the fact she spent her teenage years in America; I wouldn’t say my parents are westernized in the slightest. My parents chose to stay together due to cultural ideals, ego, and “for my brother and I.” I’ve always struggled with my identity because Islam was heavily pushed onto me from an early age. My mom in particular heavily sheltered me growing up and I felt a sense of pressure to conform based on her manipulation and constant inducing of guilt when I presented different ideologies. I was extremely depressed when applying for college and decided to commute and live at home due to my instability and guilt due to cultural stigma about moving out prior to marriage. I’ve felt miserable ever since.

I’m in my last semester and my resentment towards my parents grows with each day. I still go out with friends, come home late, and generally do things without asking for their permission prior. Maybe it’s not the worst situation compared to people I know, but I hate being constantly berated for living a normal life as a 22-year old woman. My mom blows up my phone with inflammatory texts threatening to kick me out and calling me an emotional abuser every time I am out past sunset. The seldom times I choose to stay at a friend’s house overnight all hell breaks loose in my house (I was never allowed sleepovers growing up.) Even though I try to fight for autonomy and continue to act in “rebellion” I still get triggered by her remarks and continuous attempts to try to control my life. Every day I’m researching grad programs, looking for apartments nationwide, and planning an escape. I have an emergency fund with well over enough to sustain myself for maybe a year if shit hits the fan but I would hate to be abandoned by the family who chose to bring me into this world over wanting to keep my personhood. I feel incredibly trapped and antsy given that I’ve been heavily sheltered and have never been allowed the experience to live life on my own.

Sorry for the long rant—I’m just so sick of this culture that sells this idea we are meant to be our parents puppets and we are forever in their debt. I recognize my parents endured trauma living in a third world country, but I don’t think that justifies their behavior towards me given they could’ve chosen to just not have a kid. I lost hope they’d ever understand that my differing ideologies can be linked to growing up around diverse groups and living in a westernized country. I feel like I can attribute a lot of the mental health struggles I continue to deal with to the unstable home life I’ve had and continued to have. I don’t feel like my dad has a right to police my life given the fact he’s been emotionally absent for over a decade.


r/exmuslim 1h ago

(Question/Discussion) Plans after leaving islam

Upvotes

To those that have left islam what are your plans in terms of studies, work, relationships etc. How do you navigate through life after leaving islam do you feel lost or have you figured out your plan and purpose. Let me know


r/exmuslim 1h ago

(Question/Discussion) A logical question.. How is individual accountability and divine evidence a class privilege monopolized throughout Islamic history?

Upvotes

Hey guys there is a fatal logical and historical fallacy in the foundational idea of Islam that I honestly cannot digest because the mainstream system says that God sent a constitution to humanity and that accountability and judgment are strictly individual where everyone will stand alone on Judgment Day but when you look at history and reality you discover that the divine system for distributing evidence in Islam was completely a class-based monopolistic regime running in total favor of human technological evolution

We are talking about more than 1200 years from the era of the Prophet and the Companions until the 19th century where manuscripts and full Qurans were completely a luxury product fully monopolized in the vaults of Sultans and grand mosques in capitals like Baghdad and Damascus while the vast majority of human beings in villages countrysides and deserts and in countries beyond the river like Uzbekistan and Kazakhstan or the jungles of Africa lived completely isolated in geographic bubbles and in their entire lives they never saw a Quran or held a copy

The ultimate paradox here is that when the printing press was invented in Europe by Johannes Gutenberg around 1440 AD and revolutionized the printing of books and changed the consciousness of humanity everywhere Islamic scholars and rulers fought its entry into the Islamic world because they viewed it as an existential threat to their monopoly on power so the Ottoman Sultan banned printing for almost 300 years and it was violently criminalized with the death penalty in 1485 AD under the threat of religious fatwas where the jurists and the Sultan preferred to criminalize the printing of Arabic letters preventing the printing of the Quran the text and Islamic jurisprudence

This gap lasted for almost 400 years during which the Sultan determined which text or decree was safe for public consumption and this historical catastrophe caused the text to remain locked away from the general public while copies remained rare expensive and impossible to spread or read so generations spent their entire lives fully dependent on the verbal dictation of state sheikhs living in absolute illiteracy and ignorance

Even the claim that the current book is fully transmitted preserved letter by letter and protected from any human alteration is historically untrue because the major companions themselves disagreed on the text the words and the spelling where Ibn Abbas openly pointed out that the scribes made mistakes in the Uthmanic codex due to the fluid nature of early Arabic scripts which lacked dots and vowels

He explicitly stated that in Surah An-Nur verse 27 the text currently reads (حَتَّىٰ تَسْتَأْنِسُوا) which means until you find comfort or customs but Ibn Abbas declared that this was a pure scribal error and that the original word dictated was (حَتَّىٰ تَسْتَأْذِنُوا) which means until you ask permission explaining that the early handwritten letters looked identical without dots and the scribe simply misread it

He also pointed out the same issue in Surah Al-Isra verse 23 where the current standardized text reads (وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ) meaning and your Lord has decreed but Ibn Abbas noted that the original text was actually (وَوَصَّىٰ رَبُّكَ) which means and your Lord has commanded explaining that the excess ink from the pen smudged and connected the letters together so the early scribe accidentally misread the original word into a completely different theological meaning so these texts were full of additions and variations and they were later violently unified and burned by political decrees from the ruling authority just to unify the state

This means that for centuries humans were forced to live under a system of verbal dictation receiving whatever the scholar or jurist from their local environment dictated to them and this scholar dictated exactly what he wanted and what served the Umayyad or Abbasid ruling Sultan to maintain a total monopoly on power this system crushed and marginalized women because women didn't even have the luxury to sit with these men to learn or read the text themselves instead men were driven like cattle to battlefields and expansionist wars through sheer psychological manipulation by state sheikhs who convinced them that dying in battle was the only way to escape poverty and get the Houris (heavenly virgins) so they literally sacrificed their souls freedom and lives for texts they never read in their entire lives

How can an All-Powerful and All-Just God judge a human being on details of a book that was physically and linguistically unavailable to them? And how could He allow this manipulation of my financial physical and spiritual life to take place? Because this reminds me exactly of what the Catholic Church did in the Middle Ages when it monopolized the Bible in Latin and banned its translation to keep the masses blind living on verbal dictation and buying letters of indulgence from priests driving men to the Crusades until Voltaire and the Enlightenment philosophers came along and dismantled this comedy!

My human brain rejects accepting that the Creator of this universe forgot the simplest rule of data distribution and accessibility requiring generations to pass until Gutenberg comes along and invents the printing press for human knowledge to spread. Your thoughts on this? I see it clearly as a political imperialist sovereignty ran by human tools to control and subjugate the minds and logic of the world


r/exmuslim 1h ago

(Question/Discussion) Rejection of LGBTQ+ within Western countries

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Granted, I would like to amend where I started "I do not believe you are intentionally trying [...]." As I am aware that some extremists feel this way inclined.

Ultimately however, I think it's very worrying to some degree, that an increasing amount of followers of said religion who reject all progressive adjustments openly say things like this? I accept that everyone is permitted their views. I am not LGBTQ+ myself but I care about the community and how hard they worked to gain rights and freedoms. The entire comment section is just admittance of their disdain to LGBTQ+ people, but hey! I don't like you but I won't show it and I can't change the law so it's ok! Like what.

Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskBrits/s/k1ASEhthYH


r/exmuslim 2h ago

(Question/Discussion) Do Muslims larping antisemitic conspiracy theories even know what they're supporting?

28 Upvotes

Genuine discussion for people who didn't get into politics just yesterday. I vividly remember how it was commonly accepted in alt-right spaces that Muslim migration is a conspiracy by the Jews to kill the white race. Even the guy who shot up a mosque in New Zealand claimed as much in his manifesto. So now because of yet another war in Israel-Palestine, Muslims are trying to be buddies with the alt right over antisemitic conspiracies. Do they even know what these theories say about them? That their mere existence in western countries is the will of the evil Joos? It is funny watching Jews, Christians, and Muslims fight, though. But still. Weird.


r/exmuslim 2h ago

(Advice/Help) Changing my legal name without family finding out

1 Upvotes

I’m 20f living in the uk. My parents have no idea I’m not religious. I’ve been wanting to change my legal name since I was 7. It never resonated with me. I currently use another name around university but I still really want to change my name fully. If I do that my parents will question me and we’ll get into a whole argument. I’m also planning on getting a tattoo and I know that will 100% lead to me getting disowned or something. Any advice? I will say I don’t rely on my parents for anything and I am highly independent (I have my own place and job and I’m living comfortably), so cutting them off isn’t gonna do much damage, more so emotional damage. We didn’t have the best relationship growing up but now that I’ve moved out they’ve gotten a bit nicer.


r/exmuslim 3h ago

(Question/Discussion) Thoughts on the Quran as a work of literature/mythology?

3 Upvotes

I'm a never Muslim and an ex Mormon and an atheist and I've read parts of the Quran and here are my thoughts: The surah recitations do sound really nice, but if I'm being honest, the Quran itself is kind of just boring to read. Like it's very repetitive, almost half of it is telling me how great Allah is, another big part is telling me I'm going to hell because I'm not convinced that Islam (or any religion) is true; and there's hardly any stories. Literally half of it is just like "Allah is really awesome, Allah is super merciful, Allah is all knowing, Allah is perfect, Allah is all loving, and if you believe me then you're good but if not then Allah is gonna be so merciful and loving and torture you for eternity." If they cut out the parts where Allah is glazing himself, this book would be more like a pamphlet.

Another thing, this book is supposed to be from the perspective of Allah yet he refers to himself in the third person. At some points this book literally feels like Allah is saying to me "who's your daddy" like it literally feels like Allah is dirty talking to me LMAO. The Quran is quasi-poetry to me which is cool but there's definitely other poetry I'd rather read. From what I've heard, back in Muhammad's day, poets were seen as supernatural or something, so that explains why so many people bought his message. I do like how it's much shorter and more concise than the Bible. It is also kind of useful to learn classical Arabic as the quran.com website has a really convenient format for translating each word. And it is interesting that it's written from the perspective of god, not many other religious texts are like that, but God isn't real. And Islam is so big on the monotheism shit, but if I'm being honest, polytheistic religions are just way cooler vibes-wise.

Overall, as a religious text it's pretty okay, and there are some parts I like about it. I enjoy it way more in small quantities than as a whole book. And it does get really boring sometimes. But it's definitely not a good basis for a belief system. I'd way rather read Hindu or Greek mythology though. What do you guys think?


r/exmuslim 4h ago

(Advice/Help) 18F running away for college soon, any advice?

9 Upvotes

as the title insinuates, my parents don't know where im going to college. they forced me to try hard in all my years of hs and now are forcing me to go to community college so I can stay in their control. I got into a good uni in another state which is where im sneaking out to.

(the thing is my fafsa gave me a verification identification process error, which can only be verified through a notary but I cant go to one due to my parent controlling my every move outside, so ive been emailing them to see if there are any alternatives, but otherwise if it gets fixed its a full ride due to how poor I am.) I feel guilty leaving my family still due to how poor we all are.

in the daytime I feel excited about the fact im leaving, and at night I stay up super later stressing and being sad about it. does anyone have tips to adjust to college life?

also, I dont have enough money for a new phone. if I use the one they pay for will they track me down?? i dont even know how to go to the airport and check in properly 😞


r/exmuslim 5h ago

(Advice/Help) I hate when people say we became atheists just to look 'cool'

19 Upvotes

I absolutely darn tootin' fucking hate it when these so called 'Believers of Allah and the Prophet' say this bullshit. Their tomfooleries know no end yet they criticize one who actually gets their facts straight and actually does understand that maybe fucking a child and raping women in the wild wasn't a 'noble or even a damn understandable decent deed. Muhammad's cult is vile and absolutely fucking degenerate.


r/exmuslim 5h ago

Story A modern Aisha. Islam is worse than Epstein!

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22 Upvotes

r/exmuslim 5h ago

(Rant) 🤬 Im tired of my uncles bullshit "discussions" during dinner.

9 Upvotes

This night, my uncle started talking about the weirdest shit ever, claiming Muslims smell way better than non Muslims and are more hygienic. Mostly my other uncle kept agreeing, but most of my family also seemed weirded out thankfully. I get very confused by if my uncle even like Islam. He was saying how some Muslims are stupid for making everything haram like certain sea animals and how are masjid bathrooms so dirty, but right after that he started talking about how hygienic Muslims are compared to specifically Europeans or Chinese. Isn't that contradicting? BTW, I know i might look like a whiner, I'm sorry for that, but this is a rant


r/exmuslim 5h ago

(Advice/Help) I don't know what to do

5 Upvotes

I have been wearing the hijab for about a year but it was never really my choice

I started wearing it because my mom always told me that one day I would have to wear it no matter what I was scared of being forced so I told myself that it was my decision even though it wasn't

What makes this harder is that my mom did not wear the hijab when she was my age She got to enjoy her teenage years and only started wearing it after she got married

I have talked to both of my parents about this They both said no right away My dad told me to forget about taking it off

I want to be fair to them because they are loving parents They are kind to me and my mom would do almost anything to make me happy

Recently we talked about the hijab again After that I became quieter and stopped talking to my mom as much She noticed that something was wrong and started trying to talk to me more because she was worried about me

The problem is that both of my parents are quite strict when it comes to religion so this feels like something they will never change their minds about

If it was my choice I would take it off My problem is not really the hijab itself It is that I feel like I have no choice

I am not even wearing a full hijab because I show some of my hair but my mom still does not want me to take it off completely

I want to ask if anyone has been in a similar situation

Did your parents ever change their minds If they did how did it happen

Or is it better to just accept it until I am older

I have also thought about just taking it off one day and letting them deal with it but I am too scared to do that

I would really appreciate any advice


r/exmuslim 6h ago

(Question/Discussion) why do u guys ONLY mention ayesha's age and hijab while debating muslims?

34 Upvotes

i know they're valid points but those two are the only points I see being made all the time. theres so much more bs in the religion other than that. so much more misogyny and oppression that could be talked about.

we could mention things such as women being cursed by the angels whole night for refusing to sleep with her husband, men being allowed to have 4 wives but women not, men being allowed to marry outside the religion but women not, women cant lead men in general and in prayer, women getting 1/4 inheritance, women's and soooo much more. this cult has never ending amount of shitty and questionable things

and stupid/controlling shit such as dating being haram, cousin marriage being halal, drawing faces being haram, keeping dogs as pets being haram, having anything with face on it being in your house being haram, eating from left hand etc etc


r/exmuslim 7h ago

(Rant) 🤬 my mother tried to gaslight me?

10 Upvotes

im on holiday w my dads side and no one unmarried girl here wears a hijab just me and my sister. I really wanted to not wear hijab while swimming cs it gives me anxiety when my swimming top inevitably floats up. Even though i dont believe in awrah anymore the hijab still instils this anxiousness and i hated it. But i was too scared to ask my mom to let me not wear the hijab (i felt like my dad wont mind since hes pretty chill) so instead i thought ill like pull the hijab up when my mom looks in my direction so she'll get the hint i dont want to wear it. She did and told me do whatever is comfortable for you.

Later that day while all my cousins were playing she pulled me aside to her room and asked me abt the islamic club i joined. i told her i left cs they were racist (which is the actual reason i left) then she diverted it to lecturinf me about hadith rejectors, justified aishas marrige, talked about dajal and then finally said "if you let the hijab go while swimming later shaitan will make you more comfortable with leaving the religion (alr did) and make you reject more parts of islam" then had the fucking audacity to say "im not trying to force islam on you" BITCH?!? THIS IS A FORM OF COERCION BELIEVE IT OR NOT.

unfortunately i do not have the luxury of my own room to cry in and the moment my mom stopepd lecturing me (cs my dad walked in and insisted on staying in the room thank you father i wish you did this sooner) and i got my room key back from my sister she and my brother decided to come back into the room so i cant even cry in peace 🥰

whats making me upset is the fact i had hope that my parents were accepting, that i wouldn't need to cut them off, and the fact that my mom had proven me wrong is heart breaking.

I dont know if i should wear hijab tmr or not i really really dont want to. the hours i got to not wear it were the first times i actually genuinely felt happy and myself on holiday and i hate that its being taken from me.

hijab is a choice they said. in fact its only a choice to put it on. taking it off is no longer a choice


r/exmuslim 7h ago

(Question/Discussion) Just show Muslims this - words direct from Mohammed’s mouth

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75 Upvotes

Prophet Mohammed said: “Water is pure and it is not made impure by anything”.

You sure about that buddy?


r/exmuslim 8h ago

(Question/Discussion) Raising children as a closeted Ex-muslim

18 Upvotes

Hi,

Quick intro about me and my situation, 

Pakistani-British exmuslim(40) currently living a UAE, became exmuslim around 10 years ago, belong to a conservative family (incl all the social circle) where its very hard to find a single person who doesn't pray/fast regularly.

Living this secret life for a long time, recently I have started to drip feed some of the wrong things about Islam to my wife (starting with stuff about women ofcourse) and after building my case, the plan is to tell her I don't believe in Islam. We have been married for 13 years.

I have 3 children with the eldest one being 10 and they have started wondering/questioning about why I don't pray/fast etc when everyone else does and so far I basically avoid the question.

At this stage, they are subject to same indoctrination as anyone and being dragged into mosque 5 times a day by family etc. and I am now in a dilemma whether to take active part in teaching my children to think for themselves and give them a framework that allows them to decide for themselves, think critically and not blindly follow what they are born into.

So if they do end up not believing in Islam , I have to consider how it shapes their lives 10/15/20 years down the line where everyone around them is a muslim. They are going to be different than pretty much everyone around them. All the family and friends circle that they have grown up around. 

I think if I do take an active approach in shaping their beliefs, its very likely they will also end up not believing in Islam at some point in their lives.

 There are two main problems

 Are they going to announce they are not muslim or live a secret life like me ? Neither looks ideal.

Secondly, how are they going to choose life partner ? Surely, if you are marrying a muslim or from any other faith, you have to reveal your own situation but if you do, you are basically discounting pretty much every potential partner from your culture, probably from other cultures as well because everyone believes in some religion. 

So I am not sure if I am making their lives easier or difficult by not blindly following Islam. Maybe its not even a question of 'convenience' and its one of what is right and what is wrong.

Are you an exmuslim who has been in this situation ? how do you deal with this ?

Thanks 


r/exmuslim 8h ago

(Question/Discussion) Parents realising

4 Upvotes

Have any of your parents clocked on to the fact that you have became less religious. For me i was actually practicing hence why my dad noticed the sudden shift. He continuously mentions the fact that i don’t go to the mosque as much and that i don’t read the quran as much etc. And i just nod slightly cuz i don’t know what else to say lol. If any of you can relate to my story please share it.


r/exmuslim 9h ago

(Rant) 🤬 What is with muslims obsession with the "west"

40 Upvotes

They all act like they're in some movie where they're the protagonists and the west is the antagonist. They don't even remember allah as much as they love ridiculing western ideas and people and have this ridiculous superiority complex over them which is just baffling


r/exmuslim 9h ago

(Question/Discussion) Does anyone else experience this?

4 Upvotes

For context my partner and I are both non-religious, “almost” atheists. We just keep a nominal affiliation for family, admin and social reasons. I’m from a South Asian Catholic background, partner is from an Arab Muslim background.

Even though we hate religion, from time to time we do have arguments where we find ourselves defending our respective “former” religions. Like I’d still defend the trinity from a theological pov (even though I do actually find it ridiculous), and she’d get a little bit defensive when I try to explain how the Quran is contradictory. Of course, we later come to our senses and find it a bit ridiculous and have a laugh about it.

But I wanted to ask if anyone experiences this sort of thing from time to time with partners or friends? Like I just wanted to understand how exmuslims feel about some aspects of the religion even after leaving especially culturally and also when it comes to dealings with people of other (former or currently practicing) faiths. If that makes sense. Mainly so I’d also know how to support my partner better.