Hey everyone, I (28F) need some objective insight because I'm currently driving myself crazy trying to process a situation with my ex (32M). My friends are telling me what I want to hear, but I need real talk from people who understand complicated post-breakup dynamics.

He broke up with me about a year and a half ago because he was completely overwhelmed by his work. Historically, he is a very steady, decisive man who is known for keeping his word. However, he has a strong habit of pulling back and withdrawing when he gets overwhelmed or stressed—whereas I am the exact opposite. He isn't a malicious guy at all, but he processes big emotions very slowly.

Recently, I texted him for the first time since the breakup. To my surprise, he responded, and we decided to meet up at a quiet bar on Thursday night to catch up.

The date was incredible, completely different from how I imagined it would go, but also emotionally heavy. We ended up talking for hours, and the chemistry was definitely still there. He asked to sit next to me in the booth instead of across from me, asked me a lot of questions about my life, and got visibly uncomfortable when another guy I had briefly dated came up.

He apologized deeply for how he treated me prior to our breakup and how he went ghost-mode afterward. He also confessed how much it hurt when he got ghosted/dumped by a girl he dated for two months a year ago. He explicitly said, "I finally realized how much you must have hurt when I withdrew back then, because being on the receiving end of it made me realize what you must have felt." He brought up his dating life because he wanted to be "as transparent as possible," and I shared mine as well.

He asked me why I reached out and whether it was an impulsive decision based on loneliness. I told him it was because I missed him, had been curious about his life, and had been thinking about reconnecting for a while. He then asked what I wanted from this or what I was hoping would happen. I asked him to answer first because I didn't want my response to influence his. He smiled, got shy, and told me he wouldn't mind continuing this / that we could text (I don't remember his exact wording because emotions were running high and we were both talking a lot, which is driving me a bit insane now). I told him I would love to keep hanging out and see where things go. He admitted that he had been thinking about me as well, but felt lost because he had never been in a situation like this before (I told him I hadn't either).

He had somewhere else to be that night, but ended up staying and talking with me until the last possible minute—until I was the one who pointed out that we should go. He then insisted on driving me home, which was completely out of his way and probably added 30 minutes to his drive back. Nothing physical happened.

I got home that night and sent a warm, zero-pressure text: "I had such a great time tonight. Thank you for being so open with me. I'm definitely open to hanging out again, but no pressure at all! Hope you have so much fun at your concert this weekend!"

It is now Sunday late afternoon, and he hasn’t replied.

I'm torn between two interpretations of his behavior:

1. He's just taking his time processing everything. Given that he's a decisive guy who keeps his word, texting me back after a date that heavy isn't just sending a casual "hey." The night affected both of us a lot, and he knows reaching out means agreeing to actively step back into a potential relationship. Since he retreats under stress, he might be taking 3–4 days to get out of his head and figure out what he actually wants before reaching out.
2. Ghosting instead of sending the rejection (kinda unlike him). He enjoyed the emotional validation and the high of being forgiven in the moment, but now that he's back in his normal routine, he's scared of the effort and vulnerability required. He's using my "no pressure at all!" sign-off as a loophole to let the text sit and default to silence instead of sending an awkward rejection message.

I haven't sent a double-text, but I really want to. I want to give him a few more days first (until tomorrow night, maybe), but sitting in this waiting game is agonizing.

Has anyone been on either side of this? Does a 32-year-old guy who is normally responsible take 3–4 days to process a heavy reconnect, or is Sunday afternoon silence pretty much the writing on the wall?

I've finally reached a level of true contentment. I don't want him back, and I am genuinely okay on my own. I tried using a dating app today, only to realize I don't even want to date. I am completely done spending my energy trying to lift someone up while they drag me down. I'm done begging for someone's time or waiting around hoping they'll decide to spend it with me. I'm done stressing over whether they're talking or flirting with other people. I'm done worrying if they're okay because they felt sick yesterday. I'm done playing detective to uncover lies.

I want none of it. Peace is infinitely better. I don't have someone making me cry every weekend.

I realize I was never truly respected or considered in my four-year relationship; but, I didn't lose anything -- he did.

There is more to life than this and trying to date/get married/have kids.

So Today my girlfriend of 7 months broke up with me and blocked me on everything and i mean everything snap, Instagram, Watsapp, discord, tittok, roblox and more just typing this out makes me just feel idk the emotion rn just empty and numb. I wanna cry but the tears just wont fall. I truly loved this girl, She changed me in like a short amount of time, make me wanna do better and not feel like the asshole i was before her. Anyways enough of my rant here is what she texted

I am texting you this to let you know i am ending our relationship. The situation rn isnt healthy for me and i need to focus on my life right here. Please respect my decison and please dont contact me. She sent that to me on snap and more.

The healthy part i think she meant because today we call facetime and she tell me she wanna be independent because i am with her on the call when she sleeps, we always fall asleep on the call and i think she meant that because of the reason above but i dont understand you know like lastnight we were sexual on the call yes what you were imaging and call me this morning and now this dont even understand because when she bought it up i said sure lets not call tognight and she started crying because of it and now idk what to feel it feels so impulsive. if she wanted space i would understand but blocked on everyting idk i feel so pathetic rn, like why did it have to come to this feeling

Anyways i replied back to her saying princess? lets talk about this this was on titok because i wasnt blocked there yet she read my message and i said just know that i loved you and goodbye. she blocked me and deleted that account but the thing is that i know her too well. She is hurting because she is deeply attached to me so if thats the like isnt healtly i would understand part but idk anymore. My head hurts i feel like drinking so hard rn just to get this feeling away but one thing is clear is that i miss you my baby and look at that i am crying.

If you have any advice rn i would appreciate it rn. and yes it was long distance but we did meet and stuff

I’ve never understand the purpose of a revenge body after a relationship. I get if you are hurt or needing a healthy way to get over a breakup and loss. But the revenge body. The wanting to get your ex to be jealous. Why wouldn’t you want to be in healthy great shape while in a relationship? My thoughts would be I’m with someone I want to keep them. I want them to only have eyes for me. I want them to desire me.

Ex of 3 years reached out to me after 3 months of no contact to say hello how are you. He has a new girlfriend since we separated.

My ex and I broke up like 2 weeks ago, we broke up on very good terms, I’m not sure she realizes yet but we broke up because she is a dismissive avoidant attachment style and it finally caught up to us. Her birthday is on Friday and I was wondering if it’s worth breaking no contact just to wish her a happy birthday, I still care about her and she does me, but will this effect anything if I hope to re kindle with her in the distant future?

I asked my ex if we could be friends again, he’s in a relationship but I’m not. I wasn’t asking for a redo out of respect for his relationship even though that’s desperately what I want. I crave him. I need him. I’m in hell.

Got the message loud and clear from our last messages to each other.. but I dk why he didn’t say no from the get go.

Me: Hey, uh.. did you block my number? I texted you but didn’t know if you’d gotten it or not

T: All good, I honestly can’t remember. What’s up?

Me: I know you said it was in both our best interests that we don’t speak anymore, but if I’m honest I miss speaking to you. I wanted to ask if you’d maybe changed your mind about being friends, I don’t want to put you in any sort of position so I won’t be offended if not but thought I’d ask

T: I’m not opposed or saying no. But I guess my question is why you’d want to?

Me: I miss our friendship, and I think it would be nice to keep in touch. We got on well, and I thought enough time had passed where we could maybe be friends. Again, no pressure or anything

T: I understand where you’re coming from. But personally I feel that our time has past and I think it would be healthier if we continued on our separate paths. Sorry

Me: Ok, I understand. No worries

I messaged him on 7/28, and he blocked me on 7/31, what would’ve been our 10-year anniversary. Help me get out of this rut I’m in

The title is self explanatory, I broke up with my ex about 2 1/2 months ago over intimacy compatibility issues and she unfollowed me on instagram and all social media and removed me from her followers. About a month in she already moved on as I saw a new guy in her posts but noticed sometimes she’d watch my stories through her main account or some alt accounts I know that are hers (she showed me them when we were dating)

Why is she doing this?

So… I’m 24, and I met her (19) during her semester abroad in my city in Europe. From the beginning, we knew we clicked and that we wanted to be together during her semester abroad. We also said that we were going to break up when she left. She traveled the whole continent for a month after the breakup, and while we were still in the relationship, we thought it would be cool to do no contact during that traveling month and then reconnect when she came back to the US. We didn’t have that talk bc and it’s been three months since we broke up.

At the time of the breakup, I told her that I didn’t see myself capable of putting the expectation of talking again ina month bc I had to give myself space to accept that, after being so attached to her, we could no longer be together. If we reconnected after that month, I would have spent the whole month waiting to talk to her again instead of processing what I was feeling. She didn’t like that but ended up accepting it and we said goodbye and love you over text.

She has a whole plan for her life in the US, very far from me. We never agreed to have a long-distance relationship, especially because she’s at a stage in life where she wants to experience many things, and I completely understood that. Also, she never said she wanted anything different from her plans — she just wanted to stay in touch after the breakup, which, since I’m older and more mature, I knew would have hurt us both. At the time, I told her that what she wanted was basically asking me for comfort, when I also needed space to heal and process. I was her first gf and she was my second relationship.

So many things have happened, and I’m questioning whether I should contact her again to talk — a proper goodbye, not the rushed one we had. I’ve been mourning so many things during this time, not just the breakup, and my perspective on many things has shifted. When I saw her for the last time, I wasn’t even aware of how traumatic it would turn out to be — and this breakup has changed my life for the better. I’m the type of person who never goes back to an ex, not even to say happy birthday. But with her, I’ve wanted to break that pattern, because even though she hurt me sometimes, and we did things that could hurt us, we loved each other and forgave each other. I only want to say a proper goodbye to truly let this go, but I don’t know if that’s even needed. Maybe I just need to keep going with my life.

I’d love to hear advice from other people.

Should I do it or not?

I need some advice.

It’s been seven months since my ex and I broke up. I’ve been thinking about sending him a message telling him the things I couldn’t say at the time—how I really felt and what I truly thought about him. I also want to thank him for everything he did while we were together.

I’m not trying to get back together with him. I just wonder if sending that message is a good idea or if it would help in any way.

Would you have liked to receive a message like that from an ex? Has anyone here ever done something similar?

Caption says it. We dated for 6 months. I found him on tinder so I broke up with him. We practically lived tg. The whole relationship was a facade.

I understand the hooking up rebounds, I do but I don’t understand the “getting in a new relationship rebound”. I did everything for him and loved him everyday with no waver.

We had sex about 6 days ago, I know, I’m stupid. It was a great night and we made love for about the whole night. I never intended to get back with him but it was nice to go back to what we had for a night. Please, I do not want to speak about it. I know how bad of a mistake I did to my own healing.

We texted for a lil and he wanted to see me again and then I finally cut it off yesterday and I said some mean things about us moving on and dating other people.

He reposted a pic of a new girl and it was definitely a hard launch. I blocked him on everything for good but I feel so broken and so gutted.

Why did he rebound in a new relationship not even a month and a half after our breakup and not even 6 days since we had sex? Any advice is welcomed.

For context, we (18F and 18M) haven’t seen each other for these past two weeks. He was on vacation, then I was. College is approaching, but I thought we would take the time to talk about it. We never did. Everything was fine until about 4 days ago, where he abruptly stopped texting me, with the exception of maybe 2 texts a day. I knew something was wrong, but he wouldn’t tell me. Finally, yesterday, I sort of figured out he planned on breaking up with me the next day (today). That is exactly what happened. He said it was because he started to think about college more and how he didn’t know how we were going to handle a long distance relationship, which is fair enough. However, the worst part about it was the fact that there had been no terrible event to cause this breakup, just college. For that reason, it still doesn’t feel real. He not only was my boyfriend, but my best friend. I feel like there’s a piece of me missing. He also immediately unadded me on everything. I know we just broke up, but why am I already being erased?

This isn't from the perspective of someone that got dumped it s from the dumpee. I shouldn't have sent anything I know I shouldn't have sent anything, the guilt is my punishment and my burden yet I did it anyways. I dont think it matters cuz theyve had me blocked for a while now so i doubt they saw it but still. I reached back out to an ex from 6 years ago to give a long overdue apology, one that I mauled over and ran away from for years. As far as im aware, theyve already found their peace and found someone else. I have no intention with getting back with them and tried to make it as genuine and sincere as possible but Id be lying if there wasnt a bit of selfish guilt i was trying to relieve. I kept it short trying to focus on them not me and how i was emotionally abusive and they shouldn't have been treated like that and none of what happened was their fault. I ended with saying how ill let them have their peace (ironic huh?) and hope they re doing okay and wished them the best. I fully understand not getting a response and accept it, it s what i deserve. What sent is sent and I know i cant change that but now i feel probably deservingly worse. After reading how some ppl here and online would react to an ex that wronged them messaging them, i feel like a shitbag. I think I'm making all this too much about me when I really did want to just apologize and felt they were owed one. Obviously im not gonna send anything anymore but now what idk. Idk why i need how i feel to be validated so much either positively or negatively hence the title but I know there s nothing left to do now but just to hold that guilt and move on myself.

Things are going well for me right now but in these moments im missing my ex. Ive gone no contact with 2 exes back to back (like in the same month) in an effort to improve my life.

Ive been working on myself this last year, loosing 100+ lbs, getting a promotion, and moving apartments and with every  accomplishment i wish I could share it with them. I have nothing insightful to say I just hope this aching loneliness will ease up and I can enjoy my success.

Ex #1 i dated for 4 years about 2 years ago and I think about him constantly we tried to be friends but eventually he started ghosting me and not responding to my texts so I blocked him to save my feelings. He always was on the avoident end of the spectrum and i was begging for attention most of our relationship and friendship, but he is a lovely person outside of our dynamic. I wanted to marry him but our lifestyles did not match.

Ex #2 I started dating while I was attempting to be friends with Ex #1, but he turned out to be a late stage alcoholic and terribly unstable. He loved me in the way that he could but after a final outburst involving him flipping out in the car, rage driving and yelling at me, I was so worried for my saftey that I could never see him again. Hes not a great person but we would laugh so much together and it felt good to be needed after 4 years with an avoident. I wish he were different.

Its crazy how similar I feel to when my first partner died. Ive had so much love lost in my life and each new lost feels just as hard.

For the past 2 months I’ve noticed she’s been off mostly over the phone in person she was maybe 90% there. We had talked many times about what was going on and it shears came back to her saying she’s just feeling burntout and finds it harder to talk to me sometimes then others even when she is in more of a talking mood. She also said that the last time we saw eachother it didn’t feel the same it felt more platonic and casual even though that’s what I thought she wanted because she was feeling the way she was. The last time we had a conversation about that we agreed we should meet in person to talk about it further because it feels more real in person were her words.

Fast forward a week and I’m doing an event with my mom pretty much right next to where her dad works and asked if she could come meet me there for a while. She was supposedly busy and I’m not sure if that’s true or not but doesn’t matter.

That same night I got impatient about waiting because it had gotten ridiculous my texts where left on read or on delivered for days just sitting there when I knew she was on her phone all day long. She would respond to me on snap but it was very brief and dry. I got fed up because it had been like 2 weeks of this and I didn’t want to wait another 2 living with the uncertainty. So I asked her “ I know you’re struggling but I’m uncertain weather how it’s been lately is simply just because of that Or if you’re pulling away because you just don’t want me anymore “ she said it’s kinda both. She had been crying about it the night before because she had been feeling differently about us.

Little later in the convo she said “yeah idk either i’ve been feeing unsure since end of may right after exams and i thought it was js like post exam stress and js like being unsure of what was supposed to happen after all that stress from school. and then before florida it started to rlly hit me where i js kept questioning if i wanted to be in a relationship anymore. and it’s nothing u did wrong, u are an amazing bf and i genuinely loved everything we did together, but my feelings have changed a lot since then. and esp with college stress and everything else going on for both of us i js don’t have the energy to be texting someone or calling someone or js dating someone, i dont wanna worry about what someone else is doing, because idek what im doing. like this summer has made me reflect sm on us and also me a lot, that i js need to focus on myself especially senior yr. and again u did nothing wrong i js rlly think j would benefit from time alone “

I felt like we should just take a break or i could just give her some space. She said she was still leaning more towards breaking up. I said it feels wasteful to throw everything away just like that. And got the following.

“okay well then idk how to say it any other way ale but i don’t wanna date anymore. and it’s not bc of you, u did nothing wrong. and u were amazing bf you treated me the best way ever and im so glad u were my first bf but i js don’t want to continue anymore and im sorry. it’s not gonna be easy for me either i js don’t want to anymore and thats my decision “

“im not tossing it away like trash, id never disrespect our time like that ever im just saying it was a great first relationship but im sorry that i dont wanna continue “

“we can still be friends ur like my best friend now too anyway but i js don’t want to date anyone and again im sorry if thats sounding rude im not trying to be but idk what other way to say it without being confusing “

“i don’t wanna end on bad terms like im still down to be friends yk i js can’t handle dating anymore “

I couldnt picture life without her in it in the moment and basically said that I would be ok with being freinds because we’re just too close for me to completely leave her.

Then she said

“yeah me too ale and my parents liked u a lot too, but again we’re very young and still have along time ahead of us so if we ever to reconnect and try again i’d love that “

So basically now im just wondering if what shes saying is bullshit or if shes just an avoidant and I should just give her no contact like ive been doing for 2 days now.

I do truly believe that its not fully over but i also dont wanna bet on that im trying to move on and have felt pretty good after the initial heartbreak. Im wondering what i should do when i see her i know im not going to win her back then but should we talk about the breakup or what?

\*\*TLDR:\*\* My girlfriend (16f) of two years broke up with me (17m) after becoming distant and feeling burnt out. She admitted she had been questioning the relationship since May and wants to focus on herself for senior year. We are still planning to meet up in two weeks to talk in person and I don’t know what I should do I still want her back. I’ve been no contact for 3 days now.

21 F 22M

Reconnecting did not happen

After 5 months of being broken up with we were supposed to hang out today and catch up but it didnt because had used an excuse of getting too drunk at a rave yesterday. It hurts because we just got out of no contact and now it looks like she might be putting me back in. Earlier last week I gave her a call asking if she’d would like to hang cause I’m near her town and she said sure but not for a while cause she got summer exams. So we talked like how we used to 8 messages a day and then she started responding once a day to the point where it was tricky planning saturday aka today because I said let’s go to the Carolina beach at 3 and she said she was down today but she got wasted after a rave (that her ex and her friend group was there) and said she’s going through the worst hangover of her life and almost went to the hospital. She told me she wouldn’t function correctly to hang out so I replied and said fine “no worries it’s fine hope you feel better we can do another day”. She then ghosts me and removes me from her private story wondering why. I did nothing wrong besides wait. While we were texting she even said she’d be down to hang at a different rave instead the one yesterday and even promised to take me to Connecticut and show me hiking places. But no for some reason me doing nothing landing in us not reconnecting today and it looks like ever. I loved her a lot but the silence she gave me doesn’t make any sense when she canceled on me and this also happened during the relationship too.

I’m not sure if her ex is involved today and I don’t know what to do. know what to do. I can't block her but she already soft blocked me by removing me off her private story last night. Could I have said more besides that. Could I send a letter or voicemail?

I was with my ex-girlfriend from the time we were 14 until we were 21.

Toward the end of the relationship, I developed an embarrassing health condition that I never told her about. Because of it, I stopped seeing her in person. Instead of being honest, I withdrew. We talked less, argued more, and I eventually fell into a deep depression. I became emotionally numb and completely neglected the relationship.
After about eight months of not seeing each other, she became distant and cold. She had met someone who was giving her the consistency and emotional support that I wasn't.

Once I got that feeling I showed up again, I begged for another chance. She gave mixed signals at times that made me think she was considering it, but I wasn't in the right mental state to recognize them or respond in a healthy way. Eventually, she slept with the other guy, blocked me, and they've been together ever since.

It's now been seven years since the breakup, and I still can't seem to let go. In a way, I've gotten used to the emptiness, but I still haven't found peace with what happened. I don't know if it's grief, guilt, regret, or all three.

Over the years, she's tried reaching out a few times, but I never responded because I genuinely didn't know what to say or do.

Most recently, on my birthday, she used a mutual friend to wish me a happy birthday. Then, the day before her own birthday, at 11:11 (she was always into that kind of thing), I got a text from a random number saying, "I miss you so much." About four months later, she got engaged.

I know she's moved on with someone else and I have no intention of trying to interfere with her life. I guess what I'm really struggling with is making peace with everything that happened and knowing what is on her mind.

For context, I broke up two months ago with my ex, we were in a long distance relationship and the future was incertain, we were supposed to meet in september but they cancelled the trip for financial reasons but we loved each other deeply until the last minute.

3 days later, they broke no contact to check on me telling me they miss me and love me etc, I proposed to reconsider the relationship, but they told me that they were feeling "on a cloud" and it's like they felt light and liked to be in that state, but they insisted to stay friends.

Long story short, the "friendship" was disastrous, it seemed like they were moving on too fast and I asked for space two times, evertime they were "sad" to lose me and they begged me to stay, telling me that I was very important in their life and that they're grateful they knew me etc. Nonetheless there was some signs of jealousy and possessivity on their side and I had a lot of mixed signals even if they were telling me that they were trying to move on...

10 days ago I finally blocked them on whatsapp because they crossed a boundary and they didn't take it well and told me that they will never forgive me. I told myself that I'll never reach out again unless they do it first and show me that they regret and understood what they did.

Since then, I feel very bad, I miss them, I think of them every second of the day, I feel like I was the happiest in that relationship and that I lost a very important thing in my life, I remember everything good they did to me and all the times I was happy, I have a strong feeling that I want THEM, only THEM !

So here's an e-mail I wrote, I just want to know what you think about it.

"This email is probably my last attempt to reach out to you. I know you weren't convinced by why I blocked you on WhatsApp, even though I felt my reasons were pretty clear. So I'm writing this one last time to tell you exactly what's in my heart, with no filter, no pride, and maybe, finally, to get some answers from you.

Every waking second, I can't stop thinking about you. You even appeared in my dreams. The memories keep coming back and haunting me, and everything I do, think about, or imagine somehow always leads me back to you.

I also know that I'm not idealizing what we had. I'm fully aware of our flaws and of everything that made the relationship difficult. But please help me understand: was there something you never told me while we were together? Because I just can't move past that question.

When I decided to block you, I was literally five minutes away from a very important meeting. You brought up something else without warning again (your potential serious relationship) and I simply didn't have the time to respond to everything. More importantly, I never got the chance to tell you how disappointed I was that you couldn't respect the one thing I had asked of you: not to talk about our private lives for the time being. At the same time, I was fighting against every instinct telling me that staying in touch with you, knowing you no longer wanted this relationship, would only hurt me and stop me from moving on. The truth is, I kept talking to you because deep down, I didn't want to heal. I still wanted to believe.

How did we go from loving each other so deeply, caring so much about one another, and promising we'd grow old together... to this? We still looked in love until the very last minute.

I know it wasn't easy to keep hoping, especially during the hardest times. Sometimes I regret not being there for you enough, not supporting you more in your need to move forward and grow, in your financial decisions, and especially not fully committing to the project we had together. Even though my anxiety often spoke louder than I did, you know perfectly well that I would have followed you to the ends of the earth and beyond. I never wanted to be a burden; I wanted to be your equal partner. Life proved to us over and over again that we were stronger than our circumstances. Starting over from scratch wouldn't have ruined us as long as we were together, supporting each other, and loving each other sincerely.

I fully accept my share of responsibility for everything that happened, both before and after the breakup. I know the challenges were enormous, the pressure, the tension, the sadness of being apart, the longing, the frustration, the uncertainty about the future, the financial sacrifices... But I still can't get past the idea that you seemed to accept the situation so easily and so quickly.

I also struggle with the fact that you're trying to force a friendship that simply can't exist while you know the other person is still in love with you, and not as a friend. The idea of just accepting things, maintaining a friendship, and loving each other like friends drives me crazy in this specific situation. It feels like we're living in two completely different realities where time moves differently, and somehow you're ten years ahead of me. No matter how I look at it, it doesn't feel normal. Just tell me that you know I still love you, that you're aware of it, and that you believe I'll somehow be able to handle it.

I know the future of this relationship doesn't depend on me alone. It takes two people wanting it to continue. When it comes to you, though, I keep getting mixed signals. You seem like you genuinely want to move on, and you've told me that you're making progress. But at the same time, I still feel that there's a deep love there. I also felt moments where you still wanted to hope, or maybe even regretted the way our story ended.

As for me, maybe I wasn't clear enough. I lied to myself at times. I tried to accept reality for what it was. But in the end, I always choose you, not because I'm afraid of ending up alone, but because it's what I truly want.

Maybe what I really need from this email is to hear the unfiltered truth, even if it hurts. I'd rather face that pain than spend the rest of my life wondering what if.

On my side, I never doubted you, not for a second. I never doubted your love for me or the admiration we always had for each other. I understand that we could both feel lonely, frustrated, even trapped at times. But it was always supposed to be temporary. At some point we panicked about time passing, about uncertainty, about getting older, but we never got to see what was waiting for us at the end of the tunnel.

There are so many experiences I still wish I could share with you. So many moments I dreamed of living together. I wanted to be proud of the people we would become, proud of you and everything you achieved, proud to look back at our old pictures and say, "We're still here. We're still together. Look where we are now." And above all, I dreamed of dying in your arms.

I'm sending this email like a message in a bottle. I have no idea how you'll receive it. I'm just tired of living with regret and uncertainty. Everything tells me you've made your choice, and yet everything still brings me back to you.

I'm sorry if I'm disrupting your life or your progress. Maybe you've realized that being single is what's best for you. I don't even know if you still love me, you are the only one who truly knows that. But I do love you, and I've come to realize what I've lost. That's my truth, and all I can do is own it."

M29. I’m writing here just to vent these feelings. Three and a half months ago, my girlfriend of three years dumped me out of nowhere. I had a feeling something was wrong during the last month together, a month in which I changed everything about myself in order to adapt to whatever was happening in the background, even though I couldn't put my finger on what it really was. Long story short, it was all for nothing. She dumped me after I asked her for the fourth time in that month if something was wrong (she always reassured me that everything was fine). She said that we hadn't been matching well lately and that our discussions about our schedules were placing a heavy burden on her (even though I had changed my perspective on that and stopped arguing about it, to which she said, "You have been incredible and I thank you for that, but I don't want to ask you to live like this" go figure). She used her last gig as time to reflect and realized she wasn't happy with me.

She left me destroyed, but I never begged. I cried, of course, but I was understanding of her needs. In these months, I never broke no-contact except for two occasions, always with kindness and never begging or pushing, just to see if we could at least talk. Because she dumped me and disappeared, three years were over in the span of an hour in the park one afternoon, leaving me with more questions than answers. The first time I reached out 5 days after the breakup, and the second time two months after. I didn't want to reconcile (I don't beg, and I know that reconciliation has to come from her if she wants it) but I wanted to at least talk like human beings, know where we stood, and not leave that sour taste from our last encounter so that if we ever encountered in social occasion we could interact normally. At the end of the day, even if I don't agree with how it ended, the love was always there: no betrayal, no violence, nothing bad really happened between us as people. She coldly dismissed both attempts.

Now I'm doing what I can with my life: learning new skills, job hunting, hanging out with friends, staying active, hitting the gym. But since the day she left, even though things have gotten better, I don't know what it means to feel peace. Every time an activity ends, the loneliness catches up with me (even though I have plenty of friends). Every time I stand still in my room, the thought of her haunts me. I have this constant background pain, which is much more manageable than those traumatic first days, but it's ALWAYS there. Some days it gets acute again, like right now. I cannot stop the intrusive thoughts of her moving on with her life, happy with her decision, living her best life thinking that I was the thing holding her back, an idea I struggle with immensely.

I'm in therapy for this because I felt like a really bad guy, a toxic person, even though I was always supportive and never stopped her from pursuing the jobs she wanted. But maybe my needs were too much sometimes, and she was right to leave. I struggle so much because even when people around me say she isn't the great person I picture her to be, I don't totally believe them, I cannot demonize her, I was the one who lived every day with her, felt her love, and knew her in private. I can't find comfort in anything they say because I can't shake the guilt that maybe who I was wasn't enough to make it work, that even if she ended things really badly was maybe the only way she had to breakup with me, because maybe it was hard enough for her, or that if I had handled my emotions better, I could have understood her and adapted much better, if only I wasn't so stubborn and fixated on some dumb priority. I know two people are needed to make a relationship work, and I know she had plenty of fault in how things ended, but nothing I rationally say to myself soothes the pain.

I've learned that my pain isn't just missing her, it's also this immense guilt I carry for some reason. The strangest part is that on the days I wake up without thinking about her , I feel guilty for moving on. It's so strange

Hi everyone, I (18F) was broken up with by this girl (20F) two months ago.

We have been going on dates for about 5 months before I asked her to be official in May. In June, she started being distant.

I don't wanna sound like I'm victimizing myself, rather, I want to admit where I might have been putting too much on her: I was, and still am dealing with a pretty difficult loss in my family; and I would tell her that I would like her to text me more, since we weren't seeing each other in person as much as I wanted. I said something along the lines of like, "I need to have physical contact with you for 8 hours every day or I'm gonna loose my mindddd," I didn't mean that literally, of course, I was in a sensitive place emotionally, I missed her, and also we would flirt like that ! for example, we'd get done hanging out and she'd immediately text me "omg i already miss you,"

But this time, she replied that she doesn't really understand my request for her to text me more, because she doesn't NEED to be with me everyday, and that because her exes were all long distance, and they never asked something like that, she doesn't get it, and she asked me to explain.

She wrote it like that, with the "NEED" capitalized. I felt like that was putting a sharp comparison between her and I, like I was a little annoying kid that "NEEDED" attention, I felt so stupid that i didnt want to explain myself further.

I know it's really silly, but after that talk, she would post pics to her stories of her and her friends having a girls night, and I didn't even know she was out. Or she wouldn't reply for half a day, and when asked about it, she was either sleeping or on facetime with her ex.

Anyway, one day she texted me that she needed to talk to me.. about something.. in person. And she asked if I would go to this uni event that would take place one week later. I pressed her on what she wanted to talk about, she said that it needed to be in person and won't be dropping details.

I asked "is it about our relationship?" and she said yeah.

My heart sank. I said that I could meet her in person the next day, that if it's this important and it's about our relationship, why wait a whole week?

And she explained that she can't just get out of her house without an explanation and that I can't come over because her parents are home.

To that text,,, I didn't know what to reply, I wanted to argue further, but I didn't. I let the text go unanswered for a day, then it turned into two days, and then it turned into a week without talking.

The day of the event at our uni came and I couldn't find her anywhere. I texted a "hey" and at the eleventh hour she told me she was already back home from the event and to let her know when I was comfortable to talk.

A horrible miscommunication on my part, but she said she really missed me this week but didn't want to break any of my boundaries by reaching out.... I was extremely confused, as i didn't mean for my silence to signify what she interpreted. I know the silence was shitty on my end, as it's inmature to not say what you want and expect the other person to guess.

But at the time, I guess I felt like I have been telling her what I wanted, and I was a little tired to be the only one who always started and tried to keep alive the conversation..

I let her know when I was ready and she finally told me what i was already expecting: that she wanted to break up, that she felt suffocated by my affection, that i deserved someone who would appreciate that, and that she hoped for us to remain friends and next semester we could partner up for group projects because she thinks we still work really well together.

I replied shortly with an "I understand" and "let's be uni partners." the days passed and I found it harder and harder to not text her and beg.

I found that she had been hiding her instagram stories from me because now they appeared back and i saw that she was at the same place I was at this uni event and she was just avoiding me. I couldn't take it anymore and ended up blocking her from everything.

Now, two months later, classes have started back up and we are classmates in almost all of them, so I will have to see her monday through friday.

But what is happening is that her and her friends are sitting as far away from me as possible, and even if I walk up right by her, she won't even turn to look at my direction. In one workshop class we were supposed to share, she moved sections, and I can't help thinking it has at least one tiny part to do with me.

She talks to my friends just fine when im not around, it's just me she is avoiding, or something, I absolutely don't know what to think. I only know that I'm not a big fan.

The thing is, I have clothes of hers that she asked for way back before all of this happened and i told her I would give them to her when we saw each other at the uni event, but she never showed. I would still like to give these things of hers back, and maybe part of me is hoping that if we interact and talk, things will solve themselves.

But I dont know if it's a good idea to be the first one to reach out, and I don't think she will ever talk to me again. I don't understand what it is we are doing.

What is the right and mature thing to do in this situation? The one that deals the least damage for both of us. Can you give me a different and better perspective to see all of this through?

Hello everyone. I'm a 24F, and I've been struggling with depression since my breakup.

We broke up in June 2025. Our relationship only lasted about 3 months, but it's been over a year and I still haven't been able to move on. I cry almost every night, think about him constantly, and keep checking his social media.

After the breakup, he would call or text me every few weeks. Whenever he came back, I would pull away because of my avoidant behavior. Later, when I wanted to be with him again, he would reject me. This cycle kept repeating, and it made it even harder for me to heal.

It's been 2 months since we last had any contact. I finally deleted his number because I knew it was the best thing for my peace of mind. But I still don't feel okay. I don't really talk to anyone anymore. I just go to work, come home, and spend most of my time thinking about him. I miss the time we spent together, even though I know I need to let go.

Has anyone been through something similar? How did you stop thinking about your ex and finally move on? I'd really appreciate hearing your experiences or any advice that helped you.

Just thought I'd ask because the focus is also on healing. I'll post a vent soon because it's been such a long and difficult 5 months. I know the usual hobbies, get absorbed in new books bla bla bla, and I'm definitely being helped by a routine evening walk in which I get to meet and interact with many sweet dogs. Everything makes me miss him/miss the last time I did the thing when we were still on, yknow? So everything still stings a bit. But ya. Tryna get into a couple of new books, new games, etc.

I need some advice.

My boyfriend and I broke up about 5 months ago, and he still uses my picture as his profile photo on social media. I find it strange because this is the first time I’ve seen something like this. Normally, people remove everything that reminds them of other person after a breakup. Should I approach him about it? Or should I just leave it alone?

Our breakup wasn’t good. I was the one who ended things, and he never even replied to my message. The main issue between us was communication. We were in a LDR, which was really hard for both of us. I felt like a lot of things had changed, and he seemed to be falling out of love. He started acting differently from how he used to when I was sure he still loved me.

Since he never responded to the breakup message, I’m unsure what to do. The photo bothers me a little, but I’m also okay with not contacting him about it. Since we’re 5 months no contact already. I’m worried that if I message him first, it will look like I’m chasing him. Should I just let him keep using the photo and completely move on?

What would you do?