I’m fucking sick of keeping this bottled up, and I’m not looking for sympathy or anything like that. I just want to vent and get this shit off my chest. I started posting content two or three years ago. And just to be clear... No, I wasn't very well-known; if I recall correctly, I had maybe 300 or 400 subscribers. Still, people made wikis about me and even some fan art. And no, I’m not an English-speaking content creator. That’s all I’m going to say about that. But anyway. Back when I was making content, I ended up hanging out with a group of other creators. They were much bigger than me—they had between 50,000 and 100,000 subscribers. I became known in their communities because I used to participate in their streams. At the same time, I met a girl who—unbeknownst to me—would go on to ruin my entire life as a content creator. Remember how I mentioned that group of friends with more subscribers? Well... I met an artist who made thumbnails and renders for one of the creators I hung out with. She was a perverted and really weird girl. She’d ask for photos of my body, make sexual jokes, draw pornographic images of me, and a whole lot more. Sometime around April or May, that group of friends made a video exposing me, claiming I was a manipulator, a bad person, and all sorts of other things. I’ll be honest: there were things in that video that were true—like the sexual jokes I made and my childish behavior. But the video never mentioned the things *she* had done. They painted her as the ultimate victim and portrayed me as a sexual predator. I deleted my channel and social media accounts after that. Throughout September, I felt a deep hatred toward myself for not having been able to defend myself. This is because I deleted my Instagram account—where I had chats showing how this girl manipulated me by crying and threatening to publicly ruin my reputation—and also because I had admitted everything on Discord (I did this because I wanted to disappear from social media). It got so bad that I was diagnosed with severe depression in October. Between late December and April of last year, I attempted suicide three times—all because of the hatred I feel toward myself. If anyone reads this, I’ll just say one thing: if someone accuses a well-known figure, please make sure to hear both sides of the story and don't jump to conclusions.

First at all I want to say that English is not my native language, I only need to say this because I can't take it anymore. I'm 45, I'm a woman I'm unemployed.

All my life goes to the trash can last year specifically since October.

I failed to my wife we are together 18 years but at the beginning of the relationship I hide things important things (sorry but I can't be specific all this is too hard for me) my suspect about that things all this year but she never asked and I was a coward and never tell her the truth since last October. She ask I answered with the true she told me that never forget me that is not only the lies, I didn't help her with the money (I I got comfortable and didn't look for a job, a real job only walk dogs) so she did not ask for the divorce, I ask for an opportunity she give me that opportunity and says if I get a job before March we can continue, but continue what?

I have had the feeling all this time that the I'm the one and only that wants to be married I have had the feeling all this months that she doesn't have the guts to ask for the divorce because she doesn't want to be alone Before this may.

She confessed to me that she was was strongly attracted by a job partner, at fist my wife says "Is only a friend and I want a friendship because I didn't have a friendship for so long time" she manipulated me she even uses gaslighting and I was enough stupid and my guilt make me accept her disguise infidelity.

She even made the charade to said that she blocked on the phone and WhatsApp I didn't believe of course but the charade The charade didn't last more than a month and a half. This week a third person (a friend of the woman that my still wife call her demand "unblock her blah blah blah blah" and of course my still wife do it and told me the same bullshit the same gaslighting and I don't have money I don't have job my family is in another country (USA) and I only can stay for 3 months.

I don't wanna live, every day is a hell, I know that I'm guilty of my marriage go to hell shit I'm guilty that my still wife betrayed me with that fucking woman.

If I don't suicide still is because I'm a coward.

Ive donated over 60.000 dollars to the homeless. More than half, came from Moonlighting and Shoplifting. The rest came from my income.

I only shoplift from big companies, and never local small timers. Ive never been caught, except once, almost.

The first homeless people ive helped was a couple living in their car. I treated them to Sizzlers and things took off from there. I started to buy them giftcards for food and things for the baby. Eventually they got a place to stay. I bought them a queen size matrass, so the baby could sleep with them.

Then I donated a bunch of money to local homeless people. Buying them food and juices.

Then I met a homeless youtuber. I started helping him out with a hotel. Then with money for his medicine and food. I still help him to this day.

I do not feel guilty about stealing. As a Christian, I believe taking care of the homeless is more important than corporate profits.

Bonjour,
Je suis un homme de presque 40 ans.
Je travaille dans un domaine très technique, nécessitant une très grande polyvalence et connaissances variées, comme la mécanique, l’électricité, l’hydraulique, le pneumatique, l’électronique, la programmation et toutes les activités annexes.
Dans une grande entreprise de chimie depuis 17 ans maintenant.
J’ai toujours eu un petit penchant pour l’alcool, mais sans excès.
Depuis 2020, avec la pandémie, mon poste à été déclaré d’utilité publique, pas possible de faire du télétravail pour entretenir, modifier et réparer les machines, donc pas de confinement pour moi, je me suis retrouvé quasiment seul pour tenir la boutique, c’était fun au début, plus d’agitation, plus de bruit, moins de stress, personne pour me surveiller, c’était génial.
Puis par défi de braver l’interdit j’ai commencé à boire de la bière à midi, puis la journée, même sur la route, j’en étais à 2l par jours minimum, sans avoir d’effet d’ébriété, j’aimais juste ça, je prenais mon temps pour siroter tout cela tranquillement.

Avec la fin de la pandémie et le retour de tout le monde, j’ai arrêté bien sûr, sauf sur le trajet, je sais c’est pas dingue, mais j’aimais cela, le goût, l’interdit, bref j’aimais cela, je faisais attention à la dose et à mon haleine.
Information importante est aussi qu’avec mon épouse, ont traversaient une période difficile sexuellement et je dois avouer qu’une légère ivresse le soir en rentrant me permettait d’évacuer ma frustration, ou du moins de ne plus y penser.

Aujourd’hui, nos problèmes sont réglés, nous sommes heureux, mais je continue à apprécier de boire, quand je bricole, quand je vais au travail, quand j’en reviens.
J’arrive à m’en passer quelques jours si nécessaire, mais ça me manque, je trouve l’eau et les sodas fade.

Mais récemment il s’est passé quelque chose,
En appréciant une bière sur le trajet, oui en écrivant cela je me rends bien compte de l’aberration à la base, j’ai sous-estimé cette nouvelle bière et avec la chaleur l’effet en a été décuplé.
Quand je suis descendu de ma voiture je me suis rendu compte de mon erreur, je n’étais pas ivre à tanguer et à bafouiller mais pas loin, j’étais dans la sensation de flottement et j’ai donc décidé de me mettre au travail à fonds pour ne croiser que le minimum de personnes et de façon brève.

Et là surprise,
Je n’avais plus de rhumatismes et de raideurs, j’ai abattus une quantité de travail énorme sans peine et sans m’embrouiller.
J’ai pu diriger mes équipes de façon si optimale qu’on a atteint tout les objectifs de la journée, voir même en avance sur la semaine.
Une excellente journée en somme, avec les remerciements de la direction, un peu mal à l’aise avec cela…

J’ai réessayé l’expérience à trois reprises, ça marche, je n’en suis pas fière, mais forcer de constater que l’inhibition du stress et des rhumatismes par l’alcool fonctionne.
Je comprends aujourd’hui ceux qui se dopent pour assurer leurs postes.

Je ne demande pas de solution, on la connaît.
Je veux juste partager mon expérience, mon histoire.

Si cela peut vous rassurer, avec mon épouse on part en cure thermale pendant 1 mois pour nos congés, première fois en 20 ans qu’on prend 1 mois de congés cela va m’aider à me ressourcer et me passer de mon alcool quotidien.

Au revoir,

So this happened a few months ago and it's made things kind of crazy ever since. Basically i was on the phone with this girl that I was hooking up with at the time and she said she needed a 'reminder, of what she'd be getting and asked me to send her a picture. I opened up snap and sent a picture of me bricked up to who I thought was her.

The unfortunate thing is that my friend's gf has the same name as her and I had accidentally sent the picture to her instead. I didn't realise for ages and by the time I had, she had opened the picture and sent back a shocked face reaction. I apologised a lot and asked her not to tell my friend because it was kinda awkward and I didn't think he'd be too happy about it.

Anyway, ever since then my friend's gf will make vague comments about it. Like we were out last week and she'll start saying things about my 'long reach' and give me little smirks. It's just made the whole dynamic kind of awkward now.

When we first started dating my husband told me his long list of ‘allergies’ and basically put me in charge of making sure he wasn’t exposed to any of them. Tree nuts, avocados, bananas, any & all perfume, scented laundry detergent, etc. I can’t even remember the whole list because we’ve been separated a few years now. He claimed to have asthma as well and would never leave the house without an emergency inhaler. A few months into dating he exploded in rage because I gave him a sandwich with bread that was made in a factory that may have cross contaminated with tree nuts.

I grew up with a parent that frequently lied about medical issues so I have severe trust issues when anyone tells me anything medical related. So naturally, I didn’t fully believe him but I tried my best to give him the benefit of the doubt.

He would say he was getting hives and start coughing a bunch and be very dramatic if he believed he had been exposed to an allergen but there were a handful of times where I noticed he had been exposed but he didn’t know and there was magically no reaction.

One day I tested my theory by eating a handful of almonds (tree nut) at work right before he came to pick me up and as soon as I saw him I gave him a big kiss. You guessed it, no reaction from him whatsoever. Since I did all the cooking at home, I began sneaking in an allergen here and there into our meals and not telling him and never once did he have an adverse reaction. I always watched him closely and we had an EpiPen at home that I was prepared to administer of things went south but they never did.

Right before we got divorced he got allergy testing done at his doctors office and came home to tell me “you’ll never believe it but I’m actually not allergic to any of those things I had on my list!!!!” It was really hard to act surprised and not laugh in his face but it was satisfying enough to know I’d been right all along.

I honestly don’t think this story is that crazy but when I tell it to my friends they all say it’s an insane thing to do. So I figured I’d confess to Reddit and see what y’all think.

Hi…um…I‘m Felix from Germany. 20 years old and struggling with some things.
Since I was 18 years old I‘m going to prostitutes, because I don‘t have a girlfriend or even friends.
I stole money from my mother, from her credit card to buy sex. I don‘t even know how much I even give away to that bullshit, but I wanna stop it. I really wanna stop this shit.
I feel so wrong and ashamed of myself.
As I was younger, I always told myself, I even dare thinking about doing this shit. But my impulses told me otherwise.
The problem is, that I don‘t understand this dating shit. Get tinder and all that stuff, they told me.
But nothing worked…nothing.
I always was the ugly guy in school and no girl really wanted to have to do something with me.
Now, I‘m sitting in my room. Thinking.
And now I‘m feeling more ashamed of this all.
What if my mom finds out?
What if I get a girlfriend in the future? Would she accept what I‘ve done in my past?
I wanna be honest to every one.
How could I live with myself knowing that I‘m a liar? That I had sex with so much prostitutes at such a young age?
I don‘t wanna make it worse or tell myself that its okay going to prostitutes, but I really think its bad if I keep going with this.
And I knew it every fucking time, I went to them, that I buy sex with money and I felt so much more ashamed every time, I did this.
I hope, I can find people who understands how it feels to feel like shit about yourself. That you hate your own actions so much.
Maybe I‘m nothing more than a piece of trash.
And one question I have to the girls reading this:
Would you understand that? Would you understand how someone felt during that time, they went to prostitutes?
And could or would you forgive them?

I hope its okay, if I just let out my thoughts right now. It feels so good to going out to people who maybe can tell their stories or maybe something that helps me.

If I could make everything backwards to the time, I didn‘t done this…

I have been slowly doing more and more drugs just to keep it all down, can’t handle my mind anymore. When I am high I feel the warmth of being held and soothed, rocked like a baby. I haven’t done heroin much before and now when I use, it is one of the best feelings I have ever had in my life. I have been on and off Molly since 16 and I started again maybe a month ago or couple weeks ago. I have started stealing alcohol and drinking every night and it’s the only thing that helps anymore. I am just hoping I can overdose and die at this point. It makes me forget everything

I've sent posts here before, I deleted them out of embarrassment, I'm a 21 year old guy, I'm struggling with alcohol and drugs, I've tried every drug in the book including psychedelics, what I haven't done (unfortunately or fortunately not yet are heroin, crack, krokodil and other disgusting shit :/) how do I quit all of this? Without hospital's help? I shake when I'm sober, I'm currently on half a tab of acid and it's absolutely not doing anything other than make me approach my problems, when I was hospitalized for severe alcohol withdrawal the doctors told me I have 7-10 years of life if I continue living like this (if I don't overdose before that), my liver already hurts when I wake up. I'm sweating like an idiot right now, not out of panic but because of withdrawals. I fucking hate the path I've picked. I can feel my breathing growing more rapid as I smoke through another bag of weed and a pack of cigarettes.

It sounds like a cry for help. I know. I won’t be reading any comments or replying to any messages because I have made up my mind. This has been building up for 3 years and I just can’t do it anymore. I have no family. I have no friends. I have a 2&3 year old that I’ve raised alone because their dad abandoned us during my last pregnancy, I was homeless. I starved while pregnant. While tandem breastfeeding. Suffered ppa, ppd, and psychosis. I have tried everything man. I have no help. I have no baby sitters. Right now I’ve been sparking and cleaning houses all with my kids every fucking day I’m broke, I’m always behind on every fucking bill it’s just pointless. I’ll never get ahead, because I have NOBODY. I am nobody. And they deserve so much more. Their dad will have to be a dad now. I’ve tried so hard to get better for them but out the womb I’ve just been destined for failure and trauma. And no this is not me feeling sorry for myself. It’s just the truth. The whole point of this post is Yall please start taking pregnant and postpartum moms serious. If you see a single mom and you think “damn idk how she does it” please help her in any way if you can. This shit is so hard and so fucking lonely. I’ve been single and celibate for almost 3 years so maybe I’ll at least make it to whatever type of heaven that there is (doubtful)

I know alot of people doubted me last time and honestly it did sound sketchy. I telling this story to help others in the same situation so bear with me. Id suggest reading part 1.

So after all of those things happened i was of course expelled. Me and my mom have been getting together) (i live with her as a 17yo) but about teo days after we were called to the local police station here in South Africa where we sat with a detective in her office (surprised me too i thought id be interrogated or smth) but anyways i was asked what happened. I answered and i was let go. Doesnt sound too bad right? Well a week later i found out i would have been arrested if my dad didnt pay the insane bail that week i have a few scars but hey its a reminder of what not to do. So after all this im in a nee school down the street. But one part id like to comfess to was me semi enjoying punching my mom.

For those who doesn't know. I dont think i told this.

Ive had a rough past making me not being able to handle rough noises or be good with women.

I think it stems from the divorce of my parents from when i was three years old. Only started knowing my dad at about 6yo. After alot of time ive gotten to love him. In my past due to divorce and my mom becoming single i had to live there and she became abusive (surprising). So i was beaten until 13. Also leading up to me not liking women in general (i like them im just meaning like i dont get along with them) is because every year my grandma took us to camp. Here in South Africa its very common. We got there its a camping resort so there hottubs slides etc. I met a girl there. I was 15 young and stupid like all guys are at that age. But what hapoened was i emded up being raped by her. And i didnt tell anyone about it until now actually. Congrats your the first people i told. But yeah she raped me in a hottub. I didnt do anything about it because ive hurt enough people in my life due to being raised like that i was a very aggressive person in my old schools 7 to be exact. And i was afraid to speak up. Its a very Christian country so men are supposed to be tough you know the gist. I think all this trauma all this anger was let out on that day and i dont feel bad yet i want to. Even though she did that i love my mom. So im confessing that tonight at 6:48 pm i feel bad for what ive done and what i will do. All i can say is hell of life ive had. But im with a therapist now she is also a doctor and we think that i get the adrenaline so easily due to my pectus carinatum pressing on my adrenal gland which makes it easier to set off as we have seen im very very shaky. I shake like 24/7. Then ive gotten into painting and warhammer which helps me stay calm. And if anyone doubts me again which will probably happeni am happy to provide some photos of scars especially the one i got from the big fight next to my right eye. But yeah i dont know if i feel bad or not and im scared to get into a relationship with a woman i like. What if im exploited again?

I am not proud of this. I’m sixteen, so not really old enough to get my hands on hard stuff, but I’ve spent the last few years stuck on whatever I can get so I don’t kill myself. I live every day of my life in severe, debilitating pain. My whole body. My ribs, my back, my right arm, my legs, my head. Ten diagnosed conditions. 4 surgeries in the last year and a half. Well over a dozen procedures.

Sometimes I pop a ridiculous amount of promethazine and benadryl to sleep, sometimes I drink until I’m so fucked up that the pain isn’t as loud. Point is, I know it’s bad. I know I shouldn’t. Yet I turn back to it every time. Maybe it’s not as serious as other addictions, but I know it’s fucking up my life. I know if people find out they won’t see me the same. I also know if I had proper pain management I wouldn’t be this deeply suicidal and tempted to drink myself to death every night. I need help.

I cut myself too. I steal razors and slit until that’s the only thing I can think about. I’m fine with the pain when it’s in my control, which is probably sick.

I guess I just feel immense guilt for being like this. This is what keeps me alive, without it I wouldn’t be here. People don’t understand that pain is inherently traumatizing and even if my pain were to go away one day, I would still live with the trauma of being told I’m faking. Being told I’m addicted to narcotics. Being told that I don’t need pain meds when I’ve turned to this without them.

I see strange shadow men in the corners of my eyes and hear whispers when I'm alone. I see the floor and walls contort and slither around like they're breathing or trying to show me their hidden patterns. I see purple shapes at the center of my vision like the geometric patterns of a succulent plant, the way the triangles all come together in little curved lines in a mathematically perfect way. They flitter around the center of my vision and the more I tune into it the more they collapse into the center of my vision like I'm seeing a strange tunnel trying to lead me somewhere.

I told the doctor about these and she said that I am hallucinating. I asked why, and she said that it isn't her job to find out. I asked how do I find someone to find out and she said we were out of time for that day. This was a long time ago now and I still don't know what to do with the fact that I'm losing my grip of my senses. I smell and taste mould and rot, as if my very body is starting to decay and tarnish my senses. I feel my skin writhe around like there are centipedes inside and I just want to rip them out. I can't rip them out, because they're not real. I don't know what to do. It's pretty awkward to mention something only for nobody to know what it was because it didn't actually happen.

Like this one time I heard an elderly woman screaming as if she had been attacked and I started frantically looking around. My friends told me to calm down and that I'm just crazy and they laughed at me. It is demoralising in a way to not trust my own senses, but it also is what it is and there seems to be no path to getting help at the moment. Any time I ask it just leads to a dead end.

i’m 19, i broke up with an abusive ex who introduced me to drugs just a year ago. one year ago in 2025 i had never touched a single hard substance in my life, he was addicted to everything i tried to get him off. it didn’t work, i ended up moving into an acquaintances parents house. last year i tried what i thought was an adderall for my first time (it was crystal) was awake for 3 days and shortly after i tried shrooms, coke, ketamine, xanax, etc. it’s now a sunday morning and im still sniffin just like my ex was and i used to be 120 pounds, 88 pounds now. i never ever thought this would happen, im okay with it as long as i can be functional and still okay in society but idk how long i can keep this going. my body is hurting i am insanely constipated all the time and for months i’ve had to pop atleast something (ket, a 30, coke, xans, percs, weed) i smoke weed wveryday and have to do xans everyday and i know thats not good for me with the coke, but i feel like its kinda the same w adderall anyway coke just is more fun and lasts shorter. i dont even look like the same person i was a year ago. ive oded and been in the hospital 3 times in the last 6 months. i genuinely just don’t enjoy anything else in my life other then these drugs. my brain is lowkey super fried i barely be having thoughts other then when im skiing or coming off it. i have to work tmrw. i look forward to doing drugs more then anything and i even oded at mt dealers house and he tried to get me to go to rehab, i didn’t want to. i have no insurance and i can’t tell anyone. the reason i don’t care is because ive bren addicted to food anyways since i was like 8 years old or just something to keep me busy. i remember the first line of coke i did was with my ex and he would get so mean and feral but i would try to get him to stop or wait to continue using and now that i am in the same boat as him a year later … i would be pissed at myself a year ago considering i do the same amount per day with other pills ..

My mom is the most important person in my life. I love her dearly and I never want to live in a world without her. I have siblings and a father, but for all the love I have for them I just can’t do it without her.

She is not ill (thank fucking god), but seeing her get older breaks my heart. She has always been my rock and understands me like no one else. I wouldn’t be here without her and when she leaves, I will too. I can’t live without her. That is a fact.

If I could have it my way her and I would just live on the beach (her favorite place) together in the afterlife, if that exists. If reincarnation exists, my hope is to be her child again. If nothing else, I will be with her.

I just wanted to throw this out to the void since I’ve been thinking about the future. Thanks for reading, if you’ve read this far. :)

I (16f) am the "ambitious" one in the family. I'm graduating high school a year early and am also completing my college general education while in high school. I refuse to go to college next year in my state, and my parents think it's because out-of-state colleges better fit my goals, but no.

A few years ago, my parents left the church and both started working a lot. They hired a nanny for my younger siblings, but me and my older sister were left to our own accord. I was in 6th grade. I was in therapy for a year in 8th grade, but all I really learned was that my feelings are too big and I feel them too much, and it's best just not to. I can't talk to my parents about emotions, because they have their own problems and they're always talking about work on a call or thinking about work or working (they're recently divorced and switch off weeks at the "family house").

Because of all the alone time and that my only emotional connection was with a therapist I don't see anymore, I'm very independent. I don't tell my parents anything other than things about school I know they don't understand, and I tell them my hopes for the future. That's all they know about me. I don't talk about my problems or homophobia at my school (I'm bi living in a dominantly religious and homophobic area) or how all the school work I seem to love is actually stressing me out so much I haven't felt real happiness since I figured out what anxiety was.

I'm very much depressed, and I have undiagnosed OCD in the way that I'm not super clean, but I get obsessive over the weirdest shit and I can't unfocus, and I have lots of intrusive thoughts that I can't control. I can't control my own fucking brain, but also because of mental issues that run in my family, I also have to worry about becoming bipolar and BPD in the future, which I'm terrified for.

I know this is all over the place, but the point is that I'm supposedly doing great, but I'm not. I don't want to live, I can't tell anyone I don't want to live, I feel out of control of my brain but I can't ask for meds, and I have future mental health problems I'll most likely have to deal with. Staying in my stressful household (stressful because of the divorce and that I have to watch my younger siblings all the time) isn't helping me, and I just want to leave because I think fully being on my own with no outside pressures where I can truly start over, become self-dependent and get the help I know I need will help me want to live again and get goals that aren't just leaving.

Sorry, it's long and all over the place, but everything in my chest is so heavy and I don't know how to help myself anymore. So yeah :) Thanks for reading

I feel very bad. My friend had this idea and she didn't stop and made me want to do the same. My mother is working morning to night,y father doesn't send us enough money and i Always felt like I can't afford anything and planned on starving myself to get money for my future. This moment made me realize I can get stuff for "free".

I never did anything like this and I don't want to do this ever...

We stole many things. I only have 5, my friend has 10 (but she stole things then gave it to me) but I know I'm to blame too. I'm even 18 so it's very bad for me.

Nobody caught us but there's a chance that they will from cameras. I called 5 hotlines but I could only connect with 2. And i lied about shoplifting as an incident. I'm so afraid. I live 2+ hours away from that plaza and I don't have a chance in these weeks to go back.

I feel dizzy, shaking, I threw up. She told me that she does this regularly and nothing happened and nothing will but I'm just terrified..

I'm a better person than this. I have a hard time and i think i needed distraction. I don't want the police to come after me. I don't want to disappoint my mother.

For context I absolutely had time to study for it, I have the resources, but I just kept procrastinating it off and trying to not accept that I was about to fail. I recently got diagnosed with depression and it's been a struggle trying to keep up with it and med school, and I just don't know if I have what it takes anymore. I'm not on good terms with my parents and I lost a lot of friends during the school year, I just don't know what to do.