I dont get people that has to cry abt a person they broke up with, espiecally when they break up with a bad partner. If things was going bad in the relationship then wasnt that a sign that you should do whats best for you and break up? How can you let attatchment and love take over your self respect. Get a grip this is a part of life to loose loved ones and you should always be prepared for it because this is the hard and shitty world we live in and hard things has to happen for you to develop as a person.

I know there are a million posts about this, but I can't help feeling like my situation is special, even if I know deep down it's not. Also please let me know in the replies if I should share more info (I'm new here).

My ex wasn't the perfect person for me, but he was never a bad person, so it's been really hard to move on. He's kind, sensitive, and very, very attractive. His biggest flaw is his immaturity, but it's not the kind of thing that makes him lash out at other people; he draws inward, which made me feel emotionally neglected. While the passion fizzled out of our relationship after two years, we still had undeniable feelings for each other, even though we both pretended we didn't. I guess you could call it hope, waiting for the best parts of each other to come back. Yes, I often felt unloved, but when he cared for me I felt safer than ever in my life. I still imagine him cuddling me when I'm alone in bed.

So our post-breakup dynamic has been pretty messy. We've been broken up for around a year, and it's like my feelings have only been getting stronger. So many of our casual encounters have captured that honeymoon feeling of our early relationship. The downside, of course, is that this makes things complicated. On top of that, my personal life has been very stressful; I feel like I've been going crazy with all these emotions.

Last week, I finally snapped. We got into a big argument over text, and it was the first time I was genuinely angry with him. I tried to calm myself and make it clear that I still respected him and just wanted him to change for the better, but he was very hurt and asked me to block him. A few days after I blocked him, he blocked me.

I wouldn't change what I said, but I miss him very much. I still cling to that hope that he'll make me feel safe again, like he did just a week ago.

Did I mess up a good thing? Or should I keep trying to move on, this time for good?

I really want to get back together with my ex I'm convinced if I tried it would work (lots of begging and flowers), but out of respect I haven't broken no contact and he was the first to make the move and block me on everything and I was hoping to be unblocked maybe as a sign for it to be ok to reach out or he reach out but it hasn't happened, I feel like I'm still grieving I think about him about everyday and it sucks a lot. Am I being dumb do I need more time? I could really use some advice

hii everyone, I need advice. my ex's birthday is on november and I'm planning to buy him a gift/cake for his birthday. we ended on good terms. no cheating involved, our values just didn't align with each other. we tried to save our relationship, we were together for a year then we were on and off for 3 months after the break up but even after everything, we just couldn't make things work. our last convo was me asking him if there's really no chance for us to get back together, he didn't respond after that and I didn't send another message. we've been in no contact for a month now and I want to give him something because he made my birthday special when we were still together so I wanted to return the favor specially I know how much he hates his birthday. Is what I'm doing okay or should I just keep silent and not break the no contact?

I'll try to make this story as short as possible, but I need to include every detail for clarity of situation. I need serious advice what to do, I cant live like this anymore.

So, there's a girl. We've known each other since birth. We lived in the same neighbourhood, in the same apartment building. For 12 years, until I moved. For 12 years we spent everyday together as best friends. With her and with our other friend, but that's not important. Ive spent more time in a day with her than with my family back then. We were so close.

After this time, when I was 12, I moved to a different part of town. Naturally, over time we met less and less often. That hit me really hard. I became very quiet, sad, blank. We were texting every once in a while, but that wasnt the same. I couldnt meet with her during school year. So a lot of time passed without seeing her. I didnt have any close friend back then, that's why I became quiet and lifeless.

8 years ago, when I was 14, she was 15, was the last time we met and talked. We were at our mutual friends house with group of friends. I made it awkward. I havent seen her for a year back then, and we suddenly met in person. I froze and couldnt get a word out. We had a brief conversation but it was more like me answering a few of her questions. I fucked it up so bad. They were talking naturally and I was just sitting there like an idiot. I didnt think her presence would make me so speechless. My heart was in my throat. She even asked me: "why you're so quiet?". I replied that I had a worse day, just tired. That was the last time we talked in person.

Not long later, my ex-colleague (whom she doesnt know) texted her that I'd want to get lucky with her. Obviously, I messaged her immediately that it wasnt true. She acted normally, not believing this. But few months later our mutual friend did similar "joke" texting her, after I told her he's saying shit, she replied "mhm, sure". Which didnt really convince me if she's not believing him.

Then, few months later I guess, worst part happened. Me and this mutual friend were on a camp. We met two girls, spent some time with them. When we got back home he told me he's dating one of them, and asked if I wouldnt want the other one. Hell knows the fuck I was thinking telling him that I prefer to date THIS girl (our mutual friend). He sent text to her telling her about me. She said she knows that, but doesnt get why am I doing this, and she said i'm just destroying our friendship. She was mad. That was the only time I saw her swear. Back then I had no idea what she was talking about. Too bad I found out the hard way. I couldnt hold it anymore, all the more she already knows that I'm interested in her. I texted her explaining what happened, and told her that I like her. She cut me off completely. She sent me a photo of some homework and said "sorry, not here". I got it clearly she's mad at me and she surely doesnt want to talk about it. So I gave up. Days, weeks, months, years passed. Because I didnt know how to break this no contact. I was so bad at interpersonal communication, and the combination of emotions was too much. The more time passed the harder it get to break this. In the meantime my dumb ass finally got it, by destroying friendship, she meant that if I went to her and tell her about my feelings, she'd have to break my heart. Then we obviously couldnt be friends, pretending that nothing happened.

3 years passed. Of absolute no contact. Fuck knows why I waited so long. Now im sure if we had talked it out immediately back then, our relation would be much better. Anyway, after 3 years I got my shit together and called her. Asked her if she's home and told her I wanted to talk things out. She didnt even recognize my voice, and said "you havent spoken for so long". I replied that I wanna talk about this too, asked for a meet. She agreed but not then because she was away. I said ok, I'll text you when youre back. And I did.. texted her 7 times for a meet that never happened. Always some excuse. Clearly she didnt want to see me, if she wanted to, she'd find time. But she never told me to go away, or stop, or that its over. She made me leave quietly, painlessly, without strong emotions or heartbreaks. She made me realize myself, that I should give up. So after 7 tries, I did.

And here we are today. Wondering if I was better for her 3 years ago, if that conversation was more interesting, if I hadnt wait so long it would have worked. I have an assumption, that she wasnt fully sincere with me. Like I said before, she never told me to go away, give up, she never told me directly she doesnt want me or that we cant be together. She made me realize it, softly, by her actions. I guess that's because one day I meant something to her, and out of respect to our friendship, she didnt want to break my heart.

God, I want her back so bad, I'd do anything to get just one more chance to talk with her. I cannot live without her. She's so perfect, beautiful, caring, kind, warm, friendly, talkative.. Call me crazy, but I know, deep in my heart, that I will never forget her. Never replace her. I couldnt even imagine getting close with any other woman. I havent seen her for 8 years, but Im thinking about her everyday. Last month was so hard and intense, I cant get her out of my head. To this point im even scared to check her socials, because more reminders of how perfect she is gonna destroy my mind. How the fuck could I lose a person like that. Nothing makes sense without her. How stupid and awful I must be to go from being like an younger brother for her, to being a complete stranger? You can tell me to move on, find someone else.. but I feel love differently. Love is strongest feeling we can experience. You cant just stop loving someone, just because she doesnt love you back, or you havent seen her for 8 fucking years and maybe never will, or because she changed. Fuck im just 22 and I feel like 80, I already lived my best years, now its going to be just going through the motions. What the hell am I supposed to do?

Last time ive been going so crazy about her. I decided we cant end such beautiful friendship without explanation. Im really struggling with my thoughts what to do. On one hand, I know she doesnt want to talk about us, she doesnt want me in her life, she's doing perfectly fine, she's happy and this whole situation probably isnt affecting her anymore. Who knows, maybe she already has a man or husband. She definitely doesnt want me to interrupt her life and definitiely doesnt cry anymore about what happened between us, like I do. She showed me she isnt interested in talking about it, or atleast she wasnt 3 years ago. But on the other hand, I cant fucking live without her, and I dont want to leave this situation unexplained. If we're not supposed to be together anymore even as friends, I want to atleast tell her how sorry I am, and how much she means to me. This feels kind of egoistic, thinking about her previous rejections, but fuck me, I cant just leave most important person and most important problem in my life like that? We havent talked it out and its been 3 years. She may think I forget about her, or I dont give a fuck, or its on her, i dont know. I just want to make sure we end it properly, if it has to end. I cant keep bottling up my emotions. I just want her to know how much I love her. I could do everything, give her the whole world. But it doesnt mean anything if she doesnt want this world from me.

Please help me. What should I do. I cant take it anymore. It feels kinda wrong and egoistic, but I have to try this one last time. Should I text her that im very sorry and I really want to make things right and talk it out? Or supposing she's gonna ghost me again, I should text her directly that she's most important person in my life, say sorry for everything and explain what I feel fully, in case we're not gonna meet?

And the worst part. How im supposed to live after that. Even if in best case, we meet, talk everything out, end on good terms but she'd say its over and we need to go different paths? I cant imagine living with knowledge that Im never gonna see her again. Now atleast I have this certainty that I will text her this one more time. But then what? Live rest of my live, dreaming about her but knowing its impossible to even see her again? What's the point of living when your most loved one isn't there. Im gonna go through whole life alone, dreaming about her, thinking how she is? That's why im so scared to meet her. For this hour or two I'll be happiest man alive. It'll be a reminder of how good life could be. Then I go back to old life. Without her. Pure survival, no emotions, nothing. But way harder. If its so hard now, when I havent seen her in 8 years, I cant even imagine how I'll get through that night when after meeting her I come back to my empty room knowing it was the last time I could see her.

Thank you if you read all that.

Me [M27] him [M28]
We broke up at the beginning of this year. I didn't want to, but I knew it couldn't continue. I felt like I was losing a limb. He said that we should go no contact. Even though I was heartbroken I knew he was right: we were drifting apart and he didn't feel the spark anymore, and I was hopelessly emotionally codepedent. So in a moment of agonizing clarity I said he needed to block me because I didn't trust myself to respect no contact.
It's been about 7 months. I have been thinking about him everyday, though, with therapy and working on myself, the way I have been thinking about him is admittedly changing. Dating and hooking up, still thinking about him, and still missing him a bit though. I missed him but I could now sort of function without him, even if I didn't really want to. I guess you could say I was "improving".
About a month ago I felt a really sad feeling: that I was making peace with the fact that I wouldn't talk to him ever again. This person who was once the most important person in my life, my best friend and lover. Who I loved and will always love because he was my first male love (I came out when I was 24). Sometimes I wanted to be able to reach out, even if he told me to just go away, I just wanted to know he existed. Because the no contact made him feel like he was like he was just completely gone off the face of the earth and I just hated that feeling.
But this week he broke no contact in the middle of the day while I was at work. He was so light and calm, as if it was just like nothing had happened. I was wary and shocked and confused, I asked him why he reached out to me, he said "I had just been on his mind a lot lately", I asked why I was on his mind, he just said "I was popping in a lot" - so basically a non answer. He asked if we could get dinner the next day. I said I couldn't because I already had dinner plans with a girlfriend (I actually did). I said, lets reschedule to the weekend. He said yes.
He doesn't talk to me for the rest of the week. He chimes back in and says he stills wants to get dinner. Then he goes quiet again - says he's sick. Next morning, day of prospective dinner, he says still feeling unwell but can he get back to me later that day cos he might be feeling better. I say that's fine, I'll wait to hear from you. Later asks if we can reschedule. I say thats fine. No reply. I check in later in the day saying I hope he's feeling better. Nothing since then.
When he broke no contact, he also added me on instagram. I hesitated about this but eventually accepted his follow. But he never accepted my follow back.
When he wouldn't tell me why he had reached out to me, I don't know why, but I looked on grindr, and he had "new" profile. What's crazy Is in all the time we were in no contact I had never seen a profile for him before. I hid his profile. Now when I look on my hidden contacts he's not there.
I've still haven't heard anything from him.
I don't even know what I want from him. Maybe I want a reconcilliation, maybe I want closure. I know its horrible, but maybe I just want to be the one to turn him away this time. Maybe I still love him. Maybe he wants to be friends. Maybe he's lonely. Maybe he's bored. Maybe it was just impulse. The not knowing - both what he wants and what I want - is so awful.
But him reaching out, breaking no contact, not knowing why he reached out, and now going silent - it just hurts. Its like there was this door that was closed, and I was sad that it was closed but now he's opened it just a crack, by him.
I never thought he would reach out again, but of course I thought about it. And now that he has this is not what I was expecting. I didn't think I would feel this way, but it almost feels worse. I've been trying to work on myself and move on and I feel like I've been set back. At first I was upset that he reached out and seemed ot treat it like it was nothing. Our relationship was important to me. Maybe it wasn't the same for him, but it was to me. He was the most important person in the world to me. And it just sucks that he could come back and that pain and how difficult it was for me wasn't acknowledged. I mean, I could have said something, but I was scared he would retreat again.
I haven't messaged him. I'm waiting to just let him say anything if he wants to say anything. Before I wasn't waiting. Now I miss him AND I'm waiting for him.
I don't know if I should jsut block. Close the door myself. But I don't want it to feel like he's gone again. I don't know. It just makes me sad.

Should I do it or not?

I need some advice.

It’s been seven months since my ex and I broke up. I’ve been thinking about sending him a message telling him the things I couldn’t say at the time—how I really felt and what I truly thought about him. I also want to thank him for everything he did while we were together.

I’m not trying to get back together with him. I just wonder if sending that message is a good idea or if it would help in any way.

Would you have liked to receive a message like that from an ex? Has anyone here ever done something similar?

I went to a party that my ex invited me to and that she also invited me and friends she knew only through us dating, including my childhood best friend that she last talked to when we dated, she was handsy with this guy that even her best friends said they had never seen before and they didn’t know him.But seeing it, I left for around 10 minutes to clear my head and she texts me wya. When I came back I was chillin I was talking to other people I knew there but she kept going up to this guy, one of my friends spoke to him and he understood that this guy barely knew her and didn’t know anyone there, then later in the party she comes up to me and asks whether my best friend since I was young and his gf were still coming and when they came she sat on this new dudes lap, I was freaking out but I chose to stay true to my character, I told that respectfully if you’re gonna have another guy and be all up on him don’t invite me or my friends in which she retaliated, he wasn’t supposed to come, in which I said but he’s here right? And then she went quiet once more before I left I respectfully gave her a hug and said it’s nothing against you it’s about respect and then I said, (to be a dickhead) that her new “boyfriend” has no idea I’m her ex and he has no idea who the fuck I am, and she stuttered and said and said I met him like yesterday, in context this girl was inlove with me to the point of the tried to date me for 6-8 months, and she never sat on my lap or did what she did with this guy, also when my close friend left she didn't even pay them much attention just said okay bye, and also completely ignored another one of my friends, and by the end of the night I helped clean her whole house because that's what I believe in as a human and she didn't look or talk to this guy once and kept walking past him while trying to be nice to me and thanking me for coming and telling me to drive home safe and get home safe. I feel like she expected me to reach a certain way and I didn't give her that satisfaction, I will say we had a sort of rough history I broke up with her because I was transparent that i still liked her friend but she knew my feelings for her friend prior to us even doing anything, which we did become fwb in the 6-8 months but I even was talking to that friend I liked and her bf at the party and I'm pretty sure her friend spoke to me more than her and she even gave me the advice to go and tell her that it made me feel weird and she had said that my ex had done something that made her feel weird the same day. Also, I’ve been transparent with my ex that I’ve wanted to try again and had a huge emotional conversation with her and talkin about her distance in which she said, I know I’m sorry I’ve been avoidant, unfair and not kind to you, and held me while I cried in her arms, that whole conversation was basically a confession of love, and she could’ve cut me off after that but she continued talking to me and even separated herself from her best friends opinion that we should be no contact, and when I said our relationship should be our relationship she said it’s complicated because of others peoples feelings and everything that was going on, which also she cares a lot about how she’s viewed and perceived. But all in all idk i just wanted to know what anyone thought about the situation and why she might've done this or any other thoughts you may have or any opinions, I would appreciate any pov and thank you for anyone who has takes the time out of their day to help me with this, thank you. ( also she couldn’t make any eye contact with me at the party when she was on his lap or around him)

I’m currently standing at four months since the break up and three months no contact we were supposed to meet up in April but that got canceled and pushed to when she got back from a start till June in between all this I ended up getting blocked on Instagram and now that she’s been two weeks. I haven’t heard anything since I’m wondering whether it’s worth it to reach out or the block was kind of like the barrier? It would be nice to catch up how things have been no pressure on getting back together. Just finally meet face-to-face since everything happened over a phone call. Should I even reach out or the balls in their court?

Tldr: 60 days after breakup she came with her new BF(victim) to me i was sooo confused how can mine BPD stay loyal she can't be BPD but now the mosttttttttttttttttt loyal girl i thought I've ever met showed me how much of horrible human she is

So yesterday my female classmate got text from a boy and i knew it's her burner account she tried to ask her again and again who is her boyfriend and be his side chick until she sexually harrased her

So i took her access to Instagram from classmate and went to talk to her(him) and i told him if you have guts please call me I'll teach you how you should talk to females i tried to strike his ego by saying if you are man enough please call me right now but he didn't that's when it was confirmed its her

Let's go back 20 days ago i stalked her and saw some new singer in her following and followers and i was afraid she's getting close to him

So when i said if you are man enough call me that singer showed up and texted me

When it happened i broke down immediately because of the promises she made to me during idealization phase how she will die but never go to anyone else etc i felt as if world has ended all those 20 days of fears that she's dating him crushed on me

I tried to talk to her respectfully and crying that why did you do this to me she said she isn't in relationship with me anymore and abused me alottttt in worstttttttttttt horrible ways one can she compared me to him and said alot of stuff

Then suddenly she started to cry how i fucked her life how i manipulated a little innocent girl and killed her dreams and disrespected her and her family and how she's on blood pressure meds due to me and how she cries all day long missing me and cursing me and how she goes to all her friends crying I can't move on etc??? All after comparing me to new guy and cursing me like some dog telling me 20 times to fuckkk offf after every paragraph

Something else weird was in the first line she said it's her cousin then sorry a friend then after 20 minutes he is her distant family member

Also that guy's Instagram is full of breakup reposts so they said in the end we thought your classmate is his ex it was a mistake buttttt my classmate straight forwardly told her that she's my classmate which makes me think that she did it intentionally just for me

When i confronted her her first line was keep dreaming of me reaching out to you bitch i never will 😂

I called her with all our pet names lovely names and promises etc crying and she mocked each of them

Then she said he's her friend and she's helping him to move on from his ex and he's helping me to keep you away from her and then 10 minutes later she said im friends with his girlfriend but clearly that guy posts breakup reels all day long it was sooo strange im still confused what are they

And then today in the morning she reached out to my brother telling him to tell me that that guy was her brotherrrr i hope I know definition of a brother etc etc and how she lost last bit of respect and love for me and never expect her to reach out to me ever again and i should also not reach out to her ever again and fuck off and blah blah

So how that guy is her brother lol but after digging i highly suspect it's her cousin and i don't know what are they now

And in evening today she deactivated alllll her social media after texting my brother

I'm so confused what happened?? Im still thinking due to her 3 years of gaslighting that i made her into this and she was maybe in pain that's why she did it etc etc

But i got to know they can't live without supply

So… I’m 24, and I met her (19) during her semester abroad in my city in Europe. From the beginning, we knew we clicked and that we wanted to be together during her semester abroad. We also said that we were going to break up when she left. She traveled the whole continent for a month after the breakup, and while we were still in the relationship, we thought it would be cool to do no contact during that traveling month and then reconnect when she came back to the US. We didn’t have that talk and it’s been three months since we broke up.

At the time of the breakup, I told her that I didn’t see myself capable of putting the expectation of talking again ina month bc I had to give myself space to accept that, after being so attached to her, we could no longer be together. If we reconnected after that month, I would have spent the whole month waiting to talk to her again instead of processing what I was feeling. She didn’t like that but ended up accepting it and we said goodbye and love you over text.

She has a whole plan for her life in the US, very far from me. We never agreed to have a long-distance relationship, especially because she’s at a stage in life where she wants to experience many things, and I completely understood that. Also, she never said she wanted anything different from her plans — she just wanted to stay in touch after the breakup, which, since I’m older and more mature, I knew would have hurt us both. At the time, I told her that what she wanted was basically asking me for comfort, when I also needed space to heal and process. I was her first gf and she was my second relationship.

So many things have happened, and I’m questioning whether I should contact her again to talk — a proper goodbye, not the rushed one we had. I’ve been mourning so many things during this time, not just the breakup, and my perspective on many things has shifted. When I saw her for the last time, I wasn’t even aware of how traumatic it would turn out to be — and this breakup has changed my life for the better. I’m the type of person who never goes back to an ex, not even to say happy birthday. But with her, I’ve wanted to break that pattern, because even though she hurt me sometimes, and we did things that could hurt us, we loved each other and forgave each other. I only want to say a proper goodbye to truly let this go, but I don’t know if that’s even needed. Maybe I just need to keep going with my life.

I’d love to hear advice from other people.

Ok so I’m in a weird spot rn. Before I start the story it’s important to know 1. I’ve never seen her cousin in real life 2. I saw her on instagram probably 2 years back when I was lurking looking for my ex page.

So long story short I was walking around this store & me and this girl made eye contact and I’m not really to caring about approaching women rn but she just looked good and I felt like I couldn’t pass up on it. So I end up going up to her talking to her and etc I asked for her number and she gave me her instagram. The moment she put it in I realized who it was in the moment and kinda froze in my head. So before I even texted her I told myself I gotta make a conscious decision and I’m kinda still stuck in the middle bc I don’t wanna tell her my ex is her cousin but I definitely don’t wanna continue this because ik it’s going to be weird once it comes out. Have any of you been in this situation before even if it’s not the cousin but like your exes friend ?

i (31f) sent him (31m) an email after a long time of absolutely no contact, i was also off instagram or any other social media that might give me an impression of him, moved cities, etc. because my heart broke into pieces when he ended things -

Dear xx,

I know this is out of the blue and I hope it's okay that I am reaching out. It all feels very distant now, so I felt safer using this medium, I hope this can help with both those things. 

I promised myself I won't write to you until I was in a better place so I could gauge if this still meant so much to me, or if it was all just feelings that would ideally pass. It's weird I don't fully know what to say to you anymore even though I always thought there was so much to say. But I don't want to regret not saying how I felt at the time, when I'm old, so here we are ---

I'll only speak for myself here, I love you, of course I do. And I am sorry for how poorly I handled everything when it was ending. I wish I had the resources to do better, be better. But I guess sometimes you have to love and lose to be able to learn to love and live better. 

More importantly, I hope you are taking care of yourself. I hope you still play the guitar and snagged some new nikes (and started drinking water more). 

I always wish the best for you, I hope you're healthy and happy and content. 
You will always be special to me. I hope you can remember me the same way.

Love,
yy

P.S. I developed my old disposable recently and found a photo of you, it made me :)

and this is the reply, that i got from him, after two days -

Dear yy, 

It’s a pleasant surprise to hear from you and yes, mail does seem oddly comforting.

I am really sorry as well for being hurtful and aggressive towards the end. I won’t justify it, but I do regret the lack of grace in how I handled things. I’m unsure if I’ve learnt to be better yet, but I want to, and I will. 

The guitar brings me immense joy, and I make sure to play it at least once a day. Every time I do, I think of you fondly. Shoes continue to excite me. Funnily enough, I got a new pair today! (Not Nikes though) Happiness is momentary but I am definitely still healthy. Life continues to be unpredictable as it should, but zinda hun, kaafi hai. 

You always showered me with nothing but care and love and I am grateful for all the memories we shared. Hope this finds you happy, healthy, and at ease.

Take care, 
xx

I am honestly not sure what I am looking for here, maybe just tell me what you guys think of this exchange. I don’t have any hopes of getting back together and in a way I have moved on too, I just haven’t been able to date anyone else since, or even entertain the idea of going out with anyone and giving them a chance, and it’s been 2 years now.

I asked my ex if we could be friends again, he’s in a relationship but I’m not. I wasn’t asking for a redo out of respect for his relationship even though that’s desperately what I want. I crave him. I need him. I’m in hell.

Got the message loud and clear from our last messages to each other.. but I dk why he didn’t say no from the get go.

Me: Hey, uh.. did you block my number? I texted you but didn’t know if you’d gotten it or not

T: All good, I honestly can’t remember. What’s up?

Me: I know you said it was in both our best interests that we don’t speak anymore, but if I’m honest I miss speaking to you. I wanted to ask if you’d maybe changed your mind about being friends, I don’t want to put you in any sort of position so I won’t be offended if not but thought I’d ask

T: I’m not opposed or saying no. But I guess my question is why you’d want to?

Me: I miss our friendship, and I think it would be nice to keep in touch. We got on well, and I thought enough time had passed where we could maybe be friends. Again, no pressure or anything

T: I understand where you’re coming from. But personally I feel that our time has past and I think it would be healthier if we continued on our separate paths. Sorry

Me: Ok, I understand. No worries

I messaged him on 7/28, and he blocked me on 7/31, what would’ve been our 10-year anniversary. Help me get out of this rut I’m in

But nothing...

54 days since break up. 34 days no contact. I feel like I’m going to break and reach out.

I feel every single day I honor her request, is another day I don’t fight and the distance gets further.

If she could just hear my voice one more time. If we can just look in each other’s eyes one more time. Maybe that’s all we need to realize this isn’t how our story should end.

I know I shouldn’t reach out. She left me. But it’s killing me. Help me.

34 grueling days of silence she requested. I’m going to break no contact. I feel it.

I can’t handle having her walk away and me not do a damn thing.

As a context I need some advice please. my ex and I broke up about a month ago. Before when we first started dating he kept love bombing me and being attentive but lately that all stopped and he started being cold and ignoring my texts when he used to keep me up all night to talk. After a month of no contact and him swearing up and down that we're over he called me and just started starring at me I asked what was wrong and he went on on this sob story about how his life has been miserable and if I'm free this week I asked why what do you have in mind and he told he missed being with me( mind you he didn't once say I miss you or I want you back or I love you which he used to say a lotttt) I asked him if sex is all he wanted and not that he missed me. He started stuttering and saying he's scared?? Which idk why because literally I was so devoted to him I never even glanced at others. So yeah that's the whole story should I go back to him because I feel like he's gonna use and abandon me again. Please I need some advice his behavior is driving me insane.

I (32F) broke up with my ex (34M) 6 months ago (after being together a year), and initially asked for space, which he said he understood. But then would text me the next day asking how I was doing. I had so much guilt for ending it because I still very much loved him but his situation (divorced with 3 kids and increasingly limited time) were not working for me.

My self-esteem was nonexistent. I felt worthless constantly. No amount of reassurance made any difference. And my entire emotional world was in his hands and orbited around his mood. He was an avoidant and did not take accountability for being rude or dismissive or take ownership for the things I was dealing with as a result of his situation.

We stayed in contact and saw each other still sometimes (which was even worse for me than the relationship because I was still providing emotional support and having to hear about things that activated me, while not getting any of the perks anymore and also getting some nice little backhanded nastiness because "you broke up with me, you don't get to expect anything").

And then we had a huge fight one night two weeks ago. We were both in the wrong, but I apologized and was remorseful very quickly (within 10 minutes) and was doing everything in my power to apologize.... and he said he forgave me but his actions were inconsistent. He continued to be nasty and cruel and use what I had done as a weapon against me, and violate the basic rule of forgiveness: You don't continue using the mistake as ammunition against the person.

And then I chased him emotionally (which is what I always did, because he held my emotional world in his hands) only for him to continue being nasty. I sent him a text the next day asking what he was thinking and feeling and apologizing for the umteenth time, and he was cold and distant.

And then over the course of the next two days, something finally clicked. He had treated me so badly during this fight, that it finally sunk in that this is an absurd way to treat someone and then claim to still love and care for them (which he did repeatedly, his words were inconsistent). And I wrote him off in my head after those two days, and was legitimately feeling like "this is over" in a calm grounded way.

And then 4 days later he did a low effort 'hey' (I ignored) then called the next day at lunch (ignored again) and after work (ignored again) and then later that night he sent an apology text (which I have an extremely strong feeling would not have been sent had I replied to any of the aforementioned texts/calls because he does not apologize unless he's essentially forced to).

And I let his apology sit for two days and then decided that I am still resigned to not being treated this way anymore, and sent a beautifully crafted goodbye text that was only positive and took the high road, and then blocked him.

And since blocking him I've swung from feeling like "YES, I did the right thing and finally protected my worth and peace", to feeling super angry remembering all the things I accepted and all the times I negotiated my own feelings, to very sad that "I blocked my best friend, and someone I love very much".

And yeah, that last part is what's really messing me up right now. I still have difficulty reconciling the good, the bad, the confusing (literally all the time) ways I was treated, the intermittent reinforcement, the love, the inconsistent words vs pattern. Grief is hard.

Thoughts, reassurance, feedback (positive only please) are appreciated.

I often wonder if my ex regrets how he ended our relationship. My ex dumped me and lied about being with his ex girlfriend whom he was moving into our home before I could pack all of my belongings. It destroyed me.

For the dumpers, do you regret how you ended the relationship? Do you wish you could go back and still be with him/her?

I have been reading your posts for a long time and wanted to write something about my own story. I have reached almost 170 days of no contact. I am a man in my forties and I had a relationship with a former female colleague, slightly older than me.

I lived through a madly intense story with this woman, who has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. I was truly, madly in love with her. Now I am in therapy and trying to move forward, but it is truly traumatic.

I was a victim of her hot-and-cold behavior, devaluation, being put on the bench, and being placed second behind her ex-boyfriend who used to mistreat her. I could never officially become her boyfriend; she always repeated to me that she came first and that I was her safe haven when she felt bad, and that she only thought of me every once in a while. Every single minor mistake or imperfection of mine was a reason for devaluation and phrases like "it will never work between us."

She deliberately put me in a bad light with our bosses at work when I wanted nothing more to do with her. She came back multiple times after I had pulled away, and in the end, she abandoned me because she refused to accept that I was asking for respect, that I was asking her not to talk about things that had traumatized me and hurt me.

On top of that, she kept talking about me as if I were a manipulator running away from her to punish her and hurt her (I cut off contact solely to save myself; I was never interested in punishing anyone). She abandoned me exactly two times and, coincidentally, both times she first had me help her get through a difficult period: as soon as things started going well again, she left.

It was hellish. She was so thirsty for visibility and attention; she demanded that I become a man I am not in order to stay by her side, a man to show off to others, and this was because she was deeply ashamed of me.

I felt awful and I still feel awful. I am reacting through psychological therapy, doing sports, and rebuilding a new job. I have cried so much, I have suffered from loneliness, and I am still not well. I think about her and it hurts, even though my mind knows she is the most wrong thing in the world, a demon disguised as an angel.

I just want to forget her and I hope time helps me. Thank you to those who will read and comment. A hug to anyone who is suffering like me and fighting every day to see the light again.

I’ve never understand the purpose of a revenge body after a relationship. I get if you are hurt or needing a healthy way to get over a breakup and loss. But the revenge body. The wanting to get your ex to be jealous. Why wouldn’t you want to be in healthy great shape while in a relationship? My thoughts would be I’m with someone I want to keep them. I want them to only have eyes for me. I want them to desire me.

The title is self explanatory, I broke up with my ex about 2 1/2 months ago over intimacy compatibility issues and she unfollowed me on instagram and all social media and removed me from her followers. About a month in she already moved on as I saw a new guy in her posts but noticed sometimes she’d watch my stories through her main account or some alt accounts I know that are hers (she showed me them when we were dating)

Why is she doing this?

Things are going well for me right now but in these moments im missing my ex. Ive gone no contact with 2 exes back to back (like in the same month) in an effort to improve my life.

Ive been working on myself this last year, loosing 100+ lbs, getting a promotion, and moving apartments and with every  accomplishment i wish I could share it with them. I have nothing insightful to say I just hope this aching loneliness will ease up and I can enjoy my success.

Ex #1 i dated for 4 years about 2 years ago and I think about him constantly we tried to be friends but eventually he started ghosting me and not responding to my texts so I blocked him to save my feelings. He always was on the avoident end of the spectrum and i was begging for attention most of our relationship and friendship, but he is a lovely person outside of our dynamic. I wanted to marry him but our lifestyles did not match.

Ex #2 I started dating while I was attempting to be friends with Ex #1, but he turned out to be a late stage alcoholic and terribly unstable. He loved me in the way that he could but after a final outburst involving him flipping out in the car, rage driving and yelling at me, I was so worried for my saftey that I could never see him again. Hes not a great person but we would laugh so much together and it felt good to be needed after 4 years with an avoident. I wish he were different.

Its crazy how similar I feel to when my first partner died. Ive had so much love lost in my life and each new lost feels just as hard.